Mum Broke The Log Jam

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m 1+ points - Newb
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My mother only told me this story a few days ago about something that happened to her shortly after she got married. She and Dad were living in a less expensive area in Grand Junction,Colorado where Dad then worked. He would walk to work, and Mum had the car for shopping, etc. She told me that she had been suffering from constipation for about five days and was determined to get her bowels moving before she became ill. She took a dose of Ex-Lax when she went to bed that night and thought it would work when she got up in the morning; however in the morning there was nothing happening. After dad left for work, she decided to go out to shop for the dinner that night. When she remembered how popcorn had made her poop easily as a kid about one hour after eating some, she decided to buy some while she was shopping.

While shopping at the grocery store, she bought a bag of popcorn. Then she adjourned to a nearby coffee shop where she proceeded to eat all the popcorn and enjoy a large hot coffee. During her day she had been walking quite a bit, too -- in the store and back and forth in the parking area. After her coffee she got into the car to drive home, now filled with popcorn and Ex-Lax. When she pulled out of the car park, she joined a slowly moving line of traffic heading her way,and before long she found that it all stopped; a truck had dropped a load of steel pipes in the street and a second truck had arrived with a crane to clear the obstruction. Traffic would be stopped for about ten minutes, a cop told her.

Well, The cop's ten minutes were not the same as her ten minutes, and she said the wait seemed like ages. While she waited, the dormant Ex-Lax woke up and combined with the popcorn, making her bowels grumble. There was no way to go forward, no way to go back, and no way to turn off to go around; so everyone just waited,with Mum getting more desperate every minute.

At last the pipes were cleared away and traffic moved again, but she was still fifteen minutes from home, and her bowels were straining for action. She clenched her cheeks tight as long as she could, but she said a very soft poop forced its way out into her pants as she drove, nonetheless. It would still be ten minutes before she got home.

Knowing there was no way she could hold it inside any longer, she admitted defeat and just relaxed. The combined efforts of popcorn and Ex-Lax made her bowels explode and filled her pants with almost a week's worth of soft, warm poop that spread to every place it could find, including up beyond her waistband into her shirt. When she arrived home she left the groceries in the car and waddled inside, where she climbed into the shower fully clothed. She said that she washed each item of clothing as she took it off and then washed her skin until it once more showed the right color. She dumped her clothes in the washer, put fresh ones on, and brought the groceries in from the car. She learned the hard way that patience was all that Ex-Lax needed to work.

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13 Comments on "Mum Broke The Log Jam"

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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So, since your profile lists your favorite bathroom as, "in my panties," and your favorite toilet as, "in my car," you are just following a family tradition?

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous's picture
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This is why the story seems fake to me. There's no context for why her mom just felt the need to tell her this story a few days ago, the situation is very formulaic, and the wording (soft, warm, etc.) sounds perverted. I still say she's a scat freak.

the thin brown line's picture
j 1000+ points
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Must have smelled pretty bad in that car.

Somethin' mysterious made an exit from the gift shop.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Hmm...the humor seems to have disappeared...lately all we are getting is "I shit my pants" stories...stories that could be submitted just as that..."I shit my pants. The End" "My mum shit her pants. The End"

PR is suffering from writers' constipation.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
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It would not be the first time.

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Anonymous's picture
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It is the dumbing-down of America; even our toilet humor is in decline.

Dr Scully's picture
l 100+ points
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I blame those FiberOne products. Is it possible everyone is suddenly a regular pooper?

Poop John the First's picture
l 100+ points
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I've always thought a better name for Ex-Lax would have been Pop a Poop! When are they going to come out with a timed and release version - a kind of poop on demand laxative? Let's get a proctologically inclined scientist working on it.

P.S. I think maybe that was/is the enema. I can still see my mom coming at me with that contraption!

Spreading the turd one poop at a time.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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I am seldom constipated but the few times I have been, usually thanks to taking pain killers,, I have been helped by Dulcolax® Laxative Suppositories. No lengthy wait has been necessary, just stick one up the old cornhole and relief is forthcoming, or outgoing (?) in no more than an hour.

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous's picture
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I thought jumping into the shower fully clothed was a great tip. Someone ought to send it to Heloise!

PantypoopingBarbara's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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I use chili to make myself poop.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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PpB, Do you eat the chilies or stimulate your colon by sticking them up your ass?

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Beelzebutt's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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I, for one, have to laugh at this story, at least a little. As it happens I live in Grand Junction, Colorado. It is a relatively small town so a 15 minute drive around here would truly be from one end of town to the other.

Though the author didn't say how long ago this occurred, it is plausible that a load of pipes could have been dumped on the road ( along with the load of pipe in her mothers pants) since we do have something of an oil and gas industry out here. Nevertheless, it strikes me as a little, shall we say,embellished. Coming from someone who admittedly has a panty-pooping fetish, this story comes off as a liberal retelling of a sharting snafu in transit from the grocery store.

In any case, it is good to know there a other poopReporters dwelling in my very own home town.

Oh my god!!! The smell!!!!!!