That was a crappy, probably fake, story and you are an idiot. Saying all Americans are obsessed with cheeseburgers is like saying all you Pommies are obsessed with kidney pies. Maybe your Aunt Millie is white trash. It sure sounds like it. I haven't eaten a cheeseburger in 10 years.

Learn how to write and get a life.

I'll use the KISS method to respond to that story...YOU SUCK! Take a shower.
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I love ice cream and cheese, but they don't love me back.

I can't believe this trash was even posted.

You sound like a real jackoff.

I'll just leave it at that.

C.E.P., it may have been easier to get your point across by saying:

You Ass Eh, You Ass Eh.

I live in California, it smells like Starbucks, the ocean, and cheeseburgers. Anybody who denies this is a terrorist.

London has junk food.I stayed at The Swiss Chalet Hotel.It's down the street from The Underground Station that has the same name.KFC was across the street from the train station.You could wash down your chicken with beer served at the pub next to KFC and have a jolley good time on the throne.

Yeah, the dog story was okay, but why all the America-bashing? There ARE forums for that, I'm sure (in the interest of Free Speech, which, by the way if you've forgotten a slice of history, WE pioneered it!). But why do it here? I call BAD FORM!

man did tony blair eat your brain, along with the rest of the UK? blair must have the worst liberal dumps.

Wow, you guys are vicious.

If you read the story more carefully, Teri skewed the USA and England equally.

While America had cheeseburgers, London had stew with goat hooves, and the gastro problems were worse there.

Additionally, she added that the campground was refreshingly clean. In contrast, purchasing a "dumpy" flat in London was her economic alternative after years of college study.

If you think about it, these poop stories always involve the worst experiences for people, not the best. Else, why would anyone submit something?

Ok, so the next story should be "i came to the USA, and enjoyed steak and smooth poops. The end".

I agree with your bad reaction to america bashing, but hypersensitivity wont win you many converts.

Everyone ALREADY knows this is the best, most prosperous, and productive country in history.

That's WHY they hate us. Get it? Better to laugh it off, and come off charming in the process.

Despite the fact that it was a poop report, the entire thing could've been summed up in the following paragraph.

I'm from the UK and I was born with a silver Port-a-crapper stuffed in my ass. You Yanks need to eat something other than cheeseburgers. I took a vacation to the US and stayed with my aunt. Her dog ate too much of our neighbors' food and pooped.

And why in the hell would you take a vacation to Kentucky? There are plenty of other places in out country that would paint a much more accurate picture of our country.
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Yes, those are my brown spots. Yes, those are your walls.

*our, not out. Even with the preview button, I managed to fuck it up.

I had a wife who was from england and she sucks as much as you do. And who do you think you are to talk about people with bad teeth???

I really don't care if you bash America or not...but if you're going to, please actually have a good story attached to it. To put it bluntly I felt the story sucked and I expect more from a PoopReport story other than my aunts dog ate too much and pooped alot.

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I poop because I am...I am because I poop.

Everett has started a thread on the forums for people who want to express their dislike of this story.

I would tell you what I think of it, but I've got to go fix Little Dumpster a cheeseburger for supper.

Coincidentally, we're having a casserole for dinner. What kind? "Cheeseburger and Fries Delight", of course, and we'll have the leftovers with chocolate milk for breakfast. It almost goes without saying that it involves a can of "Cream Of Something" soup.
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Fecal Matters.

Teri, come to Canada.
You'll have the added scent of bacon on those cheeseburgers.
What's wrong with beef, cheese & bread anyway?

Are there any closer airports to the West Coast that smell like cheeseburgers? I'd love to go there because that is one of the best smells on earth.
Especially driving past Burger King where they pump out the flame broiling goodness for all to smell.

Di. You CANNOT vanish for three months and then just show up here without any explanation.

Damn, it is good to see you back!!

GGG: "Cheeseburger and Fries Delight." I need the recipe, please.

People, let's face it. The rest of the world views Americans as a bunch of fat, cheeseburger-eating rednecks. Take a step back and get over yourselves for a second. If you were from a foreign country, wouldn't you? We're one of the fattest, if not the fattest, nations on earth (myself included!), two of our largest multinational corporations are McDonald's and Wal-Mart, and our president is a moronic fucktard.

However, as Mr. St James points out, London gets its fair share of flames in this country. Living in a dump and hoping to buy another, eating goat hooves, and passing a claw hammer sound none too flattering to me. So I think everyone needs to stop all their pseudo-patriotic whining. Face it, if you lived in a large city and went to a rural area of another country, you'd probably not have much good to say about it either.

Nice comment about your president AB2K, very typical of you gutless leftists. I bet you President Lewinsky and Peanut-boy.

That didn't post right. I bet you loved President Lewinsky and Peanut Boy. Either way, you suck.

This is an argument that no one will win except those who don't like PoopReport.

BTW, AB2K, I haven't shared this with anyone on the site, but I, along with Little Dumpster, was privileged to meet President Bush recently. I would most definitely NOT describe him as a "moronic fucktard."

I absolutely died laughing seeing C.E.P.'s two posts together. Read the first one, if this wasn't an apoplectic response I don't know what one is. Someone down California way please check on C.E.P., we may have lost the bugger.

Big surprize. Brits are unimpressed with and don't like Americans very much. Anyone who reads the Independent or the Guardian or BBC World already knows that. Stop focusing on us and think about what you can do to make yourself a better person. Here's a clue: dental floss.

Is the "Little Dumpster" you often refer to your nickname for your penis?

I just loved the story. NOT!
I have a few dog poop stories.
My dog pooped on the floor the other day and I had to clean it up because it ate too much while counter surfing!
The end
El Fartismo

Doniker, I about spit my breakfast out on the monitor when I read that, but Little Dumpster is his son! LOL.

The only funny thing I`ve ever heard that concerns dog shit is Frank Zappa`s song "Don`t eat the yellow snow", or something close to that. In it he gets a dog doo snow cone rubbed in his eyes. Great song for Poop Reporters.

LMAO @ Little Dumpster comment. But it is his son for God sake. Leave the poor little dumpster out of it.

Dumpster, as per your request, here's the recipe for "Cheeseburger & Fries Delight".
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Fecal Matters.

Thunderbox, the lines you're refering to go:

"He took a dog-doo snow cone and stuffed it in my right eye.
He too a dog doo snow cone and he stuffed it in my other eye."
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Yes, those are my brown spots. Yes, those are your walls.

Doniker, I didn't join this site to discuss genitalia, especially of the male variety.

Ox vomit on a plate of rice. Damn, that makes me hungry. Guess I'll go get me a goddam cheeseburger.

Thanks HFD, it`s starting to come back. This happened after the fur trapper (from Commercial) got some of the yellow snow rubbed into his eyes, in a circular motion, unknown to the people of that area, for beating on his favourite seal pup with a lead filled snow shoe.

It`s great how some of these stories can trigger bizarre threads and thoughts.

Cheeseburger... cheeseburger... cheeseburger.... cheeseburger... sounds like a Saturday Night Live skit.

*quickly rushes to the forums to post this under the poopart thread*
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Yes, those are my brown spots. Yes, those are your walls.

You know, AB2K, it's true that the rest of the world sees Americans as fat, lazy slobs. What they fail to see, however, is that we also have the most fit people. I don't mean thin, I mean FIT. Muscles, low body fat, and all that. It's easy to focus on the overweight people here because, well, they're easier to notice.

No one points out the good in anything anymore.

By the way, the above is an opinion based on my observations of people in other countries. I've noticed that, while people in other countries may have less obese people, the thin people there aren't all exactly healthy or toned. I don't have any studies or numbers to corroborate my opinion. Anyone who disagrees is more than welcome to find proof against it and tell me off. :-)

Oh, and GottaGoGirl, thanks for posting that recipe. It looks like a recipe you can play with and come up with countless variations. I'll have to try it.

Cheeseburgers and fries are definitely good eats.

GGG - I`m glad you were taking the piss with that recipe, anyone who would seriously think of making it is a complete and utter f***wit and deserves to be a huge fat bloater.

TB, that last comment was uncalled for. I requested the recipe from GGG, and she was simply obliging me.

As this is an uncalled-for insult to one of my dearest friends on this site, it regrettably becomes a question of honor. Therefore, sir, I must challenge you to a duel. I name C. Everett Poop as my second. Please designate yours, sir, so that proper arrangements may be made for honor to be vindicated.

Dumpster: firstly; I didn`t realise that I was insulting GGG, who I also, hopefully, consider a friend; secondly, I stand by my comment, this is a recipe for becoming a fat boy, a recipe for fools.

Sir, I accept your glove across my face. Name the place, date and weapons. I nominate doniker as my second, should he choose to accept.

I assume that our seconds can make suitable arrangements.

Until they can, I hope that we can continue with our cordial, if perhaps occaisionally irreverent exchanges.

Yours, etc.

Thunderbox, don't be an ass. Just because some people like to eat something fatty every once in a while, it doesn't mean that they eat like that all the time.
Everyone has a sloppy, fatty, cheesy, bacony, deepfried and chocolate coated guilty pleasure that they indulge in occasionally. Don't you? ;-)

Certainly not anything as foul and depraved as this sort of recipe.

You're right. It needs bacon.

Yes we all have the "sloppy, fatty, cheesy, bacony, deepfried and chocolate coated guilty pleasure that they indulge in occasionally." and this is why this site exists so we can tell of the aftermath.

Gentlemen, I believe I'm about to suffer an attack of the vapors. *Sits down and fans face*

GGG shall we get you a cheese burger to help with your attack?

GGG, you should redirect your fanning to their rears. That might help get the vapors away. Unless they're your vapors. Then you should fan your own bottom. :-)

Yes, with bacon, please, El F, with onion rings and ranch in which to dip them.

OMG! You and FP are hilarious!

As for the Dumpster, I can hold my head up in society, knowing he stands at the ready to defend my honor against poop-slingers. How lucky am I?!?

And Boxy, dear. Of course we're friends! After you take your ass-whoopin', I will go to the freezer and pull out a pan of "Cheeseburger and Fries Delight", defrost it overnight, bake it at 350 for 45 minutes, and serve it to you, Dumpie, C.Everett and doniker on my grandmother's china.

After I crumble bacon over the top.

GGG you must have the ranch for dip too or it will be a deal killer I am sure. I just would not want to be in the same room as that croud after dinner. I hope you have lots of fans for the "vapors" as you call them.
I have had vapor trails at times and it brought a tear to more than one eye!

GGG - I`m sorry to say that a serving of your bwwaaarghhhh (sorry I just threw up) "lunch" would frighten me more than my forthcoming meeting, probably at dawn, with Dumpster.

You ARE lucky. Not every woman can say they have a good man around to defend their honor.

Mr Box you should be scared because even if you do not partake in the good "sloppy, fatty, cheesy, bacony, deepfried and chocolate coated guilty pleasures" You will definitely suffer the aftermath or "Vapors" as you will.

I'm canadian living in America, so really I should be mad at Bunga Din, but what you said about America is offensive to my friends. We most certainly do not only eat cheeseburgers and french fries, and we don't always eat out at greasy places.

If you must know the truth, I think English people talk stupid. So pardon my french, but fuck off.

I select as my weapon the USS Abraham Lincoln. Messrs. Poop and Doniker can work out the schedule.

Believe me, sir, I am yours most sincerely, etc.

And by the way, all of your comments are hillarious....I'm hungry. *orders pizza hut with extra cheese and meat*

Dumpster, if you have the Mighty Abe on your side, you don't need my help.

Does this mean you won't help me vindicate my honor, sir?

So Dumpster, you had the "honor" of meeting President Bush, did you? Wow, having a good ol' guffaw with a red-faced puppet in playschool English sounds totally unforgettable! Lucky, lucky you! Did he tell any good fart jokes? And if you "would most definitely NOT describe him as a 'moronic fucktard'", how would you describe him? A 'complete moronic fucktard'? BTW, I'm so glad he deposed Saddam. Both the Iraqi and the American people are so much better off for it. Thank you President Bush, you American hero!

Also, to all the Americans who griped about this story because it sounded 'anti-American': to us looking on from the outside, it's comical to see citizens of the wealthiest and most powerful nation on earth responding with such wide-blue-eyed, earnest hick zeal to barbs that are obviously supposed to entertain - proof of which being in the barbs aimed at the writer's own country too. Get some sophistication. (Look to your urbane philosopher/president, for example ;) In fact, the barbs (well, most of them) were the only thing that gave this post any flavor. I agree: what should have been the kernel of the story, i.e. a good shit incident, ended up sounding incidental, and sucked.

Dumpster - don`t you think plungers at 10 paces is more apt in this case?

Can't we all just get along? All food eventually becomes shit. Sometimes when its cooked, the rest of the time after its eaten. I do however rejoice in the notion that chivalry is not dead. Yet. But I'm working on it.

I will accept that alternative choice of weapons, sir.

Being from the UK I can see where the author gets his image of Americans from, but it's the image from someone who's ignorant. As he says and many of yourselves have said, Alot of Americans are overweight due to their large intake of McDonalds, Steaks, and just plain shite. But as Fart Poopie mentioned - America has an awful lot of Health freaks, and look in the Olympics America always come out near the top. As for England we too have our fat wasters as do other countries. I personally love a cheeseburger and large steaks (bigger the better) but am lucky never to gain weight due to football (soccer). By the way can someone please tell me what a Super Size Big Mac Meal looks like over there. I've heard the drinks like a bucket. I would love one.

Also being from the NORTH of England, we all hate Londoners (where the author is from) and anywhere South of Birmingham and like not to be classed in the same group as them. Just to make the record straight, we do not all speak in the accent that Americans tend to ALWAYS link with the English. Thats the Southerners.

I dunno... I really liked this story. It was a THREE-laugh-out-loud one, starting with the claw hammer! :D
Piece Out!
Crappie

hey, don't think all Americans eat cheeseburgers all day. Cuz I know for a fact that that's NOT true! Actually, I think I'm from the same country as you, since you said, "Ramen Noodles," and I would appreciate it if you don't convince people that our nationality is the kind who thrash foreigners!!

I've noticed that in the small area where I live (the one away from Raleigh, just moved back), it is "oodles of noodles." But go just a little bit away from here and it is "ramen noodles" or "ramen noodle soup." So weird.

Dare I add to the festering pot of crap and say I only eat burgers every now and then. Once a month, if that. I generally eat a vegetarian diet plus chicken, seafood, and bacon. Every now and then I will eat beef; this is a fairly rare occurance though. That said, I'm still obese. I am 6 ft tall and weigh about 250 lbs. I wear size 38 jeans that I stuff my butt into, and my belly hangs over the front. Surely it isn't my diet. It's probably my American "Why do it if you don't have to?" way of thinking.

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"Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus

yeah so apparently the first half of the story is mr english bashing america
if you dont like us thats fine but why bring up how shitty your countries food service is. that seems to undermine your own story
tool

This story seemed to be based more around America-bashing and American food than the poop - which was a letdown.
I'm sure that Americans don't eat purely cheeseburgers and fries, just as the British don't eat purely cooked breakfasts etc. They're ignorant stereotypes.
And just to clarify, I'm English.

Lighten up, people. America is full of fat, flatulent, idiots. That is how a fucktard like Bush got away with stealing two elections and dragging us in to a war of occupation that only helps the profiteers and oil barons that he calls his base.

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Sir SamDamnit!
The Prince of Poop

One more thing. The ONLY good thing about that story, was the references to Americans.

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Sir SamDamnit!
The Prince of Poop

This is funny stuff! It makes me want a burger. Although the curry also sounds good (hold the hoof). Whay are so many of you commenters so angry? It is a poop story, for goodness sake.

Wow, Sam. I didn't realize you were such a self-hating American.

Dearest Teri on Thames:
What the hell are "boiled weenie punters"? Are they treatable with antibiotics? How do you know if you are afflicted by this dread malady? Also, do you have experience in passing a claw hammer? If so, please describe. In detail. God save the Queen (damned if I know from what).

Mr. Poopie, I am not self hating. It is most of you other Americans, that I hate. Most of the civilized and uncivilized world hates you too. Some of the reasons are the jingoism, empty patriotism and hubris that you exhibit to the rest of the world, as well as on internet postings.
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Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

TONIGHT ONLY!!! Boiled Weenie Punters opening for HUBRIS at the PoopReport Ballroom

HOLY SHIT NO!!! I said God SAVE the queen, not poison her. And weenie punters are best if sauteed with a light sauce of shit and kidney filtered gin. Boiled just won't do. And we only have kippers and scones at HUBRIS at the PR ballroom. Yegods! How did you get in here? We have standards you know. Really, really low ones (they let me in), but standards none the less.

Teri on the Thames, you are a complete and total fucktard. I can't believe this tripe even got posted.
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"Uugggghh...nnnrrrrAAaaaaarrrgg...*splash*...aaaahh."

Um, Sam...

Wait, hold on, let me check again...

Yup, I'm sure. Sam, I'm not a man. I'm most decidedly a woman. ;-)

By the way, Sam, I wasn't born an American. I chose to be one.

Yup, FP is definitely female, according to profiles and prior posts.

Here I am seeing people who chose to be American. I'm American and I wanna be Canadian. Something wrong with me?

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Damnit, someone stole my signature!

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Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

I apologize, Ms. Poopie. I am not used to the farier sex being so jingoistic and ignorant.
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Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

LOL

I'd give you a 'great comment' prop for that...if I was one of the elite two or three with the privilage to do so.

JINGOISTIC!!!!
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"Uugggghh...nnnrrrrAAaaaaarrrgg...*splash*...aaaahh."

You rant about America being full of fat, flatulent idiots and I respond by letting you know that you come off as a self-hating American... and that makes me an ignorant jingo?
That's a bit of an exaggeration, wouldn't you say? Was I really so aggressive in expressing my patriotism? I wasn't even waving my flag.
Did I call you a traitor? Did I tell you to move to France if you don't like how the country is being operated?
No. I would never do that because I respect your right to express your opinion, and also because I wouldn't completely understand what you post here if it were written in French. That would be a crying shame. ;-)

Well, non parlez vous Français much, so I must post in English as well. I'm mostly fine with how the US is going, but at the same time are are a lot of things I disagree with too. As for the "self-hating American," yep. However, it's my own fault that I don't get off my fat ass and do something, not the rest of the country's. At the same time, I have no say in the FCC, FDA, or other government stuff outside of my one vote out of who knows how many. At least there's that, and it makes me feel better when a lot of like-minded people vote for the same people or ideas.

You are all entitled to your opinion. PoopReport is based in the US afaik, and here you can say whatever you want using any media you like. Don't feel like you can't say what you're thinking on the site. Just one thing, it might fit better in our Flames forum than on the front page(s). As much as I've seen fly on this particular page, I'm still willing to see more opinions.

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Damnit, someone stole my signature!

What's up with the negativity recently? I have noticed it in the last two weeks in particular and it has been escalating. And not just on this site, but out in public as well. Why are people being such asses to each other right now?

Someone suggested to me that it has to do with the upcoming of 9/11. I am not so sure. However, I know that whatever is going on, people need to stop butting heads and just cool their bricks for a while!

It used to be fun to come on this site and read both stories and comments. Now it seems that it has been reduced to a brutal flame war on almost every story I have clicked. Liberals hate the conservatives. Republicans hate the democrats. Navy hates the Army. The British hate the Americans. Etc, etc, fucking etc!!!

Poop HUMOR. HUMOR! HUMOR! Not poop on your fellow Internet neighbor and keep trying to get the last fucking word in!

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"That was a very disappointing party. I showed up and everyone left!"- Camille

Welcome back, The Shit Volcano! We all missed you so much!

I've too noticed that things are getting negative, and I must confess I have taken part in it, though I'm still looking to keep it on the topic of toilet humor. And, as for the flame wars, we have a forum for that.

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Damnit, someone stole my signature!

In case anybody wants to know--Thunderbox and I didn't hold our duel....

We settled it over a cheeseburger.

But I stand ready to defend the honour (note the British spelling) of GGG, SamDamnit, or any of the other fair maidens of PoopReport at any time.

Not a bad first story, but what's up with the sterotyping of American's and cheeseburgers?

I have not eaten a cheeseburger in almost six years and I am an American.

I did enjoy the part about the dogs getting into all the food, and the "claw hammer" quote.

Sadly, I am seeing lots of bickering and negativity in this story, and continuing into the thread, why? Who cares wether a person is from the U.S., U.K, or anywhere else, why can't we all just put our differences aside and get along with one another. After all, we have to share the world with each other, so why not make the most of it. Hopefully, since this story posted, everyone has cooled their jets and are getting along now.

HUMOR guys, this is Poopreport, not Gerry Springer.
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Watch out for the deadly F4, though he's been gone since '53, he will be back.

Poopreport is in fact about humor, but the person who wrote the story did not think before openly spitting on Americans.

Good point Freddy Krueger16, and as a result of all the American bashing, this thread has become a nightmare on Elm Street.
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"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

Mmmmm....cheeseburgers.

I like mine with lettuce and tomato
Heinz 57 and french fried potatoes
Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer
Well good God almighty which way do I steer
For my...
Cheeseburger in paradise

I liked the story. The sub-plot of the duel was even better.
Producing waste since 1967