My First Memory Of Poop

Ditto

OK, smearing human shit on peoples clothes, walls and toy boxes isn't gross in some parallel universe. Give me my point back.

C Everett-- Of course it's gross, you silly man. It's vile and disgusting. But in the context of Grogan being a little boy and doing something goofy, it was funny! As a mom, I've been the victim of "turd terror" many a time! You want to vomit at the time, but it's a funny story with which to humiliate your children when they're teenagers and their friends come over. Damn! Do I have to explain EVERYTHING? :P

I used to spend a lot of time wearing just my tighty whiteys when I was little. I don't expressly remember pooping in them except for one time. My mom tells me I used to hide in corners and poop when I was just out of diapers. I don't know when I started, but I used to hold it all the time, and I would always get really bad skidmarks. To this day I still hold it, but no more marks.

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If your stinker likes to linger, please be nice and flush it twice.

There are several reasons I don't want any kids, this included. I still remember what an annoying little rascal I was, and I don't have the patience now to live with younger me. Therefore, no kids. I just want a wife and cats. Hopefully I can find a girl who feels the same, and we and our cats can live happily ever after.

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If your stinker likes to linger, please be nice and flush it twice.

Awesome!!!!!!.........Of course I love it, as any fur that's ruined is a good thing to me. Alot of people don't know this, but there is fur lining on items in this country that actually came from dogs. They're beaten and skinned. Not that any animal is acceptable to skin for its fur unless you're eating the entire thing, but to think that one doesn't know where the fur came from is chilling to me as a bunnyhugger. I feel bad for your mom in that she probably didn't think of the cruelty issues (who did back then) and the fur jacket was, I'm sure, one of her nicest things. It's just my nature to shudder at fur lining, jackets, and all that. Even rabbit fur. I've read about these "rabbit farms" that raise them for food and fur, and they aren't treated very well at all. No one wants to talk about the living conditions of livestock.....I digress.....pardon the rant.....

my first memory of a "poop-related incident" happened in our bathroom when I was four years old.

I shat in the tub. I seem to remember that it just came out and I wasn't prepared for it. Afraid of telling my mom, I sat there, wondering what to do. What I ended up doing is more than weird.....I rememember looking at all these little pieces of poop and, while terrified of telling my parents, began to imagine the poop was a family of octopusses, or octopi. Yeah, I did. "Uh, that's the ticket. They're, they're, octo-pusses! Yeah, that's it....And I'm the....octopus president, matter of fact, I INVENTED them....."

Don't ask me. I don't know either. I need a tune up and an oil change.

Well, there I was, in a poop soup, lost in a cephalapod-related haze, when my mom came in and went slightly medieval on me, yelling and yanking me out of the tub and drawing a new bath.

Looking back on it, I am constantly reminded to not get mad at my children when they spill things or throw up in bed because they're sick or break things out of pure accident.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Double Flush and Grogan, nice to see some compassion up in the hizzouse.

And I just quit PETA after 12 years of faithful service because of their alarmingly low rescue and adopt pet percentages. 13 percent get adopted out, 87 get euthanized. Gator would be dead meat were he to get loose and taken to a PETA office because of his breed.

I can't deal with that.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

my first memory of pooping is from when i lived at my memes house. she would always give my brother and i a raisen cookie while we were on the toilet. it freaks me out that my grandmother encouraged eating while shitting, but those were good cookies. i should ask her where she used to get them.

this one time, while my boyfriend and i were house sitting in arizona, we hit a rabbit on the way home, and took it home to skin and eat. it tasted like turkey. it was fuckin rad. it gave us the worst farts in the universe though- those hot wet ones that smell as bad as they feel. i made a small bag out of the skin.

Little kids do the strangest things with their poop. Especially when they are old enough to know they shouldn't have certain embarassing situations happen, yet too young to know what to do about it.

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Clones are people, two.

I remember once standing around for three hours with a brown potato in my undies because I was too embarassed to tell anyone I shit my pants.

*groan* Kids!

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Clones are people, two.

I submitted my other kid blunder to Dave. Perhaps it will be published. It was just too long to post here.

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Clones are people, two.

"...this one time, while my boyfriend and i were house sitting in arizona, we hit a rabbit on the way home, and took it home to skin and eat. it tasted like turkey. it was fuckin rad. it gave us the worst farts in the universe though- those hot wet ones that smell as bad as they feel. i made a small bag out of the skin..."

Wait. You ate roadkill? Roadkill.

Granted, it was your own kill, but the road part is what gets me.

Bumper Bunny
Road Racoon
Tire Turkey
Van Venison
Dodge Deer
Asphalt Antipasto
Michelin Moose
Pothole Opossum

You could always start them young on the joys and wonders of a cool refreshing bidet, or at the very least, the paper.

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I go to www.sloanvalve.com and drool over it.

great story Grogan it reminds me of the time when my older brother was 8 and I was 5 I had shit in my room and left it there when my older brother came in my room and saw the huge log he freaked and was about to tell my mom and dad until I begged him not to so he didnt then I was lazy enough to leave it there and when my mom came in my room she saw it she didnt care she said mistakes happen but I was still very embarrised at that time I wished I had A younger brother or sister to blame it on because I could not blame it on my older brother but I only have my older brother.

This just in from June Cleaver: Hello, Poop Report! I would like to say that Wally and the Beav were very, very bad boys when they were little. Once, the Beav pooped on my string of pearls, which I had inadvertently left on the bathroom counter whilst cleaning it to within an inch of its spotless life.

For this trangression, the Beav was not allowed to have dessert for a month. I also had my pearls professionally cleaned and took it out of the Beav's allowance.

Thank you all for listening. I must now go clean my dentures!

Yep.

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Sometimes it just takes two.

TBW, the most obscene thing ever said on television was, "Ward, weren't you a little hard on the Beaver last night?"

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Send all your money to Bilgepump, or to Dave!

I have previously mentioned the time that Hermione asked me if I would like her tulips on my organ. When I said that I would prefer them on the piano, she burst into tears and ran out of the room.

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Send all your money to Bilgepump, or to Dave!

I could do with a little bit more info on how badly you got in trouble after spreading the love all over the house. I was waiting for your mom to blow her top, and maybe something else down south.

That doesn't sound like too bad a punishment (from an abuse or overkill standpoint), and it sounds like it was enough to get into your head. That's the point anyway, right? And no, making car sounds is not quiet. I had that same problem, heh heh.

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I'm the only geek I know who has to flush twice. Or who clicks on links in people's sigs.

Slightly-- You sound like someone we'd all like to get to know better!

If you DOO have any poop stories, please consider registering and TELL!

My first memory of poop was a bathtub tale. I was 4 or so, and taking a bath, when I had to poo. I simply reached behind and caught the warm log as it emerged. Then I proudly held up my trophy, saying, "I caught it out!!"

Poop on!

-Poopgirl

Don't be so uptight about being "gross." None of us care if you just let it all out. Smells like a good poop story to me.

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"Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus

omg i literally loughed out loud reading that story. when my brother was 5 he also wiped poo on the wall.... but thats another story

Some 60 years ago when I was in elementary school for reasons which I still do not know I refused to crap in the school toilets; I simply shit in my pants and eventually went or got sent home where someone would clean me up. Is this phobia about using public toilets some crappy kind of genetic inheritance?? But somehow I got over it, though today it takes a might pressure to get me to use public toilets. Is the phobia about using public crappers a professionally defined psychological "disease"? If so, what's the treatment?

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Believe in the joy of shitting!

One of my earliest shit memories was when I was about 3 years old. I was potty trained already but somehow I didn't get to the bathroom by the time the brown monster made an appearance. I was sitting on the couch watching Sesame Street and my mom came out of the bathroom and must have known what I was dooing. She yelled at me to stand up. I did. A big dark turd rolled out of my shorts and onto the floor! She was furious, to say the least.

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Brown tidings I bring
to you
from my ring

Hilarious story Grogan! Kids do the craziest things. I remember when I was about 6 we used to go to our cottage and there was a kid a few places down who I used to play with. One rainy day we were up in his room which was in the attic and rather than walking downstairs to go pee he just pissed in the corner which was just supported by ceiling tiles. I was shocked but he thought nothing of it and we continued to play. Every year I'd see him do this a couple of times until I was about 10, then I thought it was pretty gross and the whole cottage took on an air of stale pee, how his parents didn't figure it out I'll never know.

Anyways, years later his parents put the cottage up for sale and my Mom said "I'll really miss having Betty up there, but they really need to do something about that smell if they want to sell the place". I told my mom the story of Davy peeing in the corner and she laughed and said "I better call her and let her know". I was shocked she'd do this but my mom and Betty were really close.

Years later at my moms funeral I saw Davy for the first time in 20 years and the first thing he said to me was "Why did you have to go and tell your mom that". It was very funny. Davy is now a hugely successful forensic accountant.

A judicial bean counter.
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Always looking out for number two!

mine was pooping in my dad's shoes and hiding it in the closet

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juicyturds

I know when I was little more than a baby - in pullups - if I was hit by the urge to do the doo I would always try to resist. Even the hundredth time it happened, when my "tummy" went into spasms I always regarded it as something troublesome and abnormal that I should try to prevent from happening. Probably because my mother would say "you don't half pong!" as she escorted me to the bathroom to be cleaned up - which implied that discharging excrement is misbehaviour.
The sensation of freshly formed doodoo sliding into my pants is vividly imprinted in my mind because I associate it with that Charles Aznavour song "Let Yourself Go" - when I began to have constipation problems my mother would sing a customised version of that to remind me I should change my attitude to my bowel movements. (What a pity I can't remember what her lyrics were...)

Is Double Flush going for the lame comment record?
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Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan
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