I think the hardest thing about homeless is eating..or buying groceries and keeping it cold/edible. As for shitting and showers...I was at the beach once in Wilmington, NC...2 hours from where i live. I was all full of sand and had to dump a load. This was during the summer, so I just went to UNCW's athletic facility...went into the shower area and did my business..I think i could survive homeless as well, except for the food...I need to have my midnight snacks.

It's a gift

I suspect that many people have been homeless at one time,,,,,although very few women. Women cannot go without warm running water, a comfortable toilet, and central air.

Women generally always opt for security, and men sometimes take risks that make little sense to others.

Which explains why most women vote democratic, and a majority of men vote conservative. The democratic platform promises security, and the conservative......self-reliance.

Gosh, C Everett, you pulled off both ignorant, judgmental AND arbitrary in a single post! Congrats!

If you lived in a van for a year, you sir, are a dirtbag, despite your lame lie about being educated and living in a nice house (now)

Dear Dr. Van Poop:

Thank you for an informative insight into your homeless experience.

Years ago I lived in a tree house for about 9 months while working a construction job in southern Illinois. I had the same type of experiences as you, but only had a bicycle for transportation most of the time, and a Corvair for the long trips.

Southern Illinois in 1969 provided lots of social interaction with a variety of folks, good hunting, fishing, and recreation, a great climate, and other amenities for the temporarily "homeless" experience. It was a good experience producing no regrets.

Peace, TH.

Wow shawnstjames. Way to wax poo-litical. I never realized the corelation between homeless shitting and politics.

Damnit, I thought I was going to be the first to mention the Chris Farley SNL episode!

Anyway, the story of living in a van sounds intriguing. By living in a van, one could be a modern nomad.

Pooping in a van....DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!!!

Homelessness is not funny, but pooping is. Pooping on the homeless is never funny, but a homeless guy pooping on me will earn him in the neighborhood of $25. First post rules.

Here I sit all frustreated and down
The blazing fire in my ass was just a fraud
Thought id sacrifice to the porcelain god something nice and brown
But all i had to offer was some GWOD.

First post RULES!!

DAMMMITTTTT!!!!!

Why would you go homeless? And on purpose?

WOW, an interesting story for once! Dr. Van Poop:
What kind of van?

I wish you could teach your techniques to the bums who sleep outside my workplace. Not a week goes by that I don't see at least one heaping, steamy pile in the middle of the walkway, leading up to our station.

My BF was homeless for several months. It started as planned idea, where living on a tent in the beach would save TONS of money. Unfortunately, cops and homeless people would harrass him, so he started sleeping in his truck. He'd park at a beach park, and take a shower and dress in the morning and go into work! Funny, he always had a job when he was homeless!! Being at a beach park, he had the luxury of toilets until they either closed for the night or threw him out.

This reminds me of the time I was returning to my condo (in Chicago) via the back alley, where I witnessed a bum shitting in the lot next to mine. This by itself isn't terribly noteworthy, but what got me was that he was shitting STANDING UP! Bent over at the waist, legs straight, with a loose stream of shit landing just behind his shoes. I have asked friends who are pro outdoor shitters about this and none have heard of this unorthodox technique. Perhaps this guy knows things we do not.

Ramshackle...that was me, I had on a clown costume where my legs were my feet and my feet were my legs...you see, I was actually throwing up after drinking all the beer out of your fridge, then when walking out of your condo, I saw a pic of your GF AKA Dookie Dog. I lost it and had to barf.

that "technique" was actually a result of brain damage and convenience. When you match those two, you get all sorts of strange behavior::::

Shawn St. James has never run into me in a dark alley. Hehehehehe. Seriously, between said big dog and protection devices, I do not require a man to protect me, I just happen to really like my husband. I may like Democrats because they are not ruining the environment or insisting on talking animals off the endangered species list so they can kill them and have MORE cattle in this country. Yes, I was less water, more waste in my rivers, depleted fauna, and over 80 percent of my antibiotics to go to livestock because I cannot eat a vegetable.

All the time I read this story, while I'm trying to be interested in what he said, I kept on seeing Chris Farley in my mind doing his "I LIVE IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER" skit. That's so sad, because this was pretty cool to read on the second time around.

I hate Jewel. I think she lived in the van just to say she did and so she could profit from the experience.

I apologize for my political rant.

Oh poop. I meant "on taking animals off"

not "talking animals off".

And, I meant "I want more water" not "I was more water"
Great post. I should just use a crayon to scribble something on a napkin and tape it to my screen next time!

Daphne... Arent you suppose to be an editor?
Editor Daphne...Now THATS an oxymoron!!

I would love to have a political debate sometime. Since you ranted here, we should do the chatroom to let me rant. Otherwise, Dave will delete me.

The one thing about homelessness I could never fathom: why would a homeless person stay in a cold area such as NYC or Detroit during the winter? Go south during the winter. Key West has a huge homeless problem and likely because of the warm weather. In my opinion that beats a sewer grate in a cold northern metropolitan area.

Gee Chuck, you got it all figured out doncha, dude? Maybe you should be a consultant to the homeless. Or better yet, maybe you can tote them all down south a carload at a time in your SUV.

Peace in the Packtrain. TH.

There's my real e-mail just so you won't think your listening to a talking head. Being true-ly homeless is not having anything to sleep in, having a vehicle is a luxury many people sleep in their vehicles, try taking a shit in the bushes outside when your crippled with cancer or aides, got hep c or can't walk at all and your in a wheelchair, try wiping your ass, I'm not talking for me but for others sleeping in a van, an R.V. even camping in a tent, aient homeless, wanna impress me with your homeless crap story tell me about shitting in the rain, sleet, snow, Of course it's not hard being homeless in a van, gimmie a break!

Yeah, that's right dookie dog - and what about the starving children in Africa? Huh? How are they supposed to take a crap when they have nothing to crap with? Huh? Hu... e.. What the FUCK are you talking about??? This site is meant to entertain ("humorous appreciation of poop") not impress people with how miserable someone is! Idiot.
Dr. Van Poop: great story

P.s. Being homeless is not always a choice, and Deuce Fan is my girl friend we met in prison and he was the one on the bottom..........

Shit Reaper....just because you have blue balls, dont poop on people's opinions. This site can mean diff things to diff people.. the only idiots are those who try to supress opinions. Dont be knocking on DD

BTW, your moms a whore...i know cuz she banged nasties with dookie dog.

I don't think it's funny to be homeless some yuppie fuck in a van or R.V. might but I don't sorry if I ruinned your entertainment, no I'm not you blow!!!

When my mom kicked me out of her house a couple years ago when I dropped out of school, I had nowhere else to go because my dad was unable to financially support somebody else because his disability compensation was too little.

For the next six weeks after being kicked out I took the route of a homeless bum, living under a bridge at night was rather peaceful and surprising that there wasn't anymore bums down there. I wouldn't classify myself as a full fledged bum though, I had $125 in a bank account to feed myself with. For bathroom purposes though I always had a roll of TP handy in my backpack, because there's nothing worse than dingleberries - I'd usually pop a squat by the bay or in some bushes nearby. I'd bathe in the bay, and get an actual shower once a week at a campground a few miles away. I had two sets of clothes, which I'd wear for a week and then change and go wash the dirty ones at a laundromat.

Eventually my dad got a boost in his pension and agreed to take me in, and how glad I was to be able to take a hot bath after 6 weeks of being homeless.

You can be "homeless" with a vehicle, yes... But real homelessness, in my opinion, means you sleep wherever you CAN sleep - in the woods, under a bridge, in a box, at the bus station on a bench... A close friend of mine is in this situation. Bad credit and a bad job market equals no job (he's been looking for well over a year, applying everywhere possible) and cannot afford a vehicle. Occasionally he'll crash on my floor, on the rare occasion that my roomie is away, but otherwise he's out on the street. His mom's new hubby hates him - can't stay there. His dad hates that he's not of his dad's religion - won't let him stay there. Homelessness, at least up here, is very close to being criminal. By this I mean loitering - sleeping in public - is a crime, and that is often what one must do. Setting up camp in the woods is also considered criminal, since most of the wooded areas that are anywhere near civilization are owned by private owners or by the city. And in case anyone asks...yes, the police here DO take frequent walks in the wooded areas, checking for squatters and moving them out. Being truly homeless is, for many people, not easy, not fun, and not interesting. It is difficult and sometimes dangerous. Most of my friends tell him to "Just get a job" or "just get a car". They make it sound so easy...as though he COULD easily do one or both of those but is CHOOSING not to for some reason. That's just sad...

hey, Deuce Fan weren't you the one to comment on Daphne's story and how inappropriate it was for this website (the one about fireflies and feelings, LOL (Hi, Daphne)) - you don't know wtf you're talking about you mongrel mutt
p.s. - my balls aren't blue (thanks to your dead mother)

I am not a mongrel mutt... im a retarded bitch.

BTW, i didnt have a mother...im test tube baby. That explains my cone head.
Kisses

Good responses,,,but my point was to refute the illogical "reporting" of media sources that indicate that if you are homeless you are a helpless victim with no alternatives.
....You can buy a crappy car in this country for 2-500 dollars.
...and anyone can get a job. Perhaps poor paying, but enough to buy a car to live in temporarily!!
....
So my main point is that the "living under a bridge"...thing, long term,,,is for losers. It takes the barest amount of effort to survive "homeless" in a relatively comfortable situation.

Living in a van is merely difficult. There are certainly worse things that can happen to you.

I concur with your point that by only using a bit of human intelligence one can avoid the dangerous and sufferable aspects of true homelessness.

hmHM, but crapping in cups? *barfs* makes you think,

Take Heed, although my observation may seem simplistic there is a practical side to staying in warm climates. Frostbite is not good. That was my point. Now if you want pontification I can oblige. If a person is mentally ill and homeless, the best thing for them could be an institution. That would likely save their life. Mentally stable homeless people can resort to possibly finding a job, living with family, living with roommates, other practical means of relying on self and/or on a close reference group. Beyond that inner sanctum there are many charitable groups and shelters whose only stipulation is no drug use.

oh o.k. shit reaper and dr. van poop, I will just walk out my door here go down the street by the tracks and tell this homesless fella that's dying of cancer that anyone can buy a car for 2-500, dollars and he's a loser cause he's homeless yea right you guys are losers.

Sorry for my preaching but I was bored tonight. Pride and reputation seems, to me, very big in the minds of people. Dr., you were left with a van and, no doubt, a skillful mind of survival. You took that opportunity to still live a safe homeless life. Now, you take pride in knowing you are a survivor of homelessness, and you lived it well. I guess you wouldn’t consider yourself a “loser.” But, there are people that lose everything. No place to go but the streets, nothing to eat but garbage. I guess these are the “losers” of the world. I agree with that to a point. The mentally challenged, of course, and the drug addicts are exceptions to me. But, I believe there is a reason they never change from losers to, I guess you’d call them, “winners.” Pride has conditioned us to fix the problems in our lives ourselves that would seem un-normal to others. Making us an embarrassment when we seek real help. Drug addicts can go into rehab but think it wouldn’t help and they can change without it. They can’t change their past, so there are stuck with a disease. Mentally challenged people, depending on the disease, believe the same thing. The ones that throw away their pride are the smart ones. But the pride disease can be stronger in the people that don’t find help. The one’s left on the street will never get jobs. Both because some may think they don’t need to try and get a job, because of the embarrassment of not getting hired; and, the image (pride) of a company/employer will not except them. Not to mention if they are black. Even though I did mention it; but, that’s another subject. Anyway, they have to reduce themselves to asking for change on the street. Which can’t get you enough for a car because most people don’t give to the homeless. When they do get money, the first thing you think of is food, not a car. There is no point in getting a car when you are dangerously thinning. Also, you said “I cannot imagine being really homeless out on the streets.” If you do not believe you can live that way, why label the people that do as “losers.” If they are surviving that kind of life, they are more of a survivor then you. Yet you call them “losers” which belittles them. Well I guess I’m done. I’m all preached out.

oh and people with health diseases like dookie dog said.

Sheesh, haven't you heard of the "Free Store Foodbank," newpooper? In the neighborhood I work in, there are two of them closeby that I know of. Key words there, "Free," and "Food." I know what goes on there. I've volunteered. Say it with me now, "FREE FOOD." If people are starving, they can go there. Pretty cut and dry. As a college finance professor once told me, "nobody's starving." The only reason someone starves is because they choose to.

And if a homeless shelter is willing to give you a place to stay warm and sleep, with the exception of "no drugs," here's an idea - Stop taking the fucking drugs! I know thats easier said than done, but if I've got the choice of a five-minute high followed by huddling around a heating vent just to have some other bum steal my shoes in the middle of the night, or having a warm, dry place to sleep and maybe even bathe, I'm going with the latter. All that bullshit about drugs, alcoholism and addiction being a disease is all bullshit. Its a choice. You choose to drink, shoot up, or snort. No one owes you a damn thing over the choices you make in your life.

Point is - Anyone can survive and thrive if they want to. You just have to get off your ass and do something about your situation, and not wait around for the government to write you a check, and give you a pat on the back.

Sorry to get all political, its just how I feel.

hahhaaha people with "health diseases"?? LOL. Hey, newpooper, so what other kinds of diseases are there? Jee-sus where do all these recent morons are coming from?

The problem with addiction is that the craving overrides the rest of the minds ability to function. Some alcoholics are better off drinking because they are unmanageable dickheads when they don't drink.

And mental health problems... Who choses them? How does somebody chose to not be a 'tard since they were dropped several times when they were little. How does a paranoid schizophrenic choose not to have the very real feeling of being chased by pink ninja elephants with lasers.

Hey don't joke about those fucking pink ninja elephants with lasers. They know where you live. And those bitches can fight.

So Chuck:

What exactly is your point? Should all homeless people move south? Or should they stay in shelters at their current locations? Should we as a society provide adequate mental health care for those of the homeless whose mental conditions prevent them from making these vital decisions on their own?

I guess what I got from your first post was that the homeless should somehow have the economic and mental capabilities to up and move south. But your second post seems to indicate you have a deeper understanding of the homeless quandry. Please share more of your keen insights with us, Chuck.

Peace in the Land of Prosperity. TH.

uh oh. I've awakened him. hehh... I guess I was wrong suspecting "the real kenny" to be doniker (I only did so because of his insulting sick disgusting comments)
Oh, and "dry but not too humid" is an oxymoron (Daphne!) as "dry" and "humid" are two mutually exclusive terms

i was wondering that isnt toothpaste a little to thick to shave with?

Joking aside, my sister lived in her car for six months. It wasn't a van, it was a rusty old Datsun with a bent fender. I always wondered how she took a shit. Now I'll have to call her up and ask.

This is a very educational work. Something like Henry David Thoreau's "Walden".

And now that you have conviced me that being homeless is OK I'm going to start voting Republican.

I was homeless once for a few weeks so I set up a tent at a campground where I had toilets and showers. I worked then so I had an alarm clock in the tent. We are all homeless at times, sometimes by choice like on vacation. You can camp in the woods then or rent a motel room but you are still homeless when you are away from home. This kind of homeless is diferent than out in the street. Its the fun way to be homeless because its nice to get away from home sometimes.

Deuce Fan,

I am not an editor. But, I did edit myself properly. I am trying to be a writer.

Sigh.

Editor Daphne is not an oxymoron. Military intelligence is.

Van Poop, if it's so very easy, I'd like you to come visit me up here in WA state and find my friend a job. He'll take any job you can get him. Trust me, he's been trying for over a year, hasn't even been able to get a grunt-work job like janatorial service. Even Labor-Ready, the (local?) chain of temp labor offices, has been a bust - he's spent day after day sitting in the lobby, he's on the list but they just never seem to get him anything to do.

He's tried the shelters. I saw the very carefully detailed list he made to prove to a mutual friend that he wasn't lying: We have shelters for people with kids. Shelters for women of all ages. Shelters for vets. Shelters for people under 18. Shelters for men over 40. But the only shelter in the city that takes people his age and gender is very small and the lines form fast. If he doesn't make it in on any given night, he's got a problem to face: He's in the very worst part of our downtown, and the buses aren't running that late. True, he MIGHT get in, but chances are very slim. That's ONE SMALL SHELTER that'll take his age/gender group.

Why would anyone want to be homeless in New York in the winter? Just go down south! Or, where I live, just go down to Cali! It's quite easy, just buy a bus ticket. Right? What do you do if you can't AFFORD a bus ticket? Same for the comment about a cheap car for two to five hundred dollars. Tell that to someone who can't get TEN dollars. My friend is not lazy, or just not trying very hard... In my humble opinion, the reason many people insist on believing that homeless people are just "lazy" and "prefer handouts" is partly because they know that if they spend a few moments of thought on how many people out there have no jobs or homes, it'll end up being not only an emotional burden they don't want, but also an indicator that maybe they're the ones who need to help those who cannot help themselves. It's much easier to relax and think "Yep... I've got it good. I'm a hard worker, and I work for what I have. Those homeless people could, too, but they have to be willing to work. But no...they LIKE being lazy. They're the problem". No matter where this debate goes from here, though I may read it, I won't respond. In my opinion, it is very sad that many people would rather imagine that the homeless are themselves the problem. True, some of them are: Some like handouts. Some enjoy their drugs. Some like feeling "free" of responsibility, and enjoy being "lazy". But many do not and, given a job, would happily take it and try to better themselves.

One last comment: If Van Poop or others respond to this by getting defensive, I will guess that I have hit a very tender spot. The people out there that I believe "put on a happy face" and do anything possible to avoid the reality that they must be part of the solution (not all, but part: the homeless need to be willing to take the offered jobs, which again I think many are) react defensively to such accusations because they are afraid of being exposed. "That's not true at all! And here is a carefully-explained rebuttal" tells me someone is being honest. "Thay's not true! They DON'T want help! They LIKE being Lazy! All of them!" or "Bullshit! It's so easy to get a job/car/place to live, they just LIKE their situation!" or "If they could just "give up" their drugs" (anyone here tried to give up hard drugs? I doubt it's anything close to easy)just confirms my opinion: You're afraid that if you don't cover the problems around you with reasons that they're other people's responsibility and that you have no good reason to think about them, you'll get very upset. Take all the problems around us, think about them,. and freakin' PITCH IN AND HELP!! It's not difficult to help in SOME small way.

Jake:

Amen, brother. There (homeless) but for good fortune go I (and the rest of us smug, middle class bastards). And if G'Dumb gets reelected, the Cheney Posse will have us all closer to homeless D-day with the peril of toxic pollution hanging over our streets, parks, and national preserves.

Peace in the Proletariat. TH.

Daph:

I'm not an editor either, but I spent the night at Holiday Inn Express!

Peace. TH.

Daphne, what is your beef with military intelligence?

Count:

I don't think Daph has a beef with MI, I just think she poked fun at it as an oxymoron ... kinda like a local disc jockey who calls himself Rusty Sharpe. You know, like if his name were Shiney Dull.

TH.

How can daphne have a beef about something that never existed in the first place?

C Everett Poop, you're wrong. Regular, intelligent people can wind up homeless. At least some of them eventually rejoin the 'normal' world and become successful. When I was in college, I was homeless for a short while. My parents had paid my tuition, but did not provide me with any living expenses. My job 'raising money for the environment' through a group called US PIRG turned out to be a scam. When payday rolled around, we were paid $75 for a month of 70 hour weeks instead of the $500 per week we were promised. I didn't have it nearly as bad as most homeless people because I could use bathrooms on campus and occasionally sleep at a friend's house. But the really tough part was getting another job when I didn't have a home (no money for a van and no drivers license either). You can't let the prospective employer know that you're homeless or you'll never get hired. Having clean clothes, being able to shave and shower and generally look presentable. That's tough to do with limited bathroom access. And you have to keep doing it until you have enough money for a place to live. I fed myself by scrounging coins out of fountains in city parks at odd hours.

6 years later I have a family, I own my own house and part of a very successful business. I have an IRA, 3 cars and am essentially living the American dream even though I was forced to drop out of college in order work enough to afford food and housing.

Homelessness can happen to all kinds of different people. Most of us can be success stories if we are given the opportunity to work. How many people here had some help gettng their first apartment? Did you live with family while you saved up a deposit? Lived with your parents and had a place to shower while you hunted for your first job? There are perfectly intelligent, hardworking people who do not have that headstart that you did. Funny how most of the conservatives who rail against the homeless and the poor had their first car, apartment, education and often job handed to them by their parents. So much for 'personal responsibility.'

Thank you TH and Shit Volcano for the answers! I think I will try to field this one, though.

I have a problem with the military because of quite a few reasons.

We had lead infested housing in Fort Knox, which the army said it couldn't fix, but then spent 10 million, that's right, 10 million dollars changing from green hats to black berets, which was a travesty.
The rangers work hard for their black berets, and I adore them. They shouldn't have had to change their hats.

And, now, the army is in the process of changing again, because they are changing their uniforms to this cool, Elf cloak grey, because some smartie finally figured out after, oh, twenty years, that we don't fight in the jungle anymore. We fight in mostly urban settings. Duh. Got that understood, do we?
Now, we'll spend more money changing hats.
Oh, and they are already in the process of changing that you don't have to wear the stupid beret in the motor pool, because it's incredibly hot and doesn't stay on. It was a stupid, fucking idea, a waste of money, and it could have been nice to see it go somewhere else.

That's only one thing.

OOoh, the housing, wait. One more. Finally, after ten years, someone said NO to the idiots on an unnamed post who wanted to spend another 10 million on the general's and officer's quarters, while the enlisted ones were literally falling apart. Now, mind you, there are considerably more children in the enlisted quarter's areas. Pomp and circumstance, elite pampering, and all that jazz have no place in the military whatsoever. We can't afford for that 10 percent get such good treatment when kids from a staff seargent's house are getting sick on mold in the walls. Don't you have to agree that's dumb?

I also hate that when I had trouble in housing that I used the military's own housing regulations to argue a case about someone living illegaly next to us, who wasn't married, and abusing the kids, and the army did not care because we weren't high ranking enough.

I hate that the army lied to me about my son's lead level.

I hate that the army lied about my daughter's food poisoning coming from post.

I hate that the army does not give new recruits a mandatory financial class, becuase they waste millions of dollars a year giving out loans to idiots who spend the entire paycheck on booze, then their family needs assistance to get groceries.

I hate that all the things I mentioned above could be fixed, to the army's benefit, for moral and financial strain, but the military will not admit half of it is a problem.

Basically, I was making the oxymoron statement because the US military is too big to be functional at times, the world's largest corporation, I think. I'm sure that my safety is due to them, but I am not going to give that it looses vast respect and moneys in areas that they don't deem important but are. The military is made of of millions of men and women with families who cannot take the strain of a twenty year career being treated like crap when they come home to a housing unit,(and, by the way, you cannot always live off post. in many posts, you must live on post if there is housing available, because they want your BAQ allowance kicked back to them) that is substandard, falling apart, and is situated next to some asshole who can blare his stereo because the MP's are told not to waste time on such things. NO, sleep is not important to a soldier!

Well, then, the military should not allow married men and women with families to join, like Russia, because they cannot properly handle the strain. That is why I say military intelligence is an oxymoron. I think it is because the military seems to have absolutely no common sense in areas that directly affect the moral of the troups.

OK, I'm done.

Oh, I'm not.

I agree with Brown Seymore. It's entirely too easy to lose everything, especially if you happen to live paycheck to paycheck.

As much as I may hate what the Army has done to us, I am grateful for the paycheck, and I will continue to exploit that commissary and its prices for the remainder of my cranky life.

Jake: I've gotta respond to you....if you're such a god damned bleeding heart who wants to fix all the wrongs in the world....why the HELL do you have a friend that is homeless?? Your last sentence is to pitch in a help! Give your friend a fucking couch to sleep on, asswipe! Then he wouldn't be homeless.

Don't you get up there and preach to me. If I had a friend who was homeless and needed help, I WOULD HELP! In fact, I did. I gave him a home and helped him catch up on bills and helped him find a job. He's not doing great, but he's no longer homeless. He's getting by paycheck by paycheck, just like most people do in my state.

*applause*

Homeless? Need a job? Here's a simple quest... Get out of the city with your pen in one hand and the other held out, get to the rural parts, find a few farmers at a feed store / donut shop and ask around. I was homeless, lost everything. Everything. I went to a horse ranch and had a barn to sleep in and a job to do. I worked up to a bunk house, truck, steady check and credibility. Now, I'm very successful. I didn't wait around at a temp service or beg for jobs with head hung low. No! I got up, WALKED to the outside of town and found a way. I've said it before and I'll say it again... A job is the easiest thing to find if you really want one.
Just a thought.

Hmm..

I wonder if there is a method of psychological conditioning to make people get out of denial, get over emotional baggage, and accept jobs that are far from ideal.

dork, I'm alot like you.

Second, though, here's one for all of you!!! Today, on the way to the big city (I'm a hick) we saw a very pretty, blond pregnant woman sitting on the edge of the highway exit with a sign that "Young and pregnant and so hungry".

I have to say this.

I have seen beggars with gold chains. I've seen them looking for work right by a place with a help wanted sign. This one topped it off for me. I don't think she was mental. And, the topper is that pregnant by the highway, she could have been abducted or something.

The reason it got to me is that when I was pregnant with Thomas, waiting to be shipped overseas with Kurt, I bartended at Chi-Chi's (I was the bar trainer) for over 30 hours a week. I worked until one night I reached over head to get a glass and my stomache knocked all four blenders off the rack. I had to either hand in the two weeks or hostess, and if I hostessed, one of the girls with less seniority would lose her job. I worked all the way to seven months, I loved it, and I would have never begged.

Craptain skid is onto something. Not with the actual mentally ill, but with alot of people who just won't work. I wonder, would anyone hire a pregger girl? They would have to. It's the law. Just thought I'd contribute this.

People without jobs ARE trapped by their inability to "lower" themselves to unpleasant or low-paying jobs. My friend was homeless and jobless, but he would rather sit at Labor Ready and possibly have a hard labor job for the week instead of delivering pizza. I used to manage a Domino's, and trust me, on good days, those drivers can take home $100+ in tips. But he was 30, and couldn't "lower" himself to what he saw as a stupid teenage fast food job. Whatever. There are MANY people out there who hit a certain age where sleeping in a box is somehow more appealing than being trained to flip burgers by a 15 year old. Trust me, there is work out there, plenty of it. It might not be pleasant or something to be "proud" of, but dammit, its work and money.

And I do understand that a very large portion of homeless people are mentally unstable. We need to bring back the institutionalized mental hospitals, where these people were cared for and not allowed to roam the streets putting themselves and others in danger.

Yea maybe we can make solient green out of the mentally ill and feed them to the homeless at the shelters.

it is sad

My solution is complex, but it may solve numerous problems. I wanted to get into the minds of super-motivated people that are never feeling down, even if they lose all their stuff. Then I want to do the same nerological things to the un-motivated and constantly depressed people.

soylent green is.....PEOPLE!!!!

Well I knew it was gonna happen it always does I stick my neck out trying to convience people that the homeless are people too then one of them has to do something to piss me off, ha,ha,ha. Tonight I saw a homeless guy acting kinda weird on the neighbors porch I kept walking when I came back he left a calling card, and as usual I cleaned it up. People seem to think I'm liberal a bleeding heart sort, I guess I am in a way. I spent many years homeless most of it as a child, as an adult I took people in hundreds and I spent thousands of dollars on them and I did this because people gave me a chance, I was paying back what was freely given to me. I don't do it anymore though take people in there's shelters for that, but I will still buy someone a burger if their hungry, even Deuce Fan................

Awesome stories about you people who were homeless. I've never been "homeless" as in living outside of a house / apartment but I have lived out of my suitcase and lived in stupid conditions for long peroids of time. God bless u people!

Check out this song about eating poop called "Dookie Balls are Edible" at www.cornmind.com

Dr. Van Poop
I really like your courage to write and tell everyone who desired to know about your time liveing in a van.

I lived in my 1984 plymouth voyager for four years. I went everywhere with a backpack and always managed to fill up the 3(3 liter bottles)with water I carried with me at libraries, gas stations etc. to take a shower with and cook with when I got back to my van. I used an inflatable kiddie pool to catch the water from my homemade shower rig that I kneeled down in (This way I was able to keep my bung hole shiny clean at all times. I shaved with a battery opperated rotary shaver and lived on a diet of barley, rice, cow peas, dried peas and lentils. I spent about $250 a year on food that I bought from the feed store. Sometimes I look back and think how great my life was. When your stress levels are so low and you have (financial) peace of mind. (No bills or responsibilities)I savored every meal I prepared and slept like a baby every time the rain would fall on my van tin roof. Thoreau's (Walden) was lived to the word and reading it while living in my van just made it that much more enjoyable. Every year that passed, I became more efecient in the way I was able to plan structure and organize my "Van Life" People found it hard to believe that I lived in a van They expected a stereo typed dirty bum rather than a reasonable looking somewhat handsome guy(Ha ha) Now I pay a mortgage, work long hours, and turned into a fool who bought in to the system. I have no time for myself. I worry about job security, and have this 30 year mortgage staring at me everyday of my life. If this is considered to be successful, and "making it" Then somewhere along the line I missed the point. I sold out on myself and to Thoreau's way of thinking. I feel more shame as person with a home than being a so called "homeless person" I worried how other people would think of me. I was afraid of being judged as a homeless person and a loser. The real loser I know now is the person writing this post for not being man enough to look at my friends and family and say." You're wrong. Can't you see where this mortgage, credit cards and bills thing is getting you" It's amazing how little you need to be truly happy and content. Time and knowledge are the alternatives to money. Time and knowledge will turn a junk van into a fine dependable just like new van. Time and knowledge will turn, broken computers, dvd players cell phones etc. all into just like new appliances. There's very little that time and knowledge won't give you. We as people have become so accustomed to just buy rather than think for anything we want. As Ayn Rand said, "It's easier to pay than to think." If you're still living in your van, stay there. Don't cross the line and come over to the mortgage and bills side. Take my word for it. It's miserable over here. You're better off in a van.

Okay
First off Great post; My whole family lived in campgrounds for six months win I was a kid. homelessness gave me some of my best childhood memories. Yes I know we weren't drug addicts crippled or mental.
Second All of you poopers that think it is so hard beeing homeless in America need to get out and see the world. Try going to the Philippines. There you can have a good job and an education and still live in a cardboard shack. There it is truly difficult to be homeless. Funny there are even poorer countries with lots less opportunity than PI.
Once you have traveled outside the US you loose some sympathy for the homeless here. It is part of our culture and heritage to want to help the less fortunate (though not all of us do it). That is why we were the first country to invent child labor laws soup kitchens and all kinds of charitable organizations. We are not like Arabia, India, or China. Most Americans believe you can make it here if you have the talent or at least will power. That is still why every one wants to move here.
There is no good reason for being homeless in this country for more than a few months other than personal choice. Just go to Goodwill and look at all the so called mentally ill or hanicaped people that work there.
My point is: sure it can be tough here but we have it better than any other country in the world even if you are a retard.

poop Happy

Great post! I love that I can 'google' "pooping in a van" & come up with this site!! :))) I'll be heading out for the winter in my van in a few weeks & will think of you with a smile as I'm taking advantage of some of your suggestions. :)
as for this post - "Women cannot go without warm running water, a comfortable toilet, and central air." - my months of sleeping on cement floors with the mice, ice cold bucket baths for 3 months in the Himalayas, squat toilets/no paper, & no 'central air'/ no HEAT in the mts. came screaming back to me - with all the joy & pleasure I had when I was experiencing it!
Judge yourself, honey - not the rest of us.

Not being judgmental at all, amma, just curious as to why you might be googling "pooping in a van"??? We all have our strange stories as to how we discovered PR, yours sounds interesting to say the least.