Now some poor disabled soul might have to sit atop that putrid hot-winged poopy and grunt out a blackened topping. For shame!

I feel your pain. When I got into my late 30's (I'm 41 now)my body's metabolism slowed down despite excercising 2 hours a day. I got up to 230 lbs and was suffering the same conditions. I always felt bloated, the heartburn was killer and I just felt miserable. I went on a 1000 calorie diet for 3 months and got down to 190 and felt great. However, I too like to cook and the maintenance stage has been a challenge.

Doniker, I feel for ya, man. I'm 29 and I've had 2 kids. Nothing slows your metabolism like pushin' those puppies out. I like the sounds of having regular poops and all... but sheesh, SALAD? I dunno... I'm going to try ex-lax, instead. As for stinking up the handicrapper- fat people have been trying for a long time to have obesity recognized as a physical disability, so I say that your post-christmas puffy body counts as a handicapped body. AND, furthermore, many handicapped people have a personal aid to help them with toileting and such. I say it's not your fault if you left a mess. As a physically challenged person, you can't be expected to clean up after yourself. Take good care, Doniker. I enjoy your poop reports immensely!

I'm 24 and about 5'11". In high school I used to eat whatever I wanted and I was okay. Actually my family shunned fast food and it was a big no no to get it. However I had chips and soda pop like every day but my weight stayed at 145. My body fat was at 12%. This stayed the same until my second year in college.

I got too lazy to cook so I'd get fast foods once in a while and I got up to 160 pounds and gained one inch on my waist. That might not seem like anything significant but I functioned less efficiently. My energy levels were down and I was tired at lot. I have given up fast food for about a year now and I'm feeling better but I still have not lost that weight.

All of you under 20 poop reporters....stay away from fast food! I hope to return to my former self 100% before long but if you have a good body in high school just maintain it. Drink water when you have the urge to eat and it's not time to eat. You will thank yourself later and your skin will be clear.

What they don't tell teens about skin acne is that when your water levels go down your body recyles "poop water" and hence there are troubles.

Doniker, you are not alone. Your story sounds all too familuar. I, too, went on a diet after bloating up to 265 (I'm 6'2) and it was great! However, maintaining is a whole different story. You think to yourself, "Well, I lost all that weight. One cookie won't hurt!" Then that 1 cookie turns to 5 then you start to slack a little more and before you know it...you're back where you started! I too enjoyed the regularity while I was eating right.

I'll make a deal with ya. I'll go on the diet with ya so your not alone. It always helps to have support (and I don't mean a bra for our floppy man-tits). Keep me posted!

One thing I also noticed about dieting is that it is important to lay off the beer, but NOT because of the calories in the beer, a Lite beer has 96 calories and no fat.

MY PROBLEM is I drink Lite beer, get buzzed, get hungry and say "fuck dieting", and eat something I shouldn't. If I stay sober I stay in control.

Cheers everyone, I am pounding some cold ones as I type this!! Look out !!

Each persons body is "designed" to be able to "handle" a certain amount of calories at a time. Doniker, what you're missing is, excessive calories(regardless of source!) are stored as fat cells. Which means, you can eat all the non-fat crap on the planet thinking you're not going to gain weight, but in reality.....you're gaining fat. Those beers are adding to your "Calorie count(in more ways than one!)" which doesn't help in the fat fight. Excercise, a reasonable diet(I have a problem with this too), and cutting out some of the "empty calories"(i.e. calories with no real nutritional value....soda, beer, etc...) will help you quite a bit. That's a few 100 calories you won't have to burn excercising, putting you way ahead in the game. Good luck man, I enjoy your stories.

Hey Richard, is that your real hair?

Well I have to say that I DID NOT exercise at all during the 5 months it took me to lose that 50 pounds.

I ate my 2000 to 2500 calories of LOW or NO FAT foods daily, but also consumed Lite beer daily.

I also never ate at night.

Before my diet, EVERYDAY I would skip breakfast, go to work and eat cookies, donuts and a gallon of coffee, eat a fast food lunch, go home or to the bar and drink 6 to 10 beers, eat a huge dinner, and then pig out on sweets and/or maybe even make a sandwich or eat leftovers before going to bed. My point is that I would start the day slow and than consume 5000 calories during the 2 hours before bedtime which added to my then enormous gut.

GLAD YOU LIKE MY STORIES "richard simmons" and "Justa Girl" and anyone else. Thanks, I appreciate your support!!!

Now, not sounding like a fat coach or anything, had you excercised along with that regiment, you would have lost 75 lbs! The key is to raise your metabolism and turn your body into a fat burning machine. Excercise will do it, just have to give it a try. So that when you do "cheat(and with any diet you will, God knows I do!)," your metabolism is fast enough to recover(so you can cheat more often and not lose ground). The less you cheat, the more effective excercise is though.

Richard is right. Exercise is crucial if you want your metabolism to stay high. Exercise is also a proven mood elevator.

Fast food will do you in, big time. Its loaded with hydrogenated fat (aka 'trans fats') and that type of fat is an artificial fat that the human body was never designed to metabolize. It fucks up your blood lipids, boosts your cholesterol and promotes more rapid fat storage. On the other hand, omega-3 fats, of the kind found in tuna, salmon and sardines are essential nutrients, and actually cause your metabolism to work at a higher set point--your metabolism speeds up. And they also shift your blood fats in a healthy direction, and can even improve some people's moods if they're depressed. A lot of exciting research findings are coming out about omega-3s.

Its also good to learn the difference between 'low glycemic' and 'high glycemic' carbohydrates. Low GI carbs digest more slowly and dont cause rapid elevation of blood sugar. You feel full much longer. Old fashioned slow cooked oatmeal, pearl barley, and beans are slow acting carbs. High GI carbs digest really fast, cause your blood sugar to zoom high very rapidly, and boost your insulin levels. When your insulin levels are high all the time, your body goes into fat storage mode and your blood pressure and cholesterol climb high. White bread, potatoes, sugar, corn syrup are high GI. And, if you combine high GI carbs with trans fats, you have the worst possible food combo--it packs on the fat, fucks up your metabolism, and keeps your insulin levels high. Worst of all, these fast acting carbs digest really fast, and you get hungry again. There's a great book called The Glucose Revolution by Jennie Brand-Miller that analyses all this. Its well written and based on 20 years of rock-solid no-BS research.

I had to learn all this because diabetes runs in my family and I dont want to get it. I weighed 150 pounds 4 years ago and lost 25 pounds. Ive kept the weight off. And I boosted my good cholesterol from 75 to 114.

If you want some really great info on how to combine diet and exercise, Men's Health magazine is great. They have a good website too at www.menshealth.com

The maintainance part is tough. The thing you have to do, and its easier said than done, is stop thinking in terms of diet and think in terms of life style--how to eat and how to exercise so that you feel happy at the table, and happy in your body. The best exercise is the kind that gives you an immediate boost in your mood--instant pay off, before you even begin losing weight.

Doniker: Sounds like you're getting some excellent support and advice from the pooper's community. I am so proud of your accomplishments. Keep up the good work big fella!

On another note, I think we need to talk about your drinking. It is an issue! Whether you are going to the bar or sitting home alone drinking "6 to 10 beers" tells me that you are hiding some pain. This is your problem Doniker. I urge you to seek professional help. Or simply buy my book, now available at www.amazon.com or the Oprah Book Club.

Dr Phil, get lost.

Food, especially high fat food, is a reliable pleasure. The thing to do is find other reliable pleasures to fill the gap with. People who deprive themselves of pleasure for self righteous reasons end up 'white knuckling.' That isnt a happy way to live and it isnt sustainable, either. You eventually get sick of it and rebel. Key thing to ask is, 'I want to feel better. What can I do, right now, that will make me feel better?'

The real problem with beer and soda pop is that both are the equivalent of liquid bread--ethyl alcohol is a highly concentrated source of calories. IT takes effort to cook and chow down food, but if you're getting most of your liquid from beer, those babies slide down your gullet nice and quick--and the calories add up as fast as a bad credit card balance.

One thing that came up again and again in the Men's Health stories by men who lost weight and kept it off were:

1) commitment to exercise for the rest of one's life

2) eliminate soda pop, reduce intake of beer and make up for it with water. If you cut back on beer, its better to have one or two really great beers than drink a truck load of crappy beer. Quality, not quantity

3) Avoid fast foods

4) Pre-plan for the situations where you're socializing or if you are likely to land in areas where fast food it the only option. We tend to eat more when with other people. Fast food is a diet disaster, but a few fast food places have relatively healhty options. (or you can bring your own lunch)

A lot of the guys who lost and kept off the weight learned to do most of their own cooking. Key thing is having good stuff in the house at all times.

Finally, make key changes gradually. And when you fall off the wagon, dont do a number on yourself. Look at the sitaution and identify where the trap was and how to avoid it next time.

You're a wise person pooperscooper.(There's a phrase I never thought I'd utter!)

What's with all this encouragement bullshit!? Just carve a swastika in yer head and kill somebody after having sex with a bunch of mindless, drugged up hippies!

I'm not wise. I am just an information geek, especially when it comes to diabetes prevention. (I am not a health care professional, just someone with 6 diabetic relatives who doesnt want to get it).

One thing to consider, Doniker is to look at both sides of your family. If you have a lot of relatives with early onset heart disease, high blood pressure and type 2 diabetes, that may be a clue that you've inherited a metabolic profile called 'insulin resistance.' Lots of people have it. It gives a huge survival advantage in famine conditions because you burn calories very slowly (like a car that can get 100 miles to a gallon) and if you eat high carb/high fat food, you store the calories way more efficiently than someone without IR. Scientists have termed this 'thrifty gene.' A diabetes educator described this to a class of newly diagnosed diabetics. An older guy listened very intently and said, 'My God, so that's why I didnt lose weight when I was in the prison camp.'

After uttering this show stopper remark, the man explained that he was captured with some buddies during World War II and spent a long time in a POW camp on limited rations. 'When we were released, all the other guys looked like skeletons. I was pretty thin, but didnt look emaciated the way they did, yet we all had the same diet. I always wondered about that.' After years of living in high calorie, affluent USA, this metabolic profile that gave the man such an advantage as a POW gave him diabetes.

My father, uncle and grandmother all survived famine conditions in Russia after the revolution. Later on, they all became diabetics. Tons of people have emigrated to the US because they were starving at home, so thrifty gene is common here.

So, if any of us here at PR have lots of early heart disease and diabetes in our families, thats a signal to learn about insulin resistance. Its a treacherous condition because it can set you up for aggressive heart disease long before you develop diabetes. If you adjust your diet and stay active, you can offset it, but you have to fight uphill against a very unhealthy culture...

I read but I've never commented until now... fitness has kind of become my hobby on the side.

What they're saying about exercise and sugar is good stuff, but let me kick in a word or two about the exercise.

You don't need to do two hours of exercise a day. This is actually counterproductive. The best thing for fat loss specifically, from personal experience and research, is periods of fairly intense exercise that don't last longer than an hour. Weightlifting is fabulous for this, since it also builds muscle- which eats calories. So, when I want to cut down, I do about a forty-five minute weight workout three times a week, and about fifteen minutes of "interval cardio" (sprint-walk, run up stairs then walk down them, whatever) another three days, and sit on my butt recovering one day. When I'm not actively trying to lose fat, I just do the weights. Combined with dietary improvements, this works astoundingly well, and will keep the fat off much more efficiently than dieting all the time. Between us, I still drink beer and eat cheeseburgers and all the rest yet can still see my abs; I just don't do it all the time, and the exercise lets my body forgive what I do do. I'm not naturally skinny, either.

Odds and ends.... don't obsess about scale numbers. If you're exercising, especially weightlifting, they don't mean much. I gained weight when I started, but my waist got smaller. Other good fat-loss tricks are eating little meals several times a day; they smooth out the insulin spikes Pooperscooper was talking about, and you don't have to be hungry. And NEVER skip breakfast- that meal turns the key in your metabolism for the entire day.

Thanks Pooperscooper & ShyGirl, what you guys said makes alot of sense to me...

For exercise, get a heart rate monitor. I resisted getting one for a long time, though it was just a yuppie gadget, but it changed my life. Shygirl is dead right about the importance of training within aerobic zones. Many people, when they exercise, dont train hard enough, or they train so very hard that they're burning sugar out of their muscles and not training their bodies to burn fat. And weight training makes a huge difference-the more muscle tissue you have have, the higher your metabolism.

Lots of small meals a day are key. And portion control really helps. I'll buy a burrito, eat half of it, and then keep the other half for a late afternoon snack.

Figure out how much protein you need per day, too. Your need for protein goes way up as soon as you become active, and it also helps stabilize insulin levels.

"Many people, when they exercise, dont train hard enough, or they train so very hard that they're burning sugar out of their muscles and not training their bodies to burn fat."

Just as a pretty minor quibble, it's not what you're burning while you exercise that has the biggest effect on overall fat loss, it's what you've done to your metabolism in the process. Technically speaking, you burn the most fat in your sleep, and seventy percent of the calories you consume go to keeping your body temperature maintained. Either way, intense cardio in bursts (and totally anaerobic exercise like weights) seems to have a bigger impact on basal metabolism than constant moderate cardio, even though the latter burns more fat while you do it. (What's really great, I've found, is to break it up into two sessions- once in the morning and once in the afternoon or at night. Keeps the metabolic fires burning high all day long.) Any exercise helps, though, a LOT more than being sedentary.

Pooperscooper is absolutely right about the protein. Your digestion- and therefore insulin spikes- is slowed and moderated by a mix of nutrients; so a meal with protein, fat, carbs, and especially fiber is digested much more slowly and with much less of an insulin spike than one that's mostly carbs.

Heh. I'm 15 and I used to work out regularly. Since I've stopped (I had a personal trainer, which helped make me go) because I'm pretty lazy. I was never fat or anything, and I made really good gains. I started when i was 13 (I think) and weighed about 135 lbs. When I stopped working out with a trainer, I was at about 165 and could bench press about 180 lbs. I was a lot stronger then most of the other kids in my class. I ate crap such as a half gallon of ice-cream in one day and lots of junk food, but being young I have a high metabolism. Since I've stopped, I've noticed significant loss in my endurance, as well as my strength. I now weigh about 173. Oh yeah, I'm 5'8ish I'm glad that I read this post, because now I think I want to eat better and work out again. Well, I'm pretty sure that few if anybody care about what I have to say, but exercise really helps if you want to lose weight.

Kyle, I'm sure you'll find a lot of people want to hear what you have to say. Join the forum and check it out... it's a funny place to spend some time.

As to weight loss... I have read a lot of great shit to use here... In May of 2000 for some unknown reason I started to lose weight rapidly... so rapidly I got scared and went to the doctor. My normal weight since HS has been 165-170, I went down to 133 and looked like an aids victim. After a battery of tests and (to this day) no answers, the doctor told me to drink Ensure like a mad man. She thought I was suffering from stress due to a rough time I was going through. I did... and by Oct (5 months later) I ballooned up to 226. I went from one end of the spectrum to the other. A weight gain of 90 or so lbs. I am 6' and do not carry that kind of weight well. Something in my metabolism has changed... because I cannot burn off fat like I used to. Before if I had a night of drinking and pigging out, I could lose that fat in one good work out. Now it seems everything I eat goes right to my ass. In that short time I noticed my wardrobe became worthless and it was more difficult to reach my ass to wipe. I am down to 198 and really have to watch what I push into my face because now I have to do twice as much exercise to lose half the weight. Fat sucks heavily.., G Ras

I did get all the way back up to 254 in early March 2003, but today I am back down to 246 since i have been trying to eat right again.

I have a question. Why do people's eyes water when they poop?

Wow, this was depressing to read. Today, 6 years since I lost all that weight, I am up to 290+ pounds.

I am a miserable slob.

Hey don't give up big guy. You did it before, you can do it again. If you want my advice, give up the drinking. We do a lot of stupid things when drunk. Fortunately for me overeating wasn't one of them. I had plenty others though. A clear mind will lead to a fit body.

u can do it doniker!