I saw one of those "news" documentaries recently about the worst offenders in sanitary violations in the fast food business. Arbys was number one on the list. They had video of employees scratching their nuts/twats while making food, dropping shit on the floor and serving it, etc. You were lucky to survive.

You went to an Arby's and there were no freakin' roast beef sandwiches? What the hell!!! I would have been pissed.

And how the hell do they fit a murder mystery theater into a fast food joint? Yours must be bigger in Ohio.

Pizza Hut is running a promotion.If you buy 2 pies,they will paint your house and throw in a free pair of underware.

Many of us have friends or children of friends who worked in fast food joints when they were younger. All I know is that nobody I know who has ever worked backstage at one of those things ever wants to eat there again.

C. Everett, you'd better be reading some of the posts, my man. I nominated you for President last night on "Poop Reporter of the Year 2005."

And AB2K, while I've got you here, go look at my first original post on the forums and see if I did it right.

Dang man. Arby's is the shiz. You should go there more often since it's so delicious.

Murder mystery dinner -- what a concept. You're a real sport (read "fool") to go. So where is it you drag your wife where she doesn't want to go?

Dumpster, I accept your nomination for the presidency.

I will eat a lot of crappy food, but Arby's is too much. Yucko!

SamDamnit!
Rectum Rector
of
The Church of Poop
http://groups.myspace.com/THECHURCHOFPOOP

After dining at Arby's I can smell the roast beef odor in my load.

A murder mystery at an Arby's? What's next, crime solving with speaker headphones? Dick Van Dyke starring in "Diagnosis: Trichinosis"?

Arbys, mm, I love the smell of rotting red meat in my colon.

A murder mystery at an Arby's, I just keep feeling sorrier and sorrier for you Doniker.

Doniker, you are officially back on the horse.

Two enthusiastic poopy thumbs up for this one.

.....hugging bunnies since 1969

THere are three fast-food joints I never go to. Arbys, Hardees, and PIzza hut. Arbys because its too expensive to buy the king size fries. Hardees becuase they charge you for your honey mustard and BBQ, and Pizza Hut b/c I always have 1 billion sharts after going there, and extrem bloating.

Now Cici's pizza on the other hand (All you can eat for only 3.99 except in VA where it's all you can eat for only 6.99) I go there and have about 10 pounds of pizza and garlic bread. Then i go home, see that I weigh 200 pounds, and shit it all out. THen I go there again and eat all their salad and pasta and dessert pizza, and repeat. Lastly I finish off with eating all the brownies, cinnabons, and Sprite I can drink. (Also I beat all the arcade games)

Then my wife gets all pissed off at me for stuffing my face 3 times in a weekend. A bottle of expesive wine (difficult on a teacher's salary but worth it for going to Cici's) and some under the sheets time fixes it up good though.

KeepOnCrappin, I have beent o CiCi's pizza in Kentucky, and the one thing I remember about that place more than anything is the people who eat 20 pieces of pizza, but only eat the middle. Next to their plates will be a pile of crusts that could feed a family of four.

I hate that.

But, I loved CiCi's. It was wonderful when money was tight, which was often.

.....hugging bunnies since 1969

What I want to read is a story about KeepOnCrappin at Kentucky Fried Chicken, (obviously) entitled "KOC at KFC."

I normally don't like to post comments on my own stories but I will be a "sport" tonight.

AB2K. Hi. Long time no talk. I don't know if you are familiar with Murder Mystery Dinner Theater but it is interactive with the crowd; it can be held anywhere. There is no real stage or props or anything, just actors mingling with the crowd telling a story and doing their thing. It's like the game "Clue" being narrated.

Logjam. What's up. My wife loves your comments and the way you stick up for her...you have a fan for life in her.

bunga, don't feel sorry for me, my alcoholic brother.
If it wasn't for my wife I would have died years ago or at least me drunk in a gutter tonight.

O great Doniker,
What is the rationale
Behind your moniker?

C. Everett is right on this one. Some people who work in fast food joints are really gross. I have found suspicious items in my food, especially here in Oregon where everyone hates their job and I suspect they do it on purpose.

Arby's is nasty whether an Oregon worker serves your food or not. They seem to give you a piece of old meat and two pieces of stale bread. If you want anything on it it's extra.

Nothing is worse than constipation when you know what you ate should have liquified your insides.

Happy trails,
L. Wrong
Chairman & CEO, PPK Industries

Doniker: This was really funny right from "Dinner Theater at Arbys". Did you make that up? Either word "dinner" or "theater" combined with Arbys is funny but all three together are really funny. I also award you additional comic points for " Leroux Blackberry Brandy". Throw in "tray after tray of cold, pre-prepared hoagie sandwiches" and the "burned out hillbilly biker" blocking the door to the toilet and we have another poopreport classic.

Excellent.

Daphne, I think you have the makings of a new restaurant. "Pile 'O Crust". All-you-can-eat for $1.99. Feed a family of 4 for under $10! ......No use wasting anything.

And I'll provide the crust.
--
No, I actually eat the crust.

Dumpster, there is a KFC within walking distance of my house (actually the only food joint w/in 5 miles and I don't usually go there b/c it sucks, which annoys me. My Cici's is 7 miles, but its up a horrendusly crowded and backed up becuase all the people from Dulles International and the tourists going to the New Air and Space museum use it.

Damn commie tourists.

Oh crap shouldn't have told people where I live.

Well, move here to Stewsburg, where we all drive our gas-guzzling SUV's even if we're just going next door.

Daphne has a post going over in the forums about the "worst culinary combinations," that is really a gas. I noted that, just down the street from me, there is a Mexican restaurant, next door to a drugstore, next door to a funeral home. Go figure.

This is my first day being a user on pr and i feel quite happy about it.Ive been a lurker now for about 2 years(i think) and I have decided to come out of hiding. So lets cut to the chase.This was f'ing halarious and i hope, doniker,that you can keep squeezing out more shit like that.

untill next time,
-wildshit2000

The wise man once said "It is not smart to play leapfrog with a unicorn."

Okay! WD2K, it is even less smart to play unicorn with a leapfrog (esp. if you are the frog!).

Some days you're the windshield, other days you're the bug.

Or, as our Kipling aficionado bunga din would appreciate:

The toad beneath the harrow knows,
Where each and every toothpoint goes.
The butterfly upon the road,
Preaches contentment to that toad.

That was nice Dumpster, now tell me that one about the guy from Nantucket.

There once was a guy from Nantucket,
Who put all his poop in a bucket.
But when Bunga Din
Tried to put some MORE in,
He threw it all out and said,

"Bunga, get your own damn crapper!"

Sorry; I meant "bunga," not "dunga," above. It takes time to shed the vestiges of civilzation.

Doniker, you are a stallion. I give credit to a guy who will eat that much. Because he can.

What about credit to me? I get in eating contests. I go to Cici's

My record: 5 Large DOminoes Pizzas and 12 cans of Sprite. DAmn that was some tough stuff.

That is the classiest theatre experience I've heard about in a long time. Was there a Boone's Farm and Kraft Singles reception with the actors afterwards?

Why no. It was a Boone's Farm and Wild Irish Rose ensemble accompanied by Cheeze Whiz. The Kraft Singles were too highbrow.

I'm sorry. That just fell off the keyboard and onto the screen. However, I think it's cool there's a man out there who will do "stupid shit" for his wife. That's kind of nice.

.....hugging bunnies since 1969

Yes, Doniker has once again shown us "one man's pain is another man's gain".

Cheeze Whiz... ahhh, priceless.

OMG, Doniker, this story had everything. The murder, the mystery meat, volatile shit, sweet liqueur no one should consume....

I wonder how many of the 'patrons of the art' had wished they were "bumped off" before they had a chance to partake of that sumptuous buffet. I have to say you were a good sport to attend the function.

I worked in a family-style sit-down restaurant during my college years. What went on in the kitchen was disgusting (food being dropped on the slats and served anyway). I can only imagine it is magnified by 10 times in a fast-food restaurant kitchen.

How did this event happen in an Arby's? Was the Arby's closed during the event? Or were other customers still going in and out and ordering 5 bbq's to go? How did that work?

Oh my word, KOC. You ate 5 large pizzas and drank 12 sprites in one sitting?!

I see heart disease in your future.

GGG: Probably one of the "actors" had an in at the local Arby's and convinced the manager to rent it out at an agreed-upon rate for the event---closed to the general public

FP: While I agree with your sentiment about the unheathful intake of fat, heart disease is largely a predisposed type disease.

Yes, you're right. I should have worded that a different way. There are some factors ,that cannot be helped, that lead to heart disease (age, gender-men have a higher risk, and genetics).

But, even if you are neither old, a man, nor have a genetic predisposition to heart disease things like smoking, not exercising, stress, being obese, drinking alcohol in excess and having high blood pressure and cholesterol are likely to buy you a ticket to heart disease. Obesity, by itself, will make a person more likely to get heart disease even if they don't have any of the other risk factors.
Either way, KOC has admitted to being overweight and having a piss poor diet. So let me rephrase:
Sorry KOC, if you keep going the way you're going, you're very likely to have heart disease in the future.

I still think of this incident everytime I see a Pizza Hut commercial.

I'm brain dead. I thought this was my Pizza Hut/shitting my pants story.

That's why I made the previous comment.