A Close Call At Band Camp

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During my sophomore year of high school, I was in our marching band. We always went to Estes Park for about four days to learn our fall show music and drill. I was stuck rooming with the trumpet, clarinet, flute, and color guard section leaders, along with another girl in the guard.

In the middle of the second night, I woke up early and couldn't figure out why. I thought that I was just the first one up again, but as I looked out the window I realized that was not the case. It was still dark.

When I laid back down I knew right away what was wrong: I had to take a shit if I wanted to go back to sleep. As quietly as I could, I got off the top bunk, grabbed my iPod, and went into the bathroom. At four-thirty in the morning, I knew that I'd have to have something to make this go quickly, so what better to do than get onto Poop Report, which always seems to make me go faster?

After about ten minutes a giant turd plopped into the toilet. I quickly wiped and went to flush it, but it would not die. Before the toilet emptied, the turd stopped dead. Great. The toilet was clogged and there was no plunger to be found. I was too tired to look for someone to unclog this bitch, so I got out of there as quickly and quietly as possible.

I slept like a baby until I was woken up. My first thought was "Oh shit, the toilet didn't fix itself as they sometimes do, and everyone knows it was me." But this was not so. It turns out I had just overslept. I don't know if the toilet was every fixed, or if anyone ever found out I did it. Lucky for me.

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5 Comments on "A Close Call At Band Camp"

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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Schools waste money these days. I played in the marching band in high school back in the 1950s and there was no such thing as band camp. Two weeks before school started all we band members started going to school for two hours each day. That was the same schedule we would be on for the whole year, two hours per day, marching band members were excused from PE but we got a good workout anyway.

We provided our own transportation to and from school and were not fed or housed at school expense. We learned our routines well enough that we always took top honors in statewide competition.

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

the thin brown line's picture
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Chief,
band camp was one of the more enjoyable escapades in my band career. this was in 1984. we (students) fundraised everything. going to a mountain setting was a nice departure from our school environment. as for two hour sessions, we started at "zero period" -7 a.m.) and had a two hour practice session. so, i must disagree with you on this instance that schools waste money on something like this. for many kids, this is their first and only adventure away from home.

Somethin' mysterious made an exit from the gift shop.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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tbbl, even without band camp we had band adventures back in the 50s, they were just a lot cheaper. When our football team played Memphis, 200 miles away, we would divide up and spend the night with the family of a Memphis band member. When Memphis was in town we would provide their band members with the same service.

When we played Oak Ridge we traveled there by train. It was not pulled by a diesel locomotive but rather by a coal burning steam locomotive. I can think of no greater adventure when I was a kid than traveling by one of these smoke and cinder spewing behemoths, although they were probably not environmentally sound by today's standards.

Band camp would probably have been anti-climatic on top of all out other joys.

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous's picture
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Did KC Jones drive the train?

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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Yes Anonymous, and the spikes that held the rails to the cross ties were driven by none other than John Henry, the steel driving man!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!