When I was framing houses, the owner of the company would dissappear for 5 minutes after lunch. He would prop a sheet of plywood up against something (a fence, another house), hide behind it and take a crap. He would never tell anyone where he was going, and since we were employees we never asked. One day after lunch the home owners dropped by to see the progress of their new home. Their builder noticed a piece of plywood weighing on the newly built fence. He walked over and yanked the plywood down, to find Ernie half way through a shit. The wife screamed and the owners walked off the site, we rolled up our cable, put the saws and air hammers away and never returned to the house.

Moral of the story, never poop outside without a bathroom buddy.

Since I'm a shameful shitter, I don't crap in publice restrooms anyway.. But, normally, if I'm in a new place, a buddy will go with me to the bathroom. I think it's more a comfort thing. To have something familar in an unfamilar location.

My only participation in something like this has been with my wife when we're out hiking or walking, and one of us has to pee near a trail or street. The other stays out on the trail as a lookout.

And I was the unintended intruder on such a guarded nature pee. I was on a safari ride in South Africa in an open 4x 4 truck, outfitted with tiered seating to accommodate about 12 people. The father of a four-year old boy called up to the driver to ask him to stop so that his son could pee. The boy and his parents climbed down from the upper, rear seating tier and disappeared from view behind the truck. We’ll, I decided I should take advantage of the stop, too. As I came around the rear of the truck I surprised mom, who was sitting down on the rear bumper relieving herself along with the boy. The father was acting as guard, but he had stationed himself on the other rear bumper. So I saw a lot of wild life that day.

i enjoy people watching me shit, as long as they dont watch me wipe. i want to be the only one around when i scrape butt gravy off my ass.

nope, i can't say that i've ever thought of bathroom guarding in such a structured manner...but i have to say that usually if i am accompanied by another female, we are usually in there to pee and make fun of someone that's out at the bar, so someone has to be the "loo lookout " while doing what we gotta do.

OMG that's just too funny

Chris: an excellent illustration of the value of standing guard for privacy purposes in an unusual situation. At the very least, if Ernie, the 'plywood pooper,' had asked one of you to act as a sentinel, the resulting embarrassment would never have taken place. Also: as bad as porta-potties smell and can be, this building site fairly screamed for one so that all of you had someplace to relieve yourselves.

Thanks for the very insightful commentary, Sitting Wiper. You have provided us with many interesting stories over the past year or so, and I'm pleased that some of my articles have caused you to step forward and share with the site.

Chris, I look forward to your further input in 2005. You are a great addition to PR!

Hey, TH, what can I say? Dogs'll do that, fer sure!

Once more The Big Wiper has started off some interesting discussion.

I remember at a boys' camp associated with our church, the toilets (known as 'the lat', short for latrine) were old wooden toilet seats attached to a stand above a trench. We were encouraged to go in pairs. This was partly because we were a bit nervous and shy about the matter, and we could give one another confidence. But another reason was that we needed to steady each other as we climbed onto the seat. It was my best friend I was with, and I have to admit that we enjoyed counting the number of droppings, and the number of sheets of toilet paper we used. A friend who can be a pooping partner, whom you feel really at ease who will not abuse you, is a friend indeed.

When we were older and went on walking and camping holidays, sometimes it was necessary to bare our bums in the countryside. We would stand guard for each other, taking each other's rucksack, and keeping a lookout. But because it was a natural activity which we knew we each did every day, we didn't look away. There was no reason to be ashamed of my friend while he was pooping. He was still my friend. Sometimes we had to squat on sloped ground, which required some acrobatic skills. Sometimes it was more sensible to wipe each other, so that we didn't lose our balance. (Neither of us to do a completely clean wipe standing up - if you don't, when you are doing a lot of walking, you can end up with a very sore butt.) We always carried some tissue, for out bottoms, and some wet wipes, for our hands.

Angry Anus says 'I enjoy people watching me shit, as long as they don't watch me wipe.'

Being seen by that friend, and my own younger brother, never bothered me, and my own young sons often see me.

But by strangers, I would agree, though even then I learned not to be embarrassed. I remember staying in some primitive accommodation once where the urinal and the WC were in the same room.

Unusually for me, I hadn't defecated that morning. In the evening, I cooked myself a meal in this old hostel. I ate it, and then made myself a cup of coffee, and washed up my utensils.

After chatting for about half an hour with other hostellers, I decided to explore where the facilities were. I was now ready to attend to my delayed business.

There was no lock on the door marked 'Gents', and in I went, realising that I might soon have company. How I wished my friend or my brother had been there!

I unbuckled my belt and unzipped, dropped my jeans and sat down. First, I needed a good satisfying pee, and produced a few noisy farts. (I seemed to be weeing for ages and ages!)

I don't like my bottom splashed with strong urine, so I pulled the chain (very primitive, not like the modern handles, but a lot of character about it.)

Now I was ready for the REAL BUSINESS!

I got myself into a comfortable sitting position, clasped my hands and was ready to squeeze. I knew that it was going to be a big evacuation, 26 hours' worth instead of 24 hours'. I also knew that it might be quite smelly, which is often the case if I get out of my normal routine.

Then I heard footsteps, which were getting nearer and nearer. I knew that I was about to provide a sight for sore eyes.

In came a young guy, I should think about 5 years older than I was. 'Hi!' he said. I replied 'Hi'. Then he said 'Do you mind if I have a piss?' 'Go head', I said, and he went over to the urinal.

I decided to wait until he had finished, and with difficulty I held on tight for a few minutes until he had finished and disappeared. Then he washed his hands, and I thought he would go, but he came over and started to talk to me. He was a friendly guy, and I didn't want to offend him.

I wondered what I was going to do, then I said 'Excuse me, but I'm ready to do what I'm sitting here for, and I might be a bit smelly.' 'No problem', he said. 'Mine smells sometimes'.

It was clear that he was going to stay for the whole of the operation, and so I didn't hold on any longer. I think I put on a show. I grunted as I squeezed (normally I don't grunt much), and made as many plops as I could.

When I was sure I had finished I said to him 'I'm ready to wipe my bottom now', thinking he might disappear at this juncture. But he stayed and watched.

Then I pulled my trousers up, pulled the chain again, washed my hands, and we went together to the main part of the building.

A very weird experience, but I was under the age of 20 at the time.

This guy was a real cheap-ass. Those were the days when OSHA would never come out to a site. We wore no hardhats, gloves, harnesses, and had no bathrooms. Which leads to a bunch of other stories that I will have to talk about on the show. Like the time I ate seafood and the next day had to take a watery shit into a newly installed tub a few houses down. The plumers were at lunch and it was either that or infront of the kids in a neighboring school yard. I felt really bad when I found out that the tub did not have the water turned on yet to wash it down the drain. So I just snuck off...

When I was a kid, we always had a Shit Sentry. His name was Ranger, our Labrador/Shepherd mixed mongrel. Our neighborhood gang was an outdoorsy bunch, wandering the fields and streams of central Mississippi from sun-up to sundown especially during the school's out parts of the year. And Ranger guarded our every outdoors shit-droppin' session with enthusiastic zeal. In fact, he wouldn't let anyone anywhere near your pile of poop until he'd gobbled up every last corn-studded turd!

Whoever designed our house had this in mind. In all three bathroom, your lower half is hidden from view from the door by either a partition wall or the sink or counter.

We have our own bathroom guard buddies built in!

This is a topic which is just as familiar to me as it is to TBW. I also had doorless stalls in my schools actually all the way from 1st grade through college.

While this provided some interesting & at times awkward moments, which I won't go into, the concepts for me & my class mates were clearly the same.

I would have to say for me in this social situation in school/college I think the purpose of the guarding was more for social interaction than for the privacy/safety issue. Our school was certainly a safe place, and most of the guys who took craps in the open stalls were pretty comfortable about it.

In fact I can recall one day in the gym in the downstairs bathroom there was a guy, Dave, crapping on the stall next to a wall, and one of my friends, George, was actually standing next to him leaning against the wall talking to him in a very carefree way. His position was such that I guess you could call it guarding, but he was in plain view so that he was not blocked from sight of any one else in the bathroom.

I was always shameless in school/college & most of the times if someone was "guarding" someone else, I would say that it was more for social interaction & I can recall many a very interesting convo that I had with other guys both while I was crapping & vice versa. In fact it even went into a threesome on a couple of occasions, and here you have the concept of male bonding as well as guarding.

Very good topic TBW..

this is an interesting topic, indeed. the only times i ever go to the b-room with a "buddy" are when i want one for safety or privacy. for example, when camping i like to have someone join me in the woods to do my business at night because you never know what kinds of crazies are out there waiting for unsuspecting woodspoopers. the only time i ever ask a girl friend to join me in the b-room (at a bar or whatever) is if i know that there's no lock on the stall door, or no door at all or something like that, and i want someone to make sure no one walks in on me or sees me. oh, but there was this one time i was a party and there was only b-room so there was a long line and my friend went in with me cuz she didn't want to wait. we just took turns and didn't watch each other pee. but that was just for pee. if one of us pooping, i doubt we would've done it. but who knows?

‘Bathroom Guarding‘, has all sorts of benefits in perhaps the 2nd most personal of human activities. It raises deep sociological, philosophical and even theological issues.

My three youngsters accept that the health hazard of 'holding it in' is worse than the embarrassment of being seen by others (and perhaps even greater embarrassment of an ‘accident!).

I have been responsible for our two boys, (and my wife our daughter). Good habits are learned by example and not by training. For us boys to see one another sitting with our trousers round our ankles when we are doing other activities associated with the bathroom is regarded as a fact of life.

But over the last two years I have taught my older son - now aged 9 - that there will be occasions when away from home that he cannot be have the same security, and must GO if he has the urge if there is an opportunity.

He and some of his friends at school and at church stand guard for one another should the situation arise. Fortunately, his morning routine is so good that he rarely sits on a school toilet, but stands guard for friends quite often. If staying overnight at other people's houses, he sits on their toilet, rather than waiting until he gets home.

Admittedly, these are all safe environments, and another stage later or on is to learn that all environments are NOT safe (and clean), but you have to make the most of it.

Having a friend as a guard can be real quality time. For me, except when very small, TBW, it has been 'gender specific' (I HATED women’s involvement!).

It can also be very practical, as when camping and hiking with my teenage friend in the UK and in Europe. In rural areas a buddy can watch and listen for anybody, especially women, approaching, and assist you in awkward positioning, without any feeling that you have lost your dignity.

I mentioned earlier (28 December) that sometimes we squatted on sloped ground. I emailed that best friend with what I put and he emailed me about other things, (he is too much of a coward to write anything himself - he knows I’m going to say that!)

We sat over a SECURE horizontal branch of a tree or a long log (the other kind!) making sure that our butt-hole was positioned at the back and that everything dropped to the ground below, away from our trousers. With difficulty sometimes, but just about making it, we ensured that our penises were pointed well forward in the direction we wanted, if they wanted to contribute to the entertainment at the same time as our bottoms - they frequently did. When we got down we had to make sure we didn't step into what had just left our body. Once I sat on an old disused gate, where it was obvious that the track behind it hadn't been open for years, and my pal followed me. A companion can be worth his weight in gold. And we helped one another with wiping in that situation. While normally a ’sitting wiper’, in these situations we usually stood, especially if we needed to wipe each other when on a slope. Then we gently separated the cheeks before inserting the paper. I already had quite a lot of experience, from a few years before, when I wiped my little brother when he stood up after finishing his business on his potty. Doing that for a friend, and letting him do it for you, is a sign of deep friendship. It's over 14 years since we have done it for each other, but our friendship for each other, and between our families, continues.

i hate typos and have this overwhelming urge to correct them when i make them, so that sentence up there should be:
but there was this one time i was at a party and there was only one b-room.....
and then:
if one of us was pooping...

I get kind of a scared, woozy feeling reading Sitting Wiper's posts...

Poo-Pee - fine! PoopReport.com is subtitled 'The Intellectual Appreciation of Poop Humor'. It caters for all tastes (sorry about that last word, but I can think of no other). If what I write offends you, please don't read it. I don't read all the material which others write, and what I do read, I don't always agree with.

I am a liberal, and maintain the rights of those who disagree with me to express their views. What is right for me, probably isn't for other people, but we can all learn from each other as part of humanity.

I think one of the reasons Sitting Wiper's posts have such a powerful effect is that such frank and open discussion of bodily functions in our Western culture is generally not encouraged and in some circles--even frowned upon as a necessary evil.

But PoopReport takes a different approach and allows people to step forward and reveal a part of their lives that they may never have had the chance to verbalize before.

Here's something I've pointed out before on this site, but it bears repeating. For some people, the only time to talk as frankly as Sitting Wiper has about bodily function aspects, is when they are potty training their children. The only time they may have been talked to that frankly was during their own potty training as well.

During potty training, it is not viewed as improper to discuss bowel movements or draining the bladder or wiping techniques. Trainees are applauded for paying attention and good work. Shame is almost never brought into the equation. The trainee is encouraged to relax and be relaxed around his trainers.

The goal, of course, is to produce someone who can seamlessly dispose of their body waste. Sitting Wiper's attitude reflects this ease and lack of shame, but once potty training has been completed, some people shut down further contemplation of the subject in any form other than, "I have to go!"

And some are told that further preoccupation with bodily functions is wrong and/or ill-advised. Sitting Wiper projects an ethic in which that is not the case, and I find it all very refreshing to read, as my many posts and articles on this site might suggest to you.

Thanks again for your input, Sitting Wiper.

Well, I'm touched by almost all of what you report, Sitting Wiper, even the wiping of one another when you where children. But to continue that into adulthood and view it as a "sign of deep friendship" does cause this mind to boggle. I've known mothers who continue breast feeding their children until they're walking and talking -- sign of deep love? I would guess it is this aspect of your liberated repertoire that makes Poo-Pee a little woozy.

It was only done in our late teens, more out of necessity than anything else, but it was part of our friendship - nothing gay or anything like that. We are both now happily married with families, but sometimes we reminisce about the past. It was nearly 17 years ago!

I to find it somewhat disturbing that men in their teens would wipe one another's asses I hike quite often with friends and also my husband and I am quite capable of wiping my own ass as are they. I think the only way I would even consider having a friend or even my husband wipe my ass would be if i physically could not because I was hurt or ill.

When this mutual wiping took place - 4 times during a three week holiday in Southern Europe - we were only 18, and now we are 35. It was between school and university. Some days we were sleeping rough, several days without a shower. Not having clean butts can cause soreness when walking. Squatting in steep gradients can be hazardous. The only way we thought was to stand up and let the other wipe. Neither of us ever found it easy to clean ourselves properly with a stand up wipe. It was even more important to be clean in these circumstances than in 'civilisation', where there were opportunities for showers.

Surely two teenage boys should be commended for the care they showed for one another.

Since then, the only bottoms we have wiped apart from our own have been small children up to the age of 3!

My friend Dominic and I have been reading some of these forums for the first time for a number of weeks. We were quite upset at the criticisms by some people to the story of the two boys who wiped one another when on a hiking holiday many years ago when it seemed the right thing to do. Dominic said to me 'We would have done the same for each other, wouldn't we Jonny?'

But in the forum 'Shameful Until The Morphine' nobody saw anything wrong in the contributor who was disappointed that the poor guy on the floor wasn't wallowing in his own excrement.

At a time when thousands have been killed in the Tsunami disaster, and we children in our village are trying to organise fund-raising, there are some writers on PoopReport are very unsensitive and selfish.

Dear Bare-Cheek John: So you and Dominic, because you also would be willing to wipe one another’s asses on a hike through the woods, are model humans, and more sensitive to the loss from the recent Tsunami, while me, Jen and Poo-pee, because we would raise the possibility that there might be something a little odd about adults wiping one another when it wasn’t absolutely necessary and also didn’t object to other, unrelated, postings on another story, are lower human forms who probably don’t give a hoot about the loss of 140,000 lives? Have I got that about right?

Dear Bare-Cheek Jon,

After sending my last message, I finally noticed the “we children” in your post. I then did a search to find in your other posts that you are about 14 years old, or so. You express yourself very well for your age, better than most adults do.

Had a known your were 14, I would have responded quite differently. I first would have acknowledged the efforts of you and your mates in raising funds for the victims in south Asia. It is hard to make sense of adults carrying on with silly things like this web site when so many are suffering. I don’t really know how to explain it, but I’ve found it important to keep at the routine aspects of my life even in the midst of tragedies. I, too, have been very upset by this tragedy, and have found ways, as you have, to contribute to the relief effort. By the way, it is risky as an adult to announce things like that without sounding self-righteous, and this is largely why I responded to your message as I first did.

So please forgive my quick and unthinking response. And I hope my question about the appropriateness of adults wiping one another doesn’t lead you to question your own feelings about it. Though I myself couldn’t do what you and Dominic could, part of me wishes I could.

Best wishes -- Logjam

um...i didn't see the whole morphine thing until u mentioned it but anyway i'm not trying to put anyone down i'm just stating my opinion...by all means wipe whoesever ass u want...to each his own right? Oh and i'm not insensitive an selfish...DAMN IT!!!!

Most children and teenagers do things which they would not do as adults. My friend and I were very serious really, very church-orientated as our families were. We never smoked or participated in illicit drug taking, and never drank alcohol to excess. We were very studious, and did well in our degree courses at our different universities, where we met girls whom we eventually married. We were rather boring actually, and mutual wiping was the most outrageous thing we did.

We never swore, and are bringing up our children in the same way. You will find that in PoopReport I use euphemisms for bodily actions. Our children are discouraged from using direct words, and in fact our older boy has devised a list of euphemisms for the different bodily actions.

The only person who knew about that mutual activity apart from ourselves is my younger brother. He always maintains that had he and I been in the same situation, we would have been prepared to do it for each other. We never had to, but I did teach him how to squat in the countryside.

If two teenage boys never did anything worse than wipe each other’s bottoms, the world would be a better place.

Bare-Cheek Jon and his friend Dominic seem to have the same attitudes as we had, and still do have.

i was on a day trip with my boyfriends family and we had stoped at a home of someone i didnt know and i had to go pee really bad so i had ased my bf mom to see where the washroom was, the home owners replyed down the hall and to the left as i proceeded down the hall i nothiced my bf mom was comming with me, i thought ok she wants to make sure i find it ok, or she has to go to, as i walked into the bathroom she followed me in, it was strange i thought but i didnt say much, and i sat to pee, and so i prceeded and finished and turned to wash my hands as i was washing i heard his mother start to pee i though ok she had to go too, as i stood their washing my hands i smeeled a awful odor, worse than anthing i had ever smelt. i soon knew she was having a #2 and started farting so loudly, im sure the whole house heard, i decided sice i did not want to know this woman quite this well i would quickly leave so no other person would hear or smell the horrific situation i was in. As i put my hand on the knob to leave she say no wait for me till im done, i didnt want to be rude to my bf mom so i stood there trying to overt my eyes from the middle aged woman sitting on the toilet in the reflection of the mirror, she proceeded to tell me about childhood poop stories about my bf, between her awful farting and grunting. i was never so glad to get out of a situation as i was to get out of that one. poop guarding is one thing, being forced to do it is another!

Sitting wiper,

Enjoyed your story about the boy who refused to go away while you pooped. You do know many peple enjoy watching others poop. It's a big turn-on for some.

Once on new year's eve me and about 5 of my friends were in town just wondering around when one of them said he had to pee. Every bath room for 4 blocks were full so we all made a circle around him on a small patch of grass then just as he started to pee we all casualy walked away he was so embarassed and it was quite funny until he got done for indecent exposure and we had to go bail him!

Just want to let you guys know that I enjoy reading your stories and and even the clonflict re: wiping others asses. I laughed my ass off when I got to Jen's post, "by all means, wipe whosever ass you want" One thing for sure, everyone is here because they have some kind of interest in the poop scene. Whether that be just bathroom humor, or it goes deeper to watching others on the pooper or even enjoy the company of others during your own poop. I myself had a poop buddy in high school as we had doorless stalls. But I didn't need my buddy present to offer privicy, it was a social thing and we both enjoyed watching and doing for each other.

I really enjoy watching my friends when they shit. It feels good when i take a shit in front of a friend. It is a real male-bonding experiance. All the friends i shit with have become like brothers to me because of it.

Maybe you could get some t-shirts printed up and create a secret handshake.
_______
Santa Caca!

I don't like even my closest friends around when I shit. We all totally acknowledge that we do it and when we do it, but I can't go if someone else might be in the room. I guess I'm Enlightened Shameful or something.

_______
Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

I'm not a shameful shitter in any way. However, I have a problem with people watching me shit. It's just not an activity I wish to share, aside from making a few comments while closed in the stall.

_______
Don't question authority. It doesn't know either.

I've actually here recently grown accustomed to an audience. i just recently got this new home, and in the master bedroom the master bath is open to the bedroom, there is no door, while laying on my bed, u can see he toilet in plain view, and seeing as how i have 3 other roomates my friends and i hang out in my room thus, when my friends are over and we are hanging out, eventually u go infront of others. Expecially if your like me and have IBS and you tend to go very often. Guys and Girls alike we have no secrets with each other anymore

I too have done the safety guard for my kids in public restrooms.

Last summer, I was headed to the toilet in the London Gatwick Airport, when I heard a mother admonishing her son - looked to be about 10 years old - "...do you business, wash your hands, don't let anybody near you, don't even let them look at you."

I told her she sounded like my mother.

I am all for safeguarding children, while they are in the restroom.

Though I am not shameful, I don't think I could shit while someone is watching me. Unless it is someone really close to me.

Other than that, spectators need not apply.
_______
"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

If you gotta shit in public like that, have your buddy set up a ticket booth and sell admission.

(Sorry, when it comes to crapping, I'm a Lone Wolf. On the other hand, I sometimes take a dump with my son in the bathroom. It was just meant as a lesson in "How to Dump". Hopefully he won't be scarred for life.)

It's well over 2 years since my self-imposed website from this thread.

Deja Poo: Good for you! Like you, I think that teaching on these matters is best done by showing, not telling.

I don't think your son is scarred for life if you have taught your son how to dump by your own example, unless you have abused him, and I am sure you haven't. When my wife and I were looking at websites on 'potty training' a few years ago, it was obvious how few dads got involved with the training of boys.

I will write a bit more on this subject, if I am allowed to crawl out of the woodwork of our toilet seat.