It is amazing the things we will do despite every warning to the contrary. Shitty way to spend Christmas (yuk, yuk!).

Very good first story. Are you and said boyfriend still together?

Good story, MMM, and I DOO love a triple initial moniker!

Regarding Dumpie's question: not only is he the friendly sort, he also likes to try to engineer matches amongst the Poop Reporters. I'd say he's eligible, but his girlfriend probably wouldn't appreciate it!

Glad you're with us!

Whoops! Thank you, GGG, for clearing up the embarassing double entendre in my question above about the boyfriend! MMM, I was just curious about whether your relationship survived such an ordeal.

This just goes to show that you have to be careful about what you say online, because it is sometimes really easy for people to take something in a way you didn't intend.

I was certainly not trying to "come on." I'm sure you're an attractive lady, MMM, but my girlfriend Hermione keeps me pretty busy these days, and, as you can see from GGG's post, there is already a long waiting list of ladies on this site in the event Dumpster should once again become eligible (har, har!).

Anyway, I have posted for debate on the forums the proposition that All the Good Women on PR Are Already Taken.

It's nice to see someone be so attentive to their significant other.

My question is did you call the restaurant and complain? Also, did you find out from the BBB if anyone else had trouble that evening? I'm sure there would have been a horde of you sick because you surely weren't the only ones eating the shrimp.

By the way, I got food poisoning from Chinese Food too. It isn't pretty, is it?

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Yup, definitely food poisoning. There's one place where I used to live that got shut down because so many people ended up annihilating their bathrooms after eating there. I ate there only once and, yep, multiple explosions from both ends. There's a much better Chinese place on the other side of town, and I always just have one big shit after eating there not followed by anything else. I wouldn't eat anything that looks weird--send it back and/or go elsewhere.

When you're in the restroom at a Chinese place, make sure to double flush--there are LONG pipes to the kitchen! ;)

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Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

Thank you for ensuring that I NEVER eat at a "Chinese buffet." This is exactly what I would expect from eating at such a place.

I love the name--Mass Methane Machine. Sounds like a metal or industrial band name.

I got together with a few girlfriends Saturday night, and we ended up at a Chinese place. One gal insisted on ordering wonton soup as her choice. When it came, I was stirring mine around, and it appears to be "Leftover Stew". There's every meat I've ever seen in there, and a few I couldn't identify. Surf and Turf. When my spoon dredged up a shrimp, I flicked it into the wonton gal's bowl and waited for the other courses. It was all just too random for me. Not to mention slimy. The other items were good, though, and no one had an adverse reaction, so at least the joint must have been clean.

i love buffets, especially of the Chinese variety. but there are certain foods i will never eat from a buffet, shrimp being pretty high on the list. thank you for the confirmation that this is a good idea.
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i love poop.

Is MMM a guy because this is too disturbing to have been written by a woman?

Nice try, there, C. Ev. I assumed by the use of the word "boyfriend" in the story that MMM was a girl. I could have been wrong, but a quick check to MMM's profile confirms she is female.

Yay! Another girl. We rock.

Meaning no disrespect to the gents, of course! We love, Love, LOVE the guys.

Hey, Shit happens, huh? I hope u did not eat there again!

Dumpster, I ate the shrimp before and was fine, and yes Christmas was hell...actually yes, my boyfriend and I are still together. As a matter of fact we are going to hit our six months on 5/11. The food poisoning didn't scare him off...and thanks, I actually couldn't wait to share that. I found the sit and was like...oh my god fellow poopers online!
Farting strong since 1985...

Thanks GGG! And Dumpster, thanks, I've been told by many that I'm attractive, my poor boyfriend seems to think so even though I fart on him at night...hee hee.
Farting strong since 1985...

daphne, I was in so much pain but I was still able to manage to get him into bed...ah what love does...I was tempted to leave him on the steps and let my juicy booty squirt all over the toilet. You know, I forgot to mention that I had shit to much that my asshole burned for hours. It was like I was pooping fire. I actually tried to sue but the health dept didn't find anything I'm like are your retarded or do I need to bring you the shrimp? Yeah so it didn't work, yet I know a lot of people who had the same thing happen, yet it was at different times. I NEVER want to have food poisnoing again.
Farting strong since 1985...

Yeah, double flush, there is another awesome chinese place that we have eaten at before the incident and it is a buffet, but they check the food every hour on the hour and it's great. I usually take a huge shit followed by a mass production of gas which makes me feel g o o d. I don't believe I have ever used the restroom at a chinese restaurant, probably because the urge has never struck me at one. Which reminds me, my boyfriend...I love him but he has this thing about shitting in public it really annoies me I'm like don't be a pooping prude, just do it man, granted that the bathroom is clean.
Farting strong since 1985...

Thank you Shatty! I was thinking that as well when I made it up. It describes me perfectly, but it makes a great band name.
Farting strong since 1985...

Glad to disturb you CEP, the last time I checked I have boobs and nothing swinging down below...so I guess that defines me as a woman. Sorry to burst your bubble but yes women do poop and fart and do nasty things, me being one of them. I mean honestly have you gone through life thinking women don't shit? How the hell would we get rid of the food we have eaten? Or how would we get rid of food poisoning that is in our intestines? How would you feel if I told you my mother has Irritable Bowel Syndrome? That's right my MOM constantly shits. I can't believe that you have thought women don't do this, you obviously have to be making this up or you must be a complete idiot.
Farting strong since 1985...

GGG we do rule! And to the guys out there who appreciate women who aren't afraid to talk about pooping you guys rule! I changed my boyfriend, he used to hate talking about shitting and hated the word poop...now he has no problems talking about his bowels and saying the word poop. I'm pretty proud of myself.
Farting strong since 1985...

MMM, I might be an idiot but I know the the difference between "I said" and "I'm like", which is that only dullard valley girl wannabees say the latter. I also see that you are treying to get a million points on one article by posting countless comments to your own story. I'm like, "shut up already"

It's great that both the guys and the ladies are willing to be honest-to-goodness shameless shitters. It just reinforces the whole principle behind PoopReport--we all do it! Thak you to all the guys and gals that make this community the greatness it is!

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Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

CEP I could honestly care less about the points. I didn't even know what that number was next to everyone's names. I thought it was just a number of posts that were made or something. And you can make fun of me all you want for saying "I'm like" I honestly could care less. When I say "I'm like", that's pretty much what I'm thinking. Don't be ticked off that someone called you out on the fact that you believe something ridiculous and scientifically impossible. And if being from a small town in Missouri makes me a "valley girl" then...ok, whatever you think man.
Farting strong since 1985...

MMM, take it easy, girl! You wrote a good first story. Now let the rest of us discuss it, while you go look around, and feel free to comment on the many, many other stories on this site which will show you that you're playing in the big leagues now!

The only time i remember getting ill after eating chinese food it involved no shrimp but a couple very strong rum concoctions called zombies. I'm a horror movie junkie so i had to have at least two of them, but i did vomit all the next day... no thunder from down under though. The best and worst case of food poisoning i've ever seen was birthed at friendly's, it came from some fajitas, i really want to send the story in but i have to get approval from the buddy that it happened to. Oh yeah, excellent first story 3m. It just proves that we men, we're retarded about food, i have soldiered on even after duly noting things that look unusual with my food and have paid the price a few times. Good to hear that y'all are still together though.

Dumpster walks into a bar and says, "bartender, make me a Zombie, quick!"

"Sorry," says the bartender, "God already beat me to it."

A dyslexic nam walks into a bra.....

LOL, got any short poop related jokes? I am farting an awful lot tonight(or wee hours of the morning) but don't know how to make a good one-liner out of it. It's from eating pizza that was sitting out. Hopefully I wasn't asking for trouble.

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Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

I can hear Dumpie flipping through the stack of joke books and scrolling down his bookmarks from here! He's gotta have some!

Haha funny posts!

MMM welcome aboard the Pooship Report-o-Prise, great story and it is truly refreshing to see such candidity in your narrative.

CEP, I creased up at your comments... always brings a tear to mine eye! MMM CEP (if you're not already familiar) has some amusing traits and means no harm) :) With hindsight I don't think she was trying to rack up the points...

I suffered similar atrocities on my birthday last year. My GF had kindly offered to take me to Sydney Fish Market where we (stupidly) partook in some (supposedly) cooked prawns. Within 10 minutes, I was moreorless hallucinating and was subsequently bedridden for 2 days, suffering similar ailments to you and your chap. It was severe as.

I'm surprised it took so long to get into your systems and take effect as I thought fp occurred pretty quickly. I dunno, maybe it's dependant upon the food and bacteria in question, but I always believed you knew about it within an hour or two of consuming the offending food. Either way, it was rougher than the rough end of a pineapple.

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You can't polish a turd

Look at Funniest Poop Joke I Ever Heard. Feel free to add a better one.

I ate pizza last night that had been sitting out for a long time and, yup, shitting and puking. I feel a little weak right now (no sleeping, rode my bike to and from my last exam WOOO) but I'm over the worst part. I hardly ever get sick from anything I eat.

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Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

I love the chinese buffet, but... come on...
Spotted shrimp? You should have known better.

You learned a painful lesson that Christmas weekend, one that all readers here should very well know by now. If the food looks suspicious, don't eat it.

Goodness forbid you get food poisoning again, but if you get sick from a restaurant's food, call the better business bureau.

Shrimp are wired little buggers, they must not have liked you cuz they wanted out.....

............... which brings me to the reason I have never eaten any chinese food and never will or shrimp for that matter, and never will eat shrimp

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Turd Terrorist

George, I know. I love reading CEP's responses to just about anything, but mainly when someone provokes him to say something back. I know he means no harm, his responses are just hilarious!
Farting strong since 1985...

MMM (I also like Sharty's designation of you as "3M"), who is "George"?

And, because I hope you plan to hang around PR for a long time, I must counsel you not to tangle unnecessarily with C. Everett Poop. Two adages come to mind: First, "never get into a pissing contest with a polecat."

The second is something Professor Dumpster uses to teach the Supremacy Clause of the United States Constitution to his law students. This Clause provides that federal law trumps state law in matters of legitimate federal authority. Of course, 200+ years of fuss has been over what is "legitimate federal authority."

Prof. Dumpster's summation: "They have the bomb."

Everett has the bomb, babe!

The poop bomb!

Sorry about the food poisoning. I always love a farty woman, and one who is not ashamed of her bodily functions. I also like the name "Mass Methane Machine."

When I was in college, my nickname was "Methane Boy" Pronounce "mee-thane," because we had an old British mine ventilation prof. and I guess its pronounced "mee-thane" in Britain.