The snickering shits...sounds like too much fun for me. And in regard to the tampon string issue, I thank God for that Y chromosome. I ain't man enough to be a woman.

The shit on the tampon string got my attention. Rather than being worried about a "whiff of shit" about you, the concern should have been about the possibitity of contracting a bacterial infection from fecal matter being in such close proximity to the urethra.

Since the vagina and urethral openings are so close to the rectum in females, alot of cases of yeast infection, cystitis and other bacteria induced inflictions can be avoided by proper hygeine practices, including wiping fecal matter AWAY from the vagina, and by replacing shit-soiled tampons immediately.

I would rather walk around with a big wad of TP in my pants until I could obtain a fresh tampon than to risk getting a nasty, itchy infection that could have been avoided...but that's just me.
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Always looking out for number two!

You need to use the KISS method for your dumping (keep it simple stupid). If you just took the toitet liner, used it, pushed and shit, none of this story would have taken place. But because you did not, and entertaining poop story emerged and I now know you can get shit on a tampon string.

Yeah.... I agree with Motherload about the tampon string thing. I would have gotten that outta there and just improvised. After this ordeal have you become less Shameful? More Shameful?

_______
Brown tidings I bring
to you
from my ring

You should have just used Tinkerbell's fairy dust to hover over the toilet. Duh!

Madam, you are a basket case. I can not believe you keep repeating this obnoxious ritual of clogging the toilet. Get a grip on yourself. There are other poopers in the world.
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Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

Mom-Lo is right! And here's another thing, boys. Sometimes the action that's moving the poop dislodges the tampon to an uncomfortable angle. How does THAT grab you? =P

So it's better to remove the tampon before pooping. I can't believe Bob Iger wouldn't have some hygiene products available for Cast Members.

Holy crap woman, you need to go back and take the Pooping 101 course. How the fudge did you get a job at D-World being as stupid as you are? First, flush mutiple times you f-ing moron. Damn, what is with you people that think you ONLY flush once you are ready to leave? Flipping flush the shitter when the first log comes out. And if you need to use the whole roll of TP, flush after every 4 wipes. Then the rest of the people who have to use the bathroom after you won't have to wear frickn boots to climb through your shit. Second, if toilet liners are available - then use em! Place the liner on the seat and then sit down. How the heck are you using them that you need to squat? Anyway, I could go on and on about how retarded you are...but I think you get the point.

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Corporal Corn Kernal

This is an interesting story. After the poop on the tampon string comment, I think I'll have to become a monk.

Does anybody get the feeling this story sounds like one of those stories translated from Japanese into English by someone who is not a native speaker of English?

Also it sounds like Pooptastic could actually be pooptarded. Miss P., Its clear you can't handle the rosponsibility of defecating. In order to avoid this you should either quit eating altogether or wear a diaper to work.

What the-- Pooptarded is the most appropriate description ever for this poor soul. Dear Pooptastic, clogging the toilet is very-nearly-always preventable. I'd always thought women grasped this concept better than men, but you have singlehandedly destroyed my hope. Thanks for nothing. A courtesy flush, please.

Yes, I am a big courtesy-flushers if I think there will be "mass cleanup" so as not to clog the john.

Pooptastic, you seem to have a major deal of stress associated with public pooping. I can only tell you what my mom used to tell me when I was a teenager and thought my hair looked stupid and therefore didn't want to go out with the family. She'd look at me and say, "You're most likely the only person who is so worried about it. I bet no one else notices." And she was right just about every time. You should take this approach to taking a public dump. You're probably more aware of it than the others around you. Relax!

You might make yourself feel better by carrying a "poop kit" at work. Find a small spray car freshener, an extra tampon, and a travelling pack of moist wipes, and put them into a little pouch you can carry around with you, like one of those super small fanny packs or waist band things.

It may seem weird, but if it makes you feel better, then who gives a shit? We should be here to help our fellow poopers, not tell them how nuts they are, even if they do have a pecan or two banging around the old cranium.

Good luck.

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

im not a shameful shitter but i think i may start carring a poop kit! it sounds like fun!

I am 16 and a junior in high school. On three occasions (swear to God--this couldn't just happen to anybody) during the last school year, our school's fire alarm was activated--and each time I was on the stool for my usual 3B hour poop (toward the end of the lunch hour). On the first occasion I had just sat down, pulled up my dress and pulled down my panties and my stool was slowly coming when the alarm went off. A geometry teacher came in and shouted and knocked on the doors for us to vacate. The nearly 15 minutes we spent in the parking lot was hard and I was afraid I would explode my anus. Two fire trucks came because there was a small fire in a kitchen fryer. I couldn't help by holding it in until the all-clear was given and I raced back to the bathroom, crashed onto the same stall (the first--generally I've found them to be cleaner) and just as I was passing one very very large poop (I hadn't gone for three days!) it was obvious there was something very moise under me. I stood up and noticed that even the back portionof the dress I was wearing for a job interview, was moist and more. Someone had peed over much of the seat. For several days, I suspected that our geometry teacher was the culprit. She must have straddled the seat and had a very poor aim for somebody in her mid-20s. On the other two occasions, I was lingering a bit after having completed my stool, so I quickly wiped but didn't get a chance to wash my hands before evacuating. Today, I was in journalism class when the alarm was tripped but stopped by to pee on my way back in. I wiped the seat off first, however, remembering what happened just last year!

pooptastic sounds like an unwitting turd terrorist - with issues.
_______
"Uugggghh...nnnrrrrAAaaaaarrrgg...*splash*...aaaahh."

There is a commercially available tampon string cleaner for those sloppy shit gals out there in apparently large numbers.

_______
Believe in the joy of shitting!

Oh sweetie, just wipe the seat off and that part of the toilet that the seat doesn't cover. Then go about your business. If in doubt lay one layer of tp down. When you gota go you gota do it then and NOW, which gives great pleasure and relief. Cleaning yourself off completely many times is enough to clog some toilets. It is unnecessary to clog it before you even get to go.

OK ladies, you occasionally have a small problem with turd on the tampon string. Big deal!

Imagine the problem us guys with good sets of swinging balls have after a night on the beer. Yep, nutsacks coated in shit like they`d been hung in a car spray shop painting tan Fords.

Yeah, but I still think poop germs clamoring up into a gal's cha-cha and burrowing deep into her visceral tissues is somewhat grosser.

Mmmm.....girls` cha-cha`s...

.....its' what's for dinner?

You guys, if your balls cramped, ached, and bled for 5 days out of the month, you'd hate them even worse!!!!

At least using some moist wipes after a shit gets rid of your "night after" beer troubles in between showers. Not that I don't sympathize. I can't imagine what it would be like to have a sack by my butt that always had the equivalent of 2 small plums boinging around down there. That's alot to adjust. I'd probably get to the point where I'd make a scrotum bra or something.
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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

The scrotum bra sounds like a good idea. A guy's stuff does get in the way at times, and it's just kinda swinging there. It seems if ever there's a mess around there, it's the first victim.

GGG, you're right. Germs + cha-cha = asking for trouble. You have to be careful about that.

Back to the main topic: I would wipe off the seat the best I could if there was anything visible on it, lay down an ass gasket if they have them, and do my business. I can always take a shower anyway. Besides, unless left to fester, public toilets aren't all as dirty as people think they are. Sure, you don't know who's ass was on it last (good reason for the gasket), but chances are it's not the festering mess it's made out to be.

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Damnit, someone stole my signature!

The tampon bit just about killed me. Motherload is very much correct. If the string has shit on it, take it off! You run the risk of getting an infection. In fact, you should change it everytime you go to the bathroom. Getting pee on the string is just as bad because the string wicks the urine up to the cotton part of the tampon.
Worry less about people smelling your poo and worry more about getting said poo up your hoo hoo.

Er... that is, worry more about NOT getting said poo up your hoo hoo.
Darn me and my lazy, non-previewing ways.

Hey Daphne, check this out: http://www.zippyvideos.com/9957192962119686/nutts/
_______
Always looking out for number two!

Two new terms for a womans privates I've learned today, the cha cha and now the hoo hoo, thank you ladies. My ex used to call it a woofer and I always laughed at that, these are much nicer terms.

Bunga, I'm surprised you didn't know hoo hoo. That's one of the basics. Woofer is... well, that's just weird, if you don't mind my saying.

No problems at all F Poopie. By the way, this woman in the story is certainly a catch, hopefully by men dressed in white carrying big nets.

Hey! One of my friends back in high school always said "woofer" and "tweeter". But she used "tweeter" to mean her hoo-hoo. I guess she was using "woofer" for her butt.

Stop worrying about the toilet seat. The toilet seat is probably one of the cleanest things in a bathroom, because the human ass is not very dirty. Seriously, there have been numerous tests done on this that show hands and face are much dirtier than ass. Just google it if you don't believe me.

It's true, and if the toilet seat really were that dirty, even 8 layers of tissue paper wouldn't keep the germies off your derriere.

Pooptastic, there are a couple things you should've done to avoid this situation. First, it doesn't matter if it's a public bathroom, when you gotta go you gotta go. There is nothing wrong with sitting on tp or liners. The same germs on the toilet are in your kitchen, bedroom, living room, etc. I think your main problem is that you're too anxious, and believe me, anxious poopers get nowhere in life.

Second, when that other person came into the bathroom all you had to do was wait 20 seconds after they left to come out. That would've probably prevented the whole escapade with the tampon string. I've had to wait once or twice and never gotten caught. (Note: you can't do this in high-traffic stores, just generally low-traffic bathrooms at slow hours.) Another thing you should've done was one or two courtesy flushes. Remember, it doesn't matter how many times you flush if you do the waiting thing. Honestly, it still eludes me how people can use THAT much tp to clog a shitter unless they have liquid exploding from that end. That's only happened to me with big logs. But hey, I guess everyone's different...? Anyways, courtesy flushes are ALWAYS the way to go. And I never go ANYWHERE without a spare tampon when it's that time. I just carry a purse, or in my case a diaper bag since I got a kid. Anywho, there's your Shit 101 for ya.

I can sympathize with Caryl Marie,the high schooler who got caught with her "pants down" during a school fire drill. I was home-schooled until the 9th grade, which means I didn't have the experience the others had in using the large and crowded school restrooms. I was attending a school with more than 2,500 students on the east coast. The problem was finding time to have my daily BM and P between classes since we only had a five minute passing period between classes. The teachers didn't encourage using the toilet during class time because of problems with smoking and vandalism. More times than not, I would wait for a stall to come open, I would have my jeans or skirt partially unbuttoned and I would make a mad dash in to do my elimination in the minute or two that would be remaining. Often, I had to suspend my BM or P while it was in progress because I needed to wipe, get myself presentable, grab backpack from the rack and make the 30-second dash upstairs to my accounting class. I can still remember my embarrassment when I occasionaly found the toilet paper was out and I was going to have to do without. Once, I used a copy of a sheet of newspaper which was next to my toilet for wiping. Of course, I didn't have time to find it it would flush. Also, I remember telling a friend at my Class of '87 reunion about my experiences, and she could relate to them too. On two occasions she sat down so fast that she sat in the previous user's ashes and received a skin burn. Today, I'm a professional person working in a large office building and I cherish having a little more time to use the bathroom. My two daughters, 11 & 13 go to private schools but complain about urine on the seats and the mean teachers who sometimes use scarcasm when students ask to go to the bathroom on class time. I doubt anything will change!

I have to agree with the experiences of Vincene and Caryl Marie. Although I'm a freshman in college now, four years ago I didn't have the confidence I needed as a student in a large city high school. It didn't help my confidence when on the Sunday before school began, I was at a concert at our city's auditorium and before the first group was done I had to take a crap. I stood in line for at least 20 minutes only to get a stool with a wet seat and the lady before me that did not flush. There was only one of two pieces of toilet paper on the floor and the roll was bare. I tried to place myself on the side of the seat that wasn't as wet and my BM was coming so fast that my panties bearly cleared before I unloaded. I leaned to the left to flush while I was still seated--a BIG mistake because I found the stool was clogged up and the water was fast rising as I jumped up and tried to quickly pull up my pants. My sandles got waterlogged pretty bad but I avoided getting the dirty water on my butt. I ended up going down to the next concourse to find another bathroom, wait for another stall to open and then luckily there was toilet paper available for me to wipe with and clean myself up. The next day I started high school and remember being in a stall first hour peeing and hearing two older girls in adjacent stalls complaining about the school not having any paper seat protectors and that they had to sit on the bare toilet seat. Such whiners!

That's why whenever I must take a dump while on the rag, I tuck the string up front before I release any poop.

I'm a freshman in high school. I can relate to a lot of what Vincene experienced but my first experience was at age 10 in middle school. I had never had to use a bathroom that large alone, without my mother taking me in with her. If we were at a place like a department store or a fast-food place, Mom would let me go in alone. However, when we were at an amusement park, the courthouse (she worked for an attorney and often would take me to deliver papers)or at our city auditorium, she would insist on taking me in, selecting the stall, lining the seat for me, and reminding me not to tough anything. Often, I would have a friend with me and she would just go in and do her thing without of what one friend called "the ceremony". I was the only one in my group of friends who was "babied". None of them was afraid of catching anything from the toilets, but my Mom would tell me when I complained that their parents had forgotten to teach them proper hygiene. So far this year at school I'm still taking time to line the seat before sitting down at least twice a day and I've accumulated four class tardies because of the extra time it takes. When the seats are wet, some of the girls pee standing up, but for my bowel movement I find that it's too uncomfortable unless I sit down. Like, Vincene, I need to learn to go faster but I just can't seem to master it.

I've just come across the site by accident. It's really interesting. I'm a 17 year old male going to a large urban high school and I need to take a shit at least three times a week at mid-morning. Maybe Caryl Marie, Vincene and Amber Lynn are just whiners because it isn't any easier for us guys. First, there are 10 stalls in most of our bathrooms BUT NO DOORS ON THEM. We have to choose a stall and sit right out in the open with boys lined at at the urinals. Luckily, their backs are to us. A few of the guys put toilet paper over the front of the seat, but many don't. Last year they were teasing a very young looking freshman boy because he was taking too long in trying to get the paper to stay on the seat and the line during lunch period was getting too long. Last week while shitting I went to point my penis down into the bowl and it scraped over the front of the bowl--with a large amount of urine droppings on it. I leaned back to flush my rather large contribution and my hand was wet. No it wasn't just condensation. There was urine on both the flusher and back wall. Some boys don't want to show their generally smaller organs off at the urinals so they use the toilet stalls. WHY DON'T THEY SIT DOWN BECAUSE IT WOULD MAKE A LOT MORE SENSE THAN PEEING ON THE SEATS AND FLUSHER? By keeping their underware up over the front of the seat they could prevent exposing their privates. Also, I've come up on stalls that had rather elaborate linings of several layers of toilet paper--each of them probably at the expense of ten guys who need to wipe. My girlfriend said she's grown use to the condition of the bathrooms. She just wipes the seat off to make sure she isn't sitting in urine. I've rejected using stalls with considerable urine on the seats only to note that within a couple of minutes some guy comes in and plops himself down on it. THAT GROSSES ME OUT but I don't understand why so many guys have such poor--actually piss poor (bad pun) hygiene. My girlfriend says she knows of girls who find the situation in the toilets so offensive they don't drink liquids during the day and are able to "hold it" until they get home. If everybody--both genders--were to be more responsible I doubt there would be a problem. I just wanted to give a male opinion. Guys have to go too!

Who are you, 2nd Hour Shitter, to call Caryl Marie, Amber Lynn and Vincene whiners! Many of us had to--or in my case now since I'm in college--have to use bathrooms away from home FOUR or FIVE times a day, not just once, as you admitted was your case. I'm a junior on a campus of 24,000 students and there are often long lines for the toilets during the 15 minutes or so immediately before and after classes. Just take today for example. I caught the city transit bus from my apartment and had to make two transfers. At 7 a.m. while waiting for my connector bus to come, I had to take a shit. Not too many options available that early in the a.m. on a downtown bus bench. After 15 minutes my bus came and during my 15 minute trip to my second connector, I was starting to sweat and felt I was going to explode. I quickly departed and literally ran with my bookbag and purse two blocks down the street to where the homeless frequent our Central Park Mall because I knew there was a bathroom there. It was diiingy, only subdue light and two very open toilets without even any partitions. BOTH WERE IN USE. One elderly woman was reading the times as she waited to do her thing; the other occupant was a middle-aged woman who was on the stool peeing while she ransaked the trash can she had moved up to her toilet. I said I had an emergency and the old lady grumbled about being constipated, but did get up and sat on the ledge outside to read her paper. The fastest-coming shit I can remember barely cleared by jeans and panties as I threw myself on the toilet that was both chilly and wet. I only needed about 30 seconds to evacuate my bowels but I looked to my right and there was none; to my right the pee-er also found she had a paperless dispenser. I pulled up my pants and jeans and made a run back to the bus stop. I had missed my transfer bus and now had to wait another 30 minutes for the next one. I was guaranteed to be late for my class and first sociology exam. Once I got to campus I went into the student union where again I had to wait for one of five stalls. I peed and when I went to wipe and clean myself from the earlier incident, you guessed it--all the toilet paper was off the roll. Luckily, the girl in the stall to my right had some and she handed it to me. I was 30 minutes late to my exam, but my prof was cool about me starting late and he let me finish it in his office. Two other times on campus today I had to pee and each time there was a five to ten minute line. So, 2nd Hour Shitter, do you really want to call me and fellow representatives of my gender whiners?

2nd Hour shitter--you have a five hour advantage on me. Most every day my dump comes at about 2p.m. and I hold it until after school because my world history teacher says going to the bathroom will not help me master ancient Rome and some to the other topics we're studying. 2nd Hour shitter doesn't recognize that many of the stools are clogged and definitely waterlogged by then. Today, I snuck out of the library and went to a different and much larger restroom than normal. Although there were no doors on any of the six or seven stalls, I went to the far end one, dropped the seat (and got pee on my hand)and wiped the wretched black seat off before sitting down. The floor was so wet that my left foot slipped a little as I tried to position myself more comfortably on the loose seat. That activated the sensor and I quickly got sprayed from the flusher. I was pushing to begin my dump when I heard someone enter and quickly sit down on the middle toilet. There was a steady padder of pee that could easily be heard for a couple of minutes, then I heard the flush and the person leave without washing his hands. While at the sink, I looked up and found the planner of our principal--his name was engraved on it. I'm glad I waited until the coast was clear because I didn't have a hall pass and he would have most certainly given me a DT--written with a pen and his unwashed hands.

2nd Hour shitter brings up some good point. If there's four or five stalls in the bathrooms at my medium-sized high school, three or four of them are usually dripping wet when I sit down to take my shit. Some guys--including my best friend--sit down to pee because the urinals are so crowded and the older boys make gross and cruel remarks in harassing the freshmen and, on occasion, 8th graders who have been moved up a year as part of our IB global studies program. Jacob got teased last year because he's so short and inexperienced--he would open the belt and waist of his jeans at the urinal and he would have to stand on his toes so that his penis could reach the urinal bowl and only then could he begin to try and piss This year he's sitting down in the stalls and is being called gay. Guys will shake the door and peek in on him and taunt him while he's don the stool. The girls, who have much cleaner bathrooms and less of the bullying, don't know how good they have it. They are whiners!

I learned about PoopReport.com when I walked in on my brother who is a senior in high school and he had it on. As a freshman, I've tried to get it on our school's computer, but it's blocked as "tasteless".
Some of the experiences being written about I've had, although my situation is a little different. Take Caryl Marie, who was interrupted while taking a crap at school by a fire alarm. A month ago I had just sat down to pee when our buzzer went off and our principal announced a TAD lockdown--that's a drill that says their is some type of gunman or intruder in the building. Essentially, everybody freezes where they are and remains quiet. In a classroom, that would mean turn off the lights and the teacher would lock the classroom door from outside so a sicko couldn't get in. Here I was on the stool and I had to remain sitting and not make any noise. After about 10 minutes I wasn't that comfortable so I shifted by weight a little and tried to reposition myself on the seat. Mistake! The sensor set the flusher off and I got splashed big-time by the really mean water. Some of the water hit my pubic area so I reached for some toilet paper and, of course, the roll was empty. I noticed some toilet paper on the floor of an adjacent stall and as I sent my left foot under the partition to drag it, my butt across the seat set off the flusher again. Another shower! This one made a wet imprint on the back of my blouse. I started to cry a little and sat as still as I could for another 20 or 25 minutes until our principal came on the PA and announced it was only a drill and a successful one at that! Had their been a madman in the building, the noise from the flusher would have singled me out for sure death! That night, I told my brother what had happened and he thought it was hilarious.
A few days later he wasn't by my locker after school to give me a ride home. He had to go home more than an hour early. He had sat down to take a crap, and unlike our parents have taught us, he didn't wipe off the seat. He sat in what my parents think was some combination of Vaseline and black shoe polish in a stall that had very poor lighting. It was a prank that has been done before during homecoming week.
Why are all our toilet seats black? I would think colorful seats would brighten things up and make it easier to guard against pranks.

That's a good story! Thanks for sharing that. I don't think we've had a lockdown story, before.

Caryl Marie, who stopped shitting during a school fire drill, made a crucial mistake. NEVER, EVER stop shitting or peeing no matter what the interruption might be. I made this mistake last year at my school but I won't make it again! I had just sit down to shit, and my relief was just about to begin to come out when a freshman frantically started beating on my stall door saying she had an emergency. Feeling sorry for her and being on a hall pass issued by my teacher, I did suspend my shit, pull up my panties and jeans, and let her in. While I waited outside,I heard her hit the stool with such a ferocity, followed by a very heavy and long noise of peeing. She thanked me nicely as she exited and I sat down to resume my shit. As one large, large peice was coming out, I thought I could make it easier by spreading my legs more and moving up closer to the front. BIG MISTAKE! The seat had come loose and I fell sideways into the toilet. While I didn't get hurt, my butt got pretty wet and I was able to move my bowels by sitting on the toilet's rim. The moral, as I see it, is to NEVER, NEVER give up your toilet stall to anyone. NEVER, EVER!

Although I wasn't home-schooled or as niave as Vincene, I too remember "accidents" I had in the bathrooms. In one case, I was talked with my girlfriend right behind me in line, the stall opened, and I sat down on the bowl. I WONDER WHY I STILL HATE THE HOVER PISSERS THIS MANY YEARS AFTER GRADUATION? Another time, after standing up to wipe after taking a shit, I couldn't get the toilet paper on the dispenser to budge. So I got pissed, yanked at it and the roll came out of its socket and bounced into the toilet. Fine situation to be in! That May, during the last week of school, I had even a worse experience. Five of us girls went in for a shit before school and ended up sitting in a combination of ink and rubber cement which was part of a senior prank. Our counselsor excused us for a couple of periods while we went home and cleaned ourselves up. Since that time, I've become more selective about the toilets I'll use, and if necessary, I wipe the seat off before I make contact with it. So in retrospect, Vincene, you got off easy!

Right on! Marissa, I agree with you wholeheartedly. When I was about 13, I must hae stood in a line for 20 minutes at our city auditorium during a circus intermission. Just as I was about to enter the stall a mother with a crying girl (about five years old) right behind me in line, begged to have her daughter go ahead of me because she was in so much pain. I gave in. I was surprised that the mother didn't go in to help the girl, but rather she continued to stand behind me. The girl had trouble getting up on the big seat and peed not only over the front of the toilet, but also tried sitting sideways on the seat and missed getting her shit into the bowl. She came out thinking she had really accomplished something, but as soon as I saw the condition of the toilet, I stopped in mid-air from sitting down and promptly exited, telling the mother it was her turn now! She thanked me and I'm sure she remained very gracious until she opened the door. By that time I was on the ramp going downstairs where I had my shit under better circumstances.

Don't allow yourself to be jaded, AC, by what you experienced. I believe it was a very extreme case of parental neglect. My daughter is 7 and I would NEVER allow her to use a stall without me first inspecting it and knowing if she's going #l or #2. My daughter's small for her age and just barely 7 and she has had occasional trouble sitting up on large public toilets--especially in large places like arenas. I always line the seat with paper for her first and remind her to flush with her left foot. Once, about three or four years ago my husband described letting her sit over the side of the seat and hand onto the toilet paper dispenser and I was FURIOUS that her mid-section would potentially come into direct contact with a dirty public seat. Too many parents abdicate their responsibilities in the proper rearing of children and what you described, AC, is the result!

The stories about peeing and shitting away from home are marginally interesting to read. Of all the incidents, however, BY FAR I feel for Kellie.

Like her I live in a large city. At age 25, I'm still in college (changed majors three times, ran out of $ twice, can't make up my mind what I want to end up doing with my life). Like Kellie, I believe public transportation is not always compatible with one's "schedule".

When I've had a late afternoon class, I've been on bus rides that take 45 minutes to go five our six miles through rush hour traffic. I do always sit down and pee before leaving my classroom building, but I know that coffee I drink in the morning and the Dr. Pepper in the afternoon will help what a former boyfriend called the "fast-charging dump".

My mind really roams with many "alternatives" when I've stuck on the bus and need to take my shit. My apartment is a couple of miles from downtown and I have to transfer twice from one bus to another each day. When the buses run on schedule, the transfer wait is only 10 to 15 minutes. At each transfer point, I have a couple of places I can duck into for my dump. The best is a Kwik Shop, but the single stall is usually pretty dirty and since its a unisex restroom, there's often pee over the seat. Once the seat was up, I was desparate and I used most of my hand to lower it--big mistake, there was as much liquid on my hand as when I wash it!

My second choice takes a two block walk and that's our city auditorium and convention center. One large bathroom is open for those who are in the building to purchase tickets, set up for trade shows, etc. I especially like this option because it is well lite and I can select a toilet that has a dry seat and at least some toilet paper on the roller.

Each time I read Kellie's posting I'm convinced for at least a few minutes that I don't have it as bad as she did. If I had been forced to use the open toilets in the park like she did with the filth and homeless next to her, I would think I would be seeking psycho-therapy.

Public transportation is cheap. It doesn't, however, make it easy to meet the needs of your bodily functions.

Bus Rider, you've given us an interesting story; one which unfortunately I can relate to. At least for the time being, I have a dead-end job doing data-entry work for largely minimum wage. At 25, with an apartment to maintain and no college, I can't afford a car. Therefore, I have to take public transportation to and from work at a large office building with more than 2,000 workers.

Although I pee before leaving home, my morning coffee does basically right through my system and within an hour I usually have to pee and bad! The stop and go motion of the CTA bus doesn't help and when I think about making it to my stop and making it to my 23rd story office restroom cluster, the probability seems rather dismal. More than once I've been in a situation where I couldn't wait and I've gotten off the bus before my stop and found a storefront Burger King or McDonalds at which to relieve myself. Once, on my way home I had to take a shit, there was a three-alarm fire tying up traffic that was at a standstill, so I got off the bus and made a fast trot a block away to city hall where I released one of the largest shits of my career. However, when I went to wipe, there was no toilet paper and it took me waiting for openings in seven of about 18 other stalls in the ladies room to find enough toilet paper and a place where I could sit down and clean myself. Then I had to walk past the fire and down a few blocks to catch another bus running on the same line. No sooner had I paid my fare and taken a seat when I started to feel the need to pee. The trip back home was one of anticipation and I mapped out in my mind exactly what options I had at my stop, since I didn't think I could make the two-block walk to my apartment building.

There was a deli, a bar, a Shell station and a package liquor store. First, there was a long line at the deli--school students on a field trip and a busload of them at that had stopped--so I went to the bar. Damn! the ladies room was occupied and there were two happy hour participants waiting in line. I walked across the street to the gas station, asked for the key, and was told the ladies room toilet was broken. I asked for the mens room key and hurried in. The stool was gross with a lot of stain and someone--probably this grotesquely fat attendant had peed over the seat but if I lingered to wipe it (and there was only one piece of toilet paper left) there would have been a much larger flood. So I reluctantly sat down and completed a very satisfying pee.

I could still feel the pee on my thighs as I walked home. My first stop was directly to the bathroom where I took a lingering shower to compensate for the public toilets I had been forced to sit on due to my dependence on public transportation.

Somehow I knew that I would probably have to repeat the process several times!

Great story. I was once a shameful shitter, so I can imagine what you were going through.

Everyones poop stinks when it is left out in the air, I don't think that anyone would have teased you over that.

As for the poop on the tampon string, you might want to keep an extra tampon or two in your purse. A soiled tampon can cause serious health problems.
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Watch out for the deadly F4, though he's been gone since '53, he will be back.

My ex always used to take her tampon out when she had to shit.

A couple of years ago, Hermione and I got rather carried away and Did the Dark Deed without either one of us remembering that she had a tampon in. I actually pushed it up into her womb, and we had to go to the emergency room to get it removed. I'll bet the ER folks are still laughing about that one!

My wife and I have been married just two years so our finances leave a lot to be desired; she still is in college so we share one car and that often means she takes the city bus to and from her college classes. For the most part, the buses run on schedule and at $1 a trip, it's very economical transportation.

Yesterday, however, her poly sci study group ran overtime, and whereas she would usually pee at the student center before going to the busstop, she literally had to run to catch the bus at the last minute just as it was leaving. The problem was that about five minutes into a short 20-minute trip, the bus was rear-ended in traffic. Although there were no injuries, it took about 15 minutes for the police to get there for their report, plus another 40 minutes for another bus to delivered to the scene. All the while, she's stranded on the Interstate needing to pee badly. Another woman on the bus, who also had a toddler with her, was in the same situation. The police officer on the scene offered to call another squad car to take the two women to a bathroom but felt the dispatch time would be at least 15 minutes since it was rush hour. What they ended up doing was taking both Shari and the other lady and her child to the back of the bus, they put a waste basket on the seat and allowed the ladies to sit on it and go while holding onto the bars atop the seat immediately to the front. Shari went first but it took her a few minutes to get the flow going. Luckily, she was wearing a dress which helped her make the task a little more discrete. The other lady, who was in shorts, asked Shari to take her child a few seats forward in the bus as she did her thing.

Although Shari was more than two hours late in getting back to our apartment, she said she learned a valuable lesson. Never hold a pee or poop because you're just a few minutes from home. You can never tell what will happen, especially with intoxicated drivers following a bus too closely.

There is so much to read on PoopReport; it's a great site. I was especially interested in the postings of Caryl Marie (taking a dump at school three times in one year when the fire alarm goes off) and Sharrine who must have been petrified sitting down peeing when an intruder alert was called by her principal.

The worst moment for me in my entire educational career came in 1956 when I was in third grade. Our school was three stories and as a result of President Eisenhower, the Cold War and the fact that we lived near a major military base (I never knew how Mom and & Dad could have made such a bad choice for our home), we started to have frequent Civil Defense Drills. Because our school was about 100 years old, the designated area we would evacuate to was in the basement where there were supply rooms for the custodians, textbooks, and lots of other stuff that was gated and locked off, but nevertheless mysterious to an eight year old. There was also a large assembly area that was made of concrete, painted with slick, white (actually almost gray paint) and some very dingy lamps hanging from the ceiling.

I think we had about 250 to 300 students in the school and, if my memory serves me correctly, each teacher was given a designated place for his/her class to assemble at. The exact spot and procedures were drilled into us, almost to the point where we were petrified that we would let the President down and have to surrender to the Commies if we got out of place, were involved in shoving, or a similar major felony. We were forced to sit quietly for five minutes or so until the administration allowed us to leave.

About half way through that year, because our school gained students (or may be it was that on the given day not enough students were home sick), two classes were assigned to a set of restrooms that were down a hallway that most students never used or didn't know about. There was a wall separating the girls room from the boys, very dim lighting, and gain a very typical concrete floor that had been slickened by several coats of paint. My career is in structural engineering and, when I revisited the school during one reunion, I got to thinking that might have been required by the federal government. All the boys bathrooms in the school were open stall, something that I hated because my daily shit came at about 9 each morning and I wanted privacy. Therefore I started going against the rules and using the downstairs bathroom. I was almost always the only occupant, and although the seats were cold due to the lessened heat down there, I had my privacy.

That was, however, until one Monday morning when had snuck out of the back door of our classroom (we had a retired lady as a substitute who had no discipline and didn't seem to care about anything other than her God children that she talked about incessantly) and had just put myself down to start my shit when the multiple bell rang to indicate a drill. I decided to continue with my shit since there was nowhere to run to and I would only be admitting guilt to the throngs of students coming down the stairs in the usual fast, orderly fashion. Lucky me, I was in the first of five stalls and the custodian assigned to watch the boys (we had no male teachers) simply told me to hurry and finish up and to join the others who were packing in between the urinals and sinks on one wall and the toilets on the other. Several of the 7th and 8th grade boys pointed to me and cupped their hands to make pooping noises while other would nudge their friends and point me out. I almost instantly gave it a hard push and finished my crap, pulled up my jeans and joined the other standees for a minute or two before the drill ended.

When I got back to class I remembered that I hadn't even wiped or washed my hands. From that day on I decided that, like it or not, I had better get permission first, take the wooden bathroom pass, and use the regular bathroom on our floor. The possibility of having two or three boys watch me shit didn't seem that bad any more.

I so feel for you, Roderick. Such an embarrassment for a third grader to be caught shitting in an open stall when several members of the student body are assigned to report to the bathroom during drill. That would suck. I would have cried and begged my parents to put me in another school. I have never crapped in front of anyone else...I would rather risk shitting my pants instead of doing it. And to pee, I have also always wanted privacy. I guess I'm lucky that most of the restrooms at my high school have doors. I remember that my middle school had one open stall in each bathroom, and outside of emergencies, none of us girls would use it. Privacy is important. I feel for the humiliation you must have gone through that day.

I agree with Susie, Roderick suffered the ultimate in humiliation. And, like with Susie, I won't pee or shit in front of anyone--even my boyfriend with whom I live. Many times in high school and college, my friends and I would stop in gas station restrooms. They would want to come in and talk while I peed and I would say "No way..I gotta have my privacy." Some thought I was strange, but when I pull my panties down, I want total privacy. Likewise, they would still invite me in to talk while they peed and I would decline. Except once when it was about midnight and we were in a really bad neighborhood and my friend had to go in and pee at a convenience store. I was creepy outside so I went in with her. It was also creepy watching her sit down on the seat and she started singing a song. I guess I'm just not that content when I'm peeing in a public bathroom. Also, my voice sucks.

Although I'm probably about 15 years younger than Roderick, I was in situations where there were lots of boys watching me shit in junior high and senior high bathrooms which didn't have stall doors. It was really hard to get a hall pass from a teacher to go during class so if you couldn't hold it until lunch (mine came about 9 a.m. each morning on the dot), you had to crap and crap fast during passing periods. That always meant dozens of boys standing across from the stalls at the urinals and, most troubling, right at the stall entrance, ready to take over when we would wipe and and get off the toilet. To save time, some guys would have their belts undone and they were ready to drop them and would practically push me aside when I got up and was pulling up my underwear and jeans. It was brutal, especially on the younger guys who would be cursed at and called #### if they didn't move fast enough or seemed troubled by being starred down by the stall's next occupant. However, we survived and when we got to college and out into the workplace, privacy doors sure looked good to us!

As a high school teacher, I frequently get requests for restroom passes from students. It is disrupting and time-consuming to have to write the students' names, the time, the date, and my initials on the passes, as well as checking 'restroom,' but I have rarely denied permission. I don't want to be the cause of an accident. I have asked, near the end of the period, whether the students could wait till the bell; more often than not they say yes, and that ends the matter. If they say their need is urgent, I let them go. At a guess, that urgent need in the middle of class is to defecate; surely they could have urinated prior to class.

I fully understand what Cal is saying about the guys being picked on (isn't 'bullied' the word being used today?) when older students would come in and want to interrupt them. Because I was average size and didn't allow the stare downs to intimidate me, I didn't get much abuse. The worst situation for me came when I was just starting my crap in an open stall and a senior boy came in, whipped out his organ and threatened to pee on me if I didn't immediately get up. I sat my ground, although it was scary. He could have easily gone around the corner and used one of 9 or 10 urinals but it was part of the "ritual" to intimidate the underclassmen--especially the boys who were underdeveloped. I remember once the first week of school my sophomore year being on the stool, constipated and trying to get a large piece of crap to come out when four football players came over and worked over a very young freshman boy who was crapping in the stall next to mine. I noticed him when I came in. He did stand out with his boney legs, striped boxers which he had down to the floor, and his really small and awkward looking penis laying on the front of the bowl for all to see. They must have spent 3 minutes all at the stall entrance hassling him and calling him ***boy. We were both at the sinks at the same time and he was in tears. While I felt badly for him, I was just glad they didn't single me out. I remember telling my older sister about it because they had stall doors and some semblence of privacy. Later two of the boys were picked up for drunken driving and removed from the team. However, no punishment could have equaled the humiliation they dished out.

The boy in Ritchie's story is in an especially sad situation because he probably didn't have an older brother or sister to talk to about the "life skills" necessary for dealing with such a situation. Hmmm. Boney legs, striped boxers dropped all the way to the floor, awkward looking penis laying over the front of the bowl for all to see. Wow! And he was probably using the first stall just inside the entry that all the boys would have to pass in order to get to the urinals. Being an only child, that was like me 6 years ago when I started high school. To top it off, I clearly remember my first freshman year crap as one where I forgot to check first for toilet paper and you guessed it! Also, I laid my green hall pass down on the floor and forgot when I switched stalls to wipe. I got a 30-minute detention for not following school rules. Then and now, I believe the girls don't realize all the advantages they have with doored stalls and less opportunities to hassle the incoming freshmen. Ritchie's right. The boys who "stand out" and look awkward and scared are in for trouble from the bullies if they haven't been taught their "life skills".

I love how clean women feel they need to be. You can't beat a pristine, fragrant, soft and cuddly woman, It's one of gods gifts to men. Butt, I know that these stories from women, about poop, are all lies, damn lies! *blood pressure rising* everybody knows, WOMEN DONT POOP!

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like a constipated accountant- I worked it out with a pencil.

C'mon all you Mousketeers sing along with me.
P-o-t, T-e-y, L-o-u-s-e. Pottey louse, Pottey louse. Your shit will surely stink up the whole house.

If I understand Sean's comment correctly, us females who are shielded by doored stalls and thus less opportunity to be hassled by incoming students, should be thankful of our situation because the males in the bathroom on the other side of the wall are victimized because they have open stalls and if they don't have their life skills down pat, they will be hassled by older students using the bathroom? Although I'm a Student Council member and out for two sports--something that might qualify me as a "life skills" user--between peeing and crapping I use the bathrooms at school four or five times a day. I would think that would outpace Sean's one sit a day. Although most of all our stalls have doors, broken latches are common and bent doors out of alignment with gaping spaces between the door and partition are commonplace. We go through rolls of toilet paper faster, and like Sean, regularly need to wipe urine and similar fluids off the seat before sitting down. And those who don't do such homework are more likely to be victims of surprises such as a log left on a black seat in a dimly lit bathroom or even something more severe like having your butt stick to a seat that is treated with superglue and ink (a prank that caused seven of my friends problems last spring when they became the first person to use their respective stalls that morning). Then there's the daily longer lines for each stall because we don't have the long line of urinals for a gender that interestingly enough needs more time for the simple urination process. Come on over to our side Sean and learn more about how important "life skills" are applied with greater frequency and immediacy!

Sean, Idiot Patrol, just so you guys know, the life skills you need in high school aren't the ones you will be using in adulthood. Sorry about that.

Werd.

Dodge, maybe idiot patrol will be that girl at the high school reunion in twenty years who's still wearing her letter jacket and trying to be hall monitor during bathroom breaks.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

If she was my kid I'd take her over my lap and span......err well maybe not.

PD, if she was your kid, I'd do it for you.

Wait, what?

If she were PD's kid, I'd take PD over my knee...oh wait...I see where this is going....FUCKING TEDDY!!!!

If I read thru the verbiage of Idiot Patrol's posting it gets down to this: would I rather use a toilet at school several times a day with a stall door in place but with less cleanliness or would I rather sit down on a toilet that perhaps has less total use each day but no stall door? My answer is easy: privacy is most important to me. We bathe or shower each day but there's no way to get our privacy back. And speaking of the "life skills", would Idiot Patrol consider being a restroom attendant in heavily-use bathrooms in government buildings or airports?

Roderick's story might have taken place more than 50 years ago back in the 1950s, but I saw a similar situation happen just last summer at an outdoor concert that drew about a thousand people to one of our parks. A thunderstorm that started with some really piercing lightning and immediate wind gusts caused many of us to run for cover. Those with cars nearby had an obvious choice, but those of us who walked from the neighborhood or who had been dropped off made a run for the portable toilets (which quickly filled up) or the brick restroom shelters about 100 feet away.

There were two doorless stalls, both in use, by two very startled and embarrassed teens and one working sink in a room you could easily see at one time had another 5 or 6 stalls which had long ago been taken out, but the piping had been capped to the wall and painted over. We started by standing and eventually most took a small amount of space on the floor
--the wall space was claimed first--and most of us just sat and talked as we listened for the storm to pass over. One middle-aged lady had a daughter about 6 who started to cry because she had to pee badly, so the mom and a couple of others helped shield the front of the stall as the little girl got up on the stool and sat down.

The storm didn't last more than 10 minutes and concert resumed. My daughter, who is 7, had to poop so I just walked her home and we didn't go back. Neither of us wanted to sit on wet grass or drenched blankets.