Mum Broke The Log Jam
My mother only told me this story a few days ago about something that happened to her shortly after she got married. She and Dad were living in a less expensive area in Grand Junction,Colorado where Dad then worked. He would walk to work, and Mum had the car for shopping, etc. She told me that she had been suffering from constipation for about five days and was determined to get her bowels moving before she became ill. She took a dose of Ex-Lax when she went to bed that night and thought it would work when she got up in the morning; however in the morning there was nothing happening. After dad left for work, she decided to go out to shop for the dinner that night. When she remembered how popcorn had made her poop easily as a kid about one hour after eating some, she decided to buy some while she was shopping.
While shopping at the grocery store, she bought a bag of popcorn. Then she adjourned to a nearby coffee shop where she proceeded to eat all the popcorn and enjoy a large hot coffee. During her day she had been walking quite a bit, too -- in the store and back and forth in the parking area. After her coffee she got into the car to drive home, now filled with popcorn and Ex-Lax. When she pulled out of the car park, she joined a slowly moving line of traffic heading her way,and before long she found that it all stopped; a truck had dropped a load of steel pipes in the street and a second truck had arrived with a crane to clear the obstruction. Traffic would be stopped for about ten minutes, a cop told her.
Well, The cop's ten minutes were not the same as her ten minutes, and she said the wait seemed like ages. While she waited, the dormant Ex-Lax woke up and combined with the popcorn, making her bowels grumble. There was no way to go forward, no way to go back, and no way to turn off to go around; so everyone just waited,with Mum getting more desperate every minute.
At last the pipes were cleared away and traffic moved again, but she was still fifteen minutes from home, and her bowels were straining for action. She clenched her cheeks tight as long as she could, but she said a very soft poop forced its way out into her pants as she drove, nonetheless. It would still be ten minutes before she got home.
Knowing there was no way she could hold it inside any longer, she admitted defeat and just relaxed. The combined efforts of popcorn and Ex-Lax made her bowels explode and filled her pants with almost a week's worth of soft, warm poop that spread to every place it could find, including up beyond her waistband into her shirt. When she arrived home she left the groceries in the car and waddled inside, where she climbed into the shower fully clothed. She said that she washed each item of clothing as she took it off and then washed her skin until it once more showed the right color. She dumped her clothes in the washer, put fresh ones on, and brought the groceries in from the car. She learned the hard way that patience was all that Ex-Lax needed to work.