"leaving smeared intestines all over the side"

"He snarled angrily as I wiped his intestines off of my anus and threw them at him'

"it looked dangerous. It even had teeth"

Did anyone get this? I sure as hell didn't. Either me or the writer is an idiot and I'm pretty sure it isn't me.

I also had my intellect challenged by this story. What was in the writers rectum?
Hey...writers rectum is alliterative and should be included in some sort of pooetry.
Anyway.......either I am denser than I thought I was or the story made no sense.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

It sounds like the person who wrote this was high on something when they werewritng, this story challenges my comprehension
_______
I will never shit somewhere that only has that horrible, scratchy brand of toilet paper. That stuff sucks!

It's simply personification.You give life to an inanimate object to create a character.

Odd. I assume this is a tale of a sudden urgent bowel movement, but I'm not sure. It sounds successful, if frantic. I'm not sure I like the bit about intestines being outside. Odd.

I found it quite funny. It is not the usual kind of story about sitting on a toilet with sounds. It personified an inanimate object. Quite genius if you ask me.

Rather rude to assume the writer is high. perhaps saying he is a higher level of intelligence than you would be more accurate.

Keep sending these in, I loved it. My office loved it. Anyone who saw it that I know loved it.

C Everett, you seem to tend to like to write long winded entries about Navy tales. Literal tales. Not funny. Perhaps this author was too funny for you. I think the fact they said in half as much words as you over ten times as much as you did. Asking if you or the writer is an idiot is a moot point and totally unnecessary.

Chief, you are an average writer at times. Considering this is the authors first story and it is infinitely better than your own debut which took 3 years to folow up, you might want to cut a bit of slack.

greenpoop, never seen anything written from you. No rated comments. No stories. Nothing.

I am a long time fan of this site but sometimes I get the feeling newer better authors are perhaps being ganged up on by the resident clique scared of a little competition. I think of half a dozen good writers over the years who moved on because of the bullying.

Chocolate Shark, you keep writing. It is clever, witty, you carry the story, you compel the read and as seen in these comments whether you like or hate the story, you comment. Truly wonderful writing. I am sick of seeing the rehashed gibberish that is lauded by the clique and it makes my day to see a newer brighter author make the top spot. Wonderful.

At first, I thought it was a story about having pinworms! After finishing, I think the writer was having an acid trip.

Hey Fan, read the comments after my stories. There are dozens of them and all are positive. I think you are in danger of being an idiot yourself.

I wasn't going to comment on this story and still won't....

But I do want to comment on A fan of poop's comment - you are right and dead on.

I'm sure many storytellers or potential storytellers have been scared away due to brutal comments posted on this site after someone worked hard on a story. I am guilty of being too harsh at times.

But everybody will hate or love everything. so who gives a fuck?

Post the shit and see if it works.

Was not going to comment, but how can I resist being critiqued by fan?

Doniker, I think the main difference between CEP's stories and this steaming pile of LSD-induced dung is that CEP's stories are actually worth reading, even if some are better than others.

Fan of Poop sounds like the original author in disguise, trying to defend a story the communiy has identified as being more vile than the demon-dook from his anus.

_______
"...you guys are missing the genius of Turdgutson's idea. We should certainly not be shitting in the sink, but why not invent a Toilet Disposal? Your tampon, giant turd, or some hooker's hand won't flush? Just flip a switch!" - SamDamnit

The writer isn't an idiot, though I suspect that he or she was intoxicated when the whole ordeal took place, and that a lot of metaphors are being used.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA.......you could have explained yourself a lil more clearly but I got the jist

Why don't you ask Dave to verify my IP address here and tell you I am not the author. Better yet, ask him to verify the operating system. You guys are a joke. I suppose anyone who dares defend this person is obviously the alter ego right.

Every time I come to this site, it has less than 5 users online and more than 500 guests. Does that not tell you something? No one logs in because the same clique reading the same rehashed stories from the same boring people. We need these guests to sign up, post stories and give us a good laugh.

This site is a godsend. Reading this in the office is as good as taking a 45 minute dump in the office. It is satisfying. Why ruin it with stale comments and authors.

What bothers me is every time a new author shows up, they are pounced upon. No one is asking you to kiss ass. To outright call someone an idiot and vilify them for their attempt at giving you guys something to read is just terrible. What is worse is on the front page of this site is just one click away from each comment you guys make. How bad that looks.

CEP, for the record, this single story is better than anything you have ever written. You are full of it. An egocentric writer living off one semi-decent paragraph in a story posted years back. Get-over-it. Like the rest of your clique on here, you write something half decent and think you can live off the internet kudos and internet kudo royalties forever. It is supposed to be fun.

You attack pretty much anyone who dares post a story because a couple of comments went to your head. Get over it, you aren't half as good as you think you are and for a middle aged man you really come across as immature not to mention jealous.

Look at your own profile, check out your own comment rating. Half are negative. All I see on your stories - years ago - are the same comments. Nothing else.

Don't deny it the clique exists because here I am trying to offer an unbiased opinion and even I am now in the firing line for trying to be impartial.

Did it not occur to you guys that perhaps if you actually gave people a chance or constructive criticism, then Dave would have fifty times as many stories in his inbox and perhaps would be a lot more select with the front page. Perhaps the quality would shoot up?

I hope this lot never scared you off Chocolate because judging by your imagination and creativity you will run rings around this lot for as long as you choose to do so. 400+ reads on your first day is not a bad showing in my opinion and proving these comments whether good or bad just shows you invoked something in these people.

I agree with afanofpoop that there are times first-time story posters have been torn up. However, I completely disagree that our site is full of regulars who are jealous of other's stories and are, as afanofpoop called Chief Thunderbutt, average writers.

I think the story had potential that wasn't reached but still enjoyed it. Although it's an unusual submission, it's not hard to understand what the writer's trying to say. The concept that one's poop can become an antithesis to oneself, complete with teeth, is funny. But, to suggest our levels of intelligence were being challenged because some of those who commented didn't like it, afanofpoop? Please.

Let me give you some advice. If you're going to suggest that others' intelligence levels are of question, then don't do so by posting comments riddled with sentence fragments and incorrect and/or absence of proper punctuation; it undermines your attempt to admonish others with any authority. It's akin to addressing city hall in hopes of having a bill passed while wearing dirty jeans and a Beavis and Butthead sweatshirt with the sleeves cut off. Frankly, any points you might have made with me were lost in questionably-written, whiny vitriol.

P.S. Find a dictionary and read the definition of the word "bias". Then re-read your posts.

P.P.S. Welcome to PR, Shark. I hope you stick around, too.

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Well, I thought it was pretty funny, Chocolate - perhaps a little short. I don`t think it was rude to assume that CS was high, though, due to the style of writing.

It`s very Gonzo like - the kind of offering that Hunter S Thompson would submit if he were still alive. So lets have some more, CS, with a bit more length...as it were.

Dear A fan of poop,

Thank you so much for your kind comments regarding my submissions to PR,
I assume that when you said I was an average writer at times you meant I was superb the rest of the time.

When you mentioned your "unbiased
opinion" I laughed until I farted. Your opinion is extremely biased in favor of new over old. I apologize for having different tastes in writing styles than you. Oh....by the way...I don't think your spell-check is working properly.

Chocolate's writings remind me somewhat of the later poetry of T. S. Elliot.
I love some of Elliot's earlier works but his later works used so much symbolism that they became unintelligible even to scholars. Have a nice day and don't forget to get that spell-check worked on.

Chocolate, Your story was well written and amusing but I didn't understand it. If you post another I guarantee that I will read it.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Dear poop fan, Oooops, I incorrectly
criticized your spelling when I really meant to criticize your punctuation. I hadn't taken my morning dump and was not thinking clearly.

My colon is now cleared of a brain muddling grogan and I am thinking clearly. We geriatric geezers have senile old brains that are easily detracted
by bodily functions. Damn I just pissed on my PC!!

Please except my sincere apology. Can we still be friends?

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Well, that just about clinches it tighter than my ass when it's constipated. The more flak "Chocolate Shark" catches for an extremely lacking story, the more irate (and to a personal level) his alt, "A fan of poop) gets. Ergo, it would seem suspicions have been justified.

So, A fan of poop / Chocolate Shark, here's my advice to you, which you get for the promotional rate of FREE while supplies last:

- If your ego is so huge you can't handle the fact that your random scribblings fall astronomically short of the Shakespearian standard, and that they might catch some negative comments, best not to post them in a forum that averages 400 views a second - one of those viewers might just decide to post a negative comment. OoOOoohh!! Scary!!

- If your spell-check and grammar-check are malfunctioning, and you are incapable of constructing sentences correctly on your own, best not to call others to the mat for their own typos. Someone might just decide to post a negative comment, and you've already shown you can't handle that.

- Don't show up here under some random, unverifiable name, flaming veteran posters who have done nothing to deserve your shrill attempts at insults. Doing so only makes you disliked even more, especially given that these are other people who might have otherwise welcomed you into the community and been willing to help you out. You are made to look especially idiotic given that it's pretty clear you are the OA in disguise. Behavior like this may just make someone decide to post a negative comment. Which you can't deal with.

- I think you've burned some bridges here today, and unnecessarily. YOU chose to post the material, knowing what to expect. don't start acting like an idiot just because you didn't get the reaction you had a [censored] for.

Love,

turdy

_______
"...you guys are missing the genius of Turdgutson's idea. We should certainly not be shitting in the sink, but why not invent a Toilet Disposal? Your tampon, giant turd, or some hooker's hand won't flush? Just flip a switch!" - SamDamnit

HaHaHa Quality story there, It certainly amused me reading it but what did disgust me was reading some of the comments, why do some people insist on clicking in here to read a post and then complain/pick faults with it.

Go back to your own blog if the writer is an idiot and you don't wish to read the posts.

Wow some people can be so annoying.

The whole lot of you can bugger off! As I said, ask Dave to post my IP address. Here's some more spelling and punchuation for you: CEP suxs, Doniker suxs and Daphne suxs.

By the way, I found this hilarious:

"Why don't you ask Dave to verify my IP address here and tell you I am not the author. Better yet, ask him to verify the operating system."

Are you saying you know what kind of operating system Chocolate Shark uses? Or are you saying that, in addition to your random scribblings here, you also write your own operating systems that nobody but you uses?

And, give me a break on the IP address garbage. Anyone can fake one of those.

_______
"...you guys are missing the genius of Turdgutson's idea. We should certainly not be shitting in the sink, but why not invent a Toilet Disposal? Your tampon, giant turd, or some hooker's hand won't flush? Just flip a switch!" - SamDamnit

Oh grow up turd turdgutson.
If you are only here to pick faults grow some balls and try writing something yourself.

"Are you saying you know what kind of operating system Chocolate Shark uses? Or are you saying that, in addition to your random scribblings here, you also write your own operating systems that nobody but you uses?"

Do you have any proof to actually argue against this point as unlikley as it is that this is what that person was saying, thought not so do everyone a favour and if you have nothing constructive to say keep your mouth shut.

Have a nice day :)

Dear poopfan, My fragile ego has been irreparably damaged by being omitted
from the "sux" list. I certainly hope this was an innocent oversight on your part and no real slight was intended.

I think we have successfully traced you to the UK thanks to your "Bugger off" comment. I am not sure about the application of the phrases, fuck off and bugger off. Is there some symbolism in the phrases that goes over my head. As you know already my interpretive skills of the symbolic are extremely lacking.

If you register and post a story I will read it and give it an honest appraisal in my comments.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Sorry Chief...you sux too. To enlighten you, bugger = butt sex and fuck = any hole. And to Mr. Turd Turdgutson, yes, I did write my own operating system.

My density is overwhelming at times but you have still not explained how one accomplishes the deed of "butt fucking off",
am I the butt fucker or the butt fuckee? At my age I suppose any sex is better than no sex.
Oh.......thanks for adding me to the sux list,
I was feeling ostracized.

>_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

I love you too, A fan of poop / Anonymous Person / Chocolate Shark! In fact, I'm gonna go get loaded on laxatives right now and make you a very special love cake we can smear all over each other and then lick off our writhing bodies while trolling forums on your super sexy custom operating system and spoofing our IP addresses. In fact, I'll even eat your DNS off your ass while you tounge my firewall, if you want!

Mmmmm.

Seriously, dude. In your own words - "bugger off."

_______
"...you guys are missing the genius of Turdgutson's idea. We should certainly not be shitting in the sink, but why not invent a Toilet Disposal? Your tampon, giant turd, or some hooker's hand won't flush? Just flip a switch!" - SamDamnit

Hello. Thank you for the comments whether good or bad. I certainly didn't mean to offend. I might be an idiot and if that is so please don't tell my lecturers or bosses. I will send more stories in and leave it up to Dave. I was drunk though.

I know they are not to the taste of everyone. I don't write them for plaudits. I just happen to love this site and have done for years.

I am unsure who all these people are being dubbed my alter ego and really I don't care to be honest. Seems like there are three or four people using the anonymous names.

Once again thanks for the comments.

I get the picture. As my initial comments stated, I'm not in the clique so you guys can just run me off the site. Chocolate Shark - I wish you the best and please continue to post. And seriously Mr Turdgutson, I don't consider myself the type of fellow to allow just anyone to tongue my firewall but send me a picture and maybe you can convince me otherwise. Farewell...you shan't have A fan of poop to bash any longer. Cheers!

and one more thing...Mr. Turdgutson, you're post signature suxs.

Yay!

_______
"...you guys are missing the genius of Turdgutson's idea. We should certainly not be shitting in the sink, but why not invent a Toilet Disposal? Your tampon, giant turd, or some hooker's hand won't flush? Just flip a switch!" - SamDamnit

Dear poopfan/chocolate what's his name, please don't leave us, we enjoy kicking you around. Don't take this all so seriously this is, after all, a poop humor site. If you must go, then pip pip, tallyho, what what and all that other British rot that I so enjoy.

I hope you are from Birmingham, I really enjoy a brummie accent. I myself have an American southern drawl , so...Yal stick around, ya heah!!

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Ah'm stickin 'round mahseff, Chief. Ya'll wanna come down ta mah trailer and roast up some pork 'n beans? I got a tree stand with a great view of tha' bug zapper yew 'n yer kin can sit in. After dinner ya'll can go out rootin' with us, and after the truck gets stuck, we kin knock over a shitter in that Bimmie bastard's front yard!

Ya game? *belch*

_______
"...you guys are missing the genius of Turdgutson's idea. We should certainly not be shitting in the sink, but why not invent a Toilet Disposal? Your tampon, giant turd, or some hooker's hand won't flush? Just flip a switch!" - SamDamnit

It is wonderful to know that if I write enough, try hard enough, stay focused, Keep my eye on the prize, I too, can be told, that I suck. (Wipe tear from eyes!) (sniff) Oh the symbiotic triangle of art, fan, and critic!

Yeah, I was totally thinking it was some creepy jungle parasitic worm or something. Then the end came and I just thought...'WHAT?!?'

I think the frame of mind people are in when they read stories on this site makes this even more difficult to understand and out of place. I expect hilarity in the form of detailed descriptions of the uncomfortable or disgusting reality of the situation. This was more...I don't know...excessivly symbolic. Something someone on drugs might appreciate?

I kinda like it. I think. Maybe. I don't know. I'm still not even sure what happened. Did he just have a tough poop in the middle of the night? I guess this is far more interesting than " I woke up at 3 am and I had to shit. I had to push for a while. It tore my ass a little bit. The End."

Best Comment Thread EVAH.

I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. Chief and turd, my only regret is that Logjam wasn't here to add to the melee you instilled.

afanofpoop, I do not sux. I simply pointed out the inconsistencies of your insults. You sux. Besides, I'm usually one of the people on this site who welcomes newbs to the fold with open arms and encouraging words. When I joined in 2004, The Big Wiper was really nice to me, and I like to pass that forward. With you, however, I'll make an exception. Instead of open arms, howabout a swinging sock filled with horse manure?

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Chocolate Shark/Fan/Anonymous, you just got used like toilet paper. You need to get a thicker skin if you want to post front page stories here.

I have a really thick skin thus I am not losing sleep over this. I never realized that submitting my writing opened up the doors for you to question my character and integrity but we learn something new everyday.

What dawned on me and my colleagues earlier was a fan of poop is numerous other regular people here deliberately trying to slur. I find this to be pathetic to be honest.

Dave when checking these IP addresses will find a bunch of your IP addresses there. I doubt that is easy to achieve but what do I know.

Crticizing how I write is fine. Even questioning my mental state at the time is fine but to slander me with an after ego you created just so you can bully is sad. Are you so out of people to insult that you have to resort to creating one?

I may never write quite to the taste of some people but I would never stoop so low as to do that. All I can do is take compliment from it that to do all that on my first story.

Who really got used like toilet paper all things considered? I could change how I write but at least one of your guys anonymously will always be a spineless bully.

Thank you to those who are sensible and helpful.

i didn't love the story, but i was entertained. like i've said before when an atypical story is posted, i like the change. sadly, most people here obviously don't. i respect this story and it's author simply for trying to be different and break away from the every day pants-pooping stories.

i also agree that it's lame to accuse the author of posting as alter egos just because someone dared to stick up for him. lame, but typical.

_______
i love poop.

I found this site about a month back, and what really draws me here on a daily basis are:

1. Humor.
2. People sharing things about their life they can't really share with the usual circle of friends and family.
3. The variety of writing styles.

That being said, after reading the majority of the content on this site, I have a solid idea of how to differentiate between the stories which really happened and those which are just creative works. This seems real to me; however, I did not enjoy the style the author used to pass on his/her experience. Do I hate it? No, but it is not what I look for when perusing this site. Does it make me a 12 year old with no sense of taste who is seeking only fart jokes to pass the day in order to dislike this style of writing? No, just a personal preference.

So, that being said, thumbs down for me… but kudos for posting and keep it up!

Clean seats and calm waters,
Artpego

This story seemed REAL to you?

Dude. You are doing waaaaaaayyyyy too many drugs.

_______
"...you guys are missing the genius of Turdgutson's idea. We should certainly not be shitting in the sink, but why not invent a Toilet Disposal? Your tampon, giant turd, or some hooker's hand won't flush? Just flip a switch!" - SamDamnit

As far as the story goes the author had me thinking he had anal tapeworms(or some other weird parasite) for a moment. I felt the usual suspense of toilet chasing I've come to know and love from this site. Not a bad story but a little intellectual for my personal taste.

POOP!

I never use spel check. Ever.

This is awesome. anyone who doesn't get the sheer genius of this is a fucking idiot who takes shit too seriously...

Interesing,Kind of an "Alien vs Predator" theme.I actually enjoyed it in a sick kind of way.

THIS comment thread reminds me of the back row in health class the day Mr. Farr showed the childbirth video.

Anyway, to the story. After reading both tales, Chocolate Shark, I feel that you are in serious need of a laxative. I remember going through a time where I couldn't pass any shit without the struggle stated in these two stories, and the only thing that loosened it was a chocolate bar... Well, an Ex-Lax nugget, anyway.

_______
Well, you don't actually blow on it. That's just an expression.

As mentioned in the clone of this thread (the steaming pile of doo tiled 'Sally,') if this is health class, and we're the kids in the back row, then that must mean Fan/Shark/Anon/Scat Freak is the weird emo kid, sitting in the corner, eating his own boogers while talking to himself and scribbling pentagrams all over his arms.

*launches a spitball*

_______
"...you guys are missing the genius of Turdgutson's idea. We should certainly not be shitting in the sink, but why not invent a Toilet Disposal? Your tampon, giant turd, or some hooker's hand won't flush? Just flip a switch!" - SamDamnit

You couldn't pass the shit that time because of the cock in your ass.

Oh and Turd, my you are so original with your comments. Did mom hold your hand while she taught you to cut and paste from the other 'thread'?

Actually, Fan/Shark/Anon/Scat Freak, I took a cue from YOU! The way I figure it, if you're allowed to post the same terrible story twice, then I think The Shit Volcano and I can get away with doing the same.

Frankly, both of your stories are equally as bad, so I don't see the harm in giving them both the same treatment.

Oh, and thanks for dropping the 'humble' act when posting as Chocolate Shark. It makes it easier for the rest of us to keep track of which of your multiple personalities we're talking to.

Kisses 'n hugs,

turdy

_______
"...you guys are missing the genius of Turdgutson's idea. We should certainly not be shitting in the sink, but why not invent a Toilet Disposal? Your tampon, giant turd, or some hooker's hand won't flush? Just flip a switch!" - SamDamnit

You've broken him, Turdgutson. You got him so livid, he forgot to sign out before defending himself.

By the way, I LOVE the way you sign your comments so affectionately. I laugh every single time.

On the contrary, I never signed out. Read into that what you wish suck up.

I remain humble about my stories but will never be humble to gutless trolls like yourselves.

Blame the anonymous posts on me because we know you will never step forward and admit what you did. You live that lie, it suits you.

Just don't tell your kids the truth.

Chocolate Shark, my comment was not meant as an insult to you in any way. I see no reason why you should go off and hurl insults at me. I actually kind of liked your story.
Constipation makes some rather interesting Poop Reports. Different from the usual diarrhea squirts (though those are funny, too).

The constipation thing was a jest on the fact of the constipation, not your writing or character. It is hard to sort it out in the flame war.

_______
Well, you don't actually blow on it. That's just an expression.

Boy, Chocolate Shark, you really are starting to sound like sme crazed extremist nutjob. "Admit what [we] did?" Huh?? Whaa??

Anyway, I'm bored with this thread. Off to find some quality material to review.

Loving you always,

turdy

_______
"...you guys are missing the genius of Turdgutson's idea. We should certainly not be shitting in the sink, but why not invent a Toilet Disposal? Your tampon, giant turd, or some hooker's hand won't flush? Just flip a switch!" - SamDamnit

Yes, admitting the anonymous posts were yours would be a step in the right direction as they sure were not mine. In fact there was no argument until you posted the anonymous comments and you argued with them. Creating your argument is really quite clever at times but the fact you signed out to do is is pathetic.

The Shit Volcano, my comment was not aimed at you. Just those guilty of the above.

You're out of your fucking mind, Chocolate Shark.

_______
"...you guys are missing the genius of Turdgutson's idea. We should certainly not be shitting in the sink, but why not invent a Toilet Disposal? Your tampon, giant turd, or some hooker's hand won't flush? Just flip a switch!" - SamDamnit

Oh, and Chocolate Shark, feel free to respond to my last comment in whatever form you wish - I refuse to continue to indulge you by responding to your overtly-antagonistic, vitriolic, and deluded statements - doing so at this point would only serve to feed your apparent desire for unprovoked confrontation with myself and other members of this site, and in so doing, would also undermine the integrity of this forum by dragging it down to your level.

You, of course, may continue to get off to your rocks off to your own attacks and trollish commentary until you get banned. Hopefully that will happen sooner, rather than later. You're really starting to stink this place up.

Try not to be too saddened over this, okay? I will always treasure our time together. The fond memories of our first kiss on the Ferris wheel, the way you used to hold me at night and nibble on my ear, and...our first time...in the elevator...will live on forever. But our relationship, sadly, must come to an end. Don't cry, Snoogie Wooggums. There is a man out there for you. He's just...not me.

Forever yours,

Your beloved turdy

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

_______
"...you guys are missing the genius of Turdgutson's idea. We should certainly not be shitting in the sink, but why not invent a Toilet Disposal? Your tampon, giant turd, or some hooker's hand won't flush? Just flip a switch!" - SamDamnit

Haha twas not I who started the slander and abuse. Remember that troll.

"77 comments -'d for -104 total points"

Your profile. No stories. Nothing. Just pure abuse. Banned you say?

Wow, this story has a lot of comments, way to go!

Multiple comments do not a great story make.

_______
"...I once ate a roadkill possum that had been raised on a diet of carp. I cooked it over a fire fueled with old tires and dog shit. [My fart] put to shame the sewers of Calcutta."
- ChiefThunderbutt

Do I detect a hint of sarcasm in that comment VD?

Can't we all just shit-along
together?

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

OK, I'm new to this site and I don't know a whole lot. After reading this, I realized that I should expect some critisicm. If there's something I'm missing, SOMEBODY please tell me because I'm not takin' a shine to ol' Chocolate over yonder.

I have to give your props for the creativity of your story. However, your beast-like descriptions have set me off bowel movements for awhile.

Keep up the writing!