Lucky for you Target sells underwear. This is a very good story and lesson on gall bladders. Best wishes and recovery to you.

"I watched my daughter engage everyone with her infectious smile as she ate her fries."

I can't believe you would give french fries to a 6 month old baby.
Not only is it wrong to start the child off at a young age liking unhealthy foods but the baby could choke on the fries.

Be careful.

Ask your doc for some Questran, to stop the bile salt diarrhea. I also want to second the suggestion about those fries. They're nasty for anyone, much less an infant.

This is a scenario where one of those "papoose" packs would have been handy.

SamDamnit!
Rectum Rector
of
The Church of Poop
http://www.myspace.com/saintcarnivean

Some people don't want to believe HOT women poop, HOT being the key word and myself being one of those people. Dukey could still be a 300 pound chain smoking troll with coffee can ankles and that is the way I prefer to imagine women who write stories like this. Also, she could stand to tone down the "precious", "beautiful" and "infectious" rhetoric about her own kid. It's not like she is talking about my dogs.

I was in a McDonalds at The Staten Island Mall when a woman asked her young son to wait for her outside the ladie's room.In a voice loud enough for everybody to hear,he yelled out "Do you have poop?"Alot of people cracked up.

Smart move on putting the paper towels on the floor. I would have been in such a panic I probably would have put my kid on the floor and sanatized the hell outta his hands. I'm not sure if the stress incontinence ever goes away. I tried doing those Kegel exercises for years with no luck. The constant threat of the the unwelcome waterfall sucks.

There must be something with McDonalds - my son blurted out as loud as he could "Mommy I farted!" when I was at the counter. There were alot of chuckles there too.

The thought of a six-month-old eating fries ruined this story for me.
Not only is that insane, isn't it those kinds of foods that lead to gall bladder problems?

Your mother & aunt had their gall bladders removed. Then you did. Are you letting your daughter eat like this because you know it's inevitable that she'll have to have hers removed one day as well?

Good luck to you.

There is nothing in this story that says day after day after day my infant daughter eats fries. She just happened to gnaw and slobber on a few on this day. What would you prefer that she gnaw on hard carrot and celery and take the risk of choking? I am so sure that would have been much safer and less of a hazard than a limp french fry. And it would take a lot more than a eating a few fries for her to have her gallbladder removed.

Perhaps you would have preferred me to say that I was feeding her, her own poop. You know breastfed babies poop is supposed to be really good for cleansing purposes, among other things, check it out on curezone.com. I am sure that would have made for a much more pleasant reading experience.

Please be assured she did not suffer any ill effects from the fries that day, and her diet today does not consist of them too often, thank you for your concern. It is not because we all eat fries that the women in my family got their gall bladders removed. Apparently it is just hereditary and if you are susceptible to this problem, greasy foods don't help. Alas, the reason why I probably wasn't eating them. Lots of people who eat at a place like McDonald's everyday have no signs of gallbladder disease.

If you don't like the story, fine, to each his own. No need to judge.

She didn't deny being a 300 pound troll so I feel better now.

Sorry, got worked up. Thanks for reminding me. I do deny being a 300 pound troll. I'm as cute as my daughter and probably your dogs, though I don't have all the fat rolls and pudgy thighs.

Easy there, girl.
Did I imply that I thought you fed your six month old fries "day after day after day"?
As a mommy that feeds my children healthy snacks and food, I would never, ever prefer a mother to give her baby raw carrots and celery.
So, quit trying to turn this into a choking issue when clearly, I am concerned about your beautiful daughter's trans-fat and oil consumption.
Another thing, I guess you're not clear about the fact that we at PoopReport do not condone the practice of eating feces. Breast-fed cleansing properties or not.

Di Uhreea, let me just say that I'm glad you're not my mom. Let me guess, you make your kids wear helmets all day, too? If you stop trying to control every single thing in your child's life now, maybe he/she has a chance to learn on their own, and maybe grow up and be a normal human being some day. Dukey, don't listen to this twat.

Ironically, I got to publish the comment by Browncock.

Also as ironic, I wrote a letter to the editor of my newspaper about parents & schools nowadays being "too safe" and to let the kids get hurt and climb so they can learn!
Out schools are pulling out playground equipment that is over three feet or doesn't have pea gravel underneath.
Grass is dangerous!
BTW, my kids wear helmets while they ride their bikes, skateboards or scooters. If they did these activities all day, I guess they'd wear the helmets all day...

Hey Browncock, the child in question is 6 MONTHS old, not 6 years old. I question why fries were used instead of a teething biscuit too but hey it's not my child. Enjoy the story for what it was, a mom in shitstress.

How much transfat and oil are in a few fries? Not much. Did I imply that my baby girl ate a ton of fries? I don't think so. Did I imply that she does not eat healthy snacks at times other than this one? I don't think so. YOU should quit trying to turn this into a point your-finger-fest-at-a-mom-who-gave-her-child-some-fries-at-one-time and stop trying to be a martyr.

I didn't make it a choking issue, someone else did. I didn't even making a baby-eating fry issue, you did. I thought this was Poop Report, not Judge Judyreea. Like I said, don't judge. You don't like the story, fine. But don't judge me because I have given my child fries. And no I don't condone eating feces of any kind. My point was, whether it be carrots and celery, fries or breast fed feces, there is a appropriate time and place for everything. Unless moderation is used, anything can be bad for you.

Let's think here, has anyone else reading this story ever had a 6 month old child? So you would never give them fries, okay, that's fine. But what if you did? What do you think they would do with them? Would they gobble them all down and rinse it off with a Coke? I don't think so. They would probably do like my girl did, gnaw on them, drool on them, maybe swallow a few microscopic bites, and use them for a teething ring. But hey, next time in a Big Box store snack bar with a 6 month old baby, I'll doublecheck the diaper bag for a biscuit before maybe ordering a popsicle or the dreaded fries. Or maybe not.

Can't we all get along?

doniker stirs up a little debate.

this feels good....just like old times.

I thought this was an excellent story. It was well written and easy to follow and empathize with. Although I did take notice of the fries, I did also consider the points that Dukey made about just eating a few microscopic bites at that young age so I was able to get over it pretty quickly and move on. The gall bladder info made it educational as well as entertaining. I hung on every word, waiting for Dukie to poop on the floor at Target. (Not that I was pulling against her)
------------------------------------------
Five foot two,
Eyes of blue,
Little poop stains on her shoe,
Has anybody seen my Gall?
------------------------------------------
There's a corporate bladder joke in here somewhere too.

I just finished PMS'ing a few days ago.
Apparently, you're just beginning.

Di Uhreea, What a profound statement! But if I remember, you are the one who had a problem with this shit. Don't dish it if you can't take it.

Who cares if she let her baby eat a few fries? I think the point of the story was the humorous nature of having a sudden attack of the shits in Target than the dietary habits of a six-month-old. A few fries will not kill a baby unless you cram them down the baby's thoat. And it's not like the baby was eating a large fries with a burger...it's a feaking baby! how much can they eat other than like 3 fries?!

Anyways, back on topic, I feel your pain about having the shits in Target. The sudden shit-urge in public is the most horrifying.

Thanks TurdyTree. Your comments made it all worthwhile.

YA I was going to be bad but 33 1/3 fixed it.

WOW, I don't check out the site for a whole day and y'all are raising a fuss about a few stoopid french fries. Get a grip!!!

As far as the Traumatic Target Turds story, nice story. I will remember to not go to Target if I ever get my gall bladder out. Especially since I eat lots of french fries with all the trans-fat or whatever-the hell crappy stuff is in it. My arteries love them!!

Luckily Target bathrooms are usually spotless so ya didn't have to plob baby jane down on a scummy floor.

Have a Crappy Day!! Poop Shooter!

Hehe... C. Everett poop, she still hasn't denied being a 300 pound troll, even after 2 comments. Definitely not a "hot chick"; I don't even know why she brought it up in her story. But hey, I can now continue living in my fantasy world where hot women poop faeries and sunshine dust.

Dukey: I had a similar harrowing time finding a bathroom in a mall when my DD was about 2 weeks old. Luckily, my DH was with me, and could hold the baby. I BARELY made it (so it's not a great story), but my DH asked, "What would you have done if you were alone?" My answer was to always put DD in a stroller while shopping, which will fit in the handicapped stall WITH me. And I DON'T want to hear any whining about taking a stall away from a handicapped person (as I've seen on another site). If a baby can't talk, can't walk, can't even sit up, and Mommy has to CRAP RIGHT NOW....well, THAT's a handicap, if you ask me! The fact that a mommy CANNOT leave a child outside a stall deserves dispensation.

This story makes me kind of happy that I don't have children. And that I do still have a gallbladder. Very well-written, I especially liked 'burnt umber sludge'.

To C Everett, I think you may be right. I was hot once. I would let turds fly from my rectum because they came out as kittens and rainbows (or black sooty diarrhea). Then I had to go through hormone therapy and got fat. Now I have irritable bowel. Chicks do poop, but only when we aren't hot anymore.

This story wins the Oscar for crappiest comments. No more baby and french fry stories, ever please.

I agree with C. Everett Poop. I prefer to believe that good looking girls don't poop. I can imagine some fat ass dropping a load but it's hard to think of that pretty blonde I'm talking to at the club, etc.

Good thing you made it. This fry discussion is out of hand although I did notice that statement when I initially read the story.

I always use the handicapped stalls.

I enjoyed this story very much.

It was ruined when I read some of the nasty and unnecessary comments that some "people" unfortunately chose to write here.

juiop: a juicy poop

"Judge Judyreea"! HAR! Am I the only one to find that funny? OK. I just finished reading a Poop Report where a woman asks Dr. Adams how to keep her kid from carrying dog poop around in it's mouth, so the fries don't seem like a big deal. Thank God I will never have kids. I won't have to worry about them eating fries or poop. I worry enough about my dog.

SamDamnit!
Rectum Rector
of
The Church of Poop
http://www.myspace.com/saintcarnivean

What is this about pretty girls don't poop? Let me guess, you both are not married or don't love your wife very much if you are. Have you ever seen the movie "Beautiful Girls". Include in the ranting and raving by Rosie O'Donnell that beautiful women take shits just like men. You guys are sad and I pity any woman that gives you the time of day.

Hey Booker, first, eat me. Second, anyone that watches a Rosie Odonut movie is a dildo. Any questions?

.....someone has issues.....

Have a Crappy Day!! Poop Shooter!

Dave, this one ought to go into the Forums under the title, "How to Derail a Thread." DukeyHouser, I'm pretty sure this is your first story, but please don't let it be your last. I know this is sick, but I love to hear stories by gall bladder "victims" with a sense of humor. There are no worse poops on the planet than those "dumps" by the biliary-challenged.

DH, also, don't be upset by the negative comments about your mothering skills. Stay around and learn what the conventional wisdom is on subjects other than poop, and, until you develop the thick skin of a donkier or a C. Everett Poop, just stay away from subjects that will get you flamed.

I thought you told a great poop story. I dislike Target for reasons unrelated to this site, so I wish you had shit on the floor of their restroom and left (and I may get flamed for saying that!).

Please have the "gall" to stay with us!

This was an amusing story. Good thing you were not wearing pants, Dukey.
Some points I'd like to make:

a) I have never, and would never, give a 6 month old baby a french fry. A 10 month old maybe, but not a 6 month old.

b) Will U. Poop, she did deny being a 300lb troll in the comment RIGHT AFTER C. Everett said she hadn't denied it. Look closely.

c) Target bathrooms are not all spotless. The local Target's restroom is a filthy nightmare, and I dread everytime I'm at that store and have to use it.

d) GottaGoGirl, I agree wholeheartedly.
If you have to crap or pee, take the baby stroller into the handicap stall and go there. I can't imagine why a mother would be careless enough to put herself in a position where she couldn't protect her child should someone decide to walk up and take them. You go, GottaGo!

Dukey, for the most part this was a great story. I enjoyed the "burnt umber sludge" description as well as the exciting possibility of a shit spill in Target. However, the emphasis on your spawn and the absurdly intense debate about feeding it fries was disheartening.

Long have I suggested that children should not be allowed in public, or that if they are, they should be gagged and trussed and trundled about on handcarts in the manner of Hannibal Lecter. I admit that given the general public's overwhelming and incomprehensible fondness for children, this is unlikely. Fortunately I'm a night person so I'm not often forced to deal with groups of women snivelling adoringly every time their spawn blows a snot bubble.

There now, Dukey, that should distract the wannabe social workers from attacking you. Having also recently posted a story that garnered a less-than-stellar response which mostly missed the point, I encourage you to stick around and post again. After all, lest we forget, the focus of this website is poop humor, not child-rearing.

PZ, you are 21! What you don't know about children would fill the universe! I'm 48, and am raising a 10 year old son by myself. What I don't know about children would fill TWO universes! I agree that this post got derailed by side issues, but I don't think it is accurate to say that your own story, The Secret Battle, "garnered a less-than-stellar response which mostly missed the point." The responses regarding your consumption of diet pills and your unwillingness to shit in front of your Significant Other were directly related to your obvious underlying insecurities about that relationship, and perhaps about men in general. That this is a quite common phenomenon was also amply borne out by the comments to your story.

I thought that both this story and yours were very well written, and illustrate two of the concurrent missions of this site. This story was a good example of the humorous "PoopReporter in a tight" genre that has made PR world famous. Even the ancillary angst among the posters about giving french fries to the baby is funny in its way. I just wish DH wouldn't be so defensive about it. Sheesh, when Little Dumpster was teething, I would rub bourbon on his gums to shut him up at night.

Your story, on the other hand, was more of a cautionary tale about how problems with pooping can be related to more serious life issues. Even though told in a deft and humorous fashion, your story scared me, as I said in my initial post about it, for your sake, and even more so after I learned how young you are.

Nevertheless, I hope that both of you young ladies will continue your valuable contributions. I have learned as much about human nature from these two posts and the comments under them as from anything I've seen on this site!

Dumpster, you are completely correct about how little I know of children, but I can tell you that what I do know is repulsive.

More importantly, Dukey, upon pondering this story further (which is the mark of a good Poop Report to me) I seem to recall that you motherly types keep something called a "baby book" for some reason, and that you might include this story in yours, which, aside from illustrating how devoted a mother you were, would make it far more interesting than the usual ones that in my limited experience are really, REALLY crashingly, fist-eatingly boring. Perhaps you could take a burnt-umber colored Crayon and illustrate for your progeny the exact hue of your.. how do mommies say it?... "doo-doo."

It seems that entire paragraph was one long sentence. My apologies.

PZ, you have the same attitude towards children as the late, great comedian W.C. Fields. When asked how he liked children, Fields said, "fried." Wake us up in 10 years or so when your biological alarm clock goes off. It happened to the former Mrs. Dumpster in her mid-thirties, and I have Little Dumpster to show for that. Then, along about Y2K, another biological alarm went off in Mrs. D, who proceeded to leave the witty, erudite Dumpster (not to mention her adorable little son) for a knuckle-dragging, beer-gutted probation officer who is almost enough to make me believe in the Theory of Evolution.

Things change over time, dearie. You will be my age before you know it. You have shown great wisdom by joining PR. Please continue to make such wise choices, and you will have a great life!

Poo Zombie and The Dumpster I enjoyed your comments. I must say I had fun reminiscing about what happened this day and writing the story. It was even fun getting (overly) defensive about it and seeing all the response that hailed due to that. I am surprised that the stories on Poop Report that talk about getting slippery sloppery drunk and pooping or getting high and pooping or playing with poop, sculpting it into a poo bride, did not get the "how could you do such a thing! how could you be so irresponsible" that this story got for letting a 6 month old baby (Fart Poopie I guess I should have waited 4 more months, that would have made a difference) slob on a french fry but hey I guess I set myself up. Its all good. I enjoy all of you on Poop Report and I'll have to see what else I can "manually disimpact" and possibly submit another story or two.

You know I didn't even think about going into the handicap stall, I probably would have shit all over the floor if I had that "Aha" moment. As I have been humbly scolded by some of the posters, I clearly was not thinking straight this day (sarcasm intended).

Good point about the baby book too, I may have to print the story out and proudly tape it in. Since I gush over my babies ya'll know I have one (baby book)! Happy Doo Doo-ing!

I want to hear some more gall bladder horror stories, but not right now, 'cause I gotta go to class. There's a guy on our faculty who had his gall bladder out two years ago, and whenever we see him headed for the can, we send a "Code Brown" to all male faculty members so they will know to go downstairs and use the one in the Library for the next few hours. It is really fun to send the occasional unsuspecting student or visiting professor in there, and listen to them gag and throw up.

Children are great as long as the mewling little cabbages belong to some one else. I would not want one in my house. They would break all my toys.

SamDamnit!
Rectum Rector
of
The Church of Poop
http://www.myspace.com/saintcarnivean

In one of W.C. Fields' movies, I think it was "The Bank Dick", he was asked "Do you like children Mr. Sousae?" His response was "Only if they're properly cooked". (maybe he didn't want any transfat)
--------------------------------------------
When I signed on to my ISP yesterday there was a news story about McDonald's fries and transfat. I thought that was incredibly coincidental. And Monday my brother was carrying on about how much he likes McDonald's fries when they are hot. I'm thinking 'what's up with this fry chit'! I guess these things come in "3's" also. Dukey, your story was right on Target.

Man...

What a bunch of uptight motherfuckers about a fucking french fry. Big deal.

Good story

...I'm going for a poo. be back soon.

Dukey-- jbtw, as a matter of voting with my dollars, if I need something from a craft store, I drive the extra 15 min to the Tall Mouse, since the Joanne's right by my house has a bathroom that is impossible to access with a stroller. Of course, DS isn't always IN the stroller or even WITH me, but it's the principle of the thing. Come to think of it, the bathroom at (*Joanne's Fabrics and Crafts in Orange, CA*) isn't handicapped accessible in any way, shape or form. Isn't that a violation of some kind? Anyway, Dukey, loved your story.

Things are moving too fast on PR right now, with the new moderation system in place. This had already floated up to the top and back down to the bottom before I even had a chance to see it.

Dave, you're a genius at getting people to spend time here!

Not to encourage "Baby Ruth"'s gratuitous use of the f-bomb, but I'd have to chime in and agree. A 6-month-old wouldn't really EAT a fry. They'd more likely just gum it until it smeared all over their little fist, then drop the empty "skin". And anyway, even if someone fed their kid fermented monkey brains on toast what business is it of mine? Absolutely None.

I don't care if other mothers give their 6 month old babies fries. I wouldn't do it for a couple of reasons. First, it's a potential choking hazard. Second, I had a semi-strict diet plan for my babies. They were solely breastfed for the first 4-5 months of their life. At that point, baby cereal was added to their diet. At around 6 months they started eating vegetables and fruit in mooshy form (one at a time for a couple of days to see if they had any allergies), and at 10 months they started eating meat (finely cut so they don't choke, of course). They were still breastfed for a little over a year.

That's just what I did with my kids. All parents have a different way and schedule for introducing foods to their kids. You do what works for you.

On another note, I was at Target the other day and I thought about this story as I passed the restrooms. You've made an impression on me, Dukey. :)

why all the bickering about babies. We don;t care about babies. We care about POOP.
My family fed me a lot worse

Geezowie, not only can I learn how to take a good shit on this site, but I can also learn how to raise my children.

I wonder how they made it past the diaper stage.

_______
Have a Crappy Day!! Poop Shooter!

My God. After reading this poor woman's story all people can do is rip on her for letting her kid eat fries?

You are a tough one Dukey. Maybe instead of trying to deny, for their own sakes, that women poop, men should be giving you (and every other woman out there) credit for going through things like this. Good job!

C Everett Poop clearly isn't in touch with reality. Hot girls poop...if they didn't their bellies would become distended and their intestines would probably explode and their innards would become septic and gross and they'd die...so I'd rather they pooped than go through that.

My parents fed my sister fries when she was six months old. Are you going to crack on them now?

People need to stop sheltering their damn kids so much. It's one of the reason so many kids are growing up to be total morons now!

_______
Politicians- the world's biggest source of #2!

Again, I'm commenting on an older story, but I just gotta say something here. I agree 110% with The Shit Volcano. I learned by going out and getting minor injuries (scrapes, etc., no blood) just a year or two before they started pulling all the fun stuff out of school playgrounds. Let the kids learn something through experience. Talking doesn't cut it.

As far as the other issue, the opinion that women don't shit, it makes no sense! We all shit, damnit! Look at GottaGoGirl and The Shit Volcano, for instance. Women can be just as nasty as guys, they just hide it more and clean up better.

_______
Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

Why...thank you! *bats eyelashes*

At my daughter's school, the children ARE NOT ALLOWED TO RUN on the playground. That's right. No running at playtime**. You might smash into someone. So, run along I MEAN WALK ALONG and have fun!

**The only exceptions are if you're in an actual basketball or soccer game.

Can't run on the playground? What is this world coming to?

Loved the story even the bitchin about the fries. Keeps it real. The world is full of people fulll of themselves and other sh... It was like reading a page from my own life story just add a few more of the fry eating kids and its me and Target and a run for your life bathroom marathon. Handicap bathroom plus six kids under the age of 6 and you trying to have a nice private moment. Even though I always made it the commemtary from my audience never left anyhting to the imagination of other bathroom visitors. Been dealing with this poop problem since age 17 now 43 1 week minus gall bladder and I am fraid my marathon days are still looming in my futute. I guess immodium will stay in busines for a ew more years. Good luck to all and keep these stories going. I thought I was one of a kind.

Im really convinced that the smarter people think they are getting, the dumber they actually get.

Trans fats? WTF? Who gives a shit about stupid crap like that. The good part about being a kid is you can eat basically whatever you want. Kids arent supposed to be watching their diets, carefully rationing soda, and things like that. When you get older and your metabolism slows down you'll have plenty of time to worry about that. Not when you are a little kid.

If your kid starts to get fat, then step in, but i notice that my mom has a hard time getting my sister to eat much of anything most of the time (she is 4).

_______
0/\/\g t3h 1337 p00p0rz

With a four year-old sister, how old are you, 1337? The people on this site get younger and younger all the time!

I'm 19 and thought I was part of the youngest bunch... Looks like I was wrong. However I'm accepting of whoever comes as long as they aren't here just to vandalize (which I can thank the moderators for keeping me from seeing)

_______
Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

DukeyHouser you really had me giggling when you were doing "the Doggie Doo Hop Skip and a jump" dodging the admiring crowds heading for the bathroom!

We have something in common, I too have messed myself and had to leave the restroom "going Texan".

Also pay no mind to those food Nazis, what were they expecting? Maybe you should have brought your portable Robotcoup, for whipping your freshly picked spring peas from your organic garden at "flytime".

Regarding PZ's comment about the "wanna-be social workers"...

I am a social worker. I investigate allegations of child abuse and neglect. And let me tell you, people, we would not even touch a report of somebody letting their 6-month-old eat french fries. In fact, we would wonder about the mental health status of the reporter. On the other hand, the bourbon on Little Dumpster's would probably be something we'd look in to.

And just so you know, my now 10-year-old son was breastfed until he was 15 months, did not drink cow's milk until he was over 1 year old, and stayed in a booster seat until he was 9 1/2 years old. His first solid food, at 6 months old, was a french fry. So there.

I am 48, almost 49, and am now being breastfed for the first time in my life. Is THAT in your jurisdiction, Mr. Coward?

Wouldn't that be considered Elder Abuse?

**Ducks, covers head, and runs from room**

Moments before I spit root beer all over the room. You crack me up, GGG!

_______
Broccoli!

Nah, she wants me to abuse them.

Hermione is experiencing an interesting case of galactorrhea, but that is probably enough said.

I'm not even gonna go there. :-(

_______
Broccoli!

Yeah, well we'd best not, what with thirteen year-olds wandering around the site.

Methinks for the writing style that it is more like ten. I know many a thirteen-year-old who is far more mature that EF.

_______
Broccoli!

WELCOME BACK, THE SHIT VOLCANO! I was wondering where you've been for the past month and a half or so, wondering if you were alright. I'm newly registered but have been a guest.

_______
Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

With TSV back, DF, this place will ROCK!

She is the sparkplug.

Dumpster is the fireplug.

Well, thanks for the greet, Double Flush. It's nice to meet you AND to be back!

Dumpster, I'm not a sparkplug. I'm a lava plug.

_______
Broccoli!

Then I'm a buttplug. So there.

I guess I'm still finding my place here. I'm jealous of The Shit Volcano. I want my name under hers in the sidebar! Maybe in a few months I can be there. It should't take much longer for me to get on the sidebar (2 months maybe?). Watch for me.

Things are gonna liven up again with TSV back. As a long time guest, I've learned to like her like I like the other big names around here.

_______
Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

So you want to be "under" TSV, Double Flush? I like you (as of now), but don't be comin' between me 'n my PR pals....

'Course, you're welcome to try, but, as H.L. Menken once said, "never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel."

She has so many points that it'd take a really long time to get past her. That's all I'm sayin' there. So yeah. She has like a thousand more points than you, that's 10 to 15 weeks just to catch up. And now that she's back, she'll rack up more. Probably faster than I will.

_______
Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

The Shit Volcano
Is all full of poo,
With so many points that
She doesn't know what to do.
Her posts are all good ones,
It must clearly be said,
For if you disagree,
She will break-a your head!

It never hurts to brown-nose others on this site. Hey--on PR a brown nose is considered a badge of honor!

I like your posting style, DF. Although you're legitimately interested in earning your user points, you don't appear to be posting just for the sake of running them up. Also, you don't brag on yourself, you don't whine, and you don't insult others. Having done all of the above during my relatively brief time here, I have been fortunate enough to have learned the error of my ways without drawing down too much punishment in the process.

"...I am 48, almost 49, and am now being breastfed for the first time in my life..."

"...Wouldn't that be considered Elder Abuse?.."

"...Nah, she wants me to abuse them..."

No, no, NO! I wasn't calling HERMIONE an elder. THAT would be rude of me!

Oh. I see. So I am the abused one! Hey--that kind of abuse I can stand!

Good thing you're not lactose intolerant.

Yeah. I'm weird, but not intolerant!

"I like your posting style, DF." Why thank you Dumpster. I try to at least earn my points instead of posting a bunch of lameness just to get more points that a moderator could end up taking away just for that reason.

Yes, we do abuse each other a bit, but it's all in good fun, and in the end we're all still friends, so I'm cool with it as long as we don't go too far.

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Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

Some of you really need to mind your damn business... it's her kid and if she wants to feed her fries then so be it. Get your nose out of it, read the story, laugh about the "shit happening", and move on. No need to critisize her parenting.

Is incontinence, as the 300-pound troll described, a fairly common thing among women? It seems I'm routinely hearing tales about women urinating all over themselves due to an inability to 'hold it' for any length of time whatsoever. Maybe it's not that uncommon. According to the TV advertising, women pee themselves if they sneeze, stand up too quickly, laugh etc. Also they can't sit on the white chair, only the black one. What gives?

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"Uugggghh...nnnrrrrAAaaaaarrrgg...*splash*...aaaahh."

TT, incontinence IS more common in women. Abdominal muscles get weaker with every pregnancy. (Unless your Heidi Klum, but she's a cyborg so that doesn't count.) I had to do countless crunches and kegel excersises to get back to "normal".

Turdgutson, in your case, the doctor clearly committed malpractice--he threw away the baby and kept the afterbirth, which has subsequently rotted.

And that has WHAT to do with my question?
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"Uugggghh...nnnrrrrAAaaaaarrrgg...*splash*...aaaahh."

I almost peed myself reading that line, TD. Do you mind if I use it?

AAP. Very informative. The question is, why does the spincters get weak in the first place?

It could be nothing more than degeneration of the muscles, or perhaps (my suspicion) a nutritional defficiency of some sort.
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"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

This goes down in PR history as the most badly-derailed thread ever.

So, what I don't understand is, if you've got to crap so badly that your dancing down the aisles of Target, why don't you just hold the baby to your chest while relieving yourself, or just lean forward with your elbows on your knees and hold the french-fry-munching bundle of joy between your hands?

I always held the Poopoose on my hips while standing at the urinal. I just figured it was never to early for him to learn about how to effectively enjoy the finer things in life by example.

BTW, does this mean I'm going to get "lamed" for trying to stay on-topic?

Can't we all just get along? Group hug, everybody!

Ha! Not from me. Derail should be my middle name. It sounds french.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com