Cheetos are made of corn, Corn is the only food that doesn't tranform into poop. It is an alien substance. :P

Yecchhh! As curious as I may be sometimes, I would never intentionally fish out my own turds. I just spent a good deal of time cleaning out my gutters yesterday, and my hands were surounded by unidentifiable manure-scented muck. I didn't know what it was, and didn't care to explore it further. I know what poop is and my curiosity isn't enough for me to fish out turds to further explore their contents. That was almost disturbing. And for me, that's saying a lot. I'd congradulate you, but I don't know if I should.

*Slowly backs away*

Okay, let me get this straight. You voluntarily fished a suspicious looking turd out of the toilet -- with your bare hand -- because you're nearsighted. I've been accused of crossing the line on occasion, but this takes the cake (or the Cheeto).

By the way, I like your writing style. It's your decision making process I wonder about. You should fit in well here at Poopreport. :)

You should have some clever nickname for your morbid curiousity with fecal matter. Unfortunately I'm not clever enough to nickname you.

You should have eaten the cheeto and given your digestive system a second chance. If the cheeto made it through twice, you should enshrine it in a crystal urn on your mantle. It is a magic cheeto.

Who's gonna do the artpad drawign of the cheeto in the turd? artpad.com... somebody get it started!

you crazy stoners!!

*pfffffft* ahhh

Dude, you have a problem. Poo ain't for touchin'.

Not right. You touched poo. You vile sick man. Its a magic cheeto. You should have sold it on ebay.

Hahaha. Well, you all must understand, I was roughly 12 or 13 at the time this happened. Plus, as I said I was in my own bathroom and I washed my hands shortly there after. Hell, a common doorknob has more germs on it than a toilet seat. At any rate, I'm still alive! Thanks for the kind words about the article!

THIS WAS ONE OF THE MOST STUPID AND BORING STORIES I HAVE WASTED MY TIME READING. WHO IN THE HELL LET THIS PIECE OF SHIT BE POSTED? WOW GOOD JOB...YEA F%$#ING RIGHT...WTF!

Keep the comments coming Smurf. Pretty funny stuff.

Ratsit. Cool. You must have some powerful curiosity to spur you into picking the cheeto out of your crud. I'm with the Surgeon General: You already dug it out, should have gone the extra scientific step and re-ate the thing.

I too am a very fast eater. "I aint here to mess around," is my standard answer to why I'm done eating already and no one else has even unfolded their napkin. I don't chew unless I have to, and often poop out mysterious undigested objects. But I have yet to handle any of them.

Good story. A bit pointless, but good.

Ya know...James puked up an entire fry once, played with it a bit, then re-ate it. Quite funny, not the same though...

The mucus encasing the poop mentioned in my story was similar to the mucus that runs from your nose.

Thanks, guys!

For future reference, what's the standard color for assmucus?

The things I do to procrastinate from my art homework...

http://artpad.art.com/gallery/?ii1xqum7utw

Turdmatic -- brilliant! The shading on the turd is spectacular.

Although, Smurf, please stop with the damn caps. It's really annoying.

That was awesome, Turdmatic 6000!

Maybe it was an orange colored condom? No, heheh. Playing with your turds is not good. At least, use a stick or the plunger. If you must use your hands, wear gloves and also get a microscope.

This was one of the most vile stories I've read on PoopReport. I stopped reading after "...I reached in." I don't care how young the author was...when I was FIVE I wouldn't even consider touching my own shit, let alone 13. The author of this steaming pile is a sick pervert.

Enlightening story. Depraved but enlightening.

"The author of this steaming pile is a sick pervert." Aww, you mean it?!

Just so you know, I have also eaten my own shit on several occasions because I thought it smelled good. Have YOU ever eaten shit? I highly suggest you try it.

The above comment was not posted by me.

Okay, okay, I confess, it was, but I didn't want anyone to think me a freak for ingesting my own feces. But really, now that I've thought about it, is there really anything wrong with consuming one's own shit? Dogs do it - it's like dessert to them. Human shit has more of an almond, or perhaps a macadamia flavor to it. I hope you will all take my advice and really consider tasting your poop some time, as I have. It's really quite an experience.

Whatever....

OK I've just eaten a dodgy Big Mac which I reckon comes as close as you're getting to raw sewage... eugh :(

You know.....

It's this kind of thread that I have to click off before my husband sees it and thinks I've lost my mind entirely.

I'm not saying it wasn't interesting to read; it was interesting. Weird. Gross. Interesting, but not the kind of thing I'd go around talking about.

Ew, ew , and ew again. You actually stuck you bare hand into your butt mud to pull out a Cheeto turd. As an old song states "whatever gets you through the night".

I now digress. I have noticed that I have better bowel movements when I eat slower. I don't know the cause, hopefully someone can shed some light on this subject.
_______
A man who farts in church, sits in his own pew.

Wow what is everyone so worried about? You frequent a website about pooping! "thats gross" shouldn't be in your vocabulary. He was in his own bathroom, by himself. He is obviously not OCD when it comes to germs. And he washed his hands when he was done. Nothing gross about it.