That sounds HORRIABLE. Both my in laws have the stomach flu right now. I was thinking about visiting them, but I think I'll just call them now. Who helped you clean up?

OK. So what is gastroenteritis?

A rather nondescript term for stomach/intestinal bug. This ususally is a relatively short lived self limiting infectious process that causes the symptoms described above. You shit til you're afraid you're gonna die, then shit some more til you're afraid you won't die.

That's what you get for eating bagged spinach!

DD, stomach flu.
http://www.webmd.com/hw/health_guide_atoz/sts15285.asp

Gastroenteritis is the catch-all term for irritation and inflammation of the digestive tract. This condition may cause abdominal pain, vomiting and diarrhea. Severe cases of gastroenteritis can result in dehydration.

Food poisoning, stress, excessive alcohol or tobacco use, viral infections, food allergies, improper diet, certain drugs, food consumed in foreign countries and intestinal parasites are all possible causes for this condition.

Gastroenteritis caused by viral infection or bacteria is easily passed from one person to another. Care should always be taken to wash the hands often, especially when preparing food and after bowel movements.

This condition is most common in the winter. It is quite often referred to as "stomach flu".

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Always looking out for number two!

Don’t like when this happens.
It’s no fun.
Each time this happens it’s bad.

From what I have learned,
Anyone can get this.
Guess we can’t stop it.
Such is life.

* Gastroenteritis *

I will give your bowels pain,
You'll have liquishits - its just that plain.
To no avail you'll writhe and moan,
Shit some more and grunt and groan.
No mercy I give, but if you rebuke,
I'll twist your guts and make you puke.
In the bowl, on the pot
Yours is a dismal stinking lot.
So when your friends have stomach flu,
Look out, next I'll come for you.

Nothing good ever comes out of the shit-puke combo. I'd do it in the tub just to keep it all in one area

Usually if I get like that, which is very rare it is from food poisening. You think it might have been something you ate?

I'm sorry you had to go through that healthy 1. Great story though. I agree with Rottenshit, the gastro flu is never good. I had it back in January and the only thing I could think to do was shit on the toilet while I held a trash can in front of me to puke in.

I have a trash can next to the toilet that's usually less than half full, leaving plenty of room to puke in it if I need to.

healthy 1, I'm glad you're better now!

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Damnit, someone stole my signature!

AAP, I cleaned myself up. Because I was blessed with an indestructable ass, I made it to the toilet every time. The only messes I made were when I would move the wrong way. I Put my feet on the seat and squatted, balancing myself so I could both shit and hurl into the toilet simultaneously. I started taking lots of vitamin C the following year. I have not had the stomach bug ever since. After that night, never again.
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Jammin' lo'flo's since 1977.

Healthy1, if I were to attempt the position that you just described, the stomach flu would be the least of my problems. I am sure I would end up with at the very least a horrible concussion from falling off the toilet onto my head.
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Always looking out for number two!

A similar thing happened to me a couple of months ago. However, my sink and toilet are in different rooms. Answer?
I dumped out the contents of the little trash can next to the toilet, maintained a safe seated position, and let hurl into the trash can on my lap.
Better a bit of trash on the floor and a can to be washed out than having pungeant effluvia from both ends graffitied hither and yon.
Thus endeth today's lesson.

Hey healthy1, Vitamin C will do absolutely no good for gastroenteritis. What you had was probably some type of food poisoning caused by either a virus or bacterial infection. Vitamin C will not affect either of these, no matter what anybody tells you -- trust me.

As noted in the heading, this happened to me way back in '96, over ten years ago. I picked this ailment up from my mother, who woked in a nursing home at the time (always around sick patients). I am convinced that the vitamin C (and zinc losenges) are what have kept me free of sickness for the last consecutive ten years. I even worked in a room full of employees, all with the stomach bug one year, and remained symptom free. They were all running back and forth to the mens / ladies room, puking their brains out, I never even had a sniffle.
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Jammin' lo'flo's since 1977.

My bathroom is so small, that I can brush my teeth and gargle, while I sit on the pot. I just spit in to the sink. If I had to puke while doing the dumpy dance, I could lean in to the sink or the bath tub. I would also have the trash can as an option. I guess I am ready for anything.
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Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

Dehydration is serious. Its a good thing you were smart and took yourself to the ER when your brain and body could still function well enough to get you there.

If dehydration is bad enough, you get dotty and cant think rationally.

In addition to zinc lozenges and vitamin C the other important way to prevent getting sick is to wash your hands frequently throughout the day. Carry a little bottle of alcohol gel hand wash sanitizer whereever you go and use it as often as possible. Keep bottles of it within reach in your desk, your house, your gym bag.

Bathtub or shower is the solution to this one. the warm water is comforting and clensing.

They should seriously consider changing the name of the disease. Gastrontiritis. By what you described, it isn't just gas irritation.

Log, you crack me up.

It's "gastroENteritis", not "irrititus". :P

Gastro means stomach, entro refers to the colon, and itis means disease of. I think that pretty much covers what was described.

Glad you survived that incident, I think you had a mad case of food poisoning. Regardless, lots of fluids and more humor :) Take care of that colon so you can poop on! Lots more roughage....but no spinach for now :) Conquering the world, one poop at a time....

I sympathize with you, healthy_1. My stint working at a law firm in India this summer for 2 months gave me some sort of parasite or bug my doctors haven't been able to treat yet. I'm home, and it's going on 4 months of gross shit now, although I only once pooped my pants by vomiting simultaneously. It was on my birthday. The rest of the time I've made it consistently to the bathroom, thank Buddha.

Ah..the Hurly Whirliees! You have to decide what is more urgent..puke or shit..make the right choice and you are golden, make the wrong one and it's a mess.

But then, get them together and you have to decide which one you want to be covered in. Always pick the puke.

Funny how a bad case of the pukes with or without shits ALWAYS starts in the evening.

When you start getting sick in the evening, you end up also losing a night's sleep. Why does it never start in the morning? Then you could be sick all day and probably be done by that night, ready to sleep like a baby. Those things are always exhausting, better to at least have the advantage of a full nights sleep behind you when you deal with it.

pinny is right, always choose puke to be covered in.

i have seen one worse, it's called "the trifecta" i saw it at a frat halloween party, or maybe it was a costume party, or maybe the guy just looked like harry potter. anyway the point is you shit piss and puke all at the same time, and it's pretty horrific, i'll have to write it up sometime.

The strain of shitting might or might not make you puke, but the strain of puking will always make you shit. I have had my head in the bowl a number of times, in the middle of a good puke, and had a sudden sensation that I was about to shit too. I have puked so hard it made me fart once...good thing it was gas, but if there was any shit at the door, I would have sprayed shit out behind me.

Thanks poophacker, and welcome aboard. I was reading your profile, have you planned your escape?

I think I'll pass on the trifecta. A person who can pee, poop, puke, and get it all in the bowl, is a true bowlmaster._______
Jammin' lo'flo's since 1977.

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juicyturds
what a bad expierence

I feel for you. My twin sister went through the same thing but in our 3rd grades class bathroom

I've been lucky when I've gotten the flu- usually it starts sometime in the evening with a land speed record trip to the bathroom as the flu reacts with dinner from earlier that night. All plans for the next several days are immediately canceled and I forego all food and drink except for Sprite- anything else consumed will be puked or pooped out quickly and I can't move fast enough to the bathroom- one of those times my disability situation really does become a major problem.

What's always been a mystery to me is how I catch the flu- when I start feeling it I know I haven't been around anyone who's been sick.

I lived through this last night and I still have some of it today ... it started with doubling over stomach cramps so bad I thought I should go to the hospital! If child birth is worse then that then count me out.
Your story made me smile which after last night is a hard thing to do! all I can say is thankgod my sink and toilet are side by side.

Gastroentiritis is sheer hell, I would not wish it on my worst enemy. Well, actually I would, especially if they'd really pissed me off. I've had gastro twice now, with the second bout being suffered as I write.
My first experience with gastro gave me a night of fatigue, nausea and fever - and that was the easy part. From the second night onwards I was visiting the toilet every 10-15 minutes. I would piss liquid shit out my arse, go back to bed and then within minutes I could feel my rectum fill with liquid again. It was hell, sheer hell.

Fortunately I have been prepared this time around with anti-diarrhoea tablets. I haven't had the shits this time, I just feel like shit.

stomach flu is also common in children due to their unhygienic habits

i have it now,and i'm in clip. day 4 now....