so am I to assume you are a man and you hung out in your wife's hospital room shitting yourself?

That`s shockingly poor self control Komrade Trotsky, worthy of an ice-pick in the back of the neck.

Good one, Leon. Very good, but I hope you don't expect any of us to believe it.

Sympathy (with reservations) to you Leon on your butterscotch download. The reservation being: didn't the room have a damn TOILET in it? C'mon, man...to just stand there with ass-drool draining out of your pants-leg(s)???

Just be glad the OB didn't decide to do a c-section or a forcep delivery on you.
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Yo quiero Taco Bell.

FP, Your response post was funnier than the story. Thanks for the chuckle.
Producing waste since 1967

Wow, I guess I assumed correctly.

I don't know what to say; if this story is real you are really gross, have no respect for yourself or others, and have no self control. I could understand one accident but you kept shitting yourself the whole time? Impossible.

Ahhhhh Im a little out of it here uhhhhh the DAD crapped his pants?! If my mind serves me correctly isnt there a BATHROOM in these birthing rooms? I mean come on, yeah its humorous true, but Jesus man, have some control of the shituation. I know in this case if it were me I would be off to the toilet toot sweet sorry honey you may have to push alone for awhile while I do some birthing of my own.
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

I'll ask... What did you name the lil' shit???

Brown Eye-van? Stool-in? Arse-nios?

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You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....

This story is fake! What kind of guy has "the other hole"? It starts out as a woman and turns into a man. I'm not buying it.

I have to admit, after reading all of that, I laughed pretty hard at the punch line, and the imagery of a man shitting himself in front of family and crying while the nurses cleaned him up. I think we were reading a little poo fiction...:)br>_______
Assaulting toilets since 1977!

You pooped in front of you baby mama and evryone else? U huh. yep. nk.
Funny story fiction or not.

after reading these stories..I sure am glad I was born a man.

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The Brownfish hides in random gas station bathrooms, in wait... to unleash its fury upon the bowels of your underside.

I think it WAS the mother the whole time.
They were just trying to be funny at the end with "I was a father"

I try to be positive when commenting on most stories or say nothing at all. With this is mind,

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

I don't get it. Is it supposed to be a parody of a man giving birth?

I... just don't get it. Sorry.

Below standard. Not good.

Right on, Daphne! After giving birth recently to baby #2 I'm afraid I'm a little too "sore" about this topic to even begin crtitquing this brown tale.

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

CEP and G3: I also suspect this is supposed to be some kind of "play" on the birthing idea.
Upset, confused, excited, nervous - all would be expected states of mind for a prospective father...but to just stand there and unload??
Doesn't ring true for me.

Leon, I dunno about the story...but I've stored "bung dumplings" in my poop repertoire for future use.

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No no, honey. Kitties don't sit on the potty.

I loved it. Regardless of whether Leon is a man or a woman, the description of the poo is fantastic..."butterscotch colored silly string."

Plus, it's hilarious that the Grandma, Leon's mother, walks in and says "Well, isn't this a picture?" And then, good ol' Leon lets out with some "party favors" of her own. Very funny.

so you, the father, sat watching your wife have a baby pooping your self. or r u trying to say that u, being a male, accomplished the impossible by have a baby?

corny turd, r u an anus and is ur cap lock key busted?

he was about the same weight as his gooey twin that came out the other hole. But we were only taking one home that day.

This had my ROFLOL

In the end, it was all worth it. I was finally a father!

Screw you, all who boo this man! You've obviously never been an expecting father, nor watched a child come into this world.

I have, and Mr. Trotsky, GOOD FOR YOU for standing by your wife in her time of need, instead of running away like a sissy.

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the Pirate Master Rot Bottom.

The people who left comments on this post are apparently way too literal to enjoy a humor website. I thought this was brilliant.

AC: after reading dozens of stories on PR, one develops a bit of a discriminating palate, so to speak. You're right - the story IS funny...great mental images. However, probing the subtext of any story does not dismiss the humor.

I have been unable to visit poopreport lately and this is the first story i have read in many weeks now i know why i didn't really miss it

I have a couple of bits of advice for you, Pincher:
1) Don't judge the overall quality of this fine site based on one story "in many weeks". Dave posts the best of what he gets, and sometimes the "floaters" are few and far between.
2) if you follow (1) and are still unhappy, uhh - save the keystrokes (and PR's main page "real estate") and stay away. Adios, amigo.

You assumed it was about a woman. You also assumed he was talking about himself when he mentioned the contractions. Read between the lines, people.
The fact is, many fathers get nervous upset stomachs and have their own accidents before, during, or after birth! I know of a couple unfortunate guys myself! Shit happens!