Wiper, sorry to say this isn't your best work. It could be summarized as "I went to camp and took a dump". I'm sure everyone will now unload all sorts of vitriol on me but I have to call 'em the way I see 'em.

CEP

"I went to camp and took a dump" (many times, I might add!) might have been the theme of the hyperlinked summer camp story, but not this one. The effect of homesickness on the bowels is something that would be very hard to document or study, but it was real for me. I can't imagine it hasn't happened to others in similar situations.

I'm sure no one will fault you for your opinion here, though.

CEP, maybe your confusion is my fault. As editor I cut this last line from this story, thinking it was obvious:

"Bowels, it seems, need to be given a chance to grow up, too, and can't be rushed into maturity before their time."

Maybe I should have left it in.

It's funny how many people I've noticed who have some sort of pooping calamity at summer camp. Never had this problem myself, but I have known many people with this difficulty. Interestingly enough, the ones with such stories are always the guys. The girls I know never had pooping stories from their summer camp days.

TSV: I was thinking that summer camp is probably the first time that many kids are away from home. Thus, the homesick bowel syndrome strikes. Shall we call it HBS?

I never got to experience summer camp. I really feel leftout. I wonder if there are summer camps for 35 year olds?? I led a sheltered life and was not away from home for longer than a day until I was 14 or 15. I do remember getting sick there too. Stomache problems if I remember. Hmmmm, I think there something to this "HBS"

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Regional POWER POOPING CHAMPION 1988-2006
Poop Shooter!

I wonder if HBO could get away with a documentary special on HBS?

Hey, Poop Shooter, I think it would be neat if someone came up with summer camp for thirty and forty-somethings. Or one for the truly middle-aged.

Why stop there? How about a geriatric summer camp? Big sport would be power-walking with walkers. And talk about the poop stories!

Hey TBW, you just had a case of the Subterranean Homesick Bowel Blues.

I think the line about flushing away the only memento from camp, was the best ending. If Dave had left the other one in, it would have taken away from that. Addressing the impact of homesickness induced stress, is a worthy enough reason for the story. However, the writing made it enjoyable and gave me a laugh at the end.

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The Late Great
SamDamnit!
http://www.myspace.com/saintcarnivean

Like Poop Shooter, I never had the pleasure of summer camp, but I did spend enough time away from home as a kid. I was never homesick though; my problem was that I never wanted to go home, but that's not the point.

Actually, wait, maybe it kind of is. I was never homesick, but also had problems pooping away from home. I think of it this way. When we're very young, our parents toilet-train us in our own bathrooms, and usually nowhere else. When we're little and have to poo away from home, a good number of parents tell us "wait until we get home." Maybe that early psychological conditioning carries with us for a few more years. I remember on most vacations up until I was 18 pulling in the driveway and taking a shit shortly after. I did shit on longer vacations, but the volume was much less and there was often a few days between shits; on a weekend getaway I would often not shit at all. Going away to college effectively broke me of that, though.

Kinda off thread, but shitting on foreign turf has always been rather neat to me. Providing the facilities were clean. I figure for every strange toilet I adorn with my droppings, that's one less on the earth that I need to conquer.

I have a sort of unwritten grading system for unfamiliar toilets... comfort, height, flushability, ease of tp reach, warmth, and if I get a sastifactory evacuation and good feelings about the whole poop.

......I have wayyyyyy too much time on my hands right now!!!

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Regional POWER POOPING CHAMPION 1988-2006
Poop Shooter!

Hell,5 days worth of camp food,bet that looked nasty in the bowl.

There are geriatric summer camps. I work for one... www.elderhostel.org

PooperGal
"Searching for the Origin of the Feces"

They have camps for adults.Las Vegas,Hedonism II,Club Med etc.They are very poop friendly.In Vegas you can crap in your hotel room,in the casino or in the lobby.Most people crap out in the casino.Hedonism has crappers on the beach.

Actually, PooperGal, I've heard of the Elderhostel organization. I once gave a book talk for an Elderhostel tour bus group. Thanks for the heads-up on the camp situation.

I think this is one story that everyone has experienced during their childhood (HBS). Good going TBW, you always seem to find something that touches a cord with most peoples lives, and well written to boot.

The idea here is to underscore the fact that anxieties, from whatever cause, can ROYALLY screw up your bowel habits. I have been there. The purpose of this post was not to tell everyone that "I went to camp, and took a dump!"

This story is good and does raise an interesting question (that about what we're calling HBS), but I agree with C Everett in that this isn't your BEST work.

I still enjoyed it. ;)

well i did not read all the commments..But i was allways very close to my mom and dad they would never have sent me to camp unless i asked and would have had to allmost begg..Its disheartning to hear of little kids being sent off to campjust to get rid of them..I am not saying thats your case big wiper at all .But do know that it does happen to some.And being home sick can do more tham give you turd problems.Anytime your depressed you body feels the effects mind and phycically.Ieven think i got irratable bowel from emotional upset and drepression earlier in my life..Cause IBS is a condition of the nerves in the intestines i've been told by doctors..Teddy please excuse my mispelled words .

Everett, you are succinct as always, but you got the theme of the story exactly backward. TBW's REAL point was, "I went to camp and didn't take a dump." This is a phenomenon well worthy of further exploration on PoopReport.

Of course, to say something is not TBW's "best work" is like saying "Old Woman with a Walking-Stick" is not Rembrandt's best painting. It is STILL a fucking Rembrandt, man!

I agree that eight is too young for almost any child to be sent away from home for that long. Hell, even the British, who are pretty cold-blooded about these things, keep their children at home for a couple of years longer than that.

I have my own summer-camp horror story that I will attempt to share as soon as my therapist will let me.

I was sent to summer camp every year from age 9 on through high school. Sometimes I went to two different ones in one summer (at least in CA, camp is only one week). I always WANTED to go, so I never had poop problems, but there's always one homesick kid in every cabin, and I can see where it would affect EVERY aspect of their life of misery at camp.

It's funny, GottaGoGirl. All these years later, I still wonder what the hell my parents were thinking sending me off that young! They waited until my brother was ten and sent him off with me to another camp, so neither of us had any problems then. We both had fun.

I suppose I could ask my father next time I see him, of course. I wonder if he'd even remember it.

I really don't think eight is that young. I was sent to summer camp around the time of my sixth birthday and I didn't have much of a problem. People shelter their kids too much now.

I'm sitting in a campsite stall, got a syndrome sticking in my crawl, ooo ooo ooh

In the john my camp food lands, some toilet paper in my hand, and every square is neatly planned for a poo-et and a thick-long straaaaaaaaaaaaand.

Hoooooooooooomesick Bowels, I know I have, Homesick Bowels,

Home, 'til my bowels mature,
Home, cranking out manure,
Home, where the farts cause furor,
Silent but deadly...silent but deadly.

I can hear the harmonica now, along with the steady tapping of feet in the nearby stalls. Even wiping would be done in sync to this doo-wah-ditty!

Good stuff, Turdy.

I always have trouble pooping away from home. I just moved recently and I've been backed up for the past week and a half. I finally let one slip two days ago but I didn't feel much relief. :(
About 20 minutes ago I felt some intense lower back pain, which I had attributed to over-doing-it unpacking and moving boxes. That is, until I felt the gastrointestinal cramps kick in also. I was so happy I nearly skipped to the bathroom! Instead of grunting and groaning, I swear I was smiling as I squeezed this juggernaut of a turd out! However, it wasn't long before my smile faded :(
It was too wide of a load and wouldn't flush down. My 8inch floater stuck in the toilet is not exactly how I want to start off my new relationship with my housemate.

Any suggestions? The plunger didn't do a thing.
This was the first story I have read here and I felt a strong connection, thank you for the comfort.

You need one of these!

Anonymous, have you tried a shoehorn?

I only went to summer camp twice, and never went back because the second time was horrible. There was no privacy whatsoever, and since I used to be shameful, I just held it. It felt so good to be back home to relax on my own toilet. However, the huge dump that soon followed wasn't so comforting. I think summer camps should offer better environments for people to take care of their dirty work. Holding it for a week or two is very unhealthy (and gave me lower back pain), so I do believe we could justify installing better facilities.

Tell more, DF. This smells like a poop story to me.

Both years of summer camp were similar; I guess I hated the second time more because I dreaded it, but my parents sent me. Luckily, I would be too old next summer. Anyway, on with the story...

This was a summer camp for one week in eastern North Carolina, which will remain nameless to protect the guilty *ahem* er, the innocent. I'm the lazy type, so I disliked how everyone had no choice but to get up at 7am and go through exercise drills for about an hour before eating the same kind of low-quality "food" you'd find in a school cafeteria. The kind of food that normally runs right through you...

I remember Monday after lunch looking for a decent shitter with not one to be found. The stalls that had doors were falling off the hinges and none of them latched anymore, hence no privacy. I left the "bath house" and never went back. Luckily we went swimming in a lake every day, allowing me a chance to at least relieve something (Don't gross out over this, I know you all do it too!). Needless to say, I had a rough time holding in all that bad food for the whole week. I was ready and eager to go back home Friday afternoon. My dad, who works in two hospitals, knew I needed to go the moment I got off the bus and into the car. He can read body language better than anyone I know. As soon as I got home, I took a huge, painful dump. As usual, the god awful toilet in my bathroom wouldn't flush it (it even backs up with no solids in it. That house REALLY needs new plumbing) so I frantically searched the house for a plunger. Why my parents kept it in the bathroom closet I'll never know. Finally, I got the huge turd to leave my sight forever. Victory!! It was a little rough readjusting to normal life again after that, but after just a few days I was dumping normally again, my trusty plunger by my side.

I know, just another lame story with no pizzazz, but Dumpster asked for it. Hey, at least I tried.

Also, a side note: I really like the industrial/commercial toilets with larger holes than a typical home toilet and pressurized power flush. Might I be able to install one (or three) in a house? I can take pictures of my favorite toilet if need be.

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Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

I just thought I'd bring this story back. Looks like I've found another story of mine, added as a comment. I'd say this is *unoffially* my first PR story. Critique is welcome.

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I'm the only geek I know who has to flush twice. Or who clicks on links in people's sigs.

Camptipation is a pretty common phenomenon. I used to go to camp every year and would never poop until the fourth day.

I wonder if this was edited out of Genesis by some Shameful church father during the Dark Ages: "And on the Fourth Day, a poop was finally taken..."