Pretty standard report. good though.

That School For Ya, Run By Poop Nazis

So what DID happen on the return to the classroom?

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And it burns, burns, burns -
The ring of fire.

One lash on your bare ass in font of the class for evey minute you were late.

Hmm that has happened to me except I had to fill out the bathroom "log" and then wait for the last kid to comeback with the huge wooden pass that had passed from dirty hand to dirty hand on its voyages to and from the bathroom (and had probably been left on the bathroom floor in a puddle of who knows what) before I could waddle down the hall to one stall over flowing with shit and one with the door kicked in keeping me from even entering it. So I did what any person in my situation would do, I shat in the urinal, and it felt really really good. I did it again, not because there was no stall available, just cause it made me happy

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poop makes the heart grow fonder

Reminds me of my high school teacher. There was a field trip, a long all day one, in which we got a bus with a lavatory. I had severe diarrhea that day, due to last night's oregano-y sauce (I love ya Mom, but Prego makes my ass burn) and the teacher would not let one of us into the lavatory. Personally airplane and bus toilets are horrifying, but my ass-tastic feats somehow let me crap without my bum touching the seat. Anyway, I finally sprung up, ran to the toilet, and unleashed a fiery mess. I came out shaking slightly, much to the displeasure of the teacher, who gave me a supreme look. I stuck my hand in my pocket and flipped her off discreetly.

Ugh. I'm close to 30, but I can probably count on one hand the number of times I crapped during school hours when I was growing up.

I agree that school procedures for using the bathroom really suck. At my middle school, if we arrived before 7:30 am. we had to wait outside unless it was storming. Several times I had to shit but needed to hold it until one of the assistant principals would let us into the lobby. One morning the door to the girls bathroom in the main commons area was locked and I had to go to the office, wait at least five minutes while the secretaries answered phone calls, and then was only told that I should be going before I leave home. SORRY that I had to take a city bus, transfer once, and in a 45-minute trip wasn't able to time my morning shit better. On another morning, the same bathroom was locked again because 25 representatives of some civic club were going to visit later that day and they wanted to keep the bathroom nice for them. One day during the first week of school in my 8th grade year, administrators were herding students out of the building unless they were jocks or otherwise in an after school activity. That sucked for me and I was again told that I should be able to hold it until I got home. I had to think fast as I could have dropped my panties right then and there for a full dump. A friend recommended that I go to the public park across the street but my hopes were dimmed when I found a padlock on the door of the ladies room. However, I noticed that the mens door was open. I didn't hesitate to go in, and although it was open stall, completely unload--and with little time to spare. Unfortunately, I found there was not toilet paper or even a roll on what had been the holder. I used lined notebook paper from my bookbag to do my wipe. Two mornings later there was no administrator guarding the door and I was able to walk right in. I had missed a day and my shit was coming. I learned from a secretary that all faculty, counselors and administrators were in an emergency meeting. TIME FOR PAYBACK! I inched back to the administrative complex, found their one stall ladies bathroom, closed the door and with a full latch, I might add, I equally deposited my squat-dropped shit on both sides of the seat. I found there was a dispenser of toilet seat protector tissues built into the wall and I liberated each and every one for my purse. It was my best day at Jefferson Middle School!

We here at Poopreport.com neither condone or endorse turd terrorism. However, the above comment left me with a sense of satisfaction. As a mother, I am tired to death of reading kids post these types of control-freak school stories.
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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

When I was in grade 12 I had a similar episode with regards to my poop-chute.
I was in chemistry class, felt funny in the tummy, went to the stall, dropped my pants, proceeded to have the worst diarrhea in my memory. This was the smelly kind(and I mean it was like a dead skunk that had proceeded to crawl in my bottom and then to become the victim of horrible things from an other dead skunk and then both fermented into liquid)that I myself noticed quite pungently. After I had finished a gentleman by the name of Ryan entered and said to his friends "OOHH GOD! It smells like Grampa in here!!!!". Being the Shameless Shitter I pride myself to be I totally owned up to the deed, walked out of the stall, then said "Well then, that felt F*&^in' good!". They just Stared

I am in University now, but I still remember the days back in high school and how embarrassed I was to fill out the form to say how long I had been in the bathroom. I have IBS, so sudden diarhea has always been common to me. I HATED high school. They should NOT let a child go without emptying their bowels and bladder, it is more distracting to a child's learning than anything else really.

I find the discussion of school "bureaucracies" to be immensely interesting. Although I'm 30 now and gave up on being a teacher after my second semester of practice teaching, I still can remember the rules and regulations that were in place and how, even as a part-time college student and practice teacher, I was expected to be repressive to students and, as I look back, it didn't make a hell of a lot of sense.

The first time I was reprimanded by my cooperating teacher was when one of the girls in my middle school English class was found sitting on a toilet peeing by another teacher. The problem was that she was in the restroom two floors on top of our classroom and not the two-stall bathroom right across the hall. They took her down to the main office and referred her to an assistant principal because she was in an "unauthorized area." They refused to believe her story that the nearby restroom, because it is more heavily used, is dirtier and, she said, actually had pee on one of the seats. In another case that semester, I had a boy sign out to take a shit and he sat down in an open stall bathroom to accomplish that. However, the toilet was plugged up and it was running over when one of the assistant principals walked in on him. While my student wasn't directly blamed for the clogging (that the administration thought was deliberate), he was told that 20 minutes in the restroom was excessive and that on the next offense, he would get a detention. His mother called the administration but her arguments on his behalf were largely blown off. Finally, I was on the stool about 5 p.m. one evening taking a shit when two girls came in, shared one stall and were cussing up a storm. They didn't see me but when I came out I took down their names and talked to them, they broke down and cried because they felt the administrator would call their parents. I was reprimanded in writing for not using the faculty bathroom and setting a bad example by not following all the rules expected of practice teachers and faculty.

Like Natalie, I feel that the rules of the schools leave a lot to be desired. When people start telling me what bathroom I can use, and under what conditions I should use it, the line has been crossed. Although I finished my practice teaching, earned 10 credits and graduated, I dropped my aspirations of having my own classroom for an entry-level job in a bank.

And I sit and pee/shit twice or three times daily when I want to, using the stall I want to, and I don't have to worry about what the "bureaucrats" will say!

Weak, sounds like the typical nerd story about an extended poop.

AfroButtgirl. Forget the story. We got a comment from AfroButtGirl.

Someone sounds entranced.......;)

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Sorry, bigpoppapoop, I'm a nerd. I am a fiction writer, and I could have changed the story to make it so I crapped my pants, but that just wouldn't be right because that's not what happened. It would've made for a more interesting story, I'm sure, roaming the halls with pants full of shit, looking for a way to escape. But, it's my first poop report. I've had diarrhea this past week, but nothing report-worthy. Sorry you thought it was weak.

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See that poo? That's MY poo! This is MY territory! Ha ha! So...go sniff around somewhere else, you dumb dog.

Schools just were not made for reality. My high school smells like it was built crap. Especially the 300 hall. I go there only for science club and as I enter, a smell that should only be on the other side of the hall hits my nose as if the hulk had break in the turd dam.

In my General Business class we've been talking about the bathrooms in our high school and how they have deteriorated since a national building custodial management company took over supervision five years ago. Our teacher says the change was made in our large school district to save several hundred thousand dollars a year. She pulled up articles for us from national "business journals" showing how they bulk buy the cleaning chemicals used at a much lower price, they redesigned cleaning training to make it easier and more efficient, and they have changed the cleaning schedules of each bathroom to save money by cutting back on the total number of janitor hours worked.

In my class there's a girl whose older brother was on our school newspaper staff and he wrote the story about the change when it took place five years ago. He was not allowed to talk to the supervisor from the management company (when he visited the building for his weekly inspection)and our principal required that the story be written well ahead of deadline so that it could be faxed to the management company for "approval". Several edits were made including comments from students--both male and female--complaining of leaky and clogged toilets, urine on the seats, very thin toilet paper that can/does rip when you wipe, cold water at the sometimes clogged sinks, etc. Basically, the 12 paragraph story was cut in half by the administration and the staff was not allowed to run a picture of one of the many clogged toilets. A staff editorial also scheduled was bumped back for two weeks for approval by the board office. The piece, which was agreed upon by the entire newspaper staff, said that while some students are abusive and there is "negligence and vandalism", the administration also has a responsibility that was not being met. A proposal for a complaint to our county or state-level health department was severely edited to say that the school district will always stay within "compliance requirements." He said such a statement made him want to barf and I'm glad he didn't because that would have been just one less toilet for us to use because it would not have been promptly cleaned up due to the cutbacks.

As for me, I guess I'm the lucky one. I only have to sit down at school about once a week to crap and I've found a couple little used bathrooms in the oldest wing of the building. They're open stall but small enough that I have some privacy. On the other hand, my girlfriend who is a senior, goes two or three times a day because she's in activities and is on campus longer. However, she gets up a 5 a.m. so she can crap before leaving home and she lines the seat at school with paper before sitting down--something she never did before.

I feel sorry for the students that don't stop to think about how to handle the bathrooms in our school. They are MEAN!

I find Flash's report to be quite interesting. I was on my high school's paper staff back in 1997 when we raised a very similar issue about a management cleaning company coming in and how the cleaning deteriorated. With each deterioration, there was more vandalism, unkempt stalls with unflushed toilet paper and shit, and on a few occasions, students actually squatting over and shitting into a large circular sink. I found it very appalling one morning after taking a shit, when washing my hands, a relatively recent 12-inch long turd had been left right under the faucet. Two hours later after I peed, it was still there!

When I went to the administration with my notepad and asked for an interview, I was basically stonewalled with my questions and told there was really no story to be told because the problem could be traced back to students who vandalized or otherwise misused the bathrooms. I personally shot two pictures upclose of clogged stools in the girls bathroom and we ran a third picture which was a closeup of two pieces of shit on the seat in the boys bathroom. (My boyfriend shot it and he wrote a first-person article about how he has to decide whether to sit down at school or "hold it in" until he gets home). Two hours after the issue came out were called into the activity director's office and told the story and photos were inappropriate for a school paper and that our adviser would be required to sumbit all page proofs before they were sent to the printer.

Last night I had to both shit and pee at a professional baseball game. Although I don't directly sit on a public toilet seat, it was exhilarating to know that I could spend as much time in the stall as I needed and report on my experiences to PoopReport.com WITHOUT being told there was no story there and basically being belittled for asking a few questions of those in power.

At one of my various junior high schools we had to watch our bathroom habits. It was one of these schools where two kids shot themselves in the head once, and after that the teachers were always suspecting we were doing something wrong. We couldn't wear hats or carry backpacks, because they claimed we'd carry knives and guns in them. They did random locker searches for drugs. We were not allowed to use the payphone because we might deal drugs. (This is no lie. They told us these things outright.) Often, these assholes would come into the bathroom and kick open the stall doors looking for kids doing drugs (which never actually happened) and if you lingered too long you ended up with a broken nose. I was almost tempted to wait until a teacher used the stall and then kick the door open on her, or else throw a wad of used toilet paper over the partition and ask if she wanted to get high on it.

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Behold! My new farting super power! BRAPP!!!

I remember on my 15th birthday the hassle of signing out of study hall, going down the hall to the bathroom and knowing that I had just a couple of minutes before I needed to take my first high school shit. (It only happened three times in my four years that I HAD to use the bathroom at school). All SEVEN stalls were without toilet paper and a couple even had urine splashed on the seat. I remember using my foot to push some pubic hairs off the one I used before I reluctantly sat down. It was one of those 30-second shits and I was off the stool, pulled up my panties and jeans and then had to walk upstairs to the second floor where I found the stalls had toilet paper and then I cleaned myself. Then I went down to the first floor, stopped in the main office, and told one of the secretaries. You could tell she didn't care because she didn't write it down and only made some lame comment about everybody having a stake in keeping the bathrooms clean. Well, what about me? When I got back to study hall about 25 minutes later the teacher questioned why I was gone so long. I told him and he just put an amused smirk on his face like he knew the faculty bathrooms were in much better shape and they probably had the toilet seat covers and a liberal supply of toilet paper and soap. I remember telling a friend then and I remember it now: bureaucracies suck!

Time limit? Potty Nazis! Crap in class once..That'll show 'em..Well,no..But(t) still..That's a topic for the PTA..The Right to Go When You Gotta.

Thanks to summer vacation, it's been four weeks since I had to sit on one of those god awful toilets at school. I'm 16 and work part-time in the evenings. My job is at a fast-food outlet on the other side of the city (my cousin is the manager)and most of the employees have been talking about liking their freedom for the summer. Specifically, they all say their school's bathrooms suck with the exception of Monika, who just graduated, and in four years said she's never used one. (Some of us don't believe her because we have to go in two or three times a day!). One school offered a reward for an arsonist, who over the year, burned three stalls by starting toilet paper rolls on fire. At Jen's school, the administration would take the door off every stall if it had been vandalized and it would be open for a week or two. She doesn't like having to go all the way upstairs just to pee. Chad said all the stalls in each restroom have been open for the two years he's been there. His dad suggested he bring a book in to put on his lap when he's crapping. Molly's situation is worse because really mean teachers walk through, peak in each stall and will come back in a couple of minutes and expect to see a different person in the stall. Otherwise, you owe them an explanation or they take down your name. Her father, who is a cop, thinks that sucks since it's what the police use to mark abandoned cars for towing. The bathrooms at Mustangs however are pretty clean and they are checked every two hours. The biggest problem, however, is stopped-up stools due to large shits in the mens room and little boys who without parent help, pee over the seat. All of us girls see no problems with the ladies room. However, a couple of weeks ago we had a nice older lady "suggest" that we put toilet seat covers in the bathrooms. Our group was talking about her comment and what she would say if she had to use the bathroom two or three times a day at any one of our schools. When we got done with our laugh, we were getting behind on orders.

A year ago, at the end of my freshman year, my family moved from California to the midwest. I agree with the lady that Doin' Fine Now mentioned with the suggestion that toilet seat covers be made available in that restaurant. In addition, I would also recommend them for schools. I had them in my middle school and was use to them when I reached high school. Why my new school, with almost twice as many students doesn't have them, I don't know. I just find it to be an unnecessary hassle to put sheets of toilet paper over the seat before I sit down. I know, however, that many of my friends and many of the girls overall don't and they think nothing of just sitting down. My boyfriend has that same opinion and says the guys just wouldn't use the seat covers. On the other hand, I know that many public places have them. I would have to think there is at least something positive to be staid about using them.

what did u ever receive for being out so long great story little bastard hoggin up the stall
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i have met many people that talk like asses but i have not met many asses that talk like people

About every year or two my parents move because my father is with a fast-growing corporation. Yes, I'm seeing more of the country and learning to adapt to diverse situations, but I find it appalling that more students may age (16) just don't believe in seeking change from the school's district administration. I have several friends at my current school who have the same idea as Sucks For Me and Doin' Fine Now bring up and that's making the toilet seat tissues available in the public schools. They probably wouldn't get used until the middle school level but I feel they could serve an important purpose at that time because we have so many students using and abusing the school bathrooms. Last year I got use to putting one down and this year I've got to take the time to place three strips of paper over the seat and do it ever so carefully so that one or two don't slide off. Although my friends and I see advantages to this and two even have parents involved in the PTA, they have no faith that their proposal would be taken seriously by the big district bureaucracy which oversees about 40 high schools and middle schools. I know that many students just accept the situation and sit right down on the seat, hoping for the best. I think toilet seat tissues would be a better option for those that would use them, but there doesn't seem to be as many believers that the school would be willing to add them and during the years of our attendance.

To everyone who's commented on this thread. As they say in Australia, "harden the fuck up".

It really isn't *that* hard to control your bladder and bowels for a couple of hours until the next break. I never had a problem in that respect throughout my time in school. Just stop complaining, and live with it.

The only exception is if you're ill, or if you have a medical condition such as IBS which affects your bodily functions. In the former case, you should just explain to the teacher that you feel ill, and they will probably let you leave; in the latter case, the school should already know about it.

But for any kid/teenager with normal bladder and bowel functions, you should just be able to hold it. Unwillingness to do so is simply weakness.

You da man, Chuck, you da man.

I can relate to a lot of what Tina posted. I was taught by my dad at a very young age (about 3rd grade) to put toilet paper, or if it wasn't available, paper hand towels over seats at school and in public places. At first a lot of guys weren't doing it but now I notice more are. At my high school, yesterday I was on the stool and because all of our bathrooms are open stall, four guys looked in but didn't use the stall immediately to the right of mine because there were only a couple of sheets of toilet paper left on the roll. When I was at the sink washing my hands, three of the four were in other stalls and were sitting on paper. So, Tina, I think the toilet seat tissues would be well used and appreciated by the guys.

Yes, I was taught not to sit on the toilets at school too. It was probably when I was around middle school age. However, you tend to do like your friends do and mine didn't much care about putting paper over the seat so it's something we just don't. I don't think having tissues available in a stall would make much difference. We've been in high school three years and we're not about to change our opinions. Sure, the bathrooms are dirty and they basically suck but holding it in and exploding my anus and bladder isn't an option.

"Unwillingness to do so is simply weakness"
This is especially worthless considering that Chuck UK has posted on another thread that he's not posting here anymore because he's tired of being mocked.

So, to recap - it's weak for a 14 to 16 year old not to be able to hold urine or feces in for a "couple of hours" - meaning at least 2, but it's not weak for a grown man to leave a website because people don't take him or his scat-related, animal-abusing, inconsiderate, pompous opinions seriously.

Chuck UK has shown himself to be weaker emotionally and mentally than he expects children who are most likely half his age to be physically. Good riddance.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

*horrified by the memory* Thanks KTF, you have just awoken a long dormant memory of something similar, but far, far, fart worse

It was 1974, I, as tiny as I was, had just reached my seventh year.

Now, being so small, I had confidence issues. (years of gymnastics, ballet and bodybuilding have changed that). Anyhoo, it was the classroom pre christmas party, every child had their mother provide a shit load of home baked fare. We decorated the classroom in the morning, and then sat there all afternoon, on this, the last day of term, stuffing our faces with the output of other peoples kitchens.

It was only an hour or so into the afternoon when the first rumble arrived. Lacking the confidence to ask for a break, I struggled through. After another hour, the pressure was borderline explosive. This was now the white knuckle ride from hades. Hometime loomed. Could I just hang in there for on half hour? No! This was it! No waving of hands in the air, no slight of calm.... absolute panic!!

"MISS! MISS! MISS!"

I screamed, she was too busy listening to 'Santa Claus is coming to town', having downed a couple of elicit sherrys.

'Fuck it!', I thought, 'I'm outta here'

Jumped down from the table, shot out of the classroom, taking out 2 students and a chair as I bolted, raced across the expansive main hallway, through the cloakroom, and into the 'kiddy loo'. Thinking I've just made it, I raced towards a stall, opened the door........ TOOOOO LATE! My best party pants were now bulging and steaming. Now with about 20 mins of schooltime to go, I had to return to class. Now with more than my tail between my legs, I went back to class. The other students parted down the classroom like Moses at the Red sea. I sat (eeeww) alone, until the bell went. At which point, I gingerly, left school, and walked the quarter mile home. As the shit slowly worked its way down the left leg of my party pants, every step left a mushy, still steaming turd, on the ground behind me. By the time I made it home, the pants, were empty, and my reputation was in tatters. My mother was supportive, but to this day, memories of this are more than enough, to set off 5 or so days of terrible toilet trouble.

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like a constipated accountant- I worked it out with a pencil.

Ooh! further to that, why, do I refer to, as I do,

"terrible toilet trouble"
as
"The Tripple T's"

What's the point?

Further therapy looms I fear.

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like a constipated accountant- I worked it out with a pencil.

Of all the posts on this thread, the 02-27-07 rememberances of Natalie are the closest to the sometimes horrid experiences I had in middle school back in the 1980s. Being denied the right to go to the bathroom and being told that you should be holding it and going at home is asinine -- especially when made by professional educators. Many of the things Naltalie encountered were also true with me. However I had an additional one: I shared one bathroom with five older sisters as well as two parents. Sitting down and having a nice, easy crap or even a pee was not in the cards if I wanted to make it to the bus stop on time and not get written up (as did a lot of my friends) for first hour tardies. Individual situations need to be taken into account. After a couple of months I got up the nerve to go to my counselor, who was right out of college but had a good understanding of practical issues rather than just what was the most expedient for managing students, but she got shot down in advocating against the repressive bureaucratic policies. I was completely miserable during my two years of middle school. High school was better because we were given a little more freedom and by the time I got to college, I started to see how tragically we had been treated.