Why My Butt Leaks

// // 30 Comments
m 1+ points - Newb
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My butt leaks because twenty-five ago I had some thrombossed hemorrhoids that had to be opened and cauterized. I suppose there was no other way to fix it.

Right away, I noticed I'd lost my pucker. I couldn't hold back a BM. Not for but a moment, and sometimes even less.

Three years ago, I caught e-coli and was very sick. Since that time, I have to wear Depends -- sometimes I don't make it in time, and the pads help to minimize my embarrassment. But that's not 100%, either.

Stool specimens and the camera have found no problems.

I sometimes have four BMs from the period between breakfast and lunch. Then I have to wipe a couple of times between BMs. My hemorrhoids get very angry with me. Kaopectate is useless against this. It sounds like Habba Syndrome, but after the gallbladder scans they said it wasn't that.

I think it is, but the doctors that are supposed to know think they know everything when they don't. For example: twenty years ago, I was going blind. A neurologist told me, "If you had a brain tumor causing this, you'd be dead by now." Thirteen months later he had to tell me that yes, I DO in fact have a brain tumor. Doctors don't even realize lots of times what they DON'T know.

Some day I'll see another doctor that will know how to fix my leaky butt. But it might be a while. So I'll wear the pad every day until then.

30 Comments on "Why My Butt Leaks"

Ca Ca Doodle Doo's picture
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And the reason you aren't seeking out doctors on a regular basis is?????? With all the technology--surgeries, biofeedback, electronic implants, even artificial sphincters there's no reason this can't be improved greatly, if not totally resolved. Get busy!

pooprincess's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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sounds like you have had nothing but bad luck! I feel for u! you are right about doctors though...all this new technology and yet,they can't fix a leaky ass! best of luck to u,hope all turns out well.

PINWORM's picture
l 100+ points
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I think there are still options to explore. My sister in law had a bowelectomy and they converted some of her lower intestine into a new bowel...she had the same problem for about two years but was on a strict regimine of muscle "excersises" that finally gained her control.

I see that your actual sphincter was probably partially removed or the nerves severed so the muscle doesn't respond the way it should, but you can strengthen the muscles around it to compensate.

There is also the possibility of a physical aid, like a kind of butt plug that in the worst case scenario, acts like a sphincter and physically blocks leakage. She had one, and when she had to go she simply removed it and went, but in the interim it stopped leakage.

C Everett Poop's picture
j 1000+ points
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No time to comment. I have to go get an industrial size barrel of psyllium husk fiber after reading this..............

Thunderbox's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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Just a thought: maybe proctologists and gut doctors and the like are not the best for this job.

Why not try a plastic surgeon? I`m sure some of them would be willing to have a go at a re-pucker or sphincter tuck. They`d have your ringpiece as tight as a virgin`s twat in no time.

The voice of sanity

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
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Possibly have a Froot Loop sewn in there. (your choice of colors)

Brown Bunny's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Maybe you should start watching "House" and you'll figure out what's wrong with you.

RoosterTail's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Wow...never head of an artificial but hole but just to prove you can google just about anything, here's what I found...
"an artificial rectal sphincter is used to treat fecal (bowel) incontinence caused by neurological or muscular dysfunction of the sphincter. Once again, it is advised that all potential candidates try bowel and sphincter retraining before resorting to this procedure."
So...basically were talkin about a bionic asshole!

The Thunderous Crapper 63's picture
k 500+ points
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Ya know that isnt a bad idea maybe they can rebuild or strengthen the starfish so that it holds back the dump. I hope you find your answer there Chuck were all praying for ya.
_______
The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

AHHHHHEMMMMMMMMMM JUST CLEARING MY THROAT!! ;)

DungDaddy's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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Maybe some sort of manually operated butt valve could be installed.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
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RT, two words hit me. Spincter retraining. Are we going to get the little guy to do push-ups and jumping-jacks?

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
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We're all assuming he's got a good health care plan that would afford more testing. Chuck, what are your options? Have you checked out what you are able to recieve in this area? (and I don't mean the area of his butt, I mean in the area of medical care....)

If you have the ability to get more "work" done, you should take advantage of it. No one should have to leak all the time.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

pnuttycorn's picture
k 500+ points
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You Poor thing!

shitwit's picture
k 500+ points
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I agree whole heartedly with Daphne here. You've gotta check out all your options and push them when necessary to get the care you need and deserve. And if you get crappy service you can always just shit in their waiting room chairs and blame it on the leaky butt. If you're there often enough you could stain all the chairs - kinda like playing "around the world" but with turd terrorism in mind.

Sorry, I normally don't condone turd terrorism, but I'm in a foul mood after a shitty night at work, so I say anything goes! Wanna dook all over their lobby? Go for it! Poop in their mailbox? Let er rip!

_______
Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Gaseous Glay's picture
l 100+ points
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You poor bastard.

Thanks for sharing; now I can add "leaky butt" to my list of things to dread as I try to fall asleep at night.

phatmanxxl's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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i cant imagine havin a leaky butt like that, but id like the luxury of wearing a diaper and just do my businees whenever, as long as i have some one to wipe me.

doniker's picture
j 1000+ points
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Oo it must be magic
How inside my ass
I see my destiny
Every time I breathe
I feel you move so deep inside of me
And if the moon and stars should fall
They'd be easy to replace
I would lift up the toilet seat
And you would take your place

Why My Butt Leaks
When I opened up the door
My Butt Leaks
My mud just spilled onto the floor
And I didn't need to see his face
I saw yours
My Butt Leaked and I closed the door
I don't think I'm goin' commando anymore

Everyday I wake up
I thank God that you are still inside of me
Opened up the door to which
So many people never find the key
And if the sun should ever fail to send its light
We will burn a thousand candles
And make everything alright

Why My Butt Leaks
When I opened up the door
My Butt Leaks
My mud just spilled onto the floor
And I didn't need to see his face
I saw yours
I saw red then I closed the door
I don't think I'm goin' commando anymore

I've been hurt
And I've been blind
I'm not sure that I'll be fine
I never thought it would end this way
Oo it must be Depends…….

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Doniker, I think thats a thousand times better than Warrant's original! Nice job.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

DungDaddy's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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That IS very good, Doniker. Are you out of work again?

HowleyKook's picture
l 100+ points
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Don't forget the BOTOX. Worse case... you have a "pouty" leaky pooper.

_______
Happy Crappin'
www.homegrownmedia.com

Happy Crappin'
Homegrown Media Network

poop benedict XVI's picture
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We can rebuild it... We have the technology, This fall CBS brings you, the six million dollar Asshole Starring Lee Majors.

secretary of state bertone's picture
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Ah signore', 'dis Lee Majors. Eee's not enough of an asshole. Let's get Dungdaddy, eh? Eee's more that eenough.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
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P B XVI. Thay, this is Trevor the six million dollar gay man. Let me know when that rebuild is complete. OOOGAH

Uncle Stinky's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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This is clearly the extreme end (no pun intended) of LBS (Leaky Butt Syndrome). I hope you find a way to repair your leaky butt. I have heard that there are reconstructive surgeries to make a better bunghole. Perhaps it's just a matter of getting enough medical opinions (yes, I know it's a pain, and probably costly, too).

_______
A student of all things stinky, I endeavor to document all that which is foul and smarmy.
http://unclestinky.wordpress.com

A student of all things stinky, I endeavor to document all that which is foul and smarmy.
http://unclestinky.wordpress.com

Kittani's picture
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Regarding the leaky butt, yeah... I'm there... Severe mixed IBS. My rectum has a worse itchy trigger finger than Rambo on PCP. Docs say I can get a bionic butthole, but I don't want to squeeze a third "nut" every time I have to go drop a burrito off, or just the sauce... anyways. Holding it isn;t a problem for me... it's having the balls to hold it. IF I do I get rewarded with an hour-long stint on the crapper with half my bung reaching for the pool below. My problem is complicated in that my bowel empties... and then never figures out that it it's empty so it just keeps pushing. IF I don't hold it... my bowel never figures it's full. So basically my option colostomy or investing heavily in absobant gel manufacturers... I'm not doing a bag....

At any rate... good luck with the leaky tailpipe. May I reccomend metamucil? I know it sounds wierd to take a laxative, but the fiber absorbs water in the poo and makes it a little easier to hold on to. I did this for about 6 years before I realized that it wasn't going to ever stop the pain, but I never leaked during that time. It basically turns your poo to the same consistency as melted rubber.

kjetski's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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I am stunned

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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It just goes to show you that doctors don't always know best. On another thread I commented about my twenty years of ailments that turned out to be an infected gallbladder. Sometimes it is just that simple.

My aunt (whom I don't speak to anymore for other reasons), caught Lyme disease in 1999 or so from a deer tick in California. She took the medicine and got over the illness, but a couple of years later she began to suffer from numbness and other disturbing symptoms. Her doctor decided after numerous tests came up negative that she had MS. Recently, I discovered that Lyme disease can cause a condition known as peripheral neuropathy, which has symptoms VERY similar to MS. Alas, her doctor obviously doesn't know this and doesn't care. He gets more money from the MS medication.

That's what this all boils down to. Money. If you have MS, IBS, GERD, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, or depression, they can just throw medicine at it and tell you to go away. If they actually find the REAL cause of your symptoms and treat the condtion (GASP!) you're cured and they don't sell any more medicine!!!

Moral of this story: It pays to do your own research and keep looking for a doctor who doesn't lick the asshole of a drug lor... er... phamaceutical company.

_______
Born right the first time.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Launchin anassrocket's picture
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Chuckie -

I'm feeling you AssNapkin

I tend to leak a few quarts a week myself

Keepin it real

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I got the answer from a medical site here it is

By Kevin Pho, MD, Jun 12, 2008 01:33PM
A colonoscopy or flexible sigmoidoscopy would be a reasonable next step. Any anatomical mass or lesion can lead to anal leakage and needs to be excluded.

More specialized tests like anorectal manometry or an endorectal ultrasound can also be considered to evaluate the sphincter tone of the anal muscles.

These options can be discussed with a GI specialist.

This answer is not intended as and does not substitute for medical advice - the information presented is for patients education only. Please see your personal physician for further evaluation of your individual case.

Kevin, M.D.
www.kevinmd.com

gepetto1945's picture
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I have had a similar problem since I had an anal fiser in 2000. I found a Dr. who could treat me for mold and parasites and each time I went I got a little better. I recently bought a Zapper terminator on line and flushed out the last of the little buggers from my intestine. For the last 2 weeks have had almost no problem, no stained drawers or exploding poop and only minor leakage that I attribute to red yeast rice pills and cheese. I am hopeful that this is over. My experience tells me this has been a mold and parasite problem. Gepetto1945