Women Peeing Standing

// // 227 Comments
l 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
0
0

Any of you ladies here on PoopReport will no doubt be familiar with the
Raunchy Restroom problem. You're at a concert or a club, or even out hiking,
and suddenly the need to pee arises (as it is wont to do, from time to time).

So you exit the dance floor in search of the ladies' room, and you're
confronted with a horror of a choice: the stall where someone obviously was
having technical problems with their pissing equipment (because there's a
mess all over the toilet seat), or the toilet with the broken flush that
people have continued to use, and use, and use... practically to overflowing.

It's not a pretty sight, and not a pleasant concept even to bandy about in casual
conversation. However, it's an all too common problem.

So you're faced with three equally unsatisfactory choices: attempting to
eliminate the mess; trying to hold it in until you find a better bathroom;
or working out those gluteal muscles and squatting so that your rear is just
hovering over the toilet.

These choices all suck. But luckily for us
ladyfolk, more than one enterprising soul has devised a handheld gadget
which would enable a woman to PEE STANDING UP.








The TravelMate, from The Woman's Guide On How To Pee Standing.





As a woman, I
acknowledge that learning how to pee standing is certainly something that
would come in handy on a number of occasions, and would be rather impressive
to boot.

That's why I'm relieved (heh) to have discovered
The Woman's Guide On How To Pee Standing.
They offer advice on two methods -- the natural way ("The Finger-assist Method") and the easier way ("The TravelMate-assist Method").
According to them, both methods are PRACTICAL -- "No more
hovering over filthy toilet seats or getting poison ivy on your bum!" VERSATILE -- "There is the 'device-assisted' method and the 'device-free' method." And last but not least, IMPRESSIVE -- "Amaze yourself and your
friends."

If that's not enough to convince you that women should pee
standing, read the accolades heaped upon the TravelMate device. One woman
from Long Island states, "I can stand up and pee outside with the best of
them now."

I'd probably be willing to use the
device in desperate circumstances, but I'm not sure I really want to picture it
being used. Too late, though -- the site contains a far-too-
graphic depiction of a woman making use of the TravelMate. I really didn't
need to see how "Brenda 'pees through the fly' using a TravelMate." I think
I'm going to have nightmares, after I stop rolling on the floor laughing.








The disposable P-Mate.






But watch out, TravelMate -- because you've got a
competitor. Cleverly named,
The P-Mate is a paper device
specially shaped to enable a woman to pee into a narrow vase,
or a nasty toilet, or out in the woods where the Pope does his business.

To
be honest, I think it's a pretty good idea, and the P-Mate has the advantage
of being disposable (at least I hope it is -- eww. I'm not putting it back into
my bag, that's for sure).

So men beware, because next time there's a line
for the ladies' room, we might be invading the men's room. Though, from what
I've heard, I don't want to go in there ever.

227 Comments on "Women Peeing Standing"

Towering Twyla's picture

I agree with Gertrude. School toilets are filthy in schools because of the few that stand and squat. Few do it well and the splashes and other neglect cause the problem. First of all, I lift the seat. Second, my butt is within a half inch of the bowl rim. Third, I flush so if the next user is a hard shitter, my piss is not going to be splashed onto the seat.

By the way, I also shit from the same position and have since I was in middle school.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

So AC, you are shopping at Macy's and your girlfriend feels the urge so you drop to your knees to enjoy her golden nectar. Do you go in from the back, or front? If from the back are you distracted by her asshole's smell? Are the other shoppers entertained? So many questions!


_______
Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous Coward's picture

My girlfriend never has to worry about finding a place to pee since I enjoy drinking her urine. UM UM Good!

I <3 peeing upright's picture

My boyfriend finds it sexy that i can pee standing up and purposely comes in while i pee to watch before we have sex he is aroused and the sex is good but its kinda disturbing

Andanism's picture

@Dan
Women are so anal about leaving the seat up because number one, it's rude, we shouldn't have to put it down for you, I'm sure you're a big boy and can do it yourself, and number two, sometimes in the middle if the night when you're half asleep, you may not notice that the seat is not down.
Falling in is a very rude awakening.

Otherwise, it just makes the bathroom look bad when you walk in there and the toilet seat's up.

sd5's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I'm going to try the finger method for the first time tonight. Kinda worried I'll get pee on my fingers though, but I guess I'll get better with practice. It'll be cool to be able to pee like a man!

Anonymous Coward's picture

You should go for it, my wife has been using the finger assist method for years, its cool using the urinal!

Gertrude's picture

I want to try to pee standing, but im to scared to use the finger assist method at school when the toilets r filthy Should i squat or try and see what happens? please help me!

Anonymous Coward's picture

I saw my mom peeing one day, it was first thing in the morning and she walked past my bedroom door, which was open, naked from the waist down and entered the bathroom. I made the excuse of putting the kettle on(kitchen was near bathroom) and when I walked past she was squat standing having a pee and saw the pee leaving her pussy which was bald it was also open as she had spread her pussy lips.
I love watching women peeing, any age over 18 of course.

Anonymous person's picture

this was a horribe article

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Dear AC, You will be able to answer that question yourself in a few years when you are old enough to see an actual pussy.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous Coward's picture

do all women spread their pussy lips when they pee?

Holger's picture

If a woman is naked or wear a skirt, it is surely no prblem for her, peeing by standing. But what is the matter, if she wears a pair of trousers? If she open her zip,the urine is coming in the slip normally, or a woman is a specialist in peeing. Want to see pics, where I can have the counter.proof.

Anonymous Coward's picture

I want to pee quickly, cleanly, discretely and conveniently so standing works for me. I can use three methods: 1. The finger method. It does NOT require more muscle strength. It's all about learning how much to spread the lips and where to angle the hips. 2. Device. I carry around the P-style which is reusable (get over it! pee is sterile) -- http://www.thepstyle.com/ and also disposable p-mate -- http://www.pmateusa.com/. They work great and I can zip in and out of a public bathroom. I'm not sitting in some other girl's pee. My pants aren't dropped on the floor of a filthy public bathroom. And it's quick. With either method, I can also aim in a toilet so the pee doesn't hit the water just the side right above the water, therefore no splash back! This also lets me pee anywhere like on the side of the road on long drives, on hikes, etc. without baring my butt to the world. No hunting for a public restroom that's disgusting anyway. Also, with these methods, generally there are few or no drips so you don't need toilet paper. In can also pee completely standing up over a toilet. Just stand up, raise up your skirt a bit (more if it's a longer skirt), or lower your shorts/pants, lean forward, and the pee goes straight down. You won't believe it until you try it.

Whoever decided that women should pee sitting down was made a big mistake. Standing up is the way to go.

I think poo is really gross so sorry everyone on this site. I do that sitting down, inside on a toilet, except when I'm camping. But I'm a wild and crazy girl who pees standing up, outside, too. To each his own.

Anonymous Coward's picture

that is hilarious, imagine getting mad at them for pissing all over the seat...LOL the tables will be turned

Alex Fender's picture

Jody (not verified) -- 12.27.2007

Jody Foster?

Rockchic's picture

im a high school girl who just started pissing while standing. it is quiet hard to judge where your piss hole is and where to put your fingers but after a while it becomes easier. i dont have to wipe my vagina just the occasional drip on my inner thighs when you dont push hard enough at the end or forget to stop abrutly.
this is how i do it (in trousers):
1) choose destination to piss and go there (toilet/sink/shower/bath/bush/etc}
2) pull down trousers to about knee - you may want to go lower for toilet or higher for sink or bush
3) depending on chosen piss destanation either pull down pants to height of trousers or pull to the side out of the way of the vagina
3) create an upside down V with your index and middle finger and gently seperate the flaps of skin around the vagina - you may choose to place your thumb under the tip of the skin flaps for more control
4) aim at piss destination and use your fingers to push or pull as needed to guide your piss into or onto the destination
5) piss being careful not to piss to fast (it may cause splash back) and remember to keep a steady but strong flow through it
6) when you feel you have done stop abrutly
7) wipe yourself if you feel you have to (i dont) and pull up your pants and trousers
8) remember to wash your hands

if anyone has any advice for me or tips on the best places to have a piss plesase leave me a comment :D

Rockchic xx

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points

Far too much information

Anonymous Coward's picture

As a female, I think it would be way easier to pee standing up. GUys have it easy. THey just whip it and go, but us girls have it hard

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Yeh, PD, you mispelled hornies.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

I had a car tailgating me yesterday. All I saw in my mirror was a pair of horns. Did I spell something wrong?

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

I saw you yesterday Daphne. Did you see me wave half way?
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

P.S.... Mullet...

Spelling Nazi.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

Sorry, Bilge. I missed an a!

If, when you see me in the rear view mirror of your car, I'm missing my arm, or leg, or half of my head, pretend you don't notice. It's better that way....


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

I'm not completely sure if BM's comment was supposed to be funny...but it's 12:45 am here, so I may be missing something obvious...
_______
The Original Grasshopper

The Original Grasshopper

Blind Mullet's picture
k 500+ points

Ooohh!!
Gorn! Upím, daph!!
He's havin' a go at your typo!!
US translation: Go on, get up him, i.e. put him in his place; chastise him; he's mocking your typographical error.
*giggles like a schoolboy*
_______
The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Daph, what's "triva"? Is that the new "tolet"?
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Thanks for clearing that up Daphne...demons seem to also use rather poor syntax in their writing. Well....I'm off to the tolet to flog my whanker till it bleeds while pretending to be smart. Retirement is boring.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

Actually, many demonologists have written that demons are known to be intelligent in some ways but are notoriously bad spellers. It has something to do with the fact that they are imperfect and therefore must be incomplete in both body and mind.

That was your totally worthless triva for the day.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Shows how much you know there Beelzebub. I just checked my wanker and it's not bloody.

A little drippy, but not bloody.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Well Satan.....You certainly scared the shit out of me, I always thought that fallen archangels were better spellers and wrote more sensibly.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

ah, thanks for clearing that up, Satan...uh...what are Tolets? Genius. No wonder you got cast out.


_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

SATAN!'s picture

I think the good doctor ment Tolets, Bilgepump I don't think its any of your bloody business where Dr. WHO got a degree from, or is it your call if he can write his name in snow! What bunch of bloody wankers! another Penn and Teller web site how nice more Bull Shit! to read from people that think their smart but they are not in any way or form.

Quote: In life we all live once and in death their is no after world or heaven but their is a hell, so party to die because their is no beer after death in hell.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Dr. WHO?...HMPFF. Lets see you write your name in the snow. Let's see you arc one into the urinal from 10 feet. Can you do that? I think not!

Dogginberg Esq.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Dr. what are "tolits"???
Where is your Doctorate from? The University of Bottomofacrackerjackbox, perhaps?

_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Dr. WHO?'s picture

Just to let everyone know that pee is not dirty at all and is very clean. Also the travel pee-mate can be washed out after every use. Also I have seen many women and girls pee standing up all my life its nothing new. Women have been standing and peeing long before tolits came about from roman pluming. I think every woman should stand and go pee hell if a guy can do it then a woman can, men are no better then women are.

PeeStandingWoman!!!'s picture

I pee standing up - I'm a girl. Its easy. Get your legs round the toilet and point your vagina

the incredible pee's picture

@ kileymalia:
Sure, keep trying and getting better. I've seen Internet posts from many women who were discouraged at first when learning to pee standing, but kept trying and eventually got much better at it - some women actually learned to pee through the fly of pants, with no assistance from artificial devices needed!

kileymalia's picture
m 1+ points - Newb


_______
kileymalia!!! ive tried its funny funny stuff. when i tried peed myself it least in shower. should i try again

Sarro____93

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

I might lose my balance while peeing standing up. Then what? Fall in pee, no thank you.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Bran Lover!!! Bran Lover, we are going to learn how to pee standing. Chief! Thanks! Bran Lover, we have a job!!!
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

standing anon.....Congratulations, you have been selected by the Doggin/Thunderbutt Institute of Skidology to take place in a research project. Our staff of highly trained individuals will be over tomorrow to observe this finger assisted peeing method. We will bring our own sandwiches for lunch so you don't have to go to any trouble on our behalf.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Chief, I'm smelling a DTI research project here.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

standing anon.....I am intrigued by your comment, can I watch? Do you get piddle on the finger you use? Do you wash the finger before you make your BF a sandwich? So many questions!!


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

standing anon's picture

i use the finger assist method and i am better at aim than most boys. i am going to continue peeing standing up.

anonoumsly wierd 's picture

it is possible in other ways to pee standing up. grab the back of your pants and pull them up past your vagina. and then you can just let it go. try practicing at home first

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Peeing in the" sink"(lavatory) is unsanitary. The "sink" drain will start STINKING like old male pee after long term use. I don't want to brush my teeth over a pee sink. Do you? Now I did it in college out of sheer necessity, but I sure wouldn't do it in my own bathrooms. Once that pee smell gets stuck in a bathroom, only a flood can wash it out. This is a true story.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Anonymous Coward's picture

I too have found it difficult to try to use the above mentioned products, but I grew a liking to the Whiz Easy.

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points

To each their own !

Laura Smith's picture

Hiya all

I tend to stay up most of the night at weekends, playing online. My Mum would call me a naughty girl, but what she don't know wont hurt her. The problem is, no matter how many supplies I take in to my room, she will know I am awake if I come out to pee. I have tried knocking on the bathroom door evertime someone is in the loo/bathroom saying, hurry up it's time for me to get in the shower (this looks funny if I have already had a shower that day) based on 'WhyUseAToiletWhenGrassWillDo!' sugestion, but when I broached a shower pad in my room, I was told 'well see!', so that does not sound promising :(

I have on several occasions peed out of the bedroom window, because there is only a few foot drop with me being on the ground floor. I even did a poo out of it last night, because it is straight into the roses and I just scooped some soil over it this morning. It's my patch of garden there anyway.

With it now being the early hours of the morning, I have decided (having read this site a few times before) to bite the bullet and try a wee wee forward. I would jump out the window, but I will scatch my self (and possibly stand in my poo) trying to climb back in!

At least I have a lock on the door, because my room used to be the bathroom (ironicly) until they swapped, because my disabled sister is getting big, but stil thiner then me! Damn bitch, lol (only joking, I love her really).

She gets all the fun, even though she is fully compus mentus she has NAPPIES for if there is no one to help her onto the loo (I can do it, but she does not think I am big and string enough for her to trust me) and she just puts them on by sliding down her jogging bottoms/panties, puts her elbows on her arm rest and pushes up with her feet as best she can. She did it the other day behind the shed in our garden, and did not even flinch when a neighbour came into the garden! She may have got straight A's in her GCSE's but I don't think she has grasped the subject of 'exhibitionism', unless she has and wants to be one?, lol.

I will wait until I have done it before I post so that I can give once the deed is done so to speak ;)

UPDATE:
I suppose this was not really peeing standing up because I was knelt on the chest of draws by the window sill. I tried to use my hand to hold the nighty up and aim, but after one splash I had a wet nighty and wee on the sill and down the back of the draws :( Hope it don't smell, oops

I took the nighty off (so I was naked bay my socks) and this was better because I could support myself with one hand on the wall and the other on the job itself. Over all a good field test, and I will try again.

Luara

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