I took a crap. I didn't write about it. It's not on this site.

You were lucky, Hum. This could easily have escalated into the Turd World War.

what goes around SPLATTERS around nice story

Did any of you get sick from inhaling Pigeon poop? Was the company sited for exposing y'all to pigeon poop diseases? Do you still work for this company? Are you going to be eligible for pigeon poop lung benefits?

Hmm...It seems that management "inadvertently" exposing you to some pigeon shit bacteria does not warrant turd revenge..after all, they didn't know either.

That being said, sending you in to start without knowing if there was asbestos or not warrants more than turd terrorism. It might warrant legal action depending on your local laws.

And it seems you got screwed even deeper than you realize..those free buffets are a smack in the face, and a similar tactic is used by wal-mart to justify low wages (free donughts)..it's cheaper than hazard pay, lawsuits, or raising wages..if these little cheap ass perks are sprinkled in, the real money you are entitled to slips your memory.

Anyhow, it reminds me of a turd revenge I once took out against management. It seemed that we were going to be "downsized" but management would interview everyone to rehire a select few into the remaining jobs with higher pay. Fair enough..they interviewed everyone who applied and told the successful applicants right away and told them to keep their mouths shut because the unsuccessful ones..like myself...were NOT going to be told and instead be strung along for an additional month in order to get what little labor there was left out of us. It was a month we could have used to job hunt, and management knew damn well we would not work that hard if we were aware that we only had a month of employment left. They worried we wouldn't give a shit about the company anymore and they were right!

Now, I can understand NOT getting the job. I would have said thanks for the interview and started looking for work elsewhere. I would even have stayed in the meantime to collect the last few paychecks..but no, this company choose to lie to us..telephone calls were avoided, managers lied to our faces..those successful applicants spilled the beans but management denied it all even when confronted with it.

Let the revenge begin! I decided to stay just to wreak havoc with the company for a month, I was so pissed off. Myself and others started a massive attack on just about every operation we could. We "lost" invoices, we called up clients and pissed them off, we violated just about every business law we could think of, we wasted every resources we could...paper, water, gasoline, we called every inspector we could think of in..weights and measures, OSHA..you name it. We called expensive and unecessary service contracters too visit do unecessary work. We also took all manner of physical revenge..black faxes in the night, putting metal in the microwave in the breakroom to screw up the magentron, rare earth magnets near hard drives and computer monitors, snipped lines in the phone room, you get the idea.

One of my faves was to go into the washroom and open the pipe space panel. Most of you have seen this..it's a little square panel in the stall that allows the plumber to access the plumbing. A few of us took to pissing in it, leaving a permanent piss stink. But on a few occasions I would actually get out the rubber gloves and place a full turd in the space. Over the course of a month this lead to about 9 turds being stuck behind the wall, and trust me, you could smell it but nobody could locate it.

did people really poop in there pants because of the lack of facilities?

SP
Hospitalization or long term illness from the fungus found in pigeon droppings is possible, however no one got sick. At any rate the company is defunct. No litigation arose from the incident as we were not afraid to take shit into our own hands.

Pinworm
The potential asbestos exposure was sheer greed mixed with inept management. Fortunately all of the tests came back negative.
As to the food. The six of us worked for Gene back when he had his own business. It was not that he took the entire construction personnel out to lunch, just his former employees paid for out of his own pocket, not the company card. When we poisoned his truck he made a subtle change from lunch at a diner or deli to a buffet because he knew our gluttonous natures would lead to predictable results. Maturity and common sense were absent from the lexicon.

Anonymous
Some people used their underwear to wipe. Not every one is a solid logger.

ThunderB, short, sweet and damn funny!_______

whats that smell?

My anticipation kept building with each paragraph till I thought I would pop!

HB, a good story, but there are a few things I don't understand.
If all the boss could do was withhold shit paper, surely that gag would only work for one day before word got around and blokes started taking their own, or a newspaper (doesn't everybody, anyway?).
I've never worked in the construction industry, so I'm not clued-up on how things are done. But a good story, nonetheless.

I started reading this story and thought it was good.

As I went on I thought it was bullshit.

Then I went back to thinking it was good and funny; I know how guys in the trades fuck with each other.

I still think parts of this story are bullshit but whatever; frankly I'm sick of trying to sort though these stories to figure out what is PoopFact and what is PoopFiction.

So don't, just enjoy them for what they are.

TB, lol. And Pinworm's story was just as good as the main!

I can visualize the whole job site, different specialties pointing fingers at each other. Yes the pooper can be quite the source of anguish/resent on the job.

I re-read this a few more times, and it occurs to me that this story does a wonderful job of illustrating how feces can be used as a weapon, as well as showing the futility of escalation. The resounding fart of retaliation appears to ring loud and true for you and your co-workers, even years later, all because of an oversight involving something as innocuous as pigeon-shit, (which would have no-doubt been discovered if management had checked-out the building beforehand), laying-in-wait for a century; The seed that would blossom into this branching tree of fecal-terrorism. It brings to mind the current Israeli/palestinian conflict, and makes one wonder how much needless suffering has been caused by our short-sightedness and our desire for payback.
"You must be willing to reap the harvest"
Reap the harvest, indeed.

In 2002, I was working at a wildlife rehab (it might have been 2001), and I had to clean off the top of the screech owl enclosure. This was where pigeons roosted. Lots of pigeons. During the clean-up, I squirted the hose towards one of the slats in the tin roofing and was smacked in the face with a splashback of pigeon shit and hose water. I inhaled some of it and got it in my nose.

Within 3 days I was sick enough to warrant going to the hospital. I'm allergic to some molds, like deathly allergic, and I had thought the moldy poop had made me very, very sick. Now, I wonder. Did I inhale Cryptococcus by accident? My symptoms were extreme fatigue, trouble breathing, loss of appetite, and a great deal of coughing. It was, in fact, like having pneumonia. I was unable to get out of bed for 2 days. Gator sat with me the entire time. (I love my dog).

Pigeon poop is some nasty shit.

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

I enjoyed this story too! I don't always condone turd terrorism, but in some instances it seems warranted. I was a victim of turd terrorism in a grocery store, but I still think it has its place in the realm of payback.

Pinworm- your story reminds me of what my friend did when the trucking company she worked for was closing down. They gave everyone a week's notice, and in one week they turned that place into a monkey cage! People stole whatever wasn't bolted down, every light fixture was either emptied of its lights or rendered inoperable, all the security cameras got vaselined, and on the last day there all the chairs got peed on and all the toilets got clogged! My friend felt guilty taking the adding machine from her desk, until she saw people loading a copier into someone's pickup truck. I told her she should have left a few upper-deckers for them too but she said she was too clumsy and probably would have broken an arm trying to balance herself on the toilet tank!

_______
Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

I happen to think that ransacking, looting or defiling ones place of work simply because it has shut down is wrong, and also illegal. I would not lose a moments sleep over anyone who was caught and prosecuted. If the company did something wrong legally, then I would understand persuing them through the courts. They should have channelled all of that energy towards something useful, like....say finding another job.

Hmmm...
A serious post from pd!
Now, I am in a quandary as to whether to go with the turd terrorists, or go with my conscience (which is in line with pd).
Once again, it depends on the circumstances. If the company was closing due to corporate greed, e.g. outsourcing offshore, then the turd terrorism is probably justified.
If the closure was due to economic pressures and the company was forced out of business, then a bit of pride and solidarity would be in order. When a small company is forced out of business, the boss suffers, too.

Damn that was definitely justified. That pigeon crap must have stunk to high heaven. Its too bad others didnt follow your lead.
_______
The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

A well written and entertaining tale!

Makes me wonder, though--you guys brought in special gloves for ass-to-wall transport yet repeatedly forgot to bring in some bumwad from home?

Don't be alarmed BM. I have committed myself to the 90/10 contribution here. Ten percent thought provoking posts, serious opinion sharing, and truely helpful advice to those who are in need. The other ninety percent, immature, moronic attempts to be humorous at the expense of even the most downtrodden of souls. I'm good for at least a week now.

Pigeon poop can carry the hanta virus which isn't good. That being said, I still can't vouch for turd terrorism. I mean yeah, sometimes things just happen, you crap in the yard and blame it on the dog but, loading a man's truck with feces, that's just not right.

and PD, I'm still snickering at that "try wetting your pants in the super-market" line from the other story. If I could "great" posts you'd have a two pointer for that one.

I'll be happy to great it for you. It was very funny, wasn't it?

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

HB, this is one of the funniest stories I've read in a while. I think of all the genres of poop stories I have read on this site, the blue collar and contractors' poop tales are the funniest by far. Nitty-gritty workers do know how to mess with each other.

Your descriptions are outrageously funny themselves. I was just picturing you and the guys in a movie-like scene of settling pigeon poop and feathers! And it was devilishly delightful to laugh at the constant exchange of dirty revenge.

Besides, this story has a great moral in the end. "If we all took a bunghole for a bunghole, the world would be constipated."

_______
Born right the first time.

Not Pinworm from Biancas' Smutshack? Say it ain't so....

_______
teddy Putting shit in that guys truck didn't solve anything its wrong anyway.For once i agree with you P.D.And i wouldn't lose sleep over anyone getting caught doing the dirty deed.Let me understand something they put pigeon shit in his truck right???And they were ready to file a lawsuit about breathing pigeon crap dust.Come on the guy with dookie in his truck could sue you guys for the very thing you were worried about getting in your lungs.I once back in the 80s cleaned for a man an outside window that pigeons had destroied i mean totaled.It was caked up 2"inches thick it took a while to clean too.See you turd folks later..

Uh... Bilge?!?

_______
Born right the first time.

Teddy, I'm glad to see you and I agree on something, and I thank you for your support. We're on the same page on this one brother.

LJ, can I borrow the Star Jones seat. Pleeeessse. I'll arrange to have someone ship it back.

I'm still in a poop war with my ex-roommate from college. This has been going on for 9 years. The last battle ended when he dropped a deuce under the floormat of my car before I had to drive 2 other people to a concert 3 hours away. I guess this was retaliation for the time I loafed in his bathroom trash before his family came over for dinner.

PD, sorry that I missed your desperate (and understandable) plea for the SJS. I'll send it on to you soon as I get it back from Eliot Spitzer.

Ooh, yeah ! ! ! ! ! ! vlp, you reminded me of a time when I was involved in something similar.
I once worked as a locomotive cleaner, and some of these guys were absolute animals. One guy crapped in another guy's bucket of window-cleaning liquid. The poor bastard (victim) reached in to grab the wool pad, grabbed something squishy, pulled his hand out, and nearly had an epileptic fit.
Funny shit (no pun intended), but jeez, you had to be on your toes all the time...

An x-ray of my lungs looks like a roadmap
thanks to pigeon shit. I breathed a lot of dust while cleaning dried poop from a pigeon infested church steeple.

The resulting case of histoplasmosis I developed left my right lung covered with granulomas which show in x-rays as small black dots.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Hope its not too serious Chief. We want you around for a while.