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Requiem For A Toy

Posted 04.25.2007 by serna (10)
I am confessing this for the first time ever.

When I was twelve or thirteen, I was still really immature for my age. I carried a little plastic puppy around with me, in my pocket, everywhere I went. It was a really tiny, pretty thing. It was named Patch. I petted it, loved it, and cared for it. It had a little puppy basket on the table next to my bed, where I tucked it in to sleep every night with its hand-sewn teeny bead-embroidered blanket and delicate cotton-wool bedding, stuffed with slightly satiny, sometimes-color-changing-in-certain-lights pillows.

Seriously.

One day I was with my mother at this garden center and I needed to go bad. There was only one female toilet. I went in and it was filled with disgusting poo, so I tried to flush it away. The flush did not work. But oh, I needed to go. And I did so. And as I was leaving, I pulled my sunglasses out of my shirt pocket and Patch --

Patch fell into the toilet.

I was in complete shock.

I stared at the toilet for around two minutes.

In the end, of course, I did decide to save him.

Rolled up sleeves... couldn't see him... had to search around a bit... (oh God... oh my God... yuck...) ... he was towards the back.

I pulled him out.

Luckily, this being the only toilet at this small store, it had the basin and soap dispenser right there in the cubicle.

There was no soap left.

Shit.

In the end I believe I water-washed my hand, and Patch, for maybe ten minutes, and then a million times more when we got home.

This horrific experience did not pull Patch and I closer together. Instead, I kinda stopped taking Patch places anymore. It makes me sad, but I never could look at him the same way again.

I think he may have ended up at a boot-sale. I wonder about the people who picked him up at the sale, innocently unknowing of his past...



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Great comment! +1 point
C Everett Poop (633) -- 04.25.2007

That was me that bought that puppy. I named him Stinky.

Mary Queen of Scats (387) -- 04.25.2007

The same thing has happened to me on several occasions...except with cell phones.

As far as the insurance company is concerned, they were "lost."

_______
It's YOUR cat, YOU get his poop out of my sink!

DungDaddy (1369) -- 04.25.2007

Touching.
Stupid, but touching.

Deja Poo (615) -- 04.25.2007

It's a good thing that Patch was a doll. If Patch had been a hamster, you might have had to administer mouth-to-mouth in order to save him/her.
_______
Deja Poo - Because this shit's so strange, it couldn't ever have happened before.

Patch (not verified) -- 04.25.2007

I became a real dog after you gave me away.I will never forgive you.I will track you down and leave a gift for you on your lawn.

Fart Poopie (1254) -- 04.25.2007

This story reminds me of a trippy game I played a while back.

Shit monster (85) -- 04.26.2007

Ok, because Im in a state of lack-of-sleep, and its like 1:30 AM here, Im gonna say WTF?

_______
(insert ziggy boogy doog here)

daphne (3522) -- 04.26.2007

Shame on you. You let him down and then abandoned him because of your own actions.

Just kidding.

My daughter had a little puppy when she was about 3 or so. I had to crochet blankets, pillows, and baby carriers for him out of size 30 thread. His name was Puppy Baby, and he went everywhere for quite some time. I cannot remember for the life of me what happened to him, but most likely it did not involve the toilet.

But now I wonder.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Anonymous Coward (not verified) -- 04.26.2007

here the one about the bloke who didn't know the difference between shit & putty,HIS WINDOWS FELL OUT.

Artful Dodger (347) -- 04.26.2007

That exact thing happened to me when I was around tha same age. Except that instead of a puppy it was a GI Joe, and I didn't accidently drop it into a crap filled toilet. I buried him under a peony bush after he was defeated in an epic one-on-one battle with Cobra Commander.

Bilgepump (1640) -- 04.26.2007

Me too, Dodge, except it wasn't a puppy, or a G. I. Joe, it was a 3 month old Oscar Mayer Weiner, I took it everywhere, but then, one day, a dog ate it. Yep, just a couple weeks ago, in fact...so I can really relate, cuz my story is so similar....er...wait...no, my story is just kind of strange...never mind.

Mary Queen of Scats (387) -- 04.27.2007

I can just imagine Bilge carrying around an old, wrinkley, smelly weiner...er...I mean hotdog.

_______
It's YOUR cat, YOU get his poop out of my sink!

Bunga Din (1239) -- 04.28.2007

It's when his weiner ain't wrinkly you gotta watchout Mary!!!

fartqueen (54) -- 04.28.2007


wern't you a little old to be carrying aroung a stupid plastic toy?And then you dig it out of a bowl of sick doodie?You need your head checked...go to the doctor please for gods sake!Oh and one more thing...if you couldn't look at youur toy anymore...how can you look at your hand and arm anymore??Why do you still have those?huh?_______
fartqueen

daphne (3522) -- 04.29.2007

To smack you with.

Sorry, fartqueen, but you gave me the silver platter and all. ;)


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

AntBee (1) -- 04.30.2007

Ewwwwwww! But what a perfect opportunity to play, "Hey Smell My Finger."

Shizzam (1) -- 05.05.2007

A similar thing happened to me about two years ago. Except I dropped an iPod when pulling up my pants.

MousePoo (150) -- 07.10.2007

Ugh. I'd have flushed him. Sorry, I don't dig in the toilet for toys that'll flush easily.

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