charming. How I wish I could have visited when Miss Ellie was in her prime so she could take dump on my lap. How cute.

First post rulez!

I once had a girlfriend that had a Westie (white, Toto-like dog that is basically a white Scottie).

While visiting at her home for two days, I she allowed the dog outside to poop and then took it into the kitchen to wipe its butt with Bounty Paper Towells (which are designed for wiping any sort of mammal ass).

I broke up with her the next day. There are a few things a woman just CANNOT do: listen to John Mayer, think Kevin Federline is cute, and go on Jerry Springer, and wiping a dog's butt in the kitchen.

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Your Baby Ate My Dingo

She DOES kind of look like a baby pig! :) She is pretty cute though. Although my dog is getting to be pretty gassy in her old age (I think it's that senior dog food...it must have a lot of fiber in it)...she's never sharted before. She'll usually fart and then look around and sniff the air and then look up at you as if to say "Was that me?" lol. Dogs are so hilarious sometimes.

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An apple a day keeps the ExLax away!

You will see Miss Ellie at The Rainbow Bridge.I don't think we fart and poop in heaven because they are body functions and only the sole goes to heaven.I guess that means there may not be a heavenly edition of Poop Report

My sister had dog named Buddy that would walk up to you, look straight up at you until he locked your gaze and then let loose. I swear that I think it was only to gauge his victim's reaction.

Such poopches provide convenient social cover for the rest of us. They are the reason why we, no matter how obviously guilty we are, we can always say "I wasn't me. It must have been the dog."

At the far end of the Rainbow Bridge is a steaming heap of Chihuahua poop, a sure sign that Ellie has passed on and is waiting for you.

A few years ago while watching the Eukanuba Breeders Cup Dog show there was this Dalmatian and while he was being walked around he let loose with a nice juicy crap. So the crowd laughs and applauds the dog proceeds to look around as if to say oh you want an encore? He takes another crap right there on the show floor. It was a classic moment!
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

TC, did the owner pick it up with a left over produce bag? No matter how many times I've seen this, it busts me up to watch the dogwalker immediately grab the doggy dookie. I wonder if, while half-asleep still and operating in reflex mode, someone has reached down to snatch up the dookie from the dog only to realize that they forget to plastic bag on their hand first.

I never understood how someone can pick up their dog's dookie right after it's been dropped. All warm and squishy and stinky, and only a thin produce or shopping bag in between it and your hand????? EWWWW! Maybe that's why I always prefered cats!

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

"Chihuahuas have trachea problems, so they snort a lot (usually after age four); and so Ellie was often mistaken for a baby pot belly pig."
Sounds like how my dog (a black and white Shih Tzu) has been mistaken for a skunk before.
This is a bit off topic, but did anyone notice that "Shih Tzu" is pronounced a lot like "Shit Zoo"?

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...and they all lived crappily ever after!

We have friends who have such misbehaved dogs that my kids are afraid to visit their home. But they just yap and nip and jump on you. At least they don't spray shit.

Yet.

I'm sorry for your loss; Ellie was a cute pooch!

Only the sole goes to Heaven?!? Does that mean I can't take my trout, or that I can't take my laces and uppers?

I have two pits, and the amount of crap they produce is trophy worthy. I ALWAYS double bag before picking up! And dog owners have to pick up immediately, or else some asshole screams about how irresponsible we are and blah blah blah. Never fails.
But yes, giant hot turds are pretty gross. Often hilarious though.

Depends on the animal, WPT. If the dog only leaves "tootsie rolls," then it's a "She Su." However, if you feed the critter an wide and varied diet that produces technicolor poo (like we did with our little b&w fuzzballs), then calling them "shit zoo" would be appropriate.

Are yours the pug-faced (flat) or the Llasa-faced (small muzzle) poopchies?

It's a purebred Shih Tzu, but it has the Lhasa type face. When he was a puppy, he had more of a pug face, but then it changed.

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...and they all lived crappily ever after!

The best way to honor your beloved pet when it passes is to cook it and eat it. Really. That way the creature becomes a part of you -literally - that you can always keep.

Did you actually do that, DungDaddy?! I could see doing that with a fish or a bird, but what if it's a dog or a cat? Eating another carnivorous animal... *shudder*.
Don't let daphne know you do that...

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...and they all lived crappily ever after!

I never did it. I only had one pet I ever really loved, he was a dog named Otis. Didn't ocurr to me until years after his death.

Daphne will understand.

My Jack Russell loves to eat cat poop too. He'll dig it up with his little paws and then scarf it down before I can stop him. Judging by how much he coughs and sputters afterwards, cat poop must be spicy (and I still let him lick my face).

The best way to honor your beloved pet when it passes is to cook it and eat it.

I've always thought that would be a good way to dispose of dead relatives, but I suppose it might be a disease vector.

Bad luck with your pet going belly up. I remember wiping my ass with one of those weird dogs in Mexico years ago.

Must ... not ... write ... "yo quiero Taco Bell."

Well, here we go, again expanding our horizons to include crap stories about other species. I must remember to search the site for stories about birds that shit on things. Those stories are a hoot! And, hopefully, there's a long, involved story about the earthworm and how it's essentially a shitting machine that burrows through the earth leaving a continuous trail of dung. Adorable! And maybe one about a cat that liked to drop loaves in its owners shoes! Tee hee! Remarkably quaint and funny!
Many yucks to be found in those animal crapper stories! Keep 'em coming!

Just wait until you read the story about my friend's constipated cat spraying crap all over the living room, then...

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...and they all lived crappily ever after!

Can't wait for that one, although I'd sure like to hear a werewolf poop story...maybe one where the werewolf can only crap if given a silver suppository during a full moon.
Or one where Dr. Fartenstein creates a monster assembled from crap and activates during an electrical storm when a bolt of lightning ignites a fart, bringing the turd creature to life.
Rats, maybe these should be saved for next Halloween...

Sounds interesting, but trust me, you do not want to read a story like that... absolutely horrifying. Go ask Dr. Fartenstein for that story, he knows it better than I do.

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...and they all lived crappily ever after!

South of the Border Collie sounds very much like PatMcGroin.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Vlad, maybe take your werewolf story request over to the Harry Potter fanfic writers. They might be able to oblige you. Maybe that's the REAL reason Lupin has a rough time each full moon.

Hey! Don't be silly! A silver suppository would probably kill Remus! Lupin likes to take his werewolf shits in the forbidden forrest and/or outside the Shreiking Shack like a nice little Wolfie! He's still part human, you know.

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'Hey that sounds pretty nasty, how about a courtesy flush over there?' (AP1)

I just happen to be a Harry Potter fanfic writer, and if I wasn't already currently working on a fic, I'd definitely use that idea, except I'd write it about Fenrir (read the 6th book if you don't know who that is) instead of Lupin.
I actually read a fanfic once where Lupin ate Wormtail's silver hand and Moody had to cut it out of his stomach because he'd "never be able to pass it as a human". If I ever find that story again, I'll let you know where to find it.

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...and they all lived crappily ever after!

My Mom's dog was eager to "finish business" and play with a family friend who was in the house. The dog hurried her poo then ran inside,wiped her butt on the back-door(har-har) rug and greeted the friend.
Additionaly, she and the other dog like cat poop so much that they will lick the cats' butt.