wow thanks for turning my anonymous submission into a story, these event occured in 1987.

alot more gross poop occurances happened that summer, followed by another forced year at this place in 1988. Thankfully my sister being 7 at the time became so tramatized by these 2 summers in Bezzals house, that she really did need a few years of therepy. this all resulted in my first summer being left alone in 1989, i.e. not having to go to any more camps.

oh the memories, and anguish.

as for this camp the land was purchased in 1990 by a hospital for children with disabilities. they installed 2 clean water pools for them and by 1993 the entire camp was shutdown and turned over to land developer houses now stand on the misery of my youth, and thankfully no others have to endure its legacy, years later i ran into the former owner of the camp and got the run down.

i post under many anonymous names, you will hear from me again in the future :).

Give a boy who refuses to shit Exlax just before he goes home, that camp was pure evil.
_______
Honest honey, I took my pills...

Hey Camp Lakondas sorrow -- I created a user account for you. Email me so I can give you access to it. Why be anonymous?

Your welcome. Since that time I have developed a dependency on laxatives and the problem has become so bad that my colon has prolapsed. Enjoy your laugh.

Haha, just kidding. Great story. Proof once again that random memories can be triggered all the time. Me, I have been trying to block out my two years of summer camp for the past 20 years. All I can remember now is playing bloody knuckles in Jackson Hole, WY. Maybe I'll send my parents this story as proof that they were wrong in insisting that I go.

_______
Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

THIS HAS TO BE...BY FAR..THE MOST FICTITIOUS STORY TO EVER HIT THE FRONT PAGE OF POOPREPORT.

It is completely unbelievable that a healthy 12 year old boy could hold his load for 2 MONTHS.
First off, he would had to have been in extreme pain. Secondly, I know that when I can't shit I have no appetite at all. Finally, when he fell asleep and relaxed his body, his impacted colon full of shit most likely would have just "fell out" of his asshole.

This imaginary vision you saw of this kid shitting, dropping a hundred pounds, and seeing his body shape change is a total farce. You have been watching too many cartoons.

I am ashamed to be associated with this lame attempt at PoopReporting. I thought this sight was about "The Intellectual Appreciation of Poop Humor".

I think this is a great first story. I am sure that Ben did poop a little in the two month time frame, but that is neither here nor there. I was practically laughing out loud when I read this story. I can only imagine the stench that came out of poor Ben, and the look on Ben's face. Don't let your critics get you down, keep up the good work. I give you a big thumbs up.
_______
Jammin' lo'flo's since 1977.

This story may be true but very very exaggerated. To the point of being cartoonish. It was an okay story, but like my husband said about breast, "I like the real ones better."

the story is 100% true...

things i left out for sake of focusing on poop.

First off, we had to eat the camps food, which was DISCUSTING. i lost almost 30 pounds at this camp from simply not eating anything from the mess hall. the water had that hint of brown in it also, so mostly we all drank sprite all summer long from 2 vending machines which 4 campers had figured out how to circumvent, in the ski shop. that was about it, no milk either, on the second day i tried to eat some flintstones and the milk was solid in the container, i gave up after that.

I myself really didn't poop much at all after the first 2 days. i can remember a turtle head poking me for over 3 days and i myself refused to go until we got to the bowling alley.
i had some of the longest poops you could ever imagine at the bowling alley, hard as rocks also.

and no we were not allowed to eat at the bowling alley we had to have the camps catered food, which was why i wrote home constantly, my mom was kind enough to drop me 5$ in my letters to camp which i used to buy pizza at the bowling alley. my dad was and is and always will be an asshat.

ben was red haired, light skin and freckled, he was a super picky eater, and after the first 2 days i know he was talking to the RAs about food, he was in bunk 15 i was in bunk 14 so we had different activities during the day, most of which i ducked out of, i didn't see him all the time, if he took other dumps he didn't tell anyone about them, and our conversion was that he had not gone to the bathroom in 8 weeks, if that meant just going in the toilet in our bunk i wouldn't know since he didn't tell me.

all i know is ben got fatter and fatter that summer. he didn't look good, but it wasn't my problem i was tring to watch after my sister on the otherside of camp(girls side) as this was a really tramatic nightmare we went though, all the RAs were from europe here on an exhange program, they all stole from us(bedding, pillows, shoes) they barely spoke english which made things even more hellish.

i'll leave you with this in 1988 a kid i'll call LEFTY showed me how to make gasoline moltolf cocktales which we lobbied at the camps mess hall in an attempt to burn it down, which failed and Lefty was caught, i didn't have the balls to follow through at the time :)

well anyway, i know none of us at camp really ate anything solid, so after the first 2 weeks the bathroom was rarely used for #2 and not by me at all.

i wrote that as a blurb comment for the other camp thread and it sort of spiraled into a story, i've still left tons of things out...
like when i was forced to jump into the camps lake in crib #1 and got 5 leaches stuck to my feet and legs. when your 12 and have a creature you've never seen suddenly make a meal of you,,, you stop shitting amoung other things.

I've kept my letters that i sent home during this time and its quite disturbing even reading them today, my sister refuses to talk about it :)

TTFN!

Real. Fake. Who cares. This was not a bad story and it got a little chuckle out of me.

I think you attended Camp Crystal Lake.

"i lost almost 30 pounds at this camp from simply not eating anything from the mess hall."

The average weight of a 12 year old is about 100 pounds. You expect us to believe that you lost about one-third (or 30%) of your body weight in eight weeks?
Five years ago my weight was 275 pounds. I went on a 1500 calorie a day diet and it took me SEVEN months to lose 45 pounds (or about 16% of my body weight).
If you ate next to nothing your body would have retained fat because your metabolism would slow down dramatically.

"I remember watching the very shape of his body change -- imagine losing a hundred pounds in twenty seconds! His belly shrunk and his pants expand."

So here you are saying this kid's weight doubled in just 8 weeks? He became a 200 pound kid and 100 of it was just his gut of fecal matter? And it only took twenty seconds to exit?

Please.

doniker, get a f*cking life. all you do is criticize like crazy when you think a story's fake, and yet your stories suck balls just as bad.

People should be more careful where their children go. They are your most precious commodity, your little peeps. For God's sake. If you'll check out a garage before you take your car there, why the hell wouldn't you visit the camp first or get references?

And for the record, I was 125 pounds when I was 12 and was not fat; I swam and was quite muscular, albeit a bit hefty. And my daughter is ten, she's 5 foot 5, and she weighs 115 pounds. There are big kids out there who throw the averages off.

I liked the story, even if I wanted to kick the parents in the nads for putting you through that mess. It's a mom thing.

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

"doniker, get a f*cking life. all you do is criticize like crazy when you think a story's fake"

We are able to say FUCK here. I criticize a story if it's fake or not.

"yet your stories suck balls just as bad"

1. My stories are great.
2. Your statement "just as bad" confirms that you think this story blows.

3. Blow me.

"Blow me."

I think I'll pass. 0_o

"the log of hazzard (108) -- 09.27.2006
"Blow me."

I think I'll pass. 0_o"

Obviously I wasn't talking to you.
Is your life so empty that you have to respond to a comment that wasn't directed to you?

Quick, Motherload, before a blood-vessel pops in Doniker's brain. Tell us if it is possible for Ben to hold his poop for two months and not die.

I laughed so hard, I want to believe it's true! But Doniker is making sense. Surely, 100 lb is an over estimate.

I don't know about the weight issue here. I am 38 years old and am five feet seven inches, and I only weigh 117 pounds.

A person can be constipated for years. That just means that the stool is hard, and troublesome to pass. But it still has to come out.

There is no way that a person could not have a bowel movement at all for more than a couple of weeks without other issues arising such as impaction and/or obstruction, which would result in severe discomfort and possibly the need for immediate medical attention.

_______
Always looking out for number two!

G Ras often held it in for a month at a time. While I think the "lost a hundred pounds" is no more than cartoonish exaggeration, I've read enough poop reports to know that the human body can accomplish unbelievable feats. Two months? You never know.

I may have gone to camp at this same shithole. The worst food had to be the sausage patties. Ewwww. Nasty. The crappers there were pretty bad too. Good first story.

_______
Brown tidings I bring
to you
from my ring

So what!! Life would be very boring if no one had a creative licence. Hell no one would go fishing again if they thought they would only catch a real sized fish. Hollywood would just be an oversized heroin store.

The stories are funny and maybe most of it is true. Stress will make the body do very strange things. Thats why they make Ex-Lax.
Real or not, I laughed.

_______
If odor persists, call The Sausage Source for assistance.

I think it was a great story... some people just need to get a grip and laugh a little in life!

I'm reminded of this camp story I posted earlier this year:

When Bowels Want To Go Home

Doniker, calm down buddy. The point is to laugh at the story, not worry about its authenticity. Save your energy for the stories that are neither real nor funny. :-)

Motherload may have given us her stats, but what she didn't tell you guys is she's also really hot. She's the hot nurse of Poopreport!

I love that. Female poopreporters rock.

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Hey Daphne, I`ve seen ML`s picture as well, and agree that she is one hot lady - but you are too, as is "in the bushes". A lot of great girls seem to be attracted to a shit site.

All of you nitpickers need to lighten up. I have had stories picked apart for things that were obvious exagerations for emphasis. It only shows the critic in a bad light. I liked this story a lot.

I went to a seriously fucked up summer camp, when I was a young'un, and can relate, even though I had no poop problems.............. well, not really. .............. Hmmmm. .......... I just got an idea for a story.
_______
Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan
Join The Poop Reporter's Lounge

Calm down Sam.

Doniker is living proof that someone can be completely full of shit and still function (albeit dysfunctionally).

I have no clue why doniker has a need to nitpick every story that appears here. I think it's because his own stories are just so plain, he takes no poetic license and just repeats grim facts, which give them all the same air of despondancy. As soon as I see a doniker story I pretty much know how it's gonna play out, in fact I'll even go so far as to say I can write a doniker story better than the man himself.

Doniker, here's a challenge, write up a story for PR and send it to Dave, I'll write one in your style and we'll see if Dave will post them without crediting either of us, we can have the viewers guess which one is the real doniker story. If more people guess mine as the real doniker you have to quit picking apart inconsistancies, if you win I'll never criticize you again.

I think that the moral is: some of us have had great or horrible experiences, and write up these stories with creative licence.

The stories that succeed get good comments, and are taken as true, but are obviously embellished to make a good tale.

False tales are also sometimes great reads, specially if they are very amusing. If they are well written and vaguely plausible, what`s the harm.

I think someone needs to shit!

_______
I shit therefore I am.

"Doniker is living proof that someone can be completely full of shit and still function (albeit dysfunctionally)."

AM I ANY DIFFERENT THAN MOST PEOPLE? I BELIEVE MOST PEOPLE ARE FULL OF IT.

"I have no clue why doniker has a need to nitpick every story that appears here."

I DON'T NITPICK EVERY STORY. JUST THE UNBELIEVABLE OR STUPID ONES.

"I think it's because his own stories are just so plain, he takes no poetic license and just repeats grim facts, which give them all the same air of despondancy."

I HAVE NEVER BEEN A FAN OF FICTIONAL MOVIES, BOOKS, ETC. I HAVE HAD MORE POSITVE FEEDBACK THAN NEGATIVE FEEDBACK ABOUT MY STORIES; MY FANS AND I THINK MY WRITING STYLE IS GREAT.

"Doniker, here's a challenge, write up a story for PR and send it to Dave, I'll write one in your style and we'll see if Dave will post them without crediting either of us, we can have the viewers guess which one is the real doniker story. If more people guess mine as the real doniker you have to quit picking apart inconsistancies, if you win I'll never criticize you again."

NO THANKS. I CAN'T JUST "WRITE UP" A STORY. MY STORIES CONTAIN THINGS THAT REALLY HAPPENED IN MY LIFE.

Well doniker, you state AM I ANY DIFFERENT THAN MOST PEOPLE?, I think you are, how many other people have been banned from PR and decided to pose as a woman (Candy) or another man (Burrito Gas)just to inflame other members, I think on this point you've proven to be more full of shit than other members.

As far as nitpicking goes, between yourself and CEP you two account for 90% of all negative comments to stories posted. I think I've been negative on two stories, one had a glaring fallacy regarding a Jewish Deli serving crab soup for breakfast and another was a love story that was somewhat dubious in accepting that women shit (and shamelessly at that). I always try to find a positive in a story where you try to find a negative, this is most likely rooted in your self esteem issues, much easier to bring people down to justify your own sorry state.

Regarding making things up, no, I don't, I will employ dramatic flare when describing dropping a deuce but the facts are true, whereas you tend to stick to very bland descriptions of your fecal follies, I think the reason for it is a lot of your imagination is dead due to drinking a dozen Bud Lights every couple of days, I was there so I know whatof I speak.

As far as making up a poopreport, no, just submit a story, I'll make one up. Not too hard to combine beer, hotfood (or fastfood), a nagging harpie wife, the mention of some minor money issue and a case of shamefulness and there we go...we have a doniker.

Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy your reports and you are an immensely popular writer here but if you could change your attitude just a bit you'd be a great PoopReporter rather than a tragic waste of talent.

I think doniker needs to just get a life... what would the world be without some "fictional" stories and/or movies? It would be plain boring anyway. To the person who wrote this story... keep up the good work and ignore the criticism... some people don't know how to be respectful.

Doniker, don't blow a gasket my friend. Upon your return from exile, your attitude was grateful and relaxed. It's just a story. Humor comes in many forms: irony, misdirection, pun, embellishment. Let the authors have their fun. I liked the story even if an eight-week stretch between this kid's dumps seems exaggerated. So what? It is like the Coyote and the Roadrunner: how many times can the Coyote fall off a cliff and live? Yet we still watch.

I think I'll stay out of this flame war.

_______
Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Go get some marshmallows, Nine Inch, and we can sit at the perimeter roast them.

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Doniker, Nobody wants your god damned comments on some fucking minor defficiency that doesn't even matter. If somebody wants to write a story, that's their prerogative, whether that story be marred or not. This story was a bit fictitious, yet mildly humourous. So Bens pants exploded and the contents of his bowel went flying throughout the area...so what? Stop ruining the fun in PoopReport and get a new hobby, other than crushing people's ego's...just for the record, your stories aren't that good. Peace

_______
Big DJ Industriez Inc.
www.bigdjindustriez.tk
www.haze-reborn.com
I'm not a whore, you are.

To "ExplosiveShitMatrix" (stupid handle by the way) people like you crack me up.

Your some punk who has been here for a few weeks, has added NOTHING to PoopReport but yet your going to put me down. I have been contributing and helping this site become great for 5 1/2 years.

A month from now you will have moved on and noboby will remember or care that you even exist.

Peace? Piece of shit..you are.

Personally, I think Doniker adds a bit of spice to the threads. Sure, he can be a pain in the ass, but someone has to be the villain.

Even so, I've read comments made by a nicer, more understanding Doniker. Let's cut him a little slack and just kindly remind him not to blow a gasket everytime a questionable story is posted...
and Doniker, don't let the fact that someone is defending you go to your head.

*Your some punk who has been here for a few weeks, has added NOTHING to PoopReport*
It's not my fault that dave won't post my story, now is it? And my handle is stupid? what in the fuck kind of stupid name is "doniker"? that word reminds me of a bloated pig with pieces of sausage splattered all over it's face for some reason...I can't quite figure that out. Your stories are ok, I'm just pissed off that you put people down for trying their best. And I will not "Move On" I happen to like this site and the people on it, I would even like you, if you would stop being a pig to everyone...including me. I Apologize for offending anyone, including doniker. My judgement of character is severely marred by your repulsive act of criticism on everyone. Anyway, Hopefully we can work this out, and you will stop putting people down for doing the best that they can do. Peace

_______
Big DJ Industriez Inc.
www.bigdjindustriez.tk
www.haze-reborn.com

When will someone BAN Doniker and C. Everett? All either bring to this site is hatred and prejudice. Neither are funny.

"Anonymous Coward (not verified) -- 10.01.2006
When will someone BAN Doniker and C. Everett? All either bring to this site is hatred and prejudice. Neither are funny."

FUCK YOU...YOU ANONYMOUS COWARD. WHAT, YOU ARE SO WEAK YOU CAN'T EVEN SHOW YOURSELF?

GETTING BANNED....BEEN THERE, DONE THAT. IF IT HAPPENS AGAIN, DON'T CARE.

THEIR ARE THOUSANDS OF WEBSITES I CAN ABUSE, AND I HAVE AND WILL.

DAVE KNOWS WHEN TO PULL THE PLUG ON doniker AND WILL, IF HE SEES FIT.

AGAIN, FUCK YOU.

Ok Doniker, I approved this comment and was reading it in disbelief. Have you learned nothing at all or grown the slightest bit as a person in the last five years? You don't care if you get banned again. OK. Why you keep coming back is a mystery to me then, but anyway. Dave knows when to pull the plug on you and will do it as he sees fit? So, let me get this straight. Knowing this, you don't care how you act, because Dave will "pull the plug." That indicates a lack of personal responsibility, which explains perfectly many of your actions over the past few years. There are thousands of websites you can abuse, and obviously PR is just one of the many on the list.

AB2K, I think he had a drink, or two or three, when he posted that. I can't believe he really doesn't care whether he gets banned again.

Oh, and jump into the chat box. I haven't had a good chat with you in ages. :-)

This 'Camp Lakondas' sounds like a prison camp for children--I'm amazed the place stayed in business for as long as it did.

I was never sent to camp but did discover I am a shameful shitter. I didnt discover just how shameful I was until I went on a 3 week trip to visit my mom's side of the family. I took Amtrak from the West Coast to the Twin Cities, a nice leisurely trip. Stayed at my aunts and uncles, had a great time.

Only problem was--I discovered I could not easily shit away from home. Tried everything--drinking lots of water, fiber, gut exercises, plenty of walking.

What happened was I could shit--a little. But not easily. And all I could produce were little bunny pellets. I'd leave the john knowing the job wasnt complete.

It wasnt until I go home, put my key in the front door, turned the lock--that all at once my guts woke up. Barely made it to the bathroom in time, and practically knocked my roomates over, screaming at them to get out of the way.

All the shitting I did not do away from home, I did right then.

So my guess is poor Ben did manage to poop a little bit, but not nearly enough to get full relief.

That place sounds hideous. No wonder you're glad it got bulldozed under.

Jeeezus AB2K go easy on him. Everyone knows doniker has extremely low self esteem and this is the only place where he can actually feel good about himself. You should know better, why else would he be banned on four separate occassions and then profusely grovel to all the regulars to let him back. His ego is fragile, just look at some of the things he's said:

I don't know, I think about fucking all the time but when I actually get down to doing it I get tired quick, I am sore the next day, and it's alot of strain.

I am such an old piece of crap.

Fine.

I will leave the site.

I am sick of being the fucking nigger of PoopReport anyway.

I don't recall you ever accepting my apology, but I will take your word for it.
I'm sure your memory is better than mine.

What am I apologizing for again?

As you can see he does apologize, I'd love to see the ones he's sent to Dave and TBW, but at least we know that in the end doniker will get banned and then resort to form and crawl with his nutsack stuffed in his mouth once again asking to be reinstated. His addiction to PR is just as bad as his booze habit. doniker you are such a sad fucking case, have you learned absolutely nothing in your 44 years??? You don't rule here, you're just a peon, one that people have laughed AT as you rage out of control and then feel shitty and come back all apologetic. It's like a woman with an abusive alcoholic husband who beats her, and she keeps going back over and over, at some point you just give up hope. That's where I stand with you, a lost fucking cause. this ends my last reply to the shell of a human being called doniker.

I'm not going to contribute to the ever going long argument with (about, more apt) Doniker.

Maybe the whole "lose 100 pounds in twenty seconds" thing is illogical, and probably embellished, but it was funny. Poop report = poop humor. Not poop accuracy, or poop logicality. Good on ya, Camp Lokandis (SP) on writing a great first story!

Poop is funny. Laxatives make poop funnier. Stop the flame wars.

_______
I'm so good at clogging up toilets, I can make mine back up when there's nothing in it.

I do think it's possible to hold shit in for a long time. I once read a story about a schizophrenic who refused to shit for 10 weeks and died as the result of the impaction. You have to be a real pathological case to hold it for 8 weeks, though.

I am sure that Ben probably didn't hold it for 8 weeks, but might have managed 3 or so.

Sometimes flame wars are necessary.

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

To AB2K:

OK I guess I do care if I get banned. What I was really trying to say was that if I can't be myself what is the point of posting at all?
I feel that I have grown over the past 5 years and only post a small percentage of what a really feel on PR; mostly because flame wars are old and the brutal postings will just get deleted anyway.

And for the record I haven't gone haywire on any other forums for at least 2 years now.

To Bunga:

You have too much time on your hands. I don't need your "AA Sponsor" type advice, help and analysis. I have been through AA, Alanon, counseling, etc. for my addictions and the addictions of family and friends.

I'm glad you succeeded and have changed your evil ways. But as you know only one person can change me, that person is me of course. I don't want to change at this time....but thank you for your concern.

I think I got too close to the screen. My eyebrows are singed.
But Don't ban Doniker.
He adds that essential drop of crazy here. But, I'll tell you wear he would fit right in. Dailyrotten.com
It's a room full of Donikers.
I lost a limb on that site.

Now this thread is what I call brotherly love. d:-D.

CLS probably didn't see Ben's every move. Ben was probably such a shamefull shitter, that he would only poop when nobody was around.
_______
Jammin' lo'flo's since 1977.

It was funny and so is poop otherwise we wouldn't be here laughing about it together. I never got to experience camp as a kid. My mother would send me to my grandmother's house for 2 weeks in the summer. She lived in a rural area and my sister, brother and I had to do her "spring cleaning". Spiders in the shitter...big deal! It was camp - I had dishpan hands at 7!!!!

Why didn't one of you ungrateful youths grab a bucket and broom and fix it? I often restore certain facilities I make use of, because everyone else is milling about, not wanting to. Then again, I am a sucker for making people happy.

Poonanza (17) -- 10.04.2006
"Then again, I am a sucker for making people happy."

Hi, Poonanza. I'm GGG. Wanna come over to my house? We have a pool. 3 toilets. A puppy. Gummy Bears. What kind of beer do you like? :)

>People should be more careful where their children go. They are your most precious commodity.

Actually Daphne, my bank account is my most precious commodity. My children are my most expensive mistake.

I went to summer camp for one or two weeks each year for almost a decade. I don't remember ever allowing myself to crap in the camp toilets, as they were completely foul. Plus, as the skinny kid, I was afraid the camp bullies would beat up on me when I was in the loo and most vulnerable. Once or twice we were permitted to go to the adjacent regular campsite and I do recall fouling a the "adult" toilets there. I'm still amazed that I held it in for two weeks that one year when I was 9.

*whistles* This was a brutal read (the comments, anyway). What's that country song? "Center of Attention". It came to mind.

_______
"That was a very disappointing party. I showed up and everyone left!"- Camille

Not quite a believable story, but I went to camp for 2 weeks when I was 11. The facilities were worse than those found in third-world prisons.

Anyway, I think I went twice, and one time I was accosted by the resident bullies while I was in my helpless condition. However, I did get to read some classic Shithouse Poetry - In fact I still remember the poem scrawled on the stall some 27 years later.

In days of old when knights were bold
And rubbers weren't invented
They wrapped a sock around a cock
and babies were prevented

What a sad commentary on American youth camps when it leads to 11-year-olds ending up in third-world prisons.

Lets see if we can remember the shit house writings of yore.
In 1892 when Columbus sailed the ocean blue he climb the mast scrached his ass and pissed all over the crew.
Here I sit all broken hearted came to shit and only farted.
Flush twice its a long way to the mess hall.
thats all I remember folks.

_______
No one is the same after I release my Methane!

Columbus's thing was 1492, not 1892. Unless you mean a different Columbus.

_______
I'm so good at clogging up toilets, I can make mine back up when there's nothing in it.

No its what was written on the bathroom wall at least what I remember.

_______
No one is the same after I release my Methane!

Heh, well Fartismo, I guess that shows you what graffiti writers know. And I always liked these two:

Some people come to take a shit
I came to leave one.

Please, if you take a dump,
remember to put it back!

_______
I'm so good at clogging up toilets, I can make mine back up when there's nothing in it.

DF, remember what I said in the forums about acting like a know-it-all?

Anyway, the quote, "Please, if you take a dump, remember to put it back!" was funny.

_______
I was a category five! Category five, I tell you! Get it right or I'll be back to PROVE IT!!!!- Katrina

Yes and graffiti writers younger than 10 are even worse.
We should start a forum for bathroom writings.

_______
No one is the same after I release my Methane!

Most people who write the graffiti are apparently not that inteligent or they would know that it is not good to deface other people's property.

DF I think your "Some people come to take a shit, I came to leave one." and "Please, if you take a dump,remember to put it back!" are not only funny, but very creative.

_______
It's not nice to fool mother nature.

As much as I'd love to, I can't take credit for them. I saw them around and remember them because I like them so much too.

_______
I'm so good at clogging up toilets, I can make mine back up when there's nothing in it.

Losing a hundred pounds in 20 seconds? Fat chance. I read that, went home, took some exlax, fell asleep in the recliner, and shit myself. Scraped the drawers and got weighed. I only lost 87 pounds. Damn! Can I sue somebody for this?