Insane laughter in a stall? I could handle that. It`s the guys who start crying or preaching religion while on the pan that do my head in.

Please use this experience to draw up your inner strength and overcome your shyness with regards to pooping. I totally understand about laughing at inappropriate times and places. I was raised in a catholic family and going to church used to just set me off. I'd giggle at something not even all that funny and before you know it, my cackles of laughter would be echoing off every surface in the place! I'd always drag another kid down with me too. Inevitably, I'd get dragged out to the car and given a stern lecture or a whack upside the head for "embarrassing everyone in front of God!" (cuz apparently God was only in the church on Sunday mornings???). Good times, boy do I miss childhood!

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

They probably figured that you were tickling your balls.

Balls? I figured this for a chick story. Who the hell ever heard of a giggly man?

When i read that the writer was from sydney i couldnt help but read this story as if the crocadill hunter was telling it. hahahhahahah

balls, clit, whatever.

Anonymous Coward, dead men tell no tales.

This may have been short, but I thought was funny because I had a similar experience in bed a few months ago.

I'd gone to bed around 2 AM on a Friday night, which was earlier than usual. Gator, our American Bulldog, was in between Mr. daphne and me. He's a nice-sized dog who sometimes gets gas.

It was very quiet for a few minutes; the water fountain was bubbling and everything was so calm. I was drifting off into a peaceful sleep when I heard a silent but deadly shake the bedspread.

"Pppppppppffffffffffffffttt."

Gator lifts his head and looks at his ass, which is what he does when he farts like that, and I started to giggle.

It was impossible to stop. Every time I tried to stop, I started again. Then Gator farted a second time and I lost it.

"Ttthhpphhhtt."

Mr. daphne's trying to sleep, and I was now in a fit of hysterics. It felt like a damned slumber party after the hosting mom turned the lights off, when you're supposed to be going to sleep but can't, and that makes it all the harder to stop giggling into the palm of your hand.

Finally, Mr. daphne said, "Are you going to live?" And that made me laugh even harder. It took about 5 minutes for me to calm down.

Yes. Farts are funny.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Chumbly's a chum according to the bio.
I'm suprised it didn't turn into a volume/stench/length fart-off.

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You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....

You see, in that same situation I'd be in a rush so I could be the first one to let out a big ripper. Farts are funny, even on my worst days a really loud fart can make me chuckle.

thats funny, i almost busted out laughing one day a guy in the next stall to me was utterly shameless, grunting, panting and plop plop plop.

Funny story. Being shameful, I often wait until all the stalls are empty before making my exit. While doing so the other day, I made an interesting discovery: if I wait 3 to 5 minutes after making my deposit to wipe, I can significantly reduce the number of required wipes! It would seem that a little dry time really cuts down on the wipe work. In attempt to verify my discovery, I decided to use this approach full-time, even when no shameful wait time was required. I was surprised to find it works very well and has the added benefit of saving toilet paper! I think I may have saved at least a roll in the last month of employing this method. I was hesitant at first, concerned that it would be a bit itchy but I'm happy to report that after using this method for almost two months, there's no itch or other side effects to be noticed. I'm excited and happy to have an accepting community with which to share it. Hopefully some of you will be able to put this great suggestion to use!

Q: What do you call a "giggly man"?

A: Squidly
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Infantry Rulz.

Dry, that could be a truly legendary breakthrough, have you thought about pursuing a government grant? Given the paper-savings you may be able to get Al Gore on board with you. I've been wanting to do that for years-not work with Al Gore, I mean get a government grant for something ridiculous so I can write a few bogus reports while living the easy life.

Its nice to hear from a happy shitter once in awhile. That is probably the RAREST of all shitters. Some one who is jocular and appreciates the true hilarity of NO ONE wanted to drop the first DOOK of Earl and then he loses the battle. That is some funny shit there. Think about it you would actually expend the effort to do a flush to mask the sound of a fart? Now THAT is comedy right there. I never knew how many shameless shitters or shameful ones too were out there until joining PR. Regardless though a happy shitter is always welcome here.
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

Daphne your story cracked me up! Thank you!

The sound of a fart, hilarious.
The smell? Nooot so much.
SBD's suck, and my hubz releases them at night, and they are so bad they wake me up.
But if I'm in a public bathroom, and some one lets one loose, I always laugh.

This is a remarkable story. Chumbly goes from a self-declared shy shitter to ripping 'em off and laughing aloud, all within a few seconds -- a Jekyll-Hyde transformation caused by a single fart. Wow.

I would have to agree with CEP (and I squirm as I say that), that "giggly mood" just isn't something a guy, here in the States anyway, would experience (or at least admit to). Nor would a guy call his ass a "bum." But I assume these are cultural differences at work. We don't say "arse," either. But, nice story, Giggly Bum.

I have, in the past, been barely able to control laughter in the shitter. Let's face it: toilet farts can be darn funny.

Usually the thought of huffing somebody else's shit does put a damper on things.

Did you lift your feet so no one could identify you by your shoe?

Sometimes when i am bored i place some toilet paper on top of the closed toilet seat lid and poop on that. Then from my bag i get out my little "paper party gear" small paper hats, rabbit teeth, rabbit ears whiskers, and then i stick them onto the poop perhaps to make a rabbit or a face with a party hat on.
Then i leave the cubicle and laugh hysterically in my office while i imagine people opening that cubicle door..

Lift your feet! Waste of time. The green mist that follows you as you leave the stall, serves only to point the finger!

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like a constipated accountant- I worked it out with a pencil.

this is a great shamefull shitter story. I am wondering how noxious the odor must have been with that many poopers pooping at one time. Usually if a man sits,he shits. I think if that inpoopto coming out potty doesn't turn you into a shameless shitter now, nothing will. good story. good laugh.

at college its hard to hide your farts! because everyone is always around you! hahaha you can't help but let it out! hahahahaha

OMG...that was YOU?!?!

It must be something in the vegemite..

Ever since "Finding Nemo" my whole family announces our poops with "I gotta see a man about a wallaby.."

Just tying into the whole Aussy thang..

Another fun activity to do in busy public restrooms is to carefully examine the guy next to you's shoes and try to figure out what kind of a shitter he'll be. One would think a business man in nicely shined shoes would be shameful and uptight, but those are usually the loudest and splashiest of all! I guess they have somewhere to be.
Anyone else have some shoe-to-shame ratios to share?

If I saw you peering under my stall, I'd grab the sharpest turd I could, and stick it in your eye! Pervert. People like you should have been shit at birth._______
like a constipated accountant- I worked it out with a pencil.

ahh, i love the stalls at work. i work for caterpillar, and there are a lot of guys whove been factory guys for 30+ years. fat, sloppy, and apparently not very good with their diets. one of my favorite pasttimes is just sittin in there pretending to do my duty and just tryin not to laugh my ass off at the guys in the other stalls gruntin, groanin, blowin ass all over the place.. NOTHIN perks up a bad day like the entertainment in the shit room.

RE: doniker

I admit there's nothing like giving oneself a good ball tickle, but you get an even better reaction if you reach under and try it on people in adjacent cubicles.
:-)

I might have been giggly but let me assure everyone my farts were very manly, chunky and full of turtle-heady goodness.

Haha! Some funny stuff here.

I have a poop story too. I used to service photo labs at drug stores and department stores.

One day, I find myself in a major department store chain, and as I bend down to pull one of the covers off of the photo processing machine, I realized I was not going to be bending much further without crapping myself. I had a major cramp. Forehead sweaty, clammy hands, I-gotta-crap-NOW cramp.

I ask the one hour photo girl where the restroom is, and take off at almost a trot, head down, on a mission.

I see the restrooms sign and just make a quick right turn into the restroom. I notice there's no one inside - so I am relieved that I don't have to worry about exposing others to Vesuvius. I do my job and feel so much better. However, all is not well. As I am wiping my butt, people enter the restroom. Not just any people - a WOMAN and her daughters (I am a man). Holy Jesus, I realized I had been in such a hurry to take a crap that I didn't even notice that it was the women's restroom! It didn't help that the entry to the restroom didn't have a door with a sign on it, it was just one of those type where the corridor reverses on itself to block the view. I was freaking out so bad. I had visions of getting caught and being arrested!

I had to wait them out inside my stall. No big deal right? Wrong. Now there JUST HAS TO BE a steady stream of women coming into the bathroom for a HALF HOUR.

I did finally get a chance to make a break, and got away without anyone seeing me, but wow did that scare me.

And then I had to deal with the photo lab girl looking at me as if she were wondering what the hell had happened to me in the bathroom since I had been gone for nearly 45 minutes...

Does anybody know if those coffee shot flavorings cause loose poo?

Chumbly, has anyone that was in the restroom that day begun making inquiries about who was the shameful shitter that had his first shameless shitter laughing gas debut(t)? It seems to me that someone must have been curious and the event had to be relived considering how amusing it must have been to BE THERE. At least one of those shitters had to have gone back to his office/cubicle laughing and dyeing to tell someone what had just happened in the jon. funny. If the laughing gas event hasn't started any rumurs by now, then it means only one thing. You, Chum, work with some of the most shameful'est shitters in the world! And it's your calling to convert them.

Just picking up on the honourable Daphne's comment ' yes farts are funny'.... Years ago, I worked as an Apple computer engineer, just around the time that Apple started to play with sound etc. I had occassion to call at a client (not naming them), who, just for giggles had set up a small mic. on a seat infront of a spare computer. Everytime a memeber of staff felt one brewing, they sat on said seat, and waited. At the critical moment, they hit the 'record' button.

After months of this practice, they had built up a sizable folder of farts.

Anyhoo, again I visited... at the same time as a pretentious sales person, who everyone took an instant dislike to.

It would be remiss of me at this point, not to indicate that said Apple computer was hooked up to a powerfull Hi-Fi.

Just as the sales guy is going for the kill, some bright spark highlighted the whole content of the fart folder, ramped up the volume, and hit 'enter'.

The net result was fart after fart, wet, short, long, deep bass, you name it. It lasted for about 12 mins. Needless to say, everyone in the room was on the floor, crying with laughter, all except the sales guy, who just ran off. - - True story, and I dont think I hav ever laughed so much.

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like a constipated accountant- I worked it out with a pencil.

Yes, Yes,

I was in a public stall once and did my business. Right when I flushed I saw one section of my sewage was almost white, another section had a lot of blood on it...my gut reaction was a deep laugh...all the others in their stall seemed to exit as fast as possible due to the laugh.

AC. Having read you little account I too am exiting the scene as fast as possible, thanking god that I can't hear your deep laugh.

Whew! Your story made me laugh, Baron. i wish I'd been there. Did the boss find out?

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Find out? Twas he who rigged up the mike in the first place!

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like a constipated accountant- I worked it out with a pencil.

Theres a sort of unwritten rule about dunny etiquette, where you never use a stall directly next to an occupied one (if possible). If you enter a crap room with, say, 3 stalls, and they're all empty (assuming they're Fit For Purpose) then you never take the middle one, because that would force the next poor bugger to choke a loaf right next to you. Generally speaking, always leave a one-stall buffer.
I hate it when I've followed the unwritten rule, only to have some drongo come and park his quoit right next door to me (and its usually some noisy bastard who wheezes and grunts and between each round of reverse-parking, makes these loud sigh-of-relief noises).
It just seems a bit disrespectful (but I guess it IS pretty funny when you can hear them muttering to themselves, especially in a foreign language).

Welcome to Poopreport, Blind Mullet!

What's a dunny?

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Thank you, Daphne.
The Dunny is an Australian term meaning "toilet". The dunny was originally the old out-house, but these days its a generic term covering all places where one can unload.
(Origin of the word is unknown to me, but its a word that all Aussies know!)

When my poop is hard and strong,
I travel about all day long.
But when my poop is wet and runny,
I never stray far from my favorite dunny.

Dunny... Thank you for the su-pport you gave me...
Dunny... When I had to poop or fart or pee...
My trousers are down and the newspaper's here,
My diet causes my neighbors fear,
Oh, Dunny, you're so true, I gotta poo.

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You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....

LMAO!!!
Thanks, PD and RC13. I didn't realise that you guys could come up with pooetry and lyrics so easily. Its great to see the good old dunny-can receiving a bit of international recognition.

Then I hope that you've voted in our current contest! Go to front page and check out the Schoff Limerick contest.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

BM, if it involves poop, farts, or the W.C., we get creative.
We're a strange but fun group, so grab a bog roll and jump in feet first! Welcome to the gang.
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You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....

If you are concerned about shoe recognition in an office stall, don't wear distinctive shoes. For those of you who dig the entertainment value of others' noise, you'd do well to hang out in airport bathrooms. Many an arse tortured by foreign cuisine (or airline food) can be heard in the neighboring stalls...
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"Piece out!"

About ten years ago when I worked in an office I was a heavy drinker. I would routinely down a 12 pack. This would result in some really ugly blood filled bowel movements, you know the sort that looked like Manson murder scene.

One of my favorite tricks was to switch stalls mid movement and not flush the evidence. I would snicker to myself if someone walked into it and groaned...

Regarding the term "dunny"... I first heard the term in the first "Crocodile Dundee" film, when Paul Hogan's character Mick is getting settled in his hotel room in NYC. He goes to the bathroom (which is equipped with a bidet as well as a standard commode), looks at the bidet, and shouts "Hey! What kind of dunny is this?!". After a few seconds he hits the flush lever with his boot, then the scene cuts to the front of the hotel, where Linda Kozlowski's character is getting into the limo, but before she get's in, Mick yells down "Hey! It's for your backside!".

"Hey! its for washing your backside in"

I think.

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Did I just fart?.... Oh shit! NO!!