Wow, this is a long story. I'm impressed.

You could have come to a very sticky and udignified end landing on the stick shift, Chuckie - maybe that`s what the doctor`s staff were waiting, or even hoping, for. Have you ever heard of the "Darwin Awards"? They salute the improvement of the human gene pool by honouring those who remove themselves from it in really stupid ways.

Well Chucky, I was expecting you to shart when you coughed, I must admit. The "buildup" of talking about coughing left me wanting more from the story. No matter though, I remember this is a work in progress, so the thought that shit is going to happen in every chapter would be unbelievable.

I like the way you write.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

This is an entertaining read, and I like the miniseries concept, but you've evidently mined the poop angle of this tale as far as it will go. Unless there's more crap (of the literal, not the literary kind) to come, I suggest you wind this up with Part IV.

This is getting boring and out of hand. Is this poopreport or a soap opera recap website?

Hell, this story isn't even good enough to be a stupid soap opera.

Get to the point already.

I'm done with this low rent story and it's being stretched out into a week of reports. Are you going to knock the bottom out of Sally or spend the rest of your life regaling us with your loserhood? What's next, a picture of the mullet that you surely have accompanying the next "episode"? Perhaps a scanned pic of your UAW union card? Wrap it up.

Against my efforts, I'm now seeing Chuckie with a mullet. It brings a whole new "Joe Dirt" feel to this story, right down to tee tops on the car. Damn you CEP. You and your imagery. You charismatic hunk of conservative pathos. Now I know later I'm going to go back and read all 3 parts of this story with David Spade in my mind.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Shrinkage is what this episode III is suffering from. You've got talent, but you're apparently getting some bad advice from your agent/editor. I too recommend that the next one be I-V and out.

I doo see what you're trying to doo. The whole day was a SERIES of struggles against squirting butt-fudge, and you've broken it into components representing different facets of the day.

I think, though, that all three parts COULD have been meshed together effectively. Not that I haven't enjoyed them; I have, but it has dragged in parts. I think part III might not have been quite enough "poop-action" to carry the story.

I doo like your writing style, though.

This is turning into a Poop Report version of 24.I hope there are not 24 episodes in this story.

also, way is Chuckie getting 10 points per part with this story?

Far better stories have only been awarded 10 points while this story has already received 30 points with more to follow.

That's just wrong.

i have to agree that, while the story has been entertaining and well-written, i don't really see the need for the installments. particularly, because at least some portion of both part 2 and part 3 were a recap of what happened in the previous stories. i like the idea of installments, but i think it would work better (for this site) if each installment had a new poop-related issue. i realize that the theme of diahreea is running through the series (pun, of course, intended), but nothing really happened in today's installment. all you did was leave the office. this part probably could've been omitted.

i'm not trying to discourage the author, or anything. i just hope the next one has some kind of climax, or, at the very least, some actual poop.
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i love poop.

This story is turning into "Joe Dirt" meets the "Star Wars" double trilogy in reverse order. I am hanging in there but "Episode 4, The Trans Am Menace" was lacking from the previous three.

I post 'em as I get 'em. He's been sending them in pieces, that's how I've been posting them.

Boy, the tide sure does turn quick here on PoopReport.

Dave, if Chuckie wants to write a soap opera, why don't you suggest he join the forums and post it under "Poop Stories." I wrote a miniseries a couple of months ago called "The Park City Diaries," and, even though I had to end it rather lamely about a month ago for personal reasons, it has gotten over 3700 views, and still continues to gather about 100 views per week.

So, there is an appetite for long, drawn-out melodrama on PR. It just doesn't belong here on the front page, in my humble opinion.

I just read for the first time The Park City Diaries. Great job, Dumpy! All my work came to a stop during the 30 lovely minutes or so I spent reading it. And I think that your saga would have done fine here on the front pages as a serial. By the way, I also went skiing this past winter in Park City, but didn't enjoy quite the same male/female ratio you did. And the summer before that I attended a conference in Park City, during which I clogged the toilet in my condo just before guests arrived. So our lives seem to be on parallel tracks (God help you). I'm thinking now of writing this up -- the clog itself could be stretched into 3 episodes. With all the other surrounding detail about what people said and had to drink at the party, and recapping everything at the beginning of each episode, I could be looking at a 50 pointer. Hot damn.

greatest story ever, it needs to be the first ever poopreport.com feature film

You could get away with it, LJ.

So you "also went skiing this past winter in Park City"? Jeez, what if you and I were out there at the same time? What if you were one of those guys in the hotel bar observing the critical encounter between Kitti and me?

(Oh, and thanks for the compliments on the story!)

sorry, dave. i usually only have positive things to say about the stories. i think i'm in a bitchy mood today.
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i love poop.

I was totally into parts 1 and 2, but I have to agree that it's starting to get thin. I think a total of 3 parts would've been perfect.

But chuckie, you're an excellent writer. I look forward to more (but shorter) poop stories.

My fault on the math. I applaud parts one and two. Obviously part four has not been posted yet. Senile at 43... .

This is one of the few sites where you'll be rewarded in some way for your senility...

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You can't polish a turd

hey yeah i mean i love a good story as much as the next guy but this serialization is making me feel like a kid waiting for a new comic, that and i'm sorry dude but you;ve run out of interesting things to say. In the interest of not being a total dick it's a good story and all but half of every new installation seems to be a recap of everything else that's happened. ah whatever, i've finally had a few days off and have come up with a couple new ones, maybe they'll be on here soon.

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yours in time,

Sharty Mcfly

I really like this series, but sadly i was a little disappointed by this part. I was expecting a shart or something when she grabbed you, and something else with you landing on the car's shifter. Besides that, I'm still entertained, and I look forward to Part 4.

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Have you checked out Sloan's Uppercut yet?

Not to worry my disgruntled part three readers. The Part Four final installation promises to be eminently readable, thoroughly conclusive, and emotionally satisfying. Don't you want to see how I made such an awful situation into one in which I marry the beautiful Sally, and then while at her reunion, make her wonder all over again why she ever bothered? Stay tuned.

yes, i believe the general consensus is that part three is a bit disappointing, but we still look forward to part four.

so bring it on!
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i love poop.

I'm on the fence with this trillogy, however, YOU DONT BELIEVE IN PREMARITAL SEX!!!
Did I read that correctly. No wonder you have enough time on your hands to write a 4 part
poopreport. Got nothin better to do?

Calm down, Rottenshit. I have never had sex. I'm 19 years old and not married. I don't believe there's anything wrong with that. I've got plenty of time to marry and have sex.

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Have you checked out Sloan's Uppercut yet?

Thank you, Dufya.

Rotten--

I'm sorry. Did you just flame someone for their personal beliefs? I think you did. Did the author attack those with different beliefs? He did not.

I think you owe Chuckie an apology.

Apparently Mr. Rotten doesn't know the spelling or meaning of the word "trillogy," so I wouldn't pay him much attention.

Question for Chuckie (the author of this series): Are you the same person as "the chuckster," above? If so, you ought to post under your registered user name!

Anyway, although we're all (clearly) delighted to hear that Part IV will be (in the immortal words of Logjam) "I-V and out," I hope you will use your superior storytelling talents to give us some more poop humor on other topics.

Two questions: (1) If you work for Chrysler, why were you driving a Trans Am instead of a Firebird? (2) Do you really have a mullet? Once Daphne or C. Everett Poop enters a thread, it is forever altered, and, in this case, they've BOTH gotten into the picture!

(I think you should join the forums and write some more "Poop Operas.")

dude if he was working for chrysler he should have been in a charger or a challenger depending on the date. A firebird is a trans am with some extra equipment, not a flame i'm just a little bit of a car nut. And i am looking forward to the final instal didn't mean to bitch so much, but i'm a terribly impatient person.

Sharty, I ain't no expert on cars. I drive an SUV, myself, for which TSV cordially despises me.

-slightly off topic, but related-
I had a mullet in high school but it's been cut off since then. I drive a '01 Chevrolet Malibu, but I definitely woudl't pass up a huge black Lexus SUV with everything in/on it. Despise me as you will.

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Sometimes it jus[MESSAGE TRUNCATED]

Please pass up the Lexus DF - only retards drive these kind of things.

Have you driven a Toyota lately? They are more or less a feature-stripped Lexus. My mom has a 2005 4Runner, and it rides and drives great! I can only imagine that a feature-loaded Lexus can only be better.

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Sometimes it just takes two.

i understand dumpster, and i didn't mean to be overly critical or anything, i just tend to be a know it all sometimes. as far as wheels i have a pretty old turbo volvo, she still goes, but also manages to leak oil on par with the exxon valdeze, i know it's not terribly environmentally friendly, because of probably the gallons of oil i must've left in this state alone, but the mileage isn't bad. i've always been all about volvos because of the saftey and the esoteric draw of european cars. and chucky, i've gone through the sunroof on several occasions myself, but never in quite such a desperate shituation.

SO totally off-topic, but, man! I had the SWEETEST '88 Firebird. That baby rumbled like a purring tiger! But I gave it up when I got married; we couldn't take it overseas. *Sigh*.

The ex-Mrs. Dumpster took the family Volvo with her when she left. I like my Explorer, but I sure miss my truck! Next time around, I think I'll go back to two vehicles--a passenger car (along the lines of a Ford 500), and a pickup (along the lines of an F150).

Every man needs a truck.

31 miles to the gallon, baby! I will drive my eighteen-year-old Chevy S-10 until it dies!

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I'm sorry, but it appears that my karma ran over your dogma.

"...Every man needs a truck...."

That's what my husband says. And so he has one. 13 mpg, thanks.

Sort of a shame that the truck comes attached to the man, heh?

A (female) friend of mine somewhat scathingly defined a "man" as "a life support system for a penis."

That wasn't very nice, was it?

Rather like my mother's theory of what a stick shift REALLY represents.

Sounds like you and your mother have a really, er, open relationship, GGG!

She was a pistol, alright. Would've given Poop Report a run for it's money, and also would have been a FANTASTIC medical poop advisor ala PooNurse.

She has gone on to her reward, however.

My car almost went there. I would have let her drive it.

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I'm sorry, but it appears that my karma ran over your dogma.

Oooh! Thanks for the offer, but... She was a Ford gal (much to my chagrin). :P

Here in the sough, people love Chevy and hate Ford, or vice versa. My family shares a '88 S10 with a V6 in it from a '95 Chevy cargo van. It gets ~7mpg but it's a really good truck. My car is about 25 or so, so it's driveable.

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Sometimes it just takes two.

Sorry for the typo above. South and not "sough".

Also, forgot to add, the truck is only used when there's something to haul that won't fit in an SUV, mainly due to its low effieciency and its age.

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Sometimes it just takes two.

I wonder why their 88 S10 is so crappy on mileage? As I stated above, mine gets 31 miles to the gallon.

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So I told Katrina that I love Cajun and so she said, "I'll have to give that a try."
That was a disaster in the making.
After all was said and done, I said, "I meant Cajun FOOD not Cajuns themselves!"
Unfortunately, by that point she'd already told Rit

It's because we rebuilt that '95 motor ourselves rather than the "proper" way to make it fit in the '88 body. It still runs, it's powerful, and it's LOUD. Other than the bad mileage, it's definitely a man's truck.

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Sometimes it just takes two.

Chuckie, we still want to hear the Rest of the Story.... If there is one.

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Send all your money to Bilgepump, or to Dave!

I feel bad for you. I mean, you already have to poop really bad... and then you fall on the stick shifter!!! THAT sounds like a bad day!

At least the shifter didn't enter your rectum! THAT would have been so much worse. My car is automatic but still has the shifter in the center console, so I can still understand... sort of.

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"Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus

How many parts are there? I was peeing myself with laughter after the last one, but this one has me worried.

it's been over a month, what, no Part Four?

oh well, if not, no great loss.

I think we ran him off.

Whens the next episode come out? Sounds like, for me anyway, I'd never be able to come face to face with her again, and I'd birth that Dr's office a 10 mile cushion that i NEVER re-entered.

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...and what the HELL is that smell??????!!!!!!!!!!!??????????

__This story is like the energizer bunny..it keeps going and going...At this point we all need some sort of closure. If I wrote_a thousand page poop novel and posted it a page at a time would I end up with more points than dave?____
owlbeback

No.
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Mmmm...Fiber: Nature's Broom!

Ahhhhh lets move it along there Charles youre killing us with all the suspense here. At this point if I am you I am seriously considering a dump right there in the ol convertible. But maybe true romance rears its head and you meet up with Sally and have to take a dump that would wake the dead with its sound AND smell. Do you do this at her house risking some serious radioactive dumpoff OR trooper that you might be because this story is so epic, do you manage to hold it whilst perhaps getting a phone number? All righty then lets see how this plays out.
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

chuckies gotta have a mullet and be queer
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i have met many people that talk like asses but i have not met many asses that talk like people

So where exactly is Part 4?

Did we ever get part four?