What a Re-Flushing experience that must have been. It's amazing that a high class shitter could have such a double drastic malfunction. I bet your behind was never so clean after an atomic deposite as it was after the unwitting million flusher you had!

Great Story!!

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Poop Shooter!

So to summarize.... Fat lady blows mud and can't figure out how to work a toilet paper dispenser.

I think its fake anyway. How could you leave a casino as soon as you got there and drive home without saying a word about why you left, why you were wet, why you smelled like shit, etc.

Like King Midas, we all should be careful for what we ask. The sparkling toilet isn't all it's cracked up to be, is it?

The casino toilet in Red Wind has something I've only ever seen in hospital rooms, a hazmat container for hypos. It was full when I visited. It makes me wonder, is this because there are all these older people and diabetics who spend so much time in there that they need to bring their meds along? This casino, it's so desirous of keeping people in the building that they provide a place to put their needle empties. I don't know if it's some legality or just something they did on their own.

I wonder how many of those needles were meth needles. Kind of creepy.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Maybe she just stopped to shit because the bathrooms were so nice. ever think of that CEP?? I would rather stop in a fancy spot for a dump versus a crappy gas station.

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Poop Shooter!

Where did it say she was fat?

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Right here

"I hurried into the large stall and plopped my rather large ass down on one of the excellent commodes."

How do you "courtesy flush" an automatic toilet? This information would be very helpful.

that's horrible! i fucking hate those stupid automatic flushers. they always go off when i'm still sitting there (getting water on my booty, which i can't fucking stand), and then do nothing when i actually stand up, so i have to either move around until the so-called sensor detects me (or is it the absence of me?) and triggers the flush, or i have to find the button to flush it myself, thus defeating the very purpose of an automatic flusher. pisses me off.

daphne, as i believe i've mentioned before, i spend a lot of time (not so much now, as we're trying to save money) in a small gambling town about an hour away from here. i've noticed those hazmat containers not only in all the b-rooms in the casinos (at least, the ones we go to), but in the hotel rooms as well. my guess is the same as yours: there are just so many old people that go up there, they need a place to dispose of their insulin needles, or whatever. i don't know that it's because the casinos don't want people to leave, so much as it is a safety and, probably, liability issue. the old people are the ones who don't want to leave, that's why they bring their meds with them, and need a place to dispose of them.

CEP, do you know nothing about women? we all think our asses are fat! even when they're not. well, except for me. i have the opposite problem. besides, a person can have a large ass without being fat. ever heard of J. Lo?

shitty lawyer, as previously mentioned, there's usually a button on those things so you can flush the toilet when it refuses to do so itself.
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i love poop.

Not the most exciting story on PR, but I thought it was well-written, and dripping wet ass is just funny.

Tavon, you didn't address how it felt to not have been able to wipe as far as the poo? Had it been a really messy poo, thus leaving a sticky reside on your ass that you had to feel the whole way home? Or had it been a clean poo, so you didn't really feel anything afterwards? Were there skidmarks on your underpants resulting from this incident?

What I would have done was button up my pants with as much dignity as possible (ha!), get some paper towels from the main area of the bathroom (assuming there were any), go back into the stall, and wipe and dry.

You could have hollered for the attendant, I suppose, but that might have been too weird and embarrassing.

Yet another good first story! Dave, where do all these folks come from?

Everett, don't you think the very absence of some of the details you pointed out above is evidence that this story is true? My "fake" warning light goes on when I start seeing too many details, especially excessive exaggeration or embellishment. And, yeah, Ms. Tavon basically just "blew mud," but isn't that what the majority of stories on this site are about?

Speaking of blowing mud, I ate two hot dogs with chili and onions for lunch, and I need to go engage in a major act of water pollution. Now.

On the subject of the auto-flushers, I heard the Dept of Homeland Security has installed cameras and listening devices inside the electric eye on the auto flusher toilets and sinks and uninals. Anyone caught not wiping will probably be getting a call or visit soon.

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Poop Shooter!

I have little sympathy for the writer of this story. Since there was an attendant, the thing to do was to call out for some paper towels or toilet paper and clean up. It was the shamefulness of the writer that was responsible for this predicament.

If the cameras are there to catch people not wiping, then why are they on the sinks and urinals?
I can understand the sink cameras. Not washing your hands after going potty is nasty, but... the urinals?
Now, my knowledge of male peeing habits is based on my husband, because he's just about the only guy I've ever seen peeing in a bathroom setting (everyone's seen a guy peeing in the woods at least once, though, right?). When he's done, he shakes it and puts it away.

So... are the urinal cameras there to catch guys who don't shake?

i forgot to mention that i also wondered why she didn't just say to the people outside of the stall, "hey! this toilet's going crazy, and the TP is stuck! someone please hand me some!" unless the other ladies in there were like the chick on Seinfeld who couldn't "spare a square," i'm sure they'd help. i know i would have.
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i love poop.

Oddly I am reminded of a paper towel dispenser I deal with frequently. You put your hand under it and a mothin sensor tells the thing to roll out just enough paper to do the job. Perhaps the toilet paper thing was the same way, and your pulling prevented it from coming out properly. As far as the toilet itself, I really hate those automatic ones. Give me one with a Sloan valve and a handle on it any day!
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Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

Wonderpance, J. Lo.'s ass IS fat, no "butts" about it! It might be shapely to her frame but it's big, it's soft and bouncy, and hence, fat. she has a fat ass. When she puts more weight on, it will be even more fat than now, and then what?

It's a nice fat ass, but still fat and large, and it will sag one day, probably have a little "flap" on each of her thighs. Then to lose weight those flaps will be really saggy, and, uhh, well I guess I've stated my observation. Basicaly women's asses get big because they sit for so long on them, watching tv or whatever...

That's not totally true. If the butt spread isn't too bad and the woman is young, the skin will bounce back to the proper size.

Just like a guy's stomach when they loose beer gut. It bounces back.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

The cameras in the urinal are to catch guys shaking it more than twice.

Q: Why do men have to shake it after going pee?
A: Because the penis has never learned how to go(sniff)!

ok, joke better told out loud versus written.

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Poop Shooter!

I still laughed. Penis jokes usually make me chuckle.

I'd say the worst toilet I've personally experienced is the one in my own bathroom at home. Now that the college semester is over, I have to use a toilet that is NOT an elongated bowl and my bits have to sit there on the seat because I am so large. There is very little water in the bottom and nothing gets submerged, thus it stinks to high hell. After I'm done, it usually refuses to flush without a good thorough plunging. I hate it!

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Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

"[B]ecause I am so large...."

There IS something called Weight Watchers, DF.

Just sayin'.

Yes, I'll admit I'm fat. But I fit on a regular toilet just fine, or one bus seat, or one chair. And I can get into my car just fine (small sports car like a Tusmang which i hate are another story). I do need to drop some pounds and inches... 80 and 6 to be exact. Why the small waist reduction? It fits in 38" jeans--I just havr a huge ass and a huge belly that hangs over.

For those who wonder, I do have larger turds (hence "Double Flush"), but it's not from being fat. Fat people usually have normal sized poop. Another mystery solved!

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Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

(maybe merge this with the above post and remove one point) And just for reference, my car is a run-of-the-mill midsize sedan.

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Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

Well, since we're admitting everything today, I'm fat too. I need to lose 50 pounds and 2 inches. My ass isn't that big, I just have a beer keg on top of my six pack. (I doo situps holding 25 lbs on me) I have a Van though, for carrying large items. And 2 flushes are always neccesary. I fit into 1 coach class seat and have not (yet) broken any chair i sit in.

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"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

I fell through a lawn chair once... but it had sat outside for years and rotted. I'm still wary of lawn chairs ever since I managed to wiggle that one off of me.

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Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

About the hazmat containers: Those are a good idea just about anywhere. If you're insulin-dependent diabetic (and don't think only "old people" or fat people are diabetic, I've known children with diabetes and my very in-shape-looking father is as well) and you're out in public, you may need your insulin shot NOW. And going out to your car for that isn't necessary if the place you're visiting has one of these sharps containers - simply do it in the bathroom, and put the used needle away in the safe place provided. Sure, casinos put it there partly so you WON'T leave (convenience) but many restaurants, even office buildings, install them so their wokers and/or customers have a safe place to dispose of needles. And it makes customers feel less shameful, i.e. "Your disease is so taboo, you'll have to leave the establishment to take care of it" It's the same feeling anyone who isn't completely shameless on shitting feels when they go into those bathrooms with short stall doors, or none. For example, TGI Friday's, which often has swinging double saloon doors - tiny ones - on the stalls. What were they thinking?!

*sigh* I want to lose weight too. I haven't exactly bounced back to my pre-children weight.

A steady diet of children will put on the pounds, FP. Ask the Witch in Hansel and Gretel. Switch to adults. They're not quite as tasty, but a whole lot less fattening.

Who says adults aren't tasty? I regularly eat... oh, never mind.

Into protein, huh, GGG? You good girls always turn out to have a wild side. Hermione kept hers under control for some 40 years. It took Dumpster, mighty Dumpster, less than 4 months to get her to let go.

Well, sure. Good girls are good in all KINDS of ways. I have never understood why so many men don't get that. It's a matter of inverse return... or, something. I mean, the more a lady is treated like an Untouchable Goddess Queen, the more she desires to be the opposite for the person doing the worshipping. Does that make sense?

I think she broke the bowl as soon as she sat down... Not knowing she was under an accident waiting to happen

Sadly, yes.

Why sadly? I just gave you the key to getting all sorts of delights from your gal. Treat her like a princess, and she'll knight you, baby! ;)

Once a king, always a king; but once a night is enough? NOT!!

Touche.

Interesting how this went from a toilet story to an implicit representation of adult matters. Anyway, I've noticed the more I treat my girlfriend like a goddess, the more she wants to be a dirty little.... well you know. Wouldn't hurt to give it a shot. Besides, it's good to treat her well. Keep in mind, even if you don't have any kids: "Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." So keep her happy.

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Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

Strange, i'm usually a really nice guy, but it seems like the less i want to talk to a girl, the harder she holds on. Even after implicitly stating that things are over. This discovery suqsequently pissed mne off and has led me to consider trashing my nice guy routine. The hazmat thing may be another form of the americans with disabilities act. I'm not saying it's disabling, but it is a disease which can lead to special needs, and one of those is the need to have insulin when you need it, and the abilitiy to dispose of your sharps accordingly. I think it's refreshing that such an establishment would go the extra mile, more then a wheelchaiur ramp to try to make things easier for everyone.

Even though people think it's crazy, I see no problem providing ramps, rails, hazmat containers, etc. However, if they clear everyone out, gas the place, and call in a hazmat team, that's going too far. I've only seen it happen once though... spill of some sort in a hospital.

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Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

I saw hazmat containers in both Dulles and Dallas/Fort Worth airports.

Fridays crappers SUCK!. There is a Macaroni Grill 1/4 mile farther down the road from Fridays, and so I always go to MAc's. Great food on the cheap.

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"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

Aren't the haz-mat container for drug addicts' used needles? I thought that that's what they were for, so that, hopefully, people wouldn't throw needles in the trash and contaminate some unsuspecting janitor (or a patron who pushed a paper towel down in the can).

I haven't seen needle disposal units in the casino here....might have to look harder. Maybe it's for chicks to dispose of tampons or something.

By the way--pretty entertaining story, but as C. E. P. pointed out, it may not be true.
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My plans were foiled again, by those damn PooperFriends!

Real or fake, I know some of us can relate to that story. I hate automatic toilets and anything bathroom related that is automatic. I remember once when I was in the bathroom at the mall, I shit so much. It was so liquidy and really stinky and after I wiped several times it only flushed once. I kept waving my hand over the censor and moving to try to get the damn thing to flush. It was really rough.

CEP as usual I laughed at your response and I have to agree with what you said. I don't gamble but I know if I left a casino as soon as I got there my boyfriend would be asking why in the hell my pants were wet, why I smelled like shit, why I left and all that. Besides I would have told him anyway...but that's just me.

Farting strong since 1985...

You'd think they could put an override switch on those motion sensor flushers for people such as myself who need more than one.

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Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

There is an easy way to override the auto flush. One karate kick to the little red eye does the trick. A couple of chops on the toilet paper dispenser and you have your hands on the whole roll. And now you know why I'm never allowed in public bathrooms anymore.

CEP, Tom Cruise says his closet is way too crowded and you have to leave.

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Broccoli!

TSV, just remember there is a camera inside them red electric eyes and they'll know you did it!!

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Poop Shooter!

Camera, eh? I thought it was just a simple motion sensors. Now I'm gonna be scared to use the toilets at the mall cause of fear that someone is catching a peek at my bits. I'd much rather have a good ol' Sloan flusher!

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Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

I finally got around to following the links to the Sloan Flusher. Whoa! Cool! Did someone say you can get those in your house?!? We're looking into replacing the toiletten in our house (rebate!); I wonder if we could get Sloans.

Not that we're selling, but we always think "resale value", so if you went into an Open House and saw that kind of toilet, would that turn you off?

GGG, I don't think most plumbing codes allow for Sloan valves in residences. Or you may have to get a variance, based on a special need.

The secret is--learn to do the plumbing yourself, and install your own Sloan valve. It is far easier to ask forgiveness than to ask permission!

If at all possible, I want a Sloan toilet in my house. They are my favorite kind of toilet!

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Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

So rent a room in your local Motel 6! They all have Sloan valves, and I'm sure Mr. Patel (the owner) will make you a nice weekly rate.

*Sigh*. I guess I'll have to live with the traditional type toilet. The hubby is a thinker, not a DIY'er. I'd have to do it, and I'm not sure I'm up to replacing commodes. Ah, well. It was a nice dream while it lasted. :)

I've picked up the toilet in my bathroom, carried it around the room, and stuff like that. It's not such a big deal as long as it is clean.

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Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

Why on earth would you carry around a toilet?

Slow night? Couldn't find a dance partner? Or perhap it was one of those toilet baby assignments in health class?

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Broccoli!

Jeez. I only had to carry an egg around for that class (her name was Kindra). A toilet is more realistic, though, when you consider the baby AND the carrier AND the loaded diaper bag. Commode-weight would be about right, I'm thinking!

Mine was a flour baby assignment. I didn't do it, of course, because it was probably the stupidest thing I had been assigned since my first grade teacher tried to order me to tell my "mommy" about "poor little C". Both assignments ended in teacher humiliation, but only because said teacher copped an attitude about the assignment after I questioned it's ligitimacy.

No, actually, I didn't question the ligitimacy of the flour baby assignment. The teacher came over to me and said that she wanted me, in particular, to do this assignment, in that condescending way that Oregon teachers always got with me. When I said I wouldn't do it, she tried every intimidating crap trick in the book. (Which of course wasted even more of our valuable class time.) She was sure she had won and my spirit was properly broken.

So the weekend passed and health class came back into session on Monday. All the kids sat, perfectly humiliated, with their little sacks of flour on the desk. My desk was empty. When I was asked why my assignment wasn't turned in, I said, "I'm a canibal. Want some cake?"

Hmmm. Now that I think about it, never did show up for that detention, either.

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Broccoli!

LOL @ you girls. I had to move the toilet around while some other boys and I were replacing the rotten floor I fell through. It was like that from the roof leaking and not being properly fixed. I'd say damn this old house, but it's already pretty cursed.

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Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

Hey everyone,
Thanks for all the comments on my story. This is really a fun site, and I'm glad I came upon it.

Thanks Tavon

"I'm glad I came upon it." Dang; that's exactly what Hermione said last night!

Damn it, Dumpster! Now I have to clean the screen again.

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Santa Caca!

Scatophobia strikes again! I hate these automatic flushing toilets! Not only can one not see their creation, it is medically advised to at least see your poop! This relects this lingering puritanical mentality of America!

Automatic flushing toilets! Welcome to puritanical America! Biggest case of coprophobia, these toilet designers. Not only can one not see their own creations, it is medically unhealthy as not to see ones excrement.

The damn Sloan at work caPOOSHed so violently it splashed me in the eye! And it was in the handicrapper; someone sitting at wheelchair level would have been doused!
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Santa Caca!

Welcome to PoopReport, tavon. We hope you have a great time here. You are more than welcome to join in all you want; we're all just a big bunch of friends who all shit. Oh, and don't forget to send all your money to Bilgepump.

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Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

I would think a 26.5 MPH spin would get a peek at the doo doo before Mr.Sloan sucked it into his belly. you do need to spin and look quick at the auto-flushers.

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Poop Shooter!

I once had a toilet that made you hold the lever dow for 4 sec. or it would overflow.
Poop on!

-Poopgirl

This is the stuff of nightmares. You should sue the casino.

That was one of those 1/2 toilet, 1/2 bidets. Only the most elite places have them.
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Jammin' lo'flo's since 1977.