Today I had an interesting conversation with a close friend of mine. She's Jewish. She's a Holocaust survivor. She has a great sense of humor. But she is not religious at all. My friend mentioned that one of her girlfriends (also not religious) had a new boyfriend. And the new boyfriend is a very religious Orthodox Jewish guy. So, because of her new boyfriend's influence, her friend has totally changed. Her friend now observes the Sabbath to the letter with her boyfriend. "She even tears the sheets of toilet paper before sundown on Friday night!" my friend exclaimed.
What???
My friend explained that Orthodox Jewish people observe a law that forbids them to cut or tear paper in any way on the Sabbath. The Sabbath is from sundown Friday night to sundown Saturday night. So: they cannot tear toilet paper for twenty-four hours!
She further explained that many religious Jewish people tear toilet paper into ready-to-wipe sheets before sundown on Friday, and place the sheets "on stand-by" in the bathroom.
As a PoopReporter, I had to ask: what if someone got the runs on the Sabbath and the pre-made stockpile of toilet paper was exhausted with one or two wild poops? My friend said she had no idea what they would do for more toilet paper.
Then I wondered further. How do Orthodox Jewish families estimate how much toilet paper needs to be torn and made ready for family pooping (and peeing, for the females) for twenty-four hours? Is there a mathematical formula? I've Googled and found no answers to these arcane queries. I guess I'd have to ask an Orthodox Rabbi... one who'd be willing to entertain this question.
Interestingly, Googling revealed that in Israel, one can buy toilet paper in individual sheets for Sabbath use. I imagine it would be like buying a pack of regular TP, but already cut into serving size. I also saw advice to use a box of facial tissues like Kleenex for wiping, because the tissues are pre-cut. That way, no Sabbath laws would be broken.
-- Crapola, a lapsed Catholic
P.S. In the Catholic grammar school I attended, the toilet paper was the kind where you pulled little folded sheets out of a rectangular dispenser hanging on the stall wall. Maybe this kind of toilet paper would work for Orthodox Jews, too! Maybe a decorative container/dispenser that would hold a whole case of the sheets -- enough to deal with any twenty-four hour onslaught. Bye -- I'm off to trademark the idea!
Editor's Note: I found this explanation of Orthodox Sabbath beliefs on Beliefnet:
"It is widely known that "work" is forbidden on Shabbat, but as with so much of Jewish law, the truth is more nuanced than that. Jewish law books lay out 39 tasks that are forbidden on Shabbat, from lighting a fire to using a hammer to spending money. From there, the many restrictions of Shabbat are derived, by analogy and comparison. In modern times, rabbis have used, for instance, the prohibition against lighting a fire to outlaw electricity. They have also restricted driving on Shabbat.
"The intention is to create a day of peace, removed from the worries of everyday life, when Jews can focus on their religious lives, their families, and their communities. Jews typically keep Shabbat by praying in synagogue Friday night and Saturday morning (many attend Saturday afternoon and evening services as well) and eating large, traditional meals with friends and family."
-- from Beliefnet
