My Shameless Family

// // 27 Comments
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatori 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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It appears that my laissez-faire attitude towards pooping and privacy has struck a nerve with a few PoopReporters. Since I discovered this site, I've embraced the Shameless Shitting Manifesto wholeheartedly; but I've lived it in spirit my entire life.

Until we moved when I was twelve, my family had only one bathroom for my parents, my brother and I to use. All four of us shared that one bathroom equally; in fact, some of us had to actually walk through the bathroom to get to our bedroom. Mansions, these were not, but we made do. (Pun not intended.)

This arrangement meant that I often saw both my parents on the toilet, and they saw my brother and I as well. No one made a big deal out of it. When we had to go, we went, no matter if there was someone in the bathroom doing something else. It was only when we built a much larger house that my brother and I and my parents had our own bathrooms. But by then my casual attitude towards using the toilet in front of others had been set.

My mother's formative experiences in this regard were even more nonchalant. In addition to her three sisters and her brother, she had a bachelor uncle and male cousin who lived with her family for a long time. Counting her parents, there were nine people sharing one bathroom. We were discussing it once in a light-hearted manner, and I asked my mother, "How did you manage it?"

She explained that where taking baths were concerned, you lobbied for a particular time of the evening when the door would be shut to allow for some privacy. But as for using the toilet, she said that there were just too many people having to go to worry about it. Often in the morning before school, she and her sisters might be brushing their teeth at the sink while any of the men of the family were on the pot. All combinations occurred in complete unselfconsciousness. No one was embarrassed because it was just considered a part of life.

Her experience passed on to me. I recall an incident when I was a teenager visiting my uncle. My uncle was a swim coach, and I spent a lot of time in the pool at his house during the summers. One afternoon, after a good workout with my male cousin, my uncle headed towards what we all called "the little house," where there was an office and a bathroom. My female cousin and I tagged along, not realizing why he was headed there. But it didn't matter. My uncle proceeded into the bathroom, and my little cousin and I followed, and talked with him throughout. This was no different, to my and his way of thinking, then when he was a boy using the toilet in front of all those other family members he had grown up with.

Even though we're all grown up, nothing has changed. These days, when my brother visits me, or I visit him, it's perfectly common for him to be sitting on the toilet, talking to me about the football game we're about to see, while his wife puts on make-up at the sink.

So my Shamelessness, which has shocked so many people, is the logical result of an unavoidable family situation that we were all comfortable with. If you ask me, it's too bad that more people didn't grow up like this.

-- The Big Wiper

27 Comments on "My Shameless Family"

Tydirium's picture
k 500+ points
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I can't imagine growing up like that. We weren't a particularly puritanical family, but we did respect each other's privacy... although we did have a joke that someone would invariably need the other when the other was in the bathroom, so we'd say "What, did the light go on?" meaning that they somehow knew the other was in the bathroom, and that it was the worst time to bug them.

eh... it's funny to us.

Gutbuster's picture
l 100+ points
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Now I have to ask! Me, personally, when I finish my dump, I rarely check the paper on my first wipe, for it is a forgone conclusion that there is no way I will get the chute cleaned on the first pass, HOWEVER, on my second and third run, I generally do check the paper. If I detect even the slightest trace of feces, I will generally take another wad of paper, produce a good clean white load of spit and give myself a wet wipe to ensure I generate no skid mark later. So, when your mom, your sister, your aunt and your old fat grandma were wiping their ass in front of you while you were brushing your teeth, did they check their paper? And did YOU check their paper too? I mean, sometimes you probably had to see it, even if by accident. Didn't that make you want to puke? Gawd, I think I have to puke right now just thinking about it!

Epitaph's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Big Wiper, you are shining example to us all. I wish everyone could be as relaxed and open-minded as you when it comes to crapping. I tried to take a leaf out of your book today, I took a dump at work and left the cubicle door wiiidddeee open. I then tried to engage my MD in conversation when he came in for a widdle. I got a written warning. ARSE!!!!

The Big Wiper's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatori 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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You're confusing the generations in my article, gutbuster. I shared a bathroom for a while only with my brother and parents. It was my mother who shared one with her sisters, brother, parents and male relatives.

I can only speak for myself here, but just because someone was on the toilet while I was in the bathroom didn't mean that I was watching every little thing they did closely every second. It would either have been one of my parents or my brother and not those other people you mention anyway. Considering where the sink was in that bathroom, it would not have been possible for me to watch anyone wiping themselves while I was brushing my teeth unless I pulled a 180-degree Linda Blair, head-rotation maneuver a la 'The Exorcist.'

You are making some graphic assumptions and letting your imagination run wild here. As I emphasized in the article above, the fact that no one made a big deal out of this also meant that no one was approaching it as a voyeurism scene. I can, of course, remember talking to my brother sometimes while he was on the pot, and the reverse also occurred. And I've seen my brother wiping himself plenty of times when he visits in adult life. It's just not something I concentrate on while it is happening, and it certainly never brings our conversation to a grinding halt when it occurs. Seeing my brother on the toilet (or anyone else, for that matter) does not make me want to puke. My head is just in a different place than yours is on this subject.

And this is not to say that I haven't respected someone's privacy when circumstances warranted. I don't think many people would feel comfortable in front of others with a terrible bout of diarrhea. Nor would I want to intrude on them during that time.

Under normal circumstances, however, using the toilet can be and frequently has been for me and other members of my family, a sociable and shameless occasion. I'll leave it at that.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Gutbuster's picture
l 100+ points
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I was just trying to be funny. No Shit! No offense to gentle familymenbers intended. I did recognize the generational flow and only mentioned grannies and moms and wrinkled old aunt for comic emphasis. I am sure you and all of your family are all very normal..... it doesn't really explain why you (we) all spend so much time reading poopreport, though I am sure that this is normal! Isn't it?

The Big Wiper's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatori 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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Hey, gutbuster, I'm not sure I want to be considered normal, whatever that is. Anyhoo, I took no offense at your comments. I enjoy the give and take of PR, or I wouldn't be on here as much as I am.

As to why some of us seem to enjoy talking and relating stories to each other about pooping, my take is that it is merely fundamental to the human condition. We all eat, and we all shit. In one end, and out the other.

Seems to me that there is a double standard here, however. It is perfectly acceptable to talk about, even rave about, the good food we eat, the great cooks some of us are. So, then, why is it not acceptable to talk about the great craps we sometimes take, and the excellent crappers some of us are? There is both humor and pathos in our experiences on the pot, and this site is a testament to that.

Moderator Dave is so right. Pooping is such a unifying experience, actually and potentially. It has been for me all my life. Some of my best conversations with others, not to mention some of my best thoughts, have taken place on the toilet, squeezing out a big one. Hey, Rodin didn't call that statue 'The Thinker' for nuttin'. Peace and Plop, bro!

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Pooperscooper's picture
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I too am jealous of the comfort level you and your family enjoyed. What's fascinating is that you guys apparently did not negotiate this in any formal way, but you worked out a very successful way of combining physical proximity with psychological privacy--that is, you could share the bathroom and the poop experience with other people, yet at the same time, you did figure out a way to respect boundaries--no peeking, and no interrupting someone's concentration on the pooping process.

There are ways to combine physical proximity with emotional boundaries and privacy where it counts, and somehow you guys did it. Again, I am jealous.

My family was odd. We had 3 bathrooms. Emotionally we were rather entangled, (to the point where I have ended up having to go see a psychotherapist), but we never, ever would have imagined taking a piss or a dump except in private. We TALKED about bodily functions and medical stuff (to the point where we could turn people green and make them flee our dinner table) but in practice, my parents and I were all shameful shitters--talked shamelessly about it, but were shameful when doing it.

Families are amazing. An aunt and uncle of mine had 10 kids. I wonder how they coped--I am sure they only had one toilet.

crappercritic's picture
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why does such a fake story get so much talk?

i had a lizard once, that wiped its ass with my hamsters canker sores.

so CUNT!!!!

The Big Wiper's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatori 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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Pooperscooper, you pretty much summed it up when you said "combining physical proximity with psychological privacy." Some people might think it's difficult to do, but it's not, once you accept those terms as part of your daily life.

A different form of that equation took place all those years I used open stalls in school while growing up. The terms were that you would not have much, if any, privacy while using the toilets in the boys' room. But that would be more than made up by the camaraderie that accrued to crapping in each other's presence and making the best or light of it. The biggest jock and the smallest nerd in school had at least that in common. They both had to shit, and sometimes ended up shitting next to each other out in the open in what was perhaps the only opportunity they would really ever have to interact with each other. (A closed stall would not have afforded that opportunity in all likelihood, and even the interaction on the open stalls might be limited to a simple comment on the smell of each other's shit. Nonetheless, it broke the ice and gave them a glimmer of commonality in the ordinarily blunt and often unforgiving world of teenaged one-upmanship.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

the_brown_word (sararrhea)'s picture
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I've mentioned this before, that my Lad (b.f.) and I would let me sit on his lap when we first started going out.. er sleeping together. He left the door partially open while he was pooing and I asked him nonchalantly if I could sit on his lap, he said yes. From then on pooping and other such toilet activities were shared experiences for the two of us. Another close firend of mine would come over and leave the door open so we wouldnt have to discontinue our conversation and I tried to keep that protocol the norm for all close friends. I now keep my poloroid camera on a shelf above my toilet so that when company takes a beauty they can put its picture on my fridge afterwards. Hooray!

gu's picture
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Yeah, it is normal that food truns to poo, in fact EVERYTHING I EAT TURNS TO SHIT! But, I aint really hip on puttinf pictures of other peopale shit on my refrigerator, the place I go to get food. On the same note, I don't wash my grapes in the toilet water!

Bantam's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Holy shit! This is horrible! It reminds me of Central Toilet, the Animated Series. Go watch it at http://www.rsub.com/indexnew.html

Exiled Elite's picture
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I know this topic's been dead for 3 months now, but it certainly hit home. While we didn't have nearly as many people in the house, my family were very casual about pooping in frontof each other. it was just the for of us: myself(male), my parents, and my younger brother. We would all leave the door open when peeing, and the only one who would shut the door when pooping was my father-and it wasn't out of modesty: he just didn't want to stink up the whole house! Believe me, the man certainly was capable of it! My brother and I would have long conversations while the other was on the toilet. It was almost a substitute for reading a book. My mother was the most casual of all: she would often come into the bathrrom while my brother or I were bathing or brushing our teeth, sit on the pot, and do her business while talking about things she needed us to do the next day, school, or something interesting she had read. As I reached puberty, I started to sneak closer glances at her crotch and bottom, purely out of curiosity about the female anatomy. Her exceptionally massive pubic bush didn't reveal many secrets. When I started to spy on her friends as they used our bathroom (and got caught a couple of times), she quickly began to close and lock the door during her toilet times. In one of the frank coversations that followed my getting caught spying on one of her friends, she even blamed herself for the development of my fetish for female excretory activities. Watching her never turned me on, but peeping at her 30 & 40-something female friends, when I was in my early teens, certainly gave me a charge that I hadn't expected. My love of female excretion continues to this day, ridiculously exacerbated by the pervert's playground that is the net.

the dao of poo's picture
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The family that shits together, sticks together.

Zach Sand's picture
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After females make shits, they have to wipe their ass good!

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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We had 2 bathrooms in my house and never used it together. I was real Shameful about using the toilet in front of people until I had 4 kids. I don't care who sees me now as long as I get my chance to sit and shit.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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When growing up I never left the bathroom door open and never had anyone in with me when I pooped; but then, we had two bathrooms. After my marriage, my wife and I never had two bathrooms, and so we soon resolved to be shameless in front of each other. So it still is today. Not a problem.

Blind Mullet's picture
k 500+ points
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Now I'm completely confused. Do American homes not have a separate room for the throne?
My humble fibro abode does, as did the humble fibro abode in which I grew up. Which is a good thing, as the stench my old Dad could generate was capable of making a dog vomit.
_______
The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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when i was growing up my father pooped with the door open. He wouldnt get off the pot for hours and hours. We only had one toilet so i suffered alot with the need to evacuate. Once i went under the fig tree. Our landlord found the pile and confronted me about it. i lied and said a dog got in the yard. then when we got two bathrooms my sister was always in there when i pooped.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Poopsy McGee's picture
l 100+ points
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Not only did I spend my formative years in a house with a mother that blamed her farts on the dog (that old chestnut), but my father was the kind of man who shat 3 times a day, often peppering his shitting melodies with a trumpeting of grunts and moans.

In public both my parents subscribed to the middle class value system and all the decorum that entails, but in private they had no shame. They often expected my brother and I to join them in fits of giggles over their latest ass endeavors. We flatly refused fearing that their hilarity would extend to the times when we had friends over. Didn't want to encourage them.

The dog died in 1995. Now my mother blames her farts on the ghost of the dog. If you remind her the ol' boy died 15 years ago, she blames the wood floors. She still winks at us, hoping she'll finally get that giggle out of us after all. Dad has upped his shitting quota to 5 times a day. The bathroom has been remodeled and the acoustics in there really amplify the sharts echoing in the bowl.

All this has had a profound effect on me. I am a shameful shitter to the highest degree. Some things are just ingrained.

spattacus's picture
l 100+ points
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The Victorian house where I was born in London had a toilet that was only accessible from outside and the light switch was in the main house; OK for family but when my friend visited and was shitting in the dark, he couldn't find the TP and wiped on the hand towel. My old man went ballistic and he was banned!

Blind Mullet's picture
k 500+ points
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Spattacus, what you've described is a classic example of what we call "Pommy engineering".
A shithouse outside, with the light-switch back inside the house. Pommies are renowned for designing things that are clumsy and poorly thought out.
Why do you think that any reference to Lucas automotive electrical equipment gets the snide remark "Aargh! The prince of darkness!"
As my friend says: "Pommy engineering, man... Ask a Pom to design a twin shithouse, and he'll put one on top of the other..."
_______
The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

spattacus's picture
l 100+ points
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BM, to be fair, the house was probably built before electricity became available and had been converted into flats occupying the 3 levels. Having the ground floor we got the outside bog.
I have 30 yrs experience of Joe Lucas' wares, especially the non-availability of it or long periods and would like to say you're wrong..... you're not.

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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Poopsy, my grandmother(God rest her soul)used to blame her "poo-peas"(farts) on the imaginary big red dog under her window outside. At first i was gullable and would look out the window to see the big red dog."Na-uh Ra Ra!
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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I suppose I was from a strange family, we not only took credit for our farts but we bragged about the stench. I remember my mother once commented about my grandmother, saying that she could tell whose cooking her children had been eating by the smell of their farts.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Russell's picture
l 100+ points
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Wiper, good story. I can be taking a dump and my mom will be doing her hair or something. I do like privacy too.
_______
Russell the shitting queen

Russell the shitting queen

Anonymous's picture
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I think that is super nice! You guys trust each other plus pooing and peeing is normal, it is human! Way to go Big Wiper!