How To Build The Big Doo Doo
I am the owner of the Pet Butler franchise in Lexington, Kentucky. Recently I was thinking about how to get people's attention and have them read my vehicle's graphics. You see, PoopReport, I am a Professional Fecal Matter Removal Technician -- one of over sixty other Pet Butler franchises across this country.
Last Sunday, while on the way to church, the idea of the Big Doo Doo popped into my head. I mean, it was a complete vision of what I was to create. So on Monday, after a day of dooing the doo, I set off to the local Home Depot to purchase the supplies. It took about three hours from start to finish. I already owned a cargo carrier, so the items I needed to make the Big Doo Doo were the following: a sheet of plywood, an outdoor green carpet, some dryer vent metal, some ribbed rubber hose, four cans of Great Stuff Insulating Foam, a center base about the size of a large top hat, and two cans of brown spray paint.
I cut the plywood to the proper size to set on the cargo carrier. Next, I stapled the outdoor carpet to the plywood and screwed the top hat-shaped base to the board. I took one can of the Great Stuff and worked it around the base. The dryer vent was mounted around the base and shaped, and then foam was applied to make a base layer of poop. Like all good poop, I gave time for it to harden; once the outside layer of foam was dry enough to touch, I could add additional shaping.
I laid down a second layer of base foam in the small center space. I wrapped smaller, pre-shaped rubber hose on top and covered it with foam. I let that harden so I could reshape and add additional layers until the desired poop sculpture is made.
Remember, poop is like a snowflake -- there are no two alike.
Finally after all the foam was fully expanded and hardened to shape, I spray-painted it to desired color. Behold the Big Doo Doo:
I have gotten the results I desired. This Big Doo Doo is getting its picture taken every day by people with their cell phones and digital cameras. I am getting a lot smiles and head shakes from motorist. Tonight, I was on a four-lane highway. A Mini Cooper passed me on the left, but then decelerated to allow me to pass. It stayed behind me until the driver got the best shot he or she could at forty-five miles per hour.
My Pet Butler business is getting a lot of notice and now, hopefully, a lot word of mouth -- "Did you see that?" "Do you know they do what for a business?" I am hoping that when people in Lexington are to pooped to scoop, or they don't want to doo the doo, or they just want to get a dirty job done dirt cheap, they will call 1 800 PET-BUTLER. Because their dog's biscuits are my bread and butter.
Also, I have attached a picture of me with my vehicle and Ryan Newman, NASCAR driver #12 with the Alltel car. He wanted one of our "Got Poop?" t-shirts, so I made him pose in front of my car in exchange.