Women Peeing Standing
Any of you ladies here on PoopReport will no doubt be familiar with the
Raunchy Restroom problem. You're at a concert or a club, or even out hiking,
and suddenly the need to pee arises (as it is wont to do, from time to time).
So you exit the dance floor in search of the ladies' room, and you're
confronted with a horror of a choice: the stall where someone obviously was
having technical problems with their pissing equipment (because there's a
mess all over the toilet seat), or the toilet with the broken flush that
people have continued to use, and use, and use... practically to overflowing.
It's not a pretty sight, and not a pleasant concept even to bandy about in casual
conversation. However, it's an all too common problem.
So you're faced with three equally unsatisfactory choices: attempting to
eliminate the mess; trying to hold it in until you find a better bathroom;
or working out those gluteal muscles and squatting so that your rear is just
hovering over the toilet.
These choices all suck. But luckily for us
ladyfolk, more than one enterprising soul has devised a handheld gadget
which would enable a woman to PEE STANDING UP.
The TravelMate, from The Woman's Guide On How To Pee Standing.
As a woman, I
acknowledge that learning how to pee standing is certainly something that
would come in handy on a number of occasions, and would be rather impressive
That's why I'm relieved (heh) to have discovered
The Woman's Guide On How To Pee Standing.
They offer advice on two methods -- the natural way ("The Finger-assist Method") and the easier way ("The TravelMate-assist Method").
According to them, both methods are PRACTICAL -- "No more
hovering over filthy toilet seats or getting poison ivy on your bum!" VERSATILE -- "There is the 'device-assisted' method and the 'device-free' method." And last but not least, IMPRESSIVE -- "Amaze yourself and your
If that's not enough to convince you that women should pee
standing, read the accolades heaped upon the TravelMate device. One woman
from Long Island states, "I can stand up and pee outside with the best of
I'd probably be willing to use the
device in desperate circumstances, but I'm not sure I really want to picture it
being used. Too late, though -- the site contains a far-too-
graphic depiction of a woman making use of the TravelMate. I really didn't
need to see how "Brenda 'pees through the fly' using a TravelMate." I think
I'm going to have nightmares, after I stop rolling on the floor laughing.
The disposable P-Mate.
But watch out, TravelMate -- because you've got a
competitor. Cleverly named,
The P-Mate is a paper device
specially shaped to enable a woman to pee into a narrow vase,
or a nasty toilet, or out in the woods where the Pope does his business.
be honest, I think it's a pretty good idea, and the P-Mate has the advantage
of being disposable (at least I hope it is -- eww. I'm not putting it back into
my bag, that's for sure).
So men beware, because next time there's a line
for the ladies' room, we might be invading the men's room. Though, from what
I've heard, I don't want to go in there ever.