Gah! That's every girl's worst nightmare, right there. You lived it, you poor thing!

No one ever said anything to you about it? Wow, you lucked out.

Oh, and I'd say that you didn't panic at all! Good thinking on holding up the float ball, even if it was too little, too late.

Good story!
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Hey! Don't touch my wenis!

I am so glad I am a guy. One thing I dont have to worry about is "flo". I've heared women tell horror stories about their time. But a teenage girl in this situation, wow. Gratz on getting out of that scenario. Somewhere there is a boy being blamed for that! :)

Gah! As if it's not enough that these poor trailer denizens must live in constant fear of hurricanes, tornadoes and in-breeding. Now, they also have to worry about Turd Terrorism. Quick! Somebody call the Department of Homeland Security.

BTW, when Auntie Flo visits my wife, she suffers from constipation, not diarrhea. If we could just find some way to merge your experience with my wife's, we should be able to produce some kind of regularity during the menstrual cycle ...either that or a shit-storm of epic proportions.
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Deja Poo - Because this shit's so strange, it couldn't ever have happened before.

So, has therapy helped?

Wow that was embarassing I am sure. It is not good though to attempt to hold that kind of thing in cripes it could have made for a category 5 poopicane.
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

Good job on getting away with it! We have to thanks the sports gods for the cover the game provided you.

I know you were young at the time, but didn't anyone tell you not to flush tampons? Especially in such an ailing toilet? Now you can add a third vow to the lessons you learned the hard way that day! :)

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'Hey that sounds pretty nasty, how about a courtesy flush over there?' (AP1)

Well I'm off to have my memory erased...

Thankyou after this story i know why tigers eat there young - to weed out the dumbfucks!

So why didn't your mom eat you?

Oooh. Burn on the Anon Cow. Go AAP, Go AAP!
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Hey! Don't touch my wenis!

Anon Cow--actually male tigers feed on young nursing cubs in order to make the female receptive to breeding. But, I guess you have to be a "dumbfuck" to know that. :) You're welcome anyway.

BTW--I would've have been mortified had anyone ever confronted me. I was already mortified by the thought of what they would walk into. Thankfully, it never came up.

Toots--I definitely learned the lesson the hard way--out of sheer paranoia I no longer flush my tampons. ;)

I don't get the AC comments-- Huh? The only reason I can guess for dumbfuckery would be to go on a blind date with someone who lives in a trailer? But even then, they could be wonderful people.... At least she had the smarts to fiddle with the float and stop the slurry from going over the rim!

I know I commented on the tmapon thing, but, really, if it WAS her tampon causing the problem, wouldn't it be stuck somewhere out of view? I was just surprised no one had told a 14 year old that vital female info.

Anyway, that's not my point: The more I think of it, the football game was the best thing (besides an empty trailer) that you, Queen of the Throne, could have hoped for! Not only was there the sound muffle of multiple fans' voices to cover any ass-explosion noise, but also of not paying attention to WHO was in the bathroom WHEN and for HOW LONG. Also, all those distractions with a bunch of people drinking and eating all manner of junk, they probably ended up with a game of "whodunnit" way after you fled the scene. :)

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'Hey that sounds pretty nasty, how about a courtesy flush over there?' (AP1)

well, being a blind date--I wasn't sure of what I was getting into--which is reason for vow #2--say "no" once in awhile. And, yes...thank GOD for the football game. That may be the reason they didn't address the issue...due to the blame game and I was far from the scene by that point. :) nevertheless, it was definitely an experience I hope to never live through again. :) :)

That must have been a bad situation to be in! Next time, I'd wrap up the tampon and throw it in the trash to cover up that you're on the rag. Maybe you should of flushed mid shit and not use 1/2 roll of tp. That probably would of helped. I hate using toilets that I don't know how they'll flush when taking a #2 and/or on the rag. Some toilets will take the abuse while other won't. Those low flow toilets don't work for flushing big, solid turds.

Gross. And not funny.

What you do in this situation is you reach inside the toilet and unclog it by hand. Its only poop, and its your poop to boot, so there's no need to be sqeumish. You have to scrub your hands really throughly afterwards, though, as that poop smell kind of gets into your skin.

I see the Turd Terrorism point of view, but not entirely.

As a result of being a PR member, I have taken a much more proactive and conscientious approach to have I have my bathroom set up.

I have added easy and noticeable access to the following pooping essentials:
Plunger, garbage can (with a lid), baby wipes, disinfecting wipes, Lysol (we don't have a fan), and toilet paper.
Everything is neatly stored in plain sight, just in case anyone needs it.

I wish everyone cared about poop (and feelng comfortable about doing it away from home) as much as I doo.

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It's YOUR cat, YOU get his poop out of my sink!

Sounds like you've got the essentials covered, Mary. Might I suggest the addition of a log chopper, for our girth-enhanced compadres? A little choppin' sure beats moppin'.

I am a male stripper,27 yrs. old, 6 ft. and 180 pounds. I perform usually at private functions including birthday parties. I have had some interesting experiences but one in particular stands out in my mind. I was performing at a batchelorete party and had been constipated for several days. I'm usually quite regular and eat a high fiber diet, so my bowel movements are very large. I was performing a lap dance for one of the bridesmaids. I was clad in the skimpiest of g-strings and my buns were just inches from her face when I accidentally let out a HUGE fart! I felt terrible, but she was a good sport about it and all the ladies got a good laugh from it. But now my bowels were starting to rumble and I really had to shit. I knew that I would never make it to the bathroom, so I grabbed a large empty bowl from the table. I said that I was constipated and I couldn't hold it anymore. I squatted over the bowl, rippin 4 or 5 large farts. An enormous turd exited my rectum and landed in the bowl with a wet plop. It curled around the bottom of the bowl. the pungent smell of my feces and farts filled the room. Several more large farts followed and then another turd, this one much bigger around but shorter. I topped it off with acouple of really huge farts and a load of wet and messy shit. In all, there was at least 3 feet of shit and at least 3 pounds in weight. The ladies were all impressed and enjoyed my spontaneous performance.

WOW! Poopiehead, you were literally full of shit. ;)

So, Poopiehead, I guess that you earned a really big tip on that one!

Yes, I think they tipped me about $150. Now the lady I farted on is my fiance! I still fart and poop for her and her friends every couple of months or so. I'll share more poop stories later.

Mary-Q of S, you've got an awesome approach! Way to *eliminate* any anxiety a pooper in peril may need in your home (as well as spare your sanctuary any undoo horror!) and Fudgepump, your motto rocks! : A little choppin' sure beats moppin'. That's hiLARious! Reminds me of a sign hung up in an acquaintance's bathroom years ago: "If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seat-y."

Although I must say, Poopiehead92862, I was skeptical of (and a little confused by) your story/comments-- if this shit is for real, please submit a story so I can stand corrected by thinking your comments are BS! You'd have to be damn hot to shit a three decker + blow gas and get a fiance out of the deal (not to mention NOT get a "lame comment" tag, i.e. "fetishit" tag from the crack PR editors!)
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'Hey that sounds pretty nasty, how about a courtesy flush over there?' (AP1)

I thought male tigers, like male lions, only ate the young of a pack because they were from the former alpha male, and eating them was their way of preserving only their genes. I didn't think it ever had anything to do with them being able to fuck more.

This is interesting. Thank you.

As to the story, wow. How freaking socially devastating. I am sorry this happened to you. I can only say.......Courtesy flush. Courtesy flush. Courtesy flush. It may have sounded like you were playing with the toilet, but it may have saved you from leaving. You could have said the lever stuck.

My heart goes out to you sincerely.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

I don't know how hot I am, but when you've gotta go, you've gotta go. As for my fiance, she called me after a month or so. She told me she thought it was cool that I had no inhibitions about pooping in front of strangers. I said that it was a necessity to do what I did. We started dating and the rest is history.

Quick note on infanticide Daphne (and anyone else who cares to learn about animal/mammal behaviour--don't know as much about non-mammal practices)-- many species have been known to do it although not often, and yes, it serves a dual purpose. First, a male killing others' offspring effectively gets rid of a conspecific's genes, but also, while a female is lactating, she is not receptive and cycling. By killing her helpless babies early, she will go into heat and be able to bear young again sooner (in theory, with *them*-- can't say it goes over too well with humans, tho'!) rather than if she had reared them far enough to be weined and become fertile again in a natural time-span. Like I said, many species have been known to do this, but I don't know about actually *eating* the body (except in the one psychotic anomaly case of Passion and Pom, a mother-daughter pair of Chimps in Gombe, who seemed to have no reason to do such a thing. Jane Goodall is still scratching her head on that one), but male lions do not hunt, so maybe it's just easy access to tender meat at that point.

Ah, a nice segue there to address Poopiehead 92862 (ha-ha ;) All I can say is "WOW". I think you AND your fiance should collaborate on a two point-of-view story for the front page! That would be hilarious! We just got Old Iron Sides' sweet, endearing account on how his shituation spurred along his budding but now long-time romance and then we got you with your "steamier" version of a love story that had bowels as a key character! :) Do tell!!!!

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'Hey that sounds pretty nasty, how about a courtesy flush over there?' (AP1)

It's the flapper valve that stops the water from filling the bowl, the float only controls the filling of the tank which fills the bowl and so on and so on

I am the fiance! I just thought he looked so cute and embarrassed (bare assed) standing there after his accidental passing of wind (big and stinky). He had a nice butt and legs, too, so that didn't hurt! I've always thought that farts and poop were funny, so this was a memorable evening. He does poop really HUGE turds and he often lets me watch!

I have also read about chimps, especially the young males in a group, stealing a baby from a female and tearing it limb from limb,a and then eating it. Two theories of thought arise from this.
1.) Usually the female is new from another group, and this is the way the new group prevents the possibility that she is delivering a baby from the old group.
2.) The other time it happens is with females who stray too close to the borders of their territory, again, and they kill the baby again to prevent a group member that may be from the other tribe.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

I'm in shock!!!!!!!!! I'm with the rest of you I think shit stories and farts are funny but poopieheads comment about strippin, thats just wrong shitting in a bowl FFS. I know you really are full of shit.

While I don't completely doubt it, Daphne, I haven't heard that--- I think those incidences are as rare (or even more rare) than it happens with humans. Ok, not *eating* flesh, but how much infancide/abuse do human males have a hand in? Or is this data from lab situation "commuities" ?--of which I admittantly know nothing about. But, like I said, I don't doubt it-- please tell me where I can learn more about this!
(OK.... We've wandered off topic....)

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'Hey that sounds pretty nasty, how about a courtesy flush over there?' (AP1)

That was hilarious I laughed so hard I was in tears,it now has givin me a fealing im going to erupt.I will write a store about it if its worthy.

That was a very funny story and one I can relate to. I still won't take a dump anywhere near where my husband is. Usually if you know it's going to be loud use some wadded up toilet paper and put it over your batoot and it muffles the sound. It works everytime.

But... but... if you MUFFLE it, how will your husband know to GO AWAY?!?

If GottaMan hears bathroom noises, he knows to leave me to my privacy.

If I covered up the sounds, he'd probably barge in there and start asking me about the checkbook or something.

I'd tell him to make sure we have plenty of air freshener and that I own the bathroom for the moment. You're already suffering, it's best just to get it over with ASAP.

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puckered up
QueenOfTheThrone,I was just thinking what it would be like if you and poopiehead92862 had a blind date?.Flo and go and a bowl of shit no need for candles when one of our farts could be lit

See, this is where you fell down. The toilet was already an abuse victim with a lot of baggage to carry. After all the mental and physical scars, here you come, set your ass down, and squeeze out another long. AND THEN drop in your bloody tampon on top of it. You KNOW toilets hate tampons, yet you expected this poor commode to swallow your cherry pop. Not gonna happen! A Friend would be horrified at this obvious case of toilet abuse, if he weren't off in the Sudan freeing enslaved Totos.

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Born right the first time.

QOT said that Flo's visits produced bouts of diarrhea. How would diarrhea clog a toilet unless too much tissue was used which begs the question, what were you doing, drying off after a bath?

Stripper's story makes me wonder why a male stripper would let that extra poop accumulate and ruin a nice flat tummy. If a professional stripper got stopped up and had an engagement, a supository the day before could be used to move things along and allow time for things to settle down. Rigorous physical activity of any kind is going to start things moving. Why risk your reputation by going out on a job with a backed up colon? If a performer's license or even a business license is required in your area, a complaint from an offended guest could have resulted in your license being revoked and possibly charges of gross public indecency filed against you. It seems like you could have grabbed the bowl and tried to make it to another room or a closet or something, holding it over your butt as you made a hasty exit.

Something more than the obvious smells about both stories.