this has ruined my memories of cheerleaders.
They poop?

Dorothy M: I know you relocated across the country and changed your name a few times in hopes no one would recognize your true identity when you because a contributor to PR. I was on the football cheer squad and remember you well (you may remember me as the ONLY one who didn't laugh at you.) Those were some hateful jealous cheerhags we had to put up with! Us, just a couple of over-achieving cute nerd girls who could outfart and outcrap most of the guy jocks not that they were mature enough to appreciate it.....

Glad to hear things didn't scar you for life and that meatloaf skids are the worst repercussions you have to suffer these days. Today you may go by the name Dorothy M., but I'll always fondly remember you as "Ass Blister Sister".

Yours truly--Bunghole

At least it was just skidmarks. Suppose you'd dropped a whole meatloaf in there!

That had to be awful, especially for someone who considered herself "a dish." I'll be interested to see what C. Everett Poop has to say, because he gets so grossed out by "hot" chicks pooping.

Two meatloaf stories in one day. I think I'll have to change the dinner menu tonight.

I laughed my ass off at your story because it reminded me of the time in high school it happened to a friend (male) of mine! Skidmarks were to be expected for a guy. But a cheerleader, oh boy!!

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"Rectum hell, killed em' both." Author Unknown

This story is fake because hot chicks don't fart or shit. Also she says "I would get diarrhea and little pellets of goat shit would pop out of my ass." That is not exactly what happens when one gets diarrhea.

Damn good thing you were not wearing white bottoms to your uniform and pantiless. Now that might have been bad. how shocking and horrifying it must have been to see your shitty panties laying on the floor in front of hundreds to see.

I bet ya wipe your ass much better since that happened!!

I still don't know why so many people get skidmarks. Are they all too damn lazy to thoroughly wipe their asses??

Metloaf is definately off tonites menu now!

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Regional POWER POOPING CHAMPION 1988-2006
Poop Shooter!

This story is very endearing. Kids are cruel, but it's always nice to know that we all, at some point, face the same kind of cruelty from the rest of the world, no matter what our status or situation. The fact that you can laugh about it now speaks volumes for you.

I knew this would upset Everett. I just knew it!

BTW, I'm always a tiny bit suspicious of people (male or female) who feel the need to describe how sexy they are, or were, or whatever. I'm sure Dorothy is/was all she claims to be, but she only needed to say that was that she was a high school cheerleader, and the reader's imagination can do the rest. It is sort of like the person who used to come on here periodically and remind us that he was a member of MENSA.

(In case anybody wants to know, Dumpster is quite a steaming hunk himself, as well as being a member of DENSA.)

Come on now, Dumpster. 'Fess up--you wrote the story under the Dorothy M. psuedonym just to get that predictable C. Everett reaction.

Q: How are a cheerleader's legs like butter?
A: They're soft, smooth and spreadable.

...And, to steal a line from (I think) Poop Shooter, they're like 7/11: Open all the time!

WAIT A MINUTE!! Bunghole, you wrote, above: "I was on the football cheer squad...." Are you making some sort of confession here?

No, I'm publishing a true story over on the forums that is guaranteed to upset Everett, when he sees what happens to the hottest girls in the high school class, thirty years down the road. See "The Park City Diaries."

No, since I'm not of the Catholic persuasion I'm not making any confessions. The truth, though? All the gals on the same cheersquad as I didn't wear underwear because of VPL and they'd peek out from under the bloomers.

Heh, love those cheerleader leg jokes.

Why not wear a thong? No VPL (as far as I can tell) and will doo your asswiping for you.

Finally! Another member of DENSA! Welcome to the club, bro!

Damn, thot would suck. I would move out of the country if that ever happened to me.

Did someone call for an almost MENSA member who has been inside many cheerleaders and used to be Catholic???

How can I be of assistance?

Them Catholic school girls were somethnig else!!!

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Regional POWER POOPING CHAMPION 1988-2006
Poop Shooter!

KOC: Here's little history in underwear. "Thongs" (as you know them today) were not available for our wearing pleasure in the mid-late 1970s. The closest to the thong was the mini-micro hip-hugger tanga-side underwear.

PS, Almost MENSA doesn't count. That like 'almost a virgin' which doesn't count either.

Either way, in cheer-squad land undies were an added unwelcomed encumbrance when doing front-center (aka Chinese) splits, a few handsprings, and the pyramid climb--they would inevitably peer from beneath the "bloomers".

Thankfully I had a bigger penchant for track and concentrated on that pursuit my last year of high school.

Hey, everybody! I've figured out who Bunghole really is!! She is Marcia Brady, all grown up, and even more super-competent than her mom, Carol.

(So, tell us the truth, Marcia: Did you and Greg ever get it on?)

What a post, Dumpster. You are a mean one "Mr. Lackanookie".

Grown up? yes. Super competent? no. Competitive? yes. Marcia Brady? no. Actually cheerleader and one and two miler? yes. Still competitive today? yes but not to the detriment of others.

Did I find any of the Brady Bunch attractive? No. Now Benny Hill is another story.....

P.S. Dumpie, your toadiness is showing underneath your princely gar.

So kiss me, princess, and all will be well.

Dumpie, you're just a temptor who knows the way to many a horny-toad princesses' hearts. You, with your silver, neigh, golden tongued knowledge that is the "70s". How can I protest, yeah, fight against the inevitable that is the "War of the Worlds" the irrefutable Steely Dan's "Marigolds in the Promised Land"?

(whispering) You don't, darling; you just lie back into those Marigolds, and let Dumpster's golden tongue go to work.

Dorothy M, Please read College Pooping 101: The Four Poopers Of The Girls' Bathroom which is somewhere on this sight. (sorry I'm barely computer literate or else I would have pasted the link). Anyways read that story look for my comments starting around March.I hope you have gained proper perspective over what had happened to you. I'm a guy who can't stand to hear stories about women being subjected to other's stupidy and ignorance.Your stomach was off that day,you couldn't help it!! I wish I could go back in time and be the one guy to stand up for you because I can tell you it wouldn't have happened with me around. I was on the football team in high school and I put fellow teammates back in their place on more than one occassion for being disrespectful to girls. Its the one thing that always could get me going and I am angry for you at the thought this went on over an issue that you shouldn't be embarrassed for.The fact that you didn't get a date to prom shows how oddly immature (even for high school) people are. I said before it reflects people's own immaturity and hang ups. So I ask you Dorothy M, have you gained perspective on it and see the idiotic behavior of your peers for what it was? I can tell this had a huge impact during that time in your life. I also have a feeling you needed to share this story so thank you for doing so. It's great you can see it as funny now. Dorothy again, if you can, read the story I listed above. This is why I rail about this subject, guys!

Dorothy, this story made me cringe in sympathy for your teenaged self, how embarrassing!

(Dumpster & Bunghole, sorry to intrude with my little comment between your increasingly salacious banter...)

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- Dedecorus Cacator

Hello Scatwoman, you didn't intrude. I'm an admirer of your contribution to the board. Is Dorothy for real? Maybe. There were a lot of cruel bitches in high school. I bet Dorothy would kick their ass today though, knowing what she knows, reading what she's read, etc. As for my sweet ' Fabio-like' No Shame in it. Well, couldn't you just eat him sent him over to meet your daugher?

And to the golden-tongued Dumpie: Steely sayz

'No marigolds in the promised land
There's a hole in the ground where they used to grow
Any man left of the Rio Grande
Is the king of the world
King of the world as far as I know'

Bunghole your pop culture references are lost on TD. He thinks Steely Dan is a type of vacuum cleaner. (OHHHH just kidding Dumpster)

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"Rectum hell, killed em' both." Author Unknown

RD, thou art not far from the truth. When Bunghole refers to my "golden tongued knowledge that is the "70s"," I assume she means the 1870's.

Gimme an S!

Gimme a K!

Gimme an I!

Gimme a D!

What does it spell? Maybelline In The Underwear!

You're a grudge-holding pig, Dumpster.

XXOO

Bunghole: If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

One can sure tell Dumpster is single again.

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Regional POWER POOPING CHAMPION 1988-2006
Poop Shooter!

I am single the way Arlen Specter is a Republican: In Name Only.

Reading back up the thread, I looked at No Shame's post again. NS, I will say one thing for you, buddy: You sure know how to stay "on message"!

Dumpy, Ever trauling.... I'm surprised you are familiar with a song from the 1970s. Bellarmy Brothers, or more appropriately, Dr. Hook?

Bunghole, I lack your encyclopedic knowledge of second-tier rock singers from a generation back. Much as I hate to admit it, my reference to staying "on message" originated with the Clinton White House!

Deliberately sidestepping and obtuse, I'm convinced that Dumpster is a politician.

Hey Dumpster, since your the all knowing, check with Wikipedia and see is Clinton ever got caught leaving Skidmarks.

I figure with your CIA affiliation and knowledge of all, you could find out.

....and yet another "on-topic" post!!!

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Regional POWER POOPING CHAMPION 1988-2006
Poop Shooter!

PS, I never said I was affiliated with the CIA. But on the off chance that I were... Why would you be making fun of me like this? The Agency has its ways of making troublesome people disappear, you know.

PS writes: [C]linton ever got caught leaving Skidmarks.

Well, duhh.. In Monica's blue dress, already...

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"Odor in the court! The judge is eating beans--his wife is in the bathtub counting submarines." Author Unknown

Now Dumpster, my little friend, I was not making fun of you. I would NEVER make fun of you. You do know all as far as I'm concerned. You always have an answer to everything and the refrences to back them up. Other than being without the Miss Hermoine as of lately, who was obviously not good enough for you, I'de dare say your flawless, or fartless, I'm not sure which.

Now I do believe you do belong to the Certified Iguana Association. So if you feel like sending a pack of iguanas over here to git me, go ahead. I heard they taste like chicken and have always wanted to try them.

Iguana would probably give me skidmarks though (keeping it on-topic)

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Regional POWER POOPING CHAMPION 1988-2006
Poop Shooter!

Awesome story DorothyM, I can just see you cheering "We're #1, We're #1" and all your fellow classmates cheering along with you "Your panties are #2, your panties are #2".

Cheerleader do fart and shit, C. Everett Poop, sorry to tell you. My sister was a cheerleader and they had an overnight thing at our house one night. Being the perverted scum that I am, I hid in the kitchen and spied and listened for hours. Unfortunately, they had pizza and ice cream for dinner and the gas was gurgling. It was like a crazy farting adventure, it disgusted me so much that I almost went back to my room, but I stuck around and watched in case a few of them started to suddenly making out!!!

This will put Everett into therapy. Either that, or he will arrange to have you shipped to Gitmo.

Dumpster, the Arlen Specter comment very funny very true. Bunghole in the, thats very nice of you to say.
Guys, I do think the story deserved the attention because it was so personal. If Dorothy M does exist I wanted to show her this experience was an important one and eventhough this all annoymous in a way its still probably took alot to share it.

I passed a MENSA test once. It must not be such a big deal!

And this story brings back just how devastating tiny things in high school could indeed ruin ones life.

I'm sure we all can remember someone who threw up on themselves during parties or had open flies during assemblies, etc,. My heart goes out to anyone who had to endure anything like this, even though I used to make fun of the cheerleaders. I was kind of a jock.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969

That must have been awfull, but it could have been worse. You could have let everything loose in front of the crowd.
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Jammin' lo'flo's since 1977.