All I could think of when I read this is

One Turd, Two Turd
Black Turd, Green Turd.

That's disgusting!

Man,that was a nuclear waste pile.We now know where Ben and Jerry got the inspiration for alot of their flavors.Merry Christmas,Happy Chanukah,and most of all HAPPY POOH YEAR!

Man, that pile is evil. They probably didn't even bother to clean that latrine - they likely just poured concrete into the room and sealed it for eternity.

PooperGal
"Searching for the Origin of the Feces"

McQuire AFB is only about 45 mins west of where I live. I've done some civilian work there and i can say the toilets haven't changed all that much....

The Baskin Robbins referance was particularly jarring. Thank you for that.

SamDamnit!
Rectum Rector
of
The Church of Poop
http://groups.myspace.com/THECHURCHOFPOOP

I have seen this type of poop pile myself. I also saw, more recently, a large poop pile that appeared to have turned greyish over time. This made me wonder whether your Baskin Robbins Sundae would eventually just become one giant dish of mocha.

What a pile of shit.

Kind of reminds me of camping in the woods with the dump toilets. Get to see what everyone else is eating. I even took a picture down one before as a prank on someone.

I'm not so worried about nuclear waste anymore.

So, SamDamnit, shall I send you a gift certificate to BR for Christmas so you can go down and get some Funky Chunky Monkey Doo with fudge sauce?

Thank you all for your wonderful acceptance of my story. I have a few poot adventures and more poop stories, all true, that I shall share with you soon. Merry Christmas, or whatever, to all of you.

Why are so many public toilets blocked in the USA? This most basic component of civilisation should surely be regularly cleaned and maintained to a standard rather higher than in the third world. Instead, we read constantly of open stalls and toilets overflowing - and of the filthy habits of correspondents, who seem incapable of aiming straight. I have had only one American shit in my john and he did not wipe his arse. If only for hygienic reasons perhaps I should not make it two!

I liked the title of this story as much as I liked the story itself.

And, it is bizarre that this would happen without someone unclogging it. After all, would any general or colonel drop trough on this mountain of poo?

I don't think that would happen.

.....hugging bunnies since 1969

That sounds....absolutely delicious. I want some ice cream now. A nice sundae from somewhere. MMMMMMM....with fudge sauce.

I was at my daughter's school once for her play and in the crapper there was this huge load of crap up to the rim in chunks. I decided someone must have brought their dog into crap. It smelled terrible.

Instead of Agent Orange being used in Viet Nam, the U.S. could have stored this unholy load and named it Agent Brown, then dropped it on the Viet Cong, who would have surrendered immediately!
Have a crappy day!
La Petomaine

Brave hobbit, I give you the Toilet Paper of Elindriel. It is a rare thing, for it glows blue whenever turds draw near. Now go, with the blessings of elves and dwarves, and do what must be done.

I hear they are installing a theme ride at McGuire to keep the waiting GI's amused, it's called Poo Mountian. It should be ready to open by spring. In the mean time, they need all the poop help they can get to build that thing. It's grown over 100 ft. tall since 1961. Bye the way, loved the line -- An asshole has its breaking point, a point beyond which it is unable to maintain its pucker and must relax and let gravity take over. FUNNY

I woulda shit on the floor make use of the TP instead of wasting a perfectly godd handkerchief

That sir was a foul image. I am glad you found a bush.
Bushes
Mountains
The imagery reeks of the Bible

Happy trails,
L. Wrong
Chairman & CEO, PPK Industries

I was at a scout camp once (different from my favorite one )and most of the kids were afraid of shitting in latrines.

So they used the port-a-crappers the camp had thoughtfully provided. (If the camp hadn't I think they'd have about 500 lawsuits from parents about their kids who were severly constipated) The port-o-crappers were cleaned weekely.

The sign on the door plainly sayd that it should not be used for more than 15 people 40 hours a week. These were used by 700 people ALL the hours of the week. THere were a total of 7 port-o-crappers in the camp of 1000 people. by Wednesday, the whole tank was filled. The water was brownish-green, not blue. It smelled worse than a latrine. The foul gas produced would put any Iraqi poison gas to shame. If one dropped a lit match down the vent pipe, the resulting explosion would put Hiroshima down the toilet. (pun intended)

On Thursday, when they were scheduled to be "serviced," the 4 least used one were. THe three by the dining hall (Most often used) were not. And so, after being filled for a week, they continued to be filled. I had the unfortunate chore of having to dump in one, becuase the staff latrine was too far away. (and it is illegal to use some other campsites latrine)

There was no TP and shit was in a pile through the hole. Bineg there no where else to go (the other two were worse) I placed my contribution in the urinal.

Damn it, i made a story in a post again.

KOC, you and I share a problem about wanting to push out our stories into these comments (for which our more self-controlled seniors have taken me to task). Didn't they teach you to dig a latrine at scout camp? God, there is a story about that I want to tell SO BAD....

But, to follow up on Daphne's comment about enjoying the title, can we put a capper on the Christmas season by thinking of some PR related lyrics for our favorite Christmas songs? (No doubt, somebody has already beat me to it.) Anyway:

"Hark the herald angels sing,
Jumbo's pills are just the thing.
Peace on earth and mercy mild,
Two for man, and one for child."

(my Daddy taught me that one when I was 9)

--or--

"Away from the Manger"

--or--

"Silent Plight" (which might have been a good alternative title to this story)

--or--

"O Go, All Ye Faithful"

--or--

"Jingle Balls"

--or--

"Lo, How a Fart E're Blooming"

--or--

"The First Bowel"

--or--

"We Three Kings of the Porcelain Jar"

--or--

"I Saw Three Shits Come Sailing In"

--or--

"Deck the Stalls"

Some don't even need any work, such as "Do You Hear what I Hear?," or "The Boar's Head Carol," but I'll quit now. I think I've done enough damage, don't you?

bravo dumpster, bravo. I had a tear of joy in my eye. Well, the season is over and I certainly had my share of yule logs this holiday.

Anyone in the construction business will be able to contribute to this story. Almost every porta-john has huge amounts of feces in them, coming up to a big "mountain" in the middle. Especially the more "remote" job sites.

Woknblues, I mentioned in another post that we all have to choose, with Kate Smith, where "the moon comes over the mountain."

I'm glad your tear was in your eye and not your anus. Do you know how painful an anal fistua can be? Pope Leo X had one, and it changed the course of history!

Sorry, I meant "anal fistula." From such crap are medical malpractice cases made.

Damn, dumpster. Those were amazing. My best try was at making a poop acronym from FORD.
Heres one song though:

"O damn it ye crappers
You fouled up my toi-let
O co-ome and clean it u-up
CHRI-IST that smells"

The above is of "O come all ye faithful"

This is from Deck the halls:

"Crap the stalls with a hang-over
Cra-cra-cra-cra-crap--crap-crap-crap-crap

U-se a whole roll of paper
Fluh-fluh-fluh-fluh-flush--fluh-fluh-fluh-flush

Oh-h crap the toi-let's flooding
Shi-shi-shi-shi-shi-shi-shi-shi-shit

Flee the bathroom quickly now
Buh-buh-buh-buh-bye--bye-bye-bye-BYE!!

Enjoy!

Uh, KOC, maybe we could fine-tune this just a *little* bit between now and December??

thankfully I don't know about fistulas yet. I am getting into a Bachelors of Nursing, and hope to become a more enlightened poster here one day. Speaking of enlightenment, I need to neuter a legless chocolate lab now.

woknblues, I probably need to do a post over on the forums on "Pope Leo X and the fistula that changed history," but I don't have time to adequately research it right now. Anyone else here into XVI Century European History?

And, yes, AB2K, I know I split an infinitive in the paragraph above, but isn't that appropriate in a discussion about a fistula?

Dumpster, there was a thing on Pope Leo X in Uncle Johns Bathroom Reader, sure you didn't get it there?

bunga, are you volunteering to co-author? What an authoritative source!

Whatever happened to the Chief? This is good.

That is nasty. I hope that whoever got stuck unclogging the shit laden commode, got a hefty bonus that week. They earned it.
_______
"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

Reminds me of a porto poty where I used to work, I swear it was a heaping pile of assorted poop,

This was my first post on PR. I enjoyed it but was unable to join in on the comments
because of something very stupid. I forgot my user name! Yes yes.......I know.......you forget your password but nobody forgets their user name.

I remembered chiefthunderbutt but I forgot that the c & t were upper rather than lower case. I finally got the nerve to e-mail Dave and find out who I was. Ever since I have been trying to make up for lost time.

I remain faithfully yours... ChiefThunderbutt.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

This was a great first story Chief. It reminded me of a time in high school. We all had cars that we loved to tinker with and I was no exception. I decided to kill two birds with one stone by working at a gas station so I could use the garage to tinker between customers coming in for gas. The owner was a craggy old man who hated to have to clean up messes in the bathrooms and would often curse up a storm if he found the "vile pile" of a passing customer clogging the bowl.

One day I went in to find the most massive pile of shit I had ever seen. It surely must have been a situation, as your story, of multiple defecators. I was afraid to tell the old man, and was resigned to wait in fear of when he had to use the bathroom. Then I saw him grab the newspaper and I held my ears waiting for the tirade. Nothing happened. No yelling, cursing, pounding of fists on his desk. He was red faced and obviously angry, but he calmly rooted through his tool bins until he came up with a hammer and nails. He proceded to the bathroom and pounded about 100 nails into the door an jamb. After he was finished he went home.

That bathroom remained like a coffin for at least two years until the gas company decided to demolish the building and put up a new one. I'm sure one of the demolition crew got an eye(and nose) full.

Would it's foulness have increased or faded away over such a long period of time. I must shit in a secure location and go back in two years for a sniff test.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!