Good story Nino...I plan on fying to San Francisco in a few months. You have given me an idea that may get me a little more space and make my flight more comfortable, smellier but more comfortable.

I have heard that Atlanta is such a large hub that if you die and go to hell you are routed through it.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Hey, intriguing tale Nino. It's not clear to me what you did with your white undershorts. You say that the you disposed of them, and that
you then cleaned them as best you could. Were you still wearing these when you back to your seat? That would have been a prime source of the odor. You know, your story reminds me that even though I am becoming a shameless shitter thanks largely to this site, I think even a shameless shitter cannot cope with a situation like the one you faced. Oh, and by the way, did the flight attendant bid you goodbye in any "knowing" way?

having to wash your poop soaked skivvies in a flying aircraft latrine is a surefire way to ruin your day. I believe you truly earned your "badge of dishonor".

Airplane seats are so cramped anyways. This is one way of ensuring you get more stretch-out room.

The late great George Carlin once observed, "The seat you are sitting on can be an emergency life preserver, and the previous person in that seat probably drank a lot of beer and farted on that same seat."

Nino says he disposed of the undergarments and tried to clean up his shorts as best he could in the sink. He was wearing shorts, and his undergarments got the heave-ho. This means he was free-balling for the rest of the flight.

Nino, maybe you can find a pair of these shorts in khaki brown!

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Nino. The causal way in which you relate this episode leads me to believe that shitting yourself in this way is not an uncommon occurrence. Can you give us some idea of how often you have to clean yourself up after a release misjudgment?

I always sit on an aisle and never let people squeeze past me. You've provided a great example of why. I get up and move into the aisle. And when I sit back down, I DO NOT grab the top of the seat in front, bend it back as a way to ease myself into my seat, then release it -- boing -- like it was a slingshot. I have people do this to me all the fucking time. (Just hoping to spread my views on airplane courtesy.)

I hope it was on Delta....

Note to self: Self, sit behind Logjam and fuck with his seat on the next cross country flight. Sling shot his skull a few times, knees in the back of the seat, shoeless feet over the headrest, etc. Bring flowers as well.
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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Yeah I'm free.......
FREE BALLIN!!!!
Free ballin I'm a free ballin.
With apologies to Tom Petty, I just couldn't help it.

It's too bad you expelled all your fecal matter. I would have left a log on the bathroom floor (or in your case a puddle of brown drizzle) to show my displeasure with the airline's new policy of charging for baggage. There are ways to use the poop to get even, this is only one of many methods...
----Captain Craptastic!!!

And WHAT does Nicholson say in the film The Bucket List? Never EVER trust a fart! Thats a perfect example right there.
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

Yup musta been the chilidogs, looks like you got a little more than what you bargained for. Lol good story. Next time don't wear white.

Weew..I'm glad I wasn't on that plane. If you smelled your own shit and it was bad, just image how bad it smelled to the other people on the flight. I don't mind the smell of my defectation, but others, forgettabadit.

Bilge -- It's been years since I looked forward to a flight. But now I'll be looking with great anticipation over my shoulder hoping it's you fucking with my seat and, if I'm lucky, coming right over the top of it. (And don't forget that my seat cushion can be used as a flirtation device and to put on your own mask before helping me with mine.) My next flight is in three weeks -- out to Vegas. Ta.

what else to expect ? Airlines now treat passengers like crap. The airline employees have crappy attitudes. The worn out planes look like crap. So what is so wrong with a passenger having a crap attack ? Further, with all the airline surcharges, maybe the next will be pay toilets on planes. Now that would make you crap your pants.

Funny story. You weren't embarrASSed to be practically bare assed free balling and all? That was good PNutty.lol. I would be horrified.

To quote Bart Simpson,
" ahh, there's nothing quite like an unfurnished basement"

True, butt hell! if the basement is unfurnished, for whatever reason, you gotta keep that place sweapt up!_______
Did I just fart?.... Oh shit! NO!!

Logjam, just how were you planning to use that seat cushion as a "flirtation" device when it comes to Bilge. I'm just curious. I may try to get on that flight.

Vegas LJ? I'm not too far away, I could come up and meet ya...that would be cool, maybe not so much fun as the airplane antics, but we could certainly have lunch or something, if your itinerary allows.
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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Funny thing - after the last 2 times I ate Nathan's hotdogs I too got a case of the runs.

I never had a problem with there dogs in the past - they must be using subpar product these days.

I give you props for even getting ON the flight. I would have high-tailed it back to my house is embarrassment!

The human body was never made to digest shit like Nathan's. The human body was never made to stand the smell of the after math of Nathan's shit.

Whoa, what nastys things

I thought only chicks wore designer shorts?

Nino, you seem very nonchalant about shitting your pants and then boarding a plane. Seems like they would have denied you with shit running down your legs . . .

Bilge, Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately), I'm in and out of Vegas pretty fast -- on my way to the rapids of the Grand Canyon. What a pity, because I doubt that Class V rapids can deliver the same thrill that you can.

I laughed hard at this one, especially telling the stewardess what time it was and the passengers moving away. Oh hell all by the way my first post, I LOVE reading about poop stories.

I don't buy it. There is always a little bit of time to access the lavatories after boarding but prior to departure. I do not believe your assertion that the flight attendant denied you access, thus, I do not believe the story..liar!!!

Liar Liar, pants on fire. Sorta.

Funny as hell, simply because of the interaction with the stewardess. It made me recall a time when I stank out a row of passengers (oddly enough, out of Atlanta), but in my case it was from B.O. after having to run between flights. I enjoyed that WAY too much!

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Well, you don't actually blow on it. That's just an expression.