So that is what ya'll do up there in Mesquite on date night? This is good to know....Making note to self...no date nights in Mesquite....stay in Houston.
Producing waste since 1967

No, I have a third question: Why are you such a dick?

You are rude and arrogant, and your story was insulting and lame as hell.

I'm surprised dave posted this garbage.

Whoa doniker...calm down, my man! I'm gonna have to reread this - I must've missed the dickishness, rudeness and arrogance...
Mickey: I see nothing wrong with a grown man taking a date to go miniature golfing: why not? I can't speak to the other entertainment options available in Mesquite, but miniature golf can be an easy-going way to kill an hour or so.
As to the woman's poor judgement: who knows? Maybe she had done a pre-golf download and thought she had nothing more to worry about. It sounds like she was truly caught by surprise - any of us who've been in similar shituations know how it can happen just that way.

I have to agree with doniker. The story was anti-climatic and had shit all to do with... well shit.

There is a fine line and you didn't quite cross it to humour. The escalator shitter, was funny, this just inspired empathy towards the woman.

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Always,
Craven Morhead

*YAWN* ... Mesquite and putt-putt golf = Garland and bowling which = polyester twin cities ...

Fudge:

this whole story was filled with insults about fat women.
Also this idiot is assuming that anyone that plays putt putt is a retard.

I have alot of fond memories of taking my daughter to play putt putt and it is alot of fun.

doniker, In Houston we have in-door puttputt golf and the thing glows in the dark. Very kool. Lots of fun.
Producing waste since 1967

I have known plenty of women who had babies but NONE of them ever took a shit on a putt-putt course.

Doniker, why the big reaction? Fat people who play miniature golf were put on this planet to be ridiculed. I thought the story of the fat teenage girl who had to get a turd dug out of her ass in Israel was far sadder than this one so where was your outrage on that one?

"she just had a baby."
SO?
What does that have to do with shitting your pants? Most women are afraid to take a crap after giving birth. Maybe she took too many stool softers. If so, why would she walk further then five feet from a toilet.

Yeah, fat people need lovin' too.

I had to read the paragraph again.

I thought "She just had a baby" meant SHE JUST HAD A BABY!!

As in, right there on the astroturf next to the windmill.

Silly me.

I agree, CEP.

It's every American's God-given right to make fun of whomever they damn well choose; just like it's everyone's right to tell someone that's making fun of them to fuck off.

Even people who say they don't make fun of others can't say that they've never seen a fat person in one of those electric carts at Wal-Mart and thought to themselves "Gee, I wonder why they need THAT?"

It's a fact of life. People are going to make fun of other people. If you have a problem with being made fun of, don't go outside...you weirdo hermit that no one ever sees. I bet you're in there jerking off and talking to your toaster all day, aren't you?

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No no, honey. Kitties don't sit on the potty.

Everyone is right. And wrong.

YES, the article was judgemental and critical
YES the article was funny and perceptive
YES for "stories" to be funny, they also need to be edgy and sometimes hypercritical.
YES we all look at people in public and "critique" the way they look, etc.

Doniker seems to have an aversion to people who "jump" on other people, which i can respect.

Then again, the entire nature of this forum is about being totally honest, and especially anonymous.

So while I respect someone who defends both putt putt and fat people, I have to side with the author. He wrote the article entirely within his own selfish perspective:

-having to wait on a buncha fatties
-wondering why a new mom would be out like that
-not liking to see people get ridiculous out of shape.

While we're ragging on people for gratuitously ridiculing others, doniker, as the parent of a mentally challenged child, I take grave exception to your use of the the pejorative term "retards". Do you realize how painful that is to me? Can you even appreciate that when people use that term that they are referring to people like my son? Every time I hear or read that, it causes my heart to sink, my stomach to turn and my anger to well up. I want to reach out and smack the shit out of them.

But, then, I get over it. Well, usually. Mostly because it's not worth it. In part because there's probably nothing I can do about it anyway. Also because this is just what people do. Especially on this website.

I think Merc got it right about the "nature of this forum" and about the author writing from his own "selfish perspective". That's okay with me usually, because I like the frank manner of discussion that goes on around here. It's part of the charm and allure of this place. I like the brutal honesty here although I don't always like the brutality that sometimes come with it.

I recommend Kevlar Depends and a rag soaked in Eau de Toilette if you think that your sensibilities might be offended by what people have to say. It can get pretty hot and nasty around here.
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Yo quiero Taco Bell.

BTW, "mud wrestling a filthy kangaroo hyped up on crank" made me choke on my dried apple rings. Great expression.
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Yo quiero Taco Bell.

I liked the filthy Kangaroo comment. Tie me Kangaroo down sport, Tie me Kangaroo down! I had to read that paragraph again too GGG I thought she gave birth right there too. You know everyone there is ALWAYS a lesson to be learned from EACH of these reports no matter how mundane or lame or insulting they may be. Perhaps the lesson here is before you go to any kind of event after giving birth you should make sure your bowels are in control. For her to drop to the ground like that tells me she had NO control at all. I know if I had a problem along the bowel front I would definitely be taking test dumps at home before venturing out into society. Once again I think a very informative and entertaining story.
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

And if she gave birth THAT recently, where the hell was the baby?!? The excuse that it's post-partum bowel problems only flies for what, 3 weeks at the most? So this would be earlier than that.

Personally, I couldn't have left my beanies that early. But I don't think that really had anything to do with it; I think the other gal was just saying it to say SOMETHING.

GottaGoGirl - I was just about to ask the same question - where the hell is this "so-new-baby-that-i'm-still-shitting-myself-baby"? - AND, Um, I could be wrong here, but if she had to go THAT bad, or actually did "lose control", why is she writhing around on the ground AFTER? (I usually writhe PRIOR to hershey squirts). Just a thought.

-Torpy

"I like the brutal honesty here although I don't always like the brutality that sometimes come with it." pretty much says it all.

Note to go anal retentive, but in looking at that story objectively:

-He only called those women FAT, and it wasnt like he named names. It was anonymous. The other stuff mentioned (slow, talking on cel phones) would have annoyed virtually anyone.

-All forms of comedy have an element of cruelty to them. Its just that the targets of those routines are politically correct: these days its NOT okay to insult gays, fat people, transgendered freaks, or soccer kids.

-It IS ok to insult men in general, whites, conservatives, stupid people (not challenged, but i mean inarticulate people), or southerners.

--Doniker and Dejapoo made us think about how comedy HURTS people, but if it done anonymously i dont think it qualifies as hate speech.

It just strikes me that Mickey is the kind of person that thinks he is better then everyone and constantly insults anyone and anything that isn't "cool" in his mind.

I have always disliked this type of person and realize that they only act this way because they are either heartless bastards or are hiding the fact that they are being or have been verbally or physically abused and are only taking out there anger on others.

I have no use for this type of person.

I'm with you on the "thinks he is better and constantly insults"

My senior year in high school was an eye opener, because i went from being big man on campus to an absolute nobody at a new school.

I came to "hate" the type of people you are describing, and also was able to see that I was one of those people myself before.

But I see a difference. That guy was basically blowing off steam. But let me ask you a personal question Doniker.

Do YOU sometimes THINK the way that guy does? And not express it?

I know I do. Yeah, I could be at Wal Mart and think "what a fat bitch". Or "what is that knockout doing with that dork"?

But I only think it. I dont ever say it, and i wouldnt want to hurt someones feelings.

On the other hand, the guy was trying to tell a funny story. Have you ever laughed at a joke that was told at someone elses expense?

I dont see the difference then, in your laughing, and that guy THINKING it.

that was a very funny story!!
Although I was kind of annoyed at the lack of respect that you showed to those people.......

Maybe this tale would have been funnier had the craptastrophy happened to the author instead of the new mom who was slowing him down.

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

This made me laugh hysterically, and then, in retrospect feel like complete swine.

FWIW, I don't think doniker deserved to lose a point for his first comment on this thread. (Edit 7/30: and he got it back, later). Just my opinion. I know, everyone has one.

shitwit (253) -- 07.26.2007 wrote: "Maybe this tale would have been funnier had the craptastrophy happened to the author instead of the new mom who was slowing him down."

Ooooh! Sl-a-m.

And Anon Cow, you cracked me up, right there.

What does "a grown college man" mean? Intellectually, or with wisdom, or life experience? Never met one. Yeah, some are big and can threaten you but otherwise... c'mon!

What's so funny 'bout poop, love, and understanding?

ok, the only question i haven't seen asked yet, is why the hell was she wearing white pants???

You did not need to mention the women were "fat" fat or skinny everybody shits!

But what I don't get is why did'nt she try to make a made dash for the shitter if she had to take a plopper?

HarryPooper, maybe she was having a hard time getting her ball past the windmill and vowed to not give up no matter what?

Dodger, I didn't think it was possible to choke on ravioli, but you just made me do it.

Now THAT'S a competitive gal!

Artful Dodger women in white pants know better I think she had a nuclear maeltdown in her pants.

HarryPooper(5) -- 07.27.2007
I think she had a nuclear maeltdown in her pants.

Given the description of her girth, was it Three Mile Island?

I'm siding with Doniker. Reports on personal catastrophe are always much more interesting than mean spirited second hand accounts of someone else's disaster. One can only hope that some day Mickey will have his own brown story of humiliation to tell.

im not gonna touch the issues raised on this post but i am going to say how much i enjoy miniture golf. have a few drinks and go fuck with a windmill for 45 minutes. good times man, good times

btw i got a hunch that her friend said the baby thing just to cover for her cuz wut kinda mom leaves her newborn at home in the first few weeks so she can lug around with her g/f's and play mini golf? i dont buy it, but then, i dont care. i just love any story where someone in white pants shits themselves

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oh man, i feel soo much better. i think i lost a few pounds... dont even think about going in there for at least 20-30 minutes. dont worry, i left the fan on.

I was a swimmer, too, like the author. Competed for 10 years and did quite well. Set quite a few pool records. And yet, I still enjoy putt putt because not everyone is athletic or a swimmer. Mickey, you kind of sound like a snob.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Let`s face it, this was a pretty funny situation that brightened up a tediously slow round of miniature golf

And any one who knows that they are prone to shitting themselves with no warning, and deliberately wears white pants, deserves all the ridicule they get - and being a fat overweight bloater just adds the icing to the cake.

Where's Mickey to defend himself??? You doods and doodettes r raggin on him and he's not even here to stand up for himself!

I have to disagree that second-hand witness stories aren't funny. Sure, I'll agree that it's usually funnier when it happens to the authr. However, eyewitness accounts can be pretty funny as well.

Even third-hand/hearsay stories can be funny. They're usually just not as funny as the first-hand accounts.
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Yo quiero Taco Bell.

odd thing happening i dont think ur being mean saying there fat ur just saying what they were would these people feel harassed if u said they were good looking no see ur just saying what they were and as for shitting after giving birth never heard of it but hey maybe its some side effect

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i have met many people that talk like asses i have not however met many asses that talk like people

never heard of such a thing happening funny though i can believe it
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i have met many people that talk like asses but i have not met many asses that talk like people

Doniker, you are entitled to your opinion but in this case your opinion is wrong. That story was classic, hysterical and a shit load of laughs!

donicker, you are just upset because you took your daughter put putting, which by the way is a retard sport grow up a little bit. this was just a little story, it's not like he gave out names. get off his back. fat people are fat because they choose to be fat. I am overweight and its my own damn fault i eat too much junk just like every other fat person in the world. there are no excuses so shut the heck up

Hey- fat's something you do to yourself, so I wouldn't think it was all that unfair of a description. Plus- it's only human to take joy in the misfortune of those who inconvenience you!