Doe-Eyed Number Two-Doer
I woke up feeling great on a beautiful summer day. The birds were chirping, and beams of sun were penetrating through the curtains, inviting me to enjoy the glorious weather. I had no idea how humbled I would feel in a few hours.
Usually I have to take a morning poop, but today I fought the urge and decided I was the master of my rectum; I just had that feeling. I went ahead with my normal morning duties. I made some coffee and enjoyed it, which was my first mistake; and then I went out to jog, which was my second mistake.
After twenty twenty minutes I had jogged halfway around the neighborhood. On my way back I started feeling the urge to poop. Damn you poop demons! How dare you rise up now while I am so far away from anything that resembles a poop take-awayer mechanism?
I tried to hold it in as long as possible but alas, I could not; so I scurried into the woods to release my evil defecation. As I released it, I glanced over and noticed not twenty feet away a deer was doing the same, and all I could do was give the deer my shameful, man-caught-pooping-in-front-of-a-deer eyes.