Though crapping yourself is a routine story, this one is different and I like it, and it's a great first story. Welcome to poopreport!

On the buses on my high school, anything left on the seats would have stayed there. The buses were swept out everyday, but anything not on the floor was left where it was. My favorite seat on the bus was the one right by the door; I'm not sure why. I do remember though that it allowed me a little more room for my long legs. Once I turned 16, I drove and have never ridden a school bus since. But some crazy things happen on NCSU's Wolfline buses (like a city bus system but for campus).

Not a poop story, but I remember in 5th grade I peed myself and then had to ride the bus home. Luckily I was able to hide it with a shirt tied around my waist, but I still left a wet spot on the bus. For those of you who do the forum thing, I'll make a short PeeReport out of this.

Again, welcome to poopreport, girls dont poo.

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"Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus

girls dont poo, i totally enjoyed this story. You shouldn't feel too bad about what happened though, because as a former school bus driver I can tell you that we know shit happens on occasion and you couldn't help it. And as a person that used to suffer with horrible bouts of IBS and the intense need to go at the most inappropriate times, I totally feel your pain. But trust me, just by saying thank you to your driver every day as you were getting off the bus was more than enough to earn her sympathy and understanding. Great story!

It seems like just about every other story on this site includes some variation on the phrase, "I thought if I could just ease off a little pressure, everything would be fine," followed by a description of the disastrous results.

People! Wake up! There is no such thing as safely letting off a little pressure. It always ends badly. This seems to be a lesson each needs to learn for him or herself.

But now that we've learned it, I implore you parents out there: Teach your kids this simple fact of life during potty training. Have them repeat the mantra, "There is no safety valve, there is no safety valve." Please, save your children the humiliation suffered by poor Girls Don't Poo. Don't make them learn this lesson through painful experience.

The bus driver knew it was you, and has never forgotten it. She probably mentions it to her grandchildren while she's complaining about those snotty private school kids.

Welcome to Poop Report! "...I pooed on the bu-uh-usss..." Very funny; I have kids, and that's JUST how they'd say it!

"...Have them repeat the mantra, 'There is no safety valve, there is no safety valve.'..." This cracked me up, too. That would be a good PR moniker: "NoSafetyValve".
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Fecal Matters.

Speaking of safety valves: after more than three and a half years of observation, I think people with IBS and Crohn's, etc. are the ones most helped by a site like PR. In various articles and threads throughout the site and over the years, IBS sufferers in particular seem to be breathing a sigh of relief that they have a place they can come to and talk about their condition without being judged or having people throw the infamous 'too much information' phrase at them.

For this alone, PR is the info bargain of the Internet.

I would think that if Crohns/IBS are as bad as everyone says, they would just wear depends all the time.

Good story and screen name Girls Don't Poo

Go thy way, child, and sin no more. On second thought, better say 150 Hail Daves.

This story triggered memories or diesel fuel fumes. What a liberation it was turning 16, getting a driver's license and no longer riding the school bus.

I know exactly how the nerdy guy felt. These days it's not the nerdy kids who you acuse of farting, it's the fat kids (middle school is the worst!).

Like the story, because I can relate. I've had a few episodes like that....

You can always find out if she's still alive, you know. The internet is an amazing research and detective tool. Find out who she was and anonymously send her cookies or candy in the mail, a small bouquet, a coupon for a local restaurant.

I still have one person left on my "I own him good things" karma list because I have books of his. They would be too expensive to mail, but I have been saving up some money to send him in the form of Barnes and Noble gift certificates. Then, my karmic slate should be clean.

That show "My Name is Earl" inspired the shit out of me.

And nice story, by the way. I think we all can identify with feeling like the whole world will know what we did at that age. Everything that happens is forever.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Nicely-put, daph. 'Everything that happens is
forever.'

At that age, time crawls along like a glacier. There's a gulf the size of the Grand Canyon between students just a grade apart. Twenty-one seems old. Thirty seems ancient. People forty and over should be dead.

And inopportune farts and poops feel like shots heard 'round the world.

C. Everett, as for IBS, imagine pouring a pint of diarrhea into your Depends over a period of one hour, as you get pains akin to being stabbed repeatedly in the stomach. Not something that works in a diaper, or anywhere but on a toilet. I've actually screamed while in a nasty IBS fit... It gets intense. The only "cure" is to figure out what upsets your insides, and not eat it. But for some IBS sufferers, that list will change at random. Love corn? Can eat corn? One day, corn may suddenly become a "no" food - you eat some and your stomach goes haywire. And "problem foods" pop up when you least expect them - Tabasco is one of mine, and I've gotten sick off a bowl of soup only to later find out that the soup had three drops of Tabasco in it.

As for Crohn's, do your research. Worse than IBS by a long shot. Absolutely no way a diaper would be an approximation of a helping hand.

This suggestion is very similar to telling someone with cataplexy (which can cause sudden weakness, even body collapse) to carry a chair everywhere they go, so they can simply fall into it. "Wear some Depends" isn't the solution for people with IBS or Crohn's. Rather, it's the solution that seems reasonable to the "Oh, quit being a sissy, buck up and take it" school of thought.

If it was your favourite seat & you ALWAYS sat there - wouldn't it be quite easy to label the sticky shite on the seat as yours? I was always lucky and never had to get the bus to High School as I lived 15min walk away but sometimes that 15min walk would feel like forever. With each step a little fart would escape as you clench your arse cheeks - thank christ I never let loose. As said previously there is no safety valve

Never been on a school bus, had to walk. At primary school you could always tell the kids who had shat themselves, as they were wearing the emergency spare shorts or skirt that would be about 5 sizes too big.

Oh my gosh-what memories this story brings to me too! I had really bad diarrhea in high school almost every morning that began with 1-2 hours of cramps that hurt worse than anything I can even describe. I suffered through those cramps on the school bus at least once a week too. Somehow, I always made it to the bathroom, although many times I think I was running for my life. I do have some stories about trying to cover up explosive diarrhea noises in an echoing high school bathroom almost every morning!

Dammit!!! I knew it was you, GDP!!! I did a stint as a bus driver many years ago, and cleaning shit off the seat was the final straw!!! I quit shortly after that, ruined my life with drink, lost everything, because some little kid shit on MY bus!!! Oh wait...no, thats not right...hmmm....I need...where's my teddy? mom? MOM????

There is a natural funk to a schoolbus, from the time of its manufacture (I once spent six months working in a bus factory), and this is augmented by the aromas of adolescence. I'm sure this particular bus was riper than most.

TBW's comment, above, about time going by like a glacier when you're that age is dead on. Nowadays, however, for me it goes by like a steam valve.

Bilge, this couldn't have been the bus that drove you to drink. She clearly states that the driver was a woman.

Oh, wait.... I forgot about the operation. Sorry, Bilge.

I craped myself on the school bus after kindergarten and it was taken back to school to be picked up by my mother becaus of it.

Similar situation happened to me, but luckily my Pepere drove me home that day... well, unluckily for his Oldsmobile.

I know exactly how you felt, I pooped myself on the bus once as well only I was wearing a tan skirt. It was soo embarassing as I was 16 when it happened and was very popular in school. It made a big mess on the seat and on me as I tried to hold it back, but when I got up it all came gushing out of me.

C Everett Poop I can't wait till you have to deal with something like Crohn's or IBS. I've had to give up jobs because of it. You're incredibly lucky and shouldn't be insensitive to those who don't share your good fortune.

When you said "was my favorite seat", I quicky made the asumption that after that incident, it suddenly no longer was your favorite seat.
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"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

poor girl o well u didnt get blamed so noone will know it was you...ever....too bad for the nerd though
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i have met many people that talk like asses but i have not met many asses that talk like people