For me, the toilet paper must be hanging from the front of the roll. For me, it is easier to find the beginning of the roll if that first sheet is stuck to the roll. When I wipe, I take about 5 or 6 sheets , fold, and wipe. I need not wrap the paper around my hand as I don't plan on having my entire fist up there. Crumbling is just a mess. When you crumble your finger is more likely to find a direct passage to your anus, and unwelcome shock for sure. Smelly, painful, embarassing. And when I wipe I don't stay seated, nor do I stand. I hover. I lean forward, lift my arese about 5 inches from the bowl and wipe with my neatly folded paper, dispensed from the front of the roll. Oh, but I do flush the toilet using my mouth. That may be considered odd.

I fold, then crumple. What's interesting is that I was taught as a kid to stand when I wipe. I was taught that only girls wipe sitting. But as I grew older, I realized it was simply more efficient to wipe while sitting. I always felt like I was going to the bathroom wrong if I didn't stand to wipe. But why would you want to stand? Your cheeks get all bunched up, increasing the probability of a nasty smear.

I use a variation of "the bunch" called "wadding". Wadding is basically unrolling around a foot or two of paper, rolling AND then bunching it. You form a nice "wad" that can be held 'twixt the thumb and first two fingers. As for the wipe itself, I'm as close to sitting as I can be for maximum expansion. I wipe "up", meaning I start at what would be the bottom of the "great divide" if one was standing erect. I've heard legends of people who wipe "down", which perplexes me. Does that not create a dingle-meets-love-organ-of-choice problem?

As for roll configuration, I demand "over the top", even to the point where I'll fix it if I find it that way in bathrooms outside my own. As for you "behind the sun" people: How could you? The roll is *designed* to be "over the top". Must you defy the best practices of modern humanity in every aspect of your lives? Mother of Creatures!

I wrap the paper around my hand and THEN withdraw my hand. It is very quick and efficient.

Due to my t.p. holder getting ripped off the wall during a party (along with my towel rack) my t.p. sits atop the toilet tank. I like the fold method while sitting. Ive tried the other ways and this seems the easiest.

well, being the oddball that I am, I have to have the toilet paper facing DOWN, and like jaybowel, I always fix it this way whenever i see it placed incorrectly .. I cannot fathom using toilet paper "the normal way" because rules are made to be broken you know .. another reason i do this is so that its a lot easier to pull out a big huge line of paper, rather than it beign positioned in the front, risking it to break mid-way through pulling on it, soto speak. I grab it by the masses, roll it around my hand, then bunch it up and wipe from bottom to the top, anus area first, then i wipe my "front" area and .. DAYYUUUUM! I feel about 5 pounds lighter!! hehehe

if it's hanging in my bathroom, it's hanging over the roll. that makes so much more sense, when it comes to access and controlling how many sheets you get. I tear off a few sheets, fold it once (if it's double ply,) and get to wiping. balls to back. then I take a look/smell at what the score was, fold the paper over once more, and wipe again. there may be one more fold-wipe combo, space permitting, before that one is disposed of. repeat as necessary. look with pride at job well done. flush. wash vigorously.

The roll sits on my counter. the only thing on the roll holder is my empty tube from the last time my mom visited and replaced the roll that was sitting on the counter and put it back on the toilet paper holder.
i wipe sitting and i also bunch up the sheets(15 to 20) or slices as i like to call them
Matt

I would bet those folks who are wrapping several feet of toilet paper around their hand, thus creating ass gloves, are the same folks responsible for the majority of clogged toilets. This clogged toilet epidemic will be the downfall of this great democracy. May God have mercy on your souls!!

I just crumple it up and wipe my ass. Sometimes if you spread your cheeks apart when you poop theres nothing to wipe because it comes out without touching anything

When I was very little I used my hand. My mother would scream at me. Now that i'm older (not more mature) I use my sleeve, if im not wearing a shirt I iust use kleenex, it works really well.

I just use my penis.

Gibson... you're a genius.

Anyways, I prefer the start of the roll in the front (I always thought that it was some sort of unwritten toilet paper law.) and I usually pull off about a foot or 2 (give or take a few inches; depending on texture and thickness of the toilet paper) of toilet paper and bunch it. (Yes, this is extremely similar to Jaybowel's "wadding") Compared to the "rolling the toilet paper around your hand" technique, this technique seems to save more toilet paper; therefore, you save more money. *shrugs*

I wipe my ass from front to back to avoid having a pile of shit arround my cunt hole...hehehehe

I like to have the tp off the holder so that i can just grab it. but if its on the holder i dont really care. (NOT a tp freak) i usually pull about three feet off, sort of fold it but i spread it out then make a wad, wipe, and i look, then i fold it , and wipe and look, then i fold it again.. but if im just urinating i will just wrap a little around my hand.

Nobody here mentions getting the paper wet first. Of course you have to be near a sink or bidet, but a damp wad of TP is so much more effective. Even if I'm in a public stall, I'll at least spit on the paper to increase its cleaning ability.

I personally like to spread eagle after my irradication and then, hoping for no klingons, wipe between my legs in one failsafe swoop.

I use my gay partner's penis. This is only because i am poor and homeless so i can't afford toilet paper. However, i can afford a computer and the internet.

That is very interesting, Royce.

I like to use an old, dried up piece of corn-on-the-cob like my great gandpappy used to use.

I bunch, and wipe from the front. This somehow came up in conversation with my friends who said I wipe like a girl. Actually I think it's the opposite - women are more likely to wipe from the back to keep from getting infected up front. Guys can do it from the front safer, and it's a lot more efficient. Problem is, most guys are tought how to wipe by their mother, who wipes from the back - see? It's not me, but all you back-wipin guys who are wipin like girls!

Whatever, dude. We'll just call you 'shit-sack' from now on.

Timo -- It's moments of clarity like your comment that restore my faith in humankind. Rock on, man. Rock on.

I take two sheets per wipe, and fold them together. I agree with Jeff that crumpling can lead to accidental finger-anus interaction. And you know, if you get enough fiber in your diet, you barely need to wipe at all. If you're making a big ol' mess down there, you should really re-evaluate your food intake.

There have been some very good points made on this subject. As to the question of over the top or behind the roll, I have no preference. My wiping style has evolved like man from an apelike creature. When I was a boy, I crumpled. The finger touching the anus senario happened one too many times and I began a life of folding. As I grew into a man, and with my manhood came hair surrounding my asshole, I developed a new method derived from the fold method. Instead of a sweeping wipe motion, I blot my ass clean. This way the shit does not smear into my thick jungle of ass hair. If needed, and available, I wet the tp to really clean things up. It is a very effective method that should be experemented with.

My girlfriend says that over the top is the right way to hang your TP. Behind the back is just plain wrong. Her argument is that if you hang it over the front (especially important in public restrooms) that you don't have to worry about touching the wall in order to grab the toilet paper. Do you want to be touching the wall where someone dipped their dirty hand in their crack and just possibly left an invisible poopsmear behind? I very much doubt it.

As for me, i wrap the paper around my hand, pull the wrap off, and squash the wrap to form a neat wrapped fold.

My girlfriend on the other hand, wraps the paper around her hand, and PINCHES one and, creating a sort of BUNCH at the other end. She also added that she must look at the paper every time to see what color is. (she wouldn't want to miss seeing a rare green turd by covering it with toilet paper)

i find it most conveniant to potty in my diaper, thus
i have no preferance as to what way TP is hung but over the top is the right way to hang your TP, it's just too simple. Mommy wipes me back to front with my legs in the air, if diaper rash is any kind of indicator this method works very well and i recommend it wholeheartedly!

Well I wasnt really taught by my mother, she would just do it for me, until i was quite old. I would remember either me or my brothers screaming. "I am finished!" and she would come and wipe us.

As an adult i prefer my toliet paper with the tp out, not under. And my wiping style I find is efficent and cost effective. I will tear off about a foot and a half of toilet paper then fold it in half.

I will then place the tp in my hand being held as a square by the thumb. And with the first wipe I will WIPE, then LOOK, then FOLD. the first wipe is will be and upwards motion away from my penis.

I will then fold (the paper is a neat square now) then I will wipe forward, towards my penis. Then I will FOLD, LOOK and wipe again away from my balls.

I usually then take a shower soon afterwards, since I work at home, and just loathe the feeling of a stinky booty.

I have no preference for any particular roll orientation. I have discovered this great new product, it is wet ass wipes for adults. I wipe a couple of times with the wet sheet then I pat dry with tp.

Wiping? What's wiping?

Well, I always remember my dad yelling at my brother to stop rolling the tp up into "balls" and then using because it always clogged the toilet. So anyway, paper coming from underneath on the roll--if not, then you risk breakage of it. oh, and no particular wiping style, just wipe till its clean!

I too have a very hair butt any seem to wipe with no end. So I started shaving my butt and now I average about 2 to 3 wipes and I'm out. And If i'm in a public stall and someone comes in. The poop session is haulted untill the coast is clear.

i like to grab a bunch of leaves from from my favorite bush outside my neighbors house and squat down and cut loose on the grass. gives you a outdoorsey feeling and brings mankind back to nature. as for the roll, everybody knows leaves hang over the front and i like to crumple a bunch in my hand and smear away! one time i had to use my girlfriends silk panties to wipe as it was winter with no leaves to be found, and we all know how silk smears! it was a bad ordeal! snow works great also as it sucks the hemmorhoids right back to where they came from

First off, buy a cat...that solves the problem of wiping at home as cats eat just about anything. Just kidding, but on a more serious note...I like the TP over the front for ease of access, but the reverse hangdown style allows more sheets and less breakage. I am a wrapper, remover, and folder. I pull off about a foot of TP, wrap around my hand, then remove my hand and proceed to wipe, back to front...It just seems a more natural motion for the wrist. And if you're doing a good, careful job you need not worry about scrotal contamination. I then check the status of the paper, and fold and repeat as needed. On rare occasions, a new wrap of paper is necessary. When faced with a very determined layer of dingle-smear, the wet approach may be needed, but this necessitates a sink in close proximaty (or a tub). And finally, I like to do a little ass dancing before I release my mud bunnies....I set one cheek on the seat, lean to that side and then push off to get maximum spread and then, while holding the other cheek in full spread, pin the other cheek to the other side of the seat to achieve a hands-free spread. And for God's sake people!!! Provide some acceptable reading material (porn is always good) in your bathrooms! Thanks!

hairy butt: You shave your butt in public restrooms before wiping? Wow.

The phantom crevice is right about the 'wrapper, remover, and folder' thing, cause that's what I do, then wipe from scrotum to crack. I am obsessive when it comes to wipage, though, as I'll wipe so thoroughly that it looks like I got blasted with a hose.

Oh, as a side comment, you people are all sick bastards.

As a side not, paper hanging over the top is the right way to do it *nod*

1. I prefer babywipes...durable..they do a better job, only downside is your asshole is moist for about a minute.
2. When TP is the only available option..I like the beginning behind the roll.
3. I reach around the back to wipe...I always have. I think it could be because I have huge nuts(it's true ask my wife) and just the possibility of them getting in the way...the collateral smear..no thanks

P.S. I am a folder

The problem with baby wipes is that they are bad for your septic system... they don't disentigrate like toilet paper, so they can clog pipes. The new moist toilet papers from P&G and Kleenex solve the problem, however. I haven't used them too much, but they moisturize while they clean! how wonderful

Most of you people use WAAAYY too much paper. Here's the secret: Take 1 (and only 1) square. Fold it in half, and half again and tear off the corner that is the middle of the two folds. Keep the torn out piece to be used later in these instructions. When you reopen it, you will have a hole dead center of the square. Now, push your index finger through the hole. Wipe your delicates with your finger, and then wrap the TP around your finger and pull off, cleaning off your finger. Then, take that little piece you tore out of the middle, and use that to clean out your finger nail.
You can get hundreds of wipes per roll this way.

I usually read the newspaper while "doing my business." Once my colon is empty, I tear about a 2 to 3 inch wide strip of newspaper, moisten it and wipe back to front. Outside of the occaisional nasty paper cut, it works well. Worst case scenario is if the paper cut gets infected and there's pus in my stool. I don't like that much. A nice dollop of vaseline on my sphincter relives all, though. P.S.: Don't use the slick paper like the Sunday coupons, it just smears. Also, the colored ink could cause rectal cancer.

I like my paper over the top of the roll, from there I'm a "wrap around the hand guy", then I do my business front to back. (Scrotum to mid back, then I check the mirror to make sure I have a nice racing stripe). Actually I stop right past the pucker zone. Then repeat the process. THANKS FOR ASKING!

It is important to always wipe up towards the back not down. For men this could cause the poop to stick to the hair and nuts.

Ooops! I clicked to fast.As I was saying........... Once the poop is stuck. It will cause poop stains and that can be ugly. It is called "Turdynads". For women this can cause the poop to go into the snatch. It can also cause poop stains. This is called " Poopy Kooch". So remember to wipe up or try investing in brown undies. Don't expect to get much lovin' if you don't wipe up.

this shit is gross! but funny, lol!

yes i just returned from my magnificent porcelain throne where i gave birth to an eight pound baby boy. He was about 13 inches long and a diameter of about2 inches. While launching out such magnificent shnoiters as this one...thurough wiping is required. My toilet paper hangs on the little rack. so i fold it very neatly and try to get it as wide as possible for quicker, more efficent wiping. After i fold about 6 of those...i will then go to work at cleaning. And everybody please remember....shitting is a sport...shitting is art....

When in fine hotels, I enjoy sticking one end of the shoe buffer up my rectum and pressing the button. The soft spinning buffer gets me incomparably clean. When at home, I usually flush out my ass with a turkey baster, then dry it with women's sanitary napkins. I suspect this is not a common practice due to the fact that the clerk at my local CVS looks at me with a strange expression when I purchase the napkins.

Damn this is some funny...shit! :D

First, I must suggest my preferred method of shitting. I hold my cheeks apart as I sit, this makes for an open environment that makes cleanup a cinch. Now, as I child, I too was told to wipe while standing, I actually remember having a conversation in high school where my friends and I compared sitting vs. standing techniques (we standing-wipers were in a minority). But after coming to college, I was something of a shamefull shitter and couldn't stand the idea of someone noticing my footshuffling while I stood to wipe. Long story short, after four years of shitting in public dorm toilets, I've converted to a sitting wiper and cannot fathom standing to wipe, I'm just too lazy now. I still, however, do the pre-cheek spread and wipe with paper folded...I'm not picky how the paper hangs, just have to have a good thick pad of paper to wipe with. I have trouble when I go home though, because I'm used to the cheap single-ply government surplus paper that disintegrates if you sneeze on it...when I go home to the good stuff I habitually use to much and clog the damn toilet. I guess college has changed me in more ways than one.

right now i would like to wipe my butt with my little brother's face....he is a pain in the ASS. get it? hahahahahaha

At home the tp sits on the tank--it's too much work to put 'er on the roller. First, I stand up, flush to prevent clogs and roll the paper around my index finger from about waist height down to just above the floor (about 3 feet). I tear and fold twice. I hold a cheek aside with one hand and wipe bottom to top with the free hand. I then use the other clean end of the yet-moderate-length stream from bottom to top again. I refold the same length to reveal more clean areas until the length is spent. When I run out of poo with the bottom-to-top method, I go between the legs and do top-to-bottom. At this point, it's clean enough to do the top-down method without making a mess and usually there's enough poo still there to justify the extra effort. I think most people are unaware of the poo they leave by neglecting a *reverse-flush* of the pipe. This poo will, if you allow it, ferment and make your farts smell that much worse. After a few more wipes--bottom-up, I flush again to dispose of the tp. I've always folded. I vaguely remember my dad showing me how when I was very young. The rest I've developed over the years.

PS--Sweet site. It's the coolest thing since the "Log of logs" my roommates and I keep.

On the subject of roll orientation, I'm a die-hard over-the-top man at heart. The reality of having playful cats, however, made me bend that conviction. I wipe from nuts to spine, folding a variable length and number of times depending on the quality of the media at hand.

Like Trevor, I was spoiled as a child, as my grandmother took care of the task. On my first day of preschool, I screamed my lungs out -- "I'm FIN-ISHED!" -- waiting for somebody to come wipe my ass. It took one of the teachers wondering why the hell I'd been gone so long to get anything done about it.

first of all, over the top is the only way to go. i hate having the start of the roll hiding in the back, as i spin the roll furiously forwrd trying to get it started. while i don't condemn the back-rollers, i feel that this is something that should be regionally standardized (like which side of the road to drive on). then, when we go to europe, we would notice how quaint the brits are for their back-flowing rolls in the WC. to aid in my quest, i must note that if the TP isn't on the roll, i'm about 40% to put it on; however, if it's "backward", i'm batting 1.000. now, on to the meat of this post...i was very disturbed that roll direction, standing vs. sitting vs. squatting, folding vs. clumping, etc., was discussed at length, whereas the real style debate, front-wipers vs. back-wipers, was glossed over in relatively few posts. i (a man), am a front wiper. allow me to educate you on what this means. with my left hand, i pull my balls up and to the left, and with the right, wipe by bunghole from the back to the front (towards the nut sack). any differing in style is like throwing left-handed. i cannot fathom leaning forward and reaching around the back in an unnatural contortion to wipe from the back. the one argument the back-wipers try to throw at you is "if you front-wipe, you'll get shit all over your balls/cunny." this is stupid. do you, as a back-wiper, get shit spread all up your spine? of course not. perhaps on females, there are certain health issues, but we are men. we pee standing up, and should wipe from the front! front-wipers unite!

My faviorite is when the tp gets bunched into little balls,and stuck in your ass hair, because of this, i just wait to shit, before i take a shower, then i shit, flush and wash my asshole in the shower, makes me feel fresh and clean

I neever even new you could wipe sitting down...

i am a girl so i squat above public toiles... i wrap the tp around my hand squat pee wipe and flush wrapping it around the hand is easiest i wad the tp up to wipe from front to back i hover squat because toilets are to dirty to sit on

yeah I agree 100% w/you crystal.But usually some people take some toilet paper and put some on the toilet seat so that you don't have to squat.

the paper's got to be over the top or on the counter(the subject of my first battle with the wife), hanging it around back only makes it hard to find the end, and then starts the spinning and then a half roll on the floor. This just won't do, once the reading is done, its time to end the session and get on with things.
best fold is to take about a foot and a half and fold it in about thirds. you know, one fold part way up the length and then another back over it, it goes pretty quick if you hold each end in a hand and fold it onto your lap. if the first end gets folded over again and you end up with 4 layers in one area, no problem, put your finger behind it for extra strength. this gives me a piece long enough to cover from my finger tips over my whole palm. that way if there are any scatterblasts on the cheeks from mud splashes, you're covered.
Always been a from the back sittin wiper, why stand any more than necessary? Besides, wiping from the front gets your hand below the rim, which is an only as needed kind of thing for me. Just rock over onto one cheek and wipe away. in a foreigh hopper, I always hold the creature away from the dank inner bowl surface (gotta respect your tools). one pass per slab, no repeat wiping, that's just asking for a re-smear or the dreaded funk finger. front to back for most cripe categories, the ate-too-much-bbq-tar problem can require some extraordinary measures: same set up, put the paper in place and pull back with the finger, then pinch forward with the thumb, seems to give more leverage and containment. Sometimes a full backward wipe is warrented for up-crack migration, always staying well clear of the front end baggage.
The hair problem seems to be creeping in for me too. So far, i figure if it doesn't come out on the paper, it's there to stay until it gets a blast in the shower.
The ass spreading idea is an interesting one, after all, it seems to work pretty well for my dog, no wiping, clean as when he started.

I wholeheartedly agree that tp should hang over the top. It's just the natural way to go. Of course, that is assuming that I actually took the time to put on a fresh roll instead of just setting it on top of the tank.
As for the fold versus wad debate, folding is the only way to go. Wadding decreases the exposed surface area of the tp, meaning one has to use more to acheive the same coverage.

People, people, we sit here an argue while the point of the issue passes us by! It is not how one wipes or presents ones roll, it is whether or not the blast zone is truely cleared. As a wiseman once told me, "Go to bed with itchy butt, wake up with sticky fingers." I think we all need to consider that.

Actually it isn't the toilet paper that is important when it comes to wiping...it is the position on assumes while wiping. It has come to the attention of myself and my husband that the world is broken into 2 groups of people...those who stand while they wipe and those that remain sitted and tilt. Start asking your friends, you will see.

In these days of giant corporations clear cutting old growth forests, I think an environmentally sound method of wiping is this. Three squares are all you should need. One for the up stroke, one for the down stroke and one to polish. Of course if the fecal matter in question is highly viscous, then a few more squares could be used. In my opinion we should all strive to use less paper products in our daily lives. Try it out. It's good for the environment....

Usually I'll take a small wad of toilet paper and use it to wipe my pussy. Then I'll take another moderate wad of TP to wipe my ass off once. After that I'll take another wad a little smaller than the first just to make sure I got everything. I usually wipe away from my pussy. I also don't care which way the roll starts out, just so long as it's within reach.

I just realized I'm too lazy to wipe. I think I'll install a bide......

i wipe my ass every time i take a shit. Do other people do this? I don't have a technique i just shove it up my ass and let it stay there.

After discussing with friends these subjects, this is what I've learned:
1. Those that wipe standing up were never taught how to wipe by their parents.
2. Being a guy, you should do your business, and get out of there. This is Howard Stern's advice, and despite the temptation to read in the office, don't. Don't plant yourself down on the toilet until you're about to go, and don't dilly-dally once you're done.
3. After you've taken a nice big schtein, lean forward, and wipe from anterior to posterior.
On a personal note, I like the TP with the roll hanging in back. For those who are obsessed with it in front, how hard is it really to find where the roll begins? Also, using the excuse as it's more sanitary for a front hanging preference is ridiculous....the person before you touched that same roll no matter which direction the TP hangs.
As for wiping...I take about 3 double ply squares, and start rolling it up from one end. I don't roll it tight, just roll it enough to form a sort of cylinder with thickness to it. Pinching the roll/cylinder by the free end, I wipe using the opposite side, using where I pinched the rolled up TP to prevent the roll from unravelling. After inspecting the surface that had contact with my ass, I toss it in the bowl. ALWAYS be careful on the 1st wipe...make sure not to smear. If there is very little poop on subsequent wipes, its okay to wipe more than once with the same roll...as long as you're not smearing anything.

Oh my gawd, this is the funniest thing i've ever read on the Internet!

I use a rather unorthodox method of wiping. I rip off about 4 attached sheets, then fold them in half the long way over my knee. Then i pinch the center between my thumb and index and middle fingers and flip my hand over so the wipe is draped over the pinch point. Then just a clean swipe from front to rear, taking a look at the haul before i toss it in the bowl. I then go about the semi-involved process of manufacturing another wipe to use for one more go around. I repeat until the current wipe is spotless.

what you do is take off about a foot of TP then wipe from back to front, then fold that pice in half and repeat. this will use ur toilet paper to an extent and u wont get shit on ur fingers, dont ya hate that?

First of all, TP should be over the top, then unroll 2 separate strips of about 3 feet each, fold each strip into several layers, use these to build a nest on the toilet seat, if in a public washroom, not needed at home of course. Sit and start straining, if the seat is ice cold try tilting ass so only one cheek gets the cold shock, this also helps spread butt cheeks to prevent a messy evacuation. While engaged in shitting, unroll several yards of TP, separate into 3 or 4 strips, bunch strips and when done stand up and start wiping front to back, keep checking TP, prepare more bunches as needed until you come clean. Remember to flush more than once to avoid flooding toilet from the mountain of TP....the amount is less if the TP is the luxurious type, but most public venues use the cheap recycled crap that falls apart, esp. annoying are the monster econo TP rolls, like in movie theatre loos, impossible to unroll a strip as it dispenses one thing flimsy transparent piece at a time, you have to spend about an hour building a stack of these which will let you wipe without getting shit all over your hand...ewwwwwwwwwww

After the last alien deboards the UFO of crap, I grab my entire package, move it out of the way, and clean myself from the front. Though it takes both hands and a bit of practice, it is the best way to cleanse ones anus.

For me the toilet paper must bve hanging from the front if somebody puts it on the wrong way then I will put it toward the front. Most of the time I grab some and bunch. Everyonce in a while I will fold and wipe. You don't need to be so damn pickey about how you wipe as long as you dont get poop on your fingers because that is just grose. but it must hang from the front.

i agree with krystal i pull my pants down squat pee wipe flush pull pants up and leave any 1 got n idea of how to hover squat easier i keep loosing my balance

Wiping is for peasants. Don't you fools have showers? Simply plan your bombing runs around shower time and invest in a few nice soft washcloths. It cuts WAY back on TP costs and virtually elimates the paper dingleberrys that can be a real faux paux during a bout of gymnastic intimacy.

Feel fresher: Hydroclean.

Tommy does prefer the shower method BUT he does on occasion stand w/ a wad. I know I've seen it!! Eric is right. Or should I say his girlfriend is right. If you leave the start sheet to the back then dirty fingers have to touch the wall to grab it. Can we say EWWWWWWWWW. As if my poo wasn't gross enough I sure as HELL don't want to touch someone elses. I say the stand and wipe method is for the birds. The bunzhole wrinkles when you stand and therefore is left with crezices full of poo. Which can leave the dreaded itch not to mention it is not too cool for the spur of the moment "Oh yeah baby spank me awwwuuuuu!"

Needless to say sit when you wipe. Full expansion = a fully clean bum bum.

why bother wiping when your just going to take a shower later on anyway.

My T.P. process is this if I'm in a public bathroom: I muffle my arsehole with T.P. while taking the poo just in case any explosive farts escape, then I drop the wad of paper into the bowl, thus creating a "poo raft," which ends the splash problem. After I've passed my last toilet truffle, I pull out about 3 feet of T.P., wad it up, ensuring there are no holes for my fingers to poke through, and I wipe (bottom to top) until clean; sometimes I spit on the paper to get it a little wet, which helps speed the process up.

i thought that the proper way to do this was just use the whole roll to wipe with and later peel off the "unsightly" layers. makes sense to me; it's easy to hang on to the roll w/ that cardboard cylinder...

I like to call my method the aircleaner, named after me. I like to save a huge blast of arctic ass-wind and after the dump has fallen, I rip the tornado, cleaning any anus left-overs. The wind feels nice on the other parts of my body as well.

well guys i like the french speciality papers it smells like cheese i get it imported espesally for me

I personally prefer to fold 2 sheets and wipe bottom to top, (multiple wipes per sheet if I am running out), preferrably dispensed from the roll "over the top". Having had a recent conversation about this in the bar, one friend said he preferred to wipe top to bottom, near-standing, with his arm between his legs, (putting him in severe danger of spreading poop onto balls). However, my favourite shits are those big ones that fly out and require no wiping, the "Miracle Shits". Out of interest does anyone else suffer from minor abbrasions due to a combination of cheap "sandpaper style" t.p., and extended wiping sessions? Its a pain in the arse!!!

Yes. Especially after using the cheap kind in public places (like airports) or in hotels. When I am paying $150/night at a hotel, I'd like some soft toilet paper. Hell, if I were to pay $20/night, it still wouldn't be too much to ask!

To answer the question most relevant to this thread, I wad up a great deal of paper and wipe front-to-back. I take so much paper at a time that I am afraid I'll clog the toilet with it. I've tried to cut back, but I just can't stop taking a bunch of paper. Maybe I've had some sort of event in my youth where paper tore during wiping and I got some poop on my hands. I dunno. All I know is that I like a big ass wad of TP.

Most TP must be hung down the back. This is because it tends to be thin and will rip into useless individual squares when you try to pull it over the hump of the roll.

If you have one of the thickest 2 ply brands or the roll is more than 2/3 used, you can switch to over the top, and that is good because it's easier to reach by an inch or two.

Now as for wiping, ya gotta start by sitting to avoid cheek-smush. and it does help to hold the cheeks apart as the canoe embarks, but I don't always do that (too busy holding the magazine).

Once I have gotten most of the slide-age off my cheeks, I begin to inspect the TP. At this point I'll stand or lean more dramatically to get better angles.

I used to finish by using antibacterial moisturizer on the TP. However, thank God for the new Cottonelle and copycat brand premoistened wipes. I'll maneuver them all over the area back there and even just inside the opening. Leaves me with a rear comparably as fresh as just-showered.

Just one issue-- those wipes leave you uncomfortaby wet and a tad itchy as they dry so you gotta use a THICK fold of TP and blot LIGHTLY once or twice to dry off. Too few layers in th fold or too hard a blot and you got icky Klingons visiting Uranus.

i dont give a SHIT about how the toilet paper hangs, i wipe from back to front, then from front to back, i then repeat with wet toilet paper

i wish i had enough money for a bidet

and for those people who write a page on their versions of ass wiping, you are sick, sick, sick people

If you want to hear the correct way to wipe go to a location where there will be bike riders and have to shit on the way when there is no facilities (I use the term, Main Office) between you and the location. What I did was to go into a field where there were pine trees and I used enough pine cones till there was no black (browner than the cone) left.

Now as far as what I do when there are facilities I just use enough squares (they don't really make square toilet paper any more), so that my fingers shouldn't go through and scratch the area I'm taking care of at the time.

Have fun wiping and taking care of business

What I like to do is take a fresh roll of toilet paper after I unload and put it on the floor, the whole roll. Then I sit on it and bob around until I feel fresh. Wasn't everyone taught to do it this way? Anyway, the only problems are that I use a full roll of toilet paper every session and my white bath mat now has many brown highlights. HA!

After a long day at teaching at school I come home and go straight to the bathroom and i take a big shit. i look at my t.p. thinking what it is going to look like in a minute, i nice and neatly fold my t.p. and wipe my ass then thinking what it looks like with the corn on it from last night. I need to have corn everyday because i have phincto. Every since i was a child i was taught to not waste food.I'm going to leave it at that though.

"Shit happens, Just Wipe it.."

For all the anal retentive dudes and dudettes out there, the corrct answer to your ass-questions are posted below:

A-Wipe direction is: Front to Back;

B-Sitting vs. Standing: Sitting is the right answer

C-The T.P. Roll : Forward

Reading carefully the wipe methodology, I noticed a glaring ommision by most people that I found rather disturbing. Although emphasis has been put on the direction and frequency of wipes, to miss the final blot test step--- whereby you superficially force the T.P. into the anal cavity and use a blotting technique to get the last smudge bits out --is just wrong. I hope this helps you stinky pants out there,

I have to have the TP off the roll, i wrap it around my hand until its thick enough that i dont get shit on my hands, then i lean over fromt he sitting positions and wipe...w00t

I wipe my arse sitting down......am I a freak?

Try this: Instead of spending hundreds of dollars a month on costly and painful squares of paper, hop in the shower right after you poop and rinse it out real good. Then soap it down and rinse, then clean your soap and hands off. Always does the trick, leaves me feeling nice and clean, and saves money on TP. Also, when you get out of the shower, instead of wiping your crack with the towel, sometimee rendering it unreuseable, use the TP to dry your ass. Also dries ears. All of this may seem wierd, but if feels much better.

Don't use the same bunch or wad of TP that you dry your butt with to dry your ears. Take precaution, it's a dangerous world, but not having poopie remnants smeared on your ear makes you a safer person.

i wuz bored so i desided to type in poop at google.com, THIS IS HILARIOUS

I have huge constipation times usually during winter when my chocolate freezes between my two red cheeks. So going to the toilet usually ends up with huge amounts of blood loss or a blocked anus causing discomfort until summer arrives. Anyway my problem is solved thanks to my new technique. Holding my breath I hit my gut causing my balls to tighten up, at the same time this ensures your wrinkley rim to open but remember after the hit it is only opened for a few second. In the time stick your fingers inside your rim and thrust outwards causing the muscle to expand. Holding the position, use your teeth and collect toilet paper and transfer to your right hand. Push hard and as you feel the top of the nigga head coming through grab it with your fingers and pull through. Apply toilet paper as necessary.

Poop is fun, let me tell you!!!

Why wipe if ya have a dog?

This site is quite a find. Deals with topics that most folks I know wonder about but are hesitant to talk about.

Here's something I discovered two years ago... fiber intake dramatically impacts the ease of elimination of waste. Most folks probably already know that. I found out later than most. But, since implementing it in my diet, my time on the toilet has become practically problem-free.

Here's the magic formula (for me): 30+ grams of fiber a day. I get the fiber from whole wheat bread (3 grams a slice), Cliff bars (5 grams each), canned corn, Jamba Juice with a fiber boost (12 grams total), raisins, carrots, and at least 2 apples a day (4 grams each).

I typically eat the heavy stuff early in the day to give my body time to digest. By the next morning, after I've had my morning coffee (which has a minor laxative effect), the waste comes flowing out incredibly easy.

And usually, I feel as if my intestines and colon are completely empty once I'm done. Frankly, it's a very good feeling. I remember what it feels like to have major amounts of food that isn't quite digested, taking up space inside. Ugh.

As for wipe methodology, there's one thing I do which I've only seen mentioned by one person above... taking a last "dig" for the final remnants of waste. No matter what you do, there's usually a tiny bit or two of waste left inside near the opening. If you take a couple squares of toilet paper and dig for it, it's easy to ferret out.

That may sound strange, but it's very effective in cleaning some residual waste that would otherwise remain inside (near the opening) until the next elimination event.

A side point... I don't eat dinner. Instead, I have the Jamba Juice (a smoothie for those unfamiliar). That's because my normal process includes a morning visit to the toilet and having dinner the previous night doesn't allow the food enough time to digest. That means it's not ready for elimination. (That's the ugly feeling of having undigested food inside after a toilet visit I referred to a moment ago).

Second side point... I never used to employ the "Courtesy Flush" rule. I used to simply eliminate the waste and clean myself while it sat in the toilet. I changed my ways long ago. Today, right after my body rids itself of the waste, I flush. There are a few moments of lingering bad odor of course, but with ventilation in the bathroom, it's gone very quickly.

Third side note... taking a shower after elimination is a great idea. I started doing this about three years ago. Nothing can match the cleansing ability of water. After the shower, I lightly blot the water from the anus area with toilet paper. Having moisture down there isn't necessarily a health issue. But, being dry feels more comfortable.

One last thought... You can literally set your watch to my process. With my level of fiber intake and food consumption schedule, I'm ready for waste elimination at the same time every morning, give or take a few minutes.

It makes life a lot easier because I find most public facilities outrageously unsanitary. The thought of sitting on a public toilet fills me with dread. (Especially when someone has left a hair or two behind on the seat. Ugh.).

Having a process that is so timely allows me to eliminate once a day at home.

This is my first time at the site. I appreciate the humor. And I appreciate the thoughts of others.

I just use my friend Michelle...its much more convient and she reaches those hard-to-get places

Mine is efficient, and clean, I fold, then wrap it around my middle finger, turn my self 180 degrees from my facing position when seated then wipe with my middle finger. I'd have to bend over and try to open my ass hole abit, but not too much so that I can get a surface area with my middle finger on my crack-hole-side. Some times I'd give it a sniff, but not a big one, not that I enjoy that, not sure why I'd do that some times.

I enjoy going poop! It releases whats not suppose to be there. As for my wiping technique, that is quite unusual........... I wipe side to side.Now it seems to make it more difficult cuz then there is poop all over my cheecks but i dont mind the extra time i spend cleaning it. Just like Joe Lee, I some times smell my poop just to make sure everythings doing okay inside of me!

Gosh guys, I never would have imagined this to be an issue that would provoke such passionate debate. As I articulated in my post pertaining to this most contentious of subjects, I'm a wrap-and-fold man, and I wipe from front to back, or as steve would say "balls to back." The toilet paper I buy is 3 or 4 ply, very thick, and my stool is usually quite solid, so I normally use only 3 or 4 sheets per wipe. For my purposes, therefore, the overhead hanging method is most appropriate, as it enables me to control the number of sheets better. Check out my thread on "Scrunching vs. Folding" in the forums at:

http://www.poopreport.com/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=817

There's another thread by corncob on the subject of wiping direction. Check it out at:

http://www.poopreport.com/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=823

I have been struggling with wiping strategies for a few months now - new diet has unsettled things. I switch up between folding and bunching, for a little variety in my life. I have been plagued by skid-marks and finger funk recently, and came to this site for new techniques. Also, I go through a great deal of paper - sometimes 6-7 wipes isn't enough. TP costs are so high I often opt to stay at school so I don't have to use up my own paper at home! I wipe balls to crack twice, then crack to balls because going against the grain allows you to catch more crud. Even at that though, I never feel fully clean and often times this is supported by soiled diapers. Whoever pinches and folds is asking for a disaster, although I am tempted to try this if it saves TP. Please post strategies for dealing with hairy asses.

Here's something not yet mentioned, to which I resort from time to time. If you've had a really messy dump that's going to take a while to clean (and there isn't time, or maybe not enough tp), water is the way to go. Spit is a good idea (I hadn't thought of that), a nearby sink is useful, but if you're in a public place and waddling to the sink with your pants down isn't an option, you can always use the water in the toilet tank (it's clean!). Just lift off the tank cover and dip the tp.

I have a very unusual poo consistency. I can wipe and wipe and wipe, and it just never seems to come clean. I end up with a nice mixture of blood and poo from wiping so vigorously. To remedy the bleeding asspect, I simply take about 5 or 6 sheets worth of TP and wad it up and insert it into my poo hole. Yeah, it feels wierd the first couple of times you do it, but when you take it out several hours later, all that excess poo is finally dried and adhered to the packing. Hence, no underwear messes. Now I just have to address the yellow discharge coming from my penis. Any thoughts?

With the pile I leave behind, I have to stand up to wipe, or else I'll be knuckle deep in poo when I reach back there.

I'm a very proper pooper. I try very hard not to make much noise (when in the office pooper especially). You know, time the grunts, strains and excess noise for when others flush, run water, or cough. The wiping technique is very simple. I tear off a couple of feet of paper, fold it over and over again neatly and evenly making about a 6 or 8" rectangle, and wipe good and hard with even pressure from back to front, rotating the paper forward slightly as to use new paper throughout the wipe. A quick foldover and I'm ready for round 2. Most times this does it, however, sometimes this process needs to be repeated once or twice.

Four out of five Rats prefer corn and peanuts in their pop.

hi i am 15 i used to poop my panties but not any more becaus my mum spanked me hard so know when i have a poop i call her and she comes and bends me over and wipes my ass

I have been cursed with an illness that has given me a lifetime of messy dirreha. Wiping has been a major part of my life due to the mess left by splashback from the force of my poo. Its not a pretty sight, and I often chilli the bowl. I use 3-4 squares, and fold so there is no leak-through. I also wipe sitting down, back to front, while holding the boys out of harms way. There is no stink-sack cuz I don't drag the tissue over my balls for pete's sake. I check between wipes for anything out of the ordinary, fold and repeat until residue is gone. I then take a final pat down over my cheeks with another sheet to check for any splashback. If it was especially messy, I follow up with a flushable wet-wipe. I highly recommend these! You think your hole is clean with dry paper, but one wipe of these will show you the brown residue you missed! I like to walk away with a disenfected, squeaky-clean anus. Wouldn't you?

First much should be discussed about the different toilet seats and techniques used for each shape and location. ie) mall, work, home, etc. Since I don't quite have the time to discuss all these, I thought I would write to clear up some confusion about the "front wipers". For those of you who don't know what a front wiper is; let me explain. A "front wiper" or latin wipeyourassfrontis" is a person who starts from the back to the front or from the talebone to the...er....privates. A common misconception is that this technique would lead to shitty balls. On the other hand, if you are a backwiper would you not have a shitty back or tail skids?? The truth is that spreading you legs, lifting your sack, and wiping from back to front between your legs you actually have a better look to determine you cleanliness. So next time you evacuate your colon, give this trick a try. You will never go back to your neanderthal ways and the back of you underies will never be happier...This is for you Bryant

wipe from front to back

don't go yackety yack,

use your right hand

retain clean under pant!!

I am right there with you (clean balls) I too am a male who utilizes the "from the front" technique. Despite popular belief I find this maneuver more effective. To maximize efficiency i have developed a 1 square 4 wipe method stemming from the front. With a scoop of the scrotum you go in for wipe # 1. examine. fold and repeat.... go through the basic motions until you cannot fold the square and utilize a clean wiping surface. Once fully dirtied, discard and pull square 2. You will find you can make a roll of t.p. last alot longer and avoid the dreaded ( mid shit, ran out of toilet paper dilemma ) PLEASE. take my advicein all serious and hopefully we can all come togeather, one nation, one square at a time!

Simple issue:

1) Hang your TP anyway you want and if your SO ANAL that you feel the need to re-mount the roll so be it! (truly...I could give a shit...)

2) Wipe any way that works for you. BUTT- Please clense your privates with water and wipe thoroughly.

3) WASH YOUR HANDS

Personally, I use behind the roll method with a folded pattern of sufficent thickness to keep fecal matter off the fingers and then I wipe a single time from the tailbone to the balls. If needed I will repeat this until sufficently clean and then use water to do the final cleansing.

First, the paper has to come over the front of the roll. I have to have a moveable toilet paper holder so I can position it directly in front of me. Then, I pull the paper off and wrap around my hand as i'm pulling, sort of reeling it in. Then I take it OFF my hand and wipe. Repeat until paper comes up clean.

I am a classic toilet vagrant and here is how I do it....when I wipe I wad up about 5 to 10 feet, really tight then I make my first wipe, as I stand and wipe upwards so I don't get shit on my balls. after one wipe when the once bright white paper is now soiled in juicy brown, I take aim and throw an outside strike just knicking the toilet seat with the heavy side of the ball. This practice has become common place for me and I don't really have to aim or even think about it. I usually have gracefully left a bit of me on the toilet seat toilet seat....to dry...prior to this I had splattered the bowl with me water shits as to I drink too much beer. ....I wipe again with the normal 2 feet worth, get my ass clean then leave the toilet unflushed creating a goopy mess of acid torn paper sure to create an over flow when a dumbass tries to flush it. this is because the massive amounts of paper I used to clean myself has raised the water level in the bowl 2 inches and that will do it when the hole is clogged.....so there you have it thats how you do it, yes you are all welcome. bye now.

Hello...I am a 25 yr old male. My roommate just turned 26. My roommate and I stopped at the store on the way home from the mall the other night. While screwing around while taking the groceries inside our apartment a stupid roll of toilet paper must of fell out of one of our bags. Niether one of us noticed it falling on the ground under the truck (later when we talk about it we both think it might of tried to escape a life of licking our dirty butts out). Later in the evening we both went back to the store to get more beer. Without even knowing it, we backed the truck right over the roll of toilet paper (a big Ford F350). We didn't notice it until our return from the store. We laughed our asses off seeing how bad the toilet paper was injured. We took the bitch in our apartment and tried to shape it back to its original position. It is now on the roller being used by my roommate, myself and whatever friends we have over to party with us. As you can see, we don't treat toilet paper to kindly!

all my life i was a stander. then one day in college i saw an internet list of amusing questions to debate in a dorm. one of them was "do you wipe standing or sitting?" well never in my life had i considered that you could do it sitting. i couldnt even believe that people did it sitting so i started a poll. i still couldnt believe it. i had a huge discussion in the dorm. then i tried it sitting. it worked a lot better and thats the way ive done it ever since.

This is a wealth of information. Someone should write a book. It would be a best seller.

im a wrap around the hand then attack from the rear kinda guy

I have to have the TP on the roll facing the front (again, I also always thought it was an unwritten bathroom rule. I mean, how do you get to it from the back as easily?). Then I do something simmilar to bunching/wadding, and wipe normally.

Tried it all kinds of different Ways,the "Skidmarks"tell the Story.

Don't forget,all Loads over five Pounds MUST be lowered by hand:-)

Over the top. 6 2-ply or 8 1-ply squares, folded on the dotted lines. Sitting. Back to front, repeated until clean. How does one clean ass with water unless in shower or bath?

Over the topper for the TP placement, ensures you can roll and blow to catch the leading edge whne having difficulty finding the first square. Personally, I pull ouit about 12-15 squares at public or office shiiters, 6-10 at home. I don't give-a if I plug the public head, but do NOT want tained toilet water on my personal bathroom carpet!!

With the 12-15 squares in my right hand, I bunch and wad , like packing a snowball, take a good hard swie from bottom to top, you know, an uplifting motion in stead a push down motion. the push down will smear shit towards your balls man!!

Anyway, 12-15 squares for the FIRST wipe! Then grab another 12-15 (unless you are at home, then 6 or 8 squares)do the snowball wad, but THIS TIME you muster up some good clean white spit, spit right in the middle, give the crack a good wipin' and something I didn;t see in any of the previous suggestoins was "CHECK YOUR PAPER"! You gotta know if you got it all man! If not, the third wipe can generally be done with 6-8, another spit shine and your are through.

If you get a little blodd, do step three again!

I can't believe I'm on this site.

I am one of the fabled back to front wipers. It's not much different than wiping the other way, and no, I don't have dingleberries in my private area. The reason that I don't have them is that I wipe my ass and my private parts separately, with separate toilet paper. I don't let one tp touch the wrong part.

See, it's not a fable after all.

THE RIGHT WAY TO WIPE ONES ASS

*******Adjust tp SO IT SPOOLS OFF THE TOP!***********

1. Spread 3 squares of tp across the back of the seat.

use 4 more on each side to form a nice shield. (11 squares) -if in public shithouse-

2. pull pants down being careful not to blow tp off seat. Spread ass cheeks and sit down. You may want to drop in a 2 square blast shield to prevent backsplash if it's going to be a gusher. Adjust pants so they don't hit the frontof the filthy, piss stained toilet.

3.Shit until urge to pee comes. squeeze out remainder of excrement. ...

4. Take 4 squares , fold, grab nuts with free hand if male, wipe just the bung HOLE. Flex and release, wiping back to front releasing pressure as you pass the edge of the puckered sphincter.(No need to smear anything. If ass cheeks were spread properly poop will remain in a hole vicinity only.)

5. Inspect,Fold , make second pass if necessary.

6. repeat step 5 if you need to.

For extreme cases blot, don't wipe to avoid chafing.

Some people without the manual dexterity to wipe just the hole may not be able to do this properly and may have to resort to crumpling, wadding and the excessive "mitten" technique. Your bung hole is only 1-1.5 " , so why smear the dung around unnecessarily?

This method takes only 21-25 squares max. That is in an extreme public restroom maximum blast scenario. At home you might only use 8 squares. Modern butt scratch is usually 2 ply so folded it makes 8 ply. No danger of stink finger here. Just take your time. Accuracy is the key. The speed will come with practice.

Good Poopin,

-peace

I like the paper to come off the roll from the back. That way I can pull what ever number of sheets off with one hand and the roll doesn't go spinning. As for the wipe, my friends treat me like a freak for this but I wipe from back to front while sitting. It gives me the best access and control, I do have to pull the nutz to one side and in a public situation I have to be careful not to bonk my dick on the lid or rim. I'm a minamalist when it comes to the paper. I pull about three sheets and fold in half, this minimizes "break through" and the resulting probe. I then wipe and fold and cont. until I'm done or there is no longer a good side. Since your folding you never touch a "used" side, on a solid day it only takes 3-4 sheets on a bad day.....fuck the trees, whatever it take to get the job done.

I just pick up scraps of paper I find lying around on the floor and use them. If I can't find any, I use my fingers and then lick it off. I'm weird that way, but then again I'm like 80 years old.

i like my tp on a loose roll, not attached to a holder. i like holding onto the roll with one hand whilst twirling the tp around my other hand forming a mitten. i then tear it off, put the roll down and crumple the paper up so that i have a nice grip of tp in my right hand. this gives me a nice clean wipe with minimal backup wipes neccesary (of course depending on the type of bm). also another great technique for wipage- if you are already in the shower and feel a shower poo coming on- just do your bm and come back to the shower and just water clean the bm off the anus instead of using tp. cost efficient and very convenient!!!

Well I have problems while going. I have to have my toilet paper hanging loose. That way it makes it easier to grab for paper. When I wipe I usualy just crumple it up and then dig and fold.

i actually se two paper removal methods, if it's hanging on a wall it must be forward, and i use the folding method. if like Hillbilly it is sitting on the toilet, i roll it over the hand then remove the folding TP from my hand. am a farily hairy guy so i wipe top to bottom to avoid smeraring it in my a$$ hair.

Now I know that I may be risking public shame, but I must defend the position of the standing wipers. My argument, and please hear me through, is that standing to wipe is a more sanitary way to get the job done.

First of all, it must be made clear what it is that I mean by 'standing.' Certainly I do not mean to imply that the standing wiper is fully erect. By no mean. Rather it is something of an elevated sitting position, where is wiper is bent at the waist, thus mainting the necessary cheek clearance to keep things clean and chipper. Now you might be asking, "Well, why stand up if it is just something of an elevated sitting stance?"

I will enlighten you with these points:

1.) After you have made the wipe while standing and the time has come to inspect the status of your anus, in terms of cleanliness that is, you can view your wad from a safer distance than you can while sitting. The toilet paper has to come only inches from your butt to be seen clearly, rather than around to the side of your body, or farther, to see it while sitting. Thus you are less likely to have the wad come in contact with your person is any way, and you can keep the wad farther from your face, which is in all situations desirable.

and

2.)The standing wiper has the advantage of dropping his or her wad into a wide open toilet mouth, rather than the small space that is available while sitting. This decreases the likelihood of a.)the toilet paper hitting the wiper's back or buttocks b.)the toilet paper hitting the back of the toilet seat c.)the wiper's hand touching the back of the toilet seat where a myriad of previous wipers' wads may have made contact upon deposit, and everyone knows that while it is disgusting to touch your own poo, it is infinitly more disgusting to touch someone else's poo.

I admit that there is a potential disadvantage to the standing wipe, but it is not common. Of course I speak of the situation in which the poo process has been a long one, and your legs have fallen asleep due to the poo position. Then, when standing to wipe, suddenly you are dealing with pins and needles while at the same time trying to properly wipe. This is a potentially devastating situation, but one can overcome it successfully. In truth, the actual rate of incidence has been extremely low, almost nonexistant. And though I do recognize the risk, my largest set-backs have only cost me a few extra wipes in the long run. Overall, I believe that a properly executed standing wipe actually reduces the risk of an incident and increase the level of cleanliness while wiping.

TAKE YOUR ASS TO THE .99 CENT STORE AND BUY SOME BABY WIPES THEY ARE GREAT ON SHIT HOLES THAT DONT WANA COME CLEAN THEN DRY YOUR ASS WITH 4 PICES OF TP CLEAN ASS OUT THE DOOR....TAKES NO MORE THAN SEVEN BABY WIPES FOLDED LONGWAYS SO ITS TWO PLY.....DIRTY SHIT ASS NO MORE...O YEA AND A BOTTLE OF MAGNESIUM CITRATE WILL FUCKING CLEAN YOUR ASS OUT GOOD...BIG BLAST OF SHIT IN THE TOILET..

I dont wipe! I have just recently bought........a bidet from TushyClean. If I am not in my house, I fold and wipe down-up.

im a real man i use sand paper to wipe my ass and when im done i play submarines when i get ready to flush i stand at attenion and hum the national anthem because i know il never see my fallen commrads again

What I wonder is it true that Iraqis don't use TP? I read in the news that they use their left (sans any TP) and clean their hand in the sand afterwards. Hence the MiddleEast tradition of not shaking hands with their Left Hands (It's Unclean!) - Ignorant American

Here I sit, broken-hearted;
Tried to shit, but only farted;
Then one day, I took a chance;
Tried to fart, but shit my pants!