How To Build The Big Doo Doo

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m 1+ points - Newb
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I am the owner of the Pet Butler franchise in Lexington, Kentucky. Recently I was thinking about how to get people's attention and have them read my vehicle's graphics. You see, PoopReport, I am a Professional Fecal Matter Removal Technician -- one of over sixty other Pet Butler franchises across this country.

Last Sunday, while on the way to church, the idea of the Big Doo Doo popped into my head. I mean, it was a complete vision of what I was to create. So on Monday, after a day of dooing the doo, I set off to the local Home Depot to purchase the supplies. It took about three hours from start to finish. I already owned a cargo carrier, so the items I needed to make the Big Doo Doo were the following: a sheet of plywood, an outdoor green carpet, some dryer vent metal, some ribbed rubber hose, four cans of Great Stuff Insulating Foam, a center base about the size of a large top hat, and two cans of brown spray paint.

I cut the plywood to the proper size to set on the cargo carrier. Next, I stapled the outdoor carpet to the plywood and screwed the top hat-shaped base to the board. I took one can of the Great Stuff and worked it around the base. The dryer vent was mounted around the base and shaped, and then foam was applied to make a base layer of poop. Like all good poop, I gave time for it to harden; once the outside layer of foam was dry enough to touch, I could add additional shaping.

I laid down a second layer of base foam in the small center space. I wrapped smaller, pre-shaped rubber hose on top and covered it with foam. I let that harden so I could reshape and add additional layers until the desired poop sculpture is made.

Remember, poop is like a snowflake -- there are no two alike.

Finally after all the foam was fully expanded and hardened to shape, I spray-painted it to desired color. Behold the Big Doo Doo:

I have gotten the results I desired. This Big Doo Doo is getting its picture taken every day by people with their cell phones and digital cameras. I am getting a lot smiles and head shakes from motorist. Tonight, I was on a four-lane highway. A Mini Cooper passed me on the left, but then decelerated to allow me to pass. It stayed behind me until the driver got the best shot he or she could at forty-five miles per hour.

My Pet Butler business is getting a lot of notice and now, hopefully, a lot word of mouth -- "Did you see that?" "Do you know they do what for a business?" I am hoping that when people in Lexington are to pooped to scoop, or they don't want to doo the doo, or they just want to get a dirty job done dirt cheap, they will call 1 800 PET-BUTLER. Because their dog's biscuits are my bread and butter.

Also, I have attached a picture of me with my vehicle and Ryan Newman, NASCAR driver #12 with the Alltel car. He wanted one of our "Got Poop?" t-shirts, so I made him pose in front of my car in exchange.

29 Comments on "How To Build The Big Doo Doo"

Chuc's picture
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I like the idea. Our local Nashville parks require owners pick up their pooch's poop. Maybe this Lexington entrepreneur can contract with local parks or petsitting services. Good luck to you.

Miss Simone Scat's picture
k 500+ points
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__I love the first picture!!!!_____
Producing waste since 1967

Producing waste since 1967

The Thunderous Crapper 63's picture
k 500+ points
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Love the company name and doo doo may your company prosper in the brown for many years to come! All the best I remain.....
_______
The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

AHHHHHEMMMMMMMMMM JUST CLEARING MY THROAT!! ;)

Anal About Poop's picture
l 100+ points
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This story made me laugh out loud. I love how the garden gnomes are dwarfed by the humongous poo and the picture of the two kids on the back of the truck seem to be smiling at the poo. I bet the people at the Home Depot never thought about what you were up to with all that odd material.

Gasputin's picture
PoopReport of the Year Awardl 100+ points
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Bravo. You've given whole new meaning to "hauling ass"...

DungDaddy's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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Pat, you rock.

Di Verticula's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Outstanding poo sculpture and a well deserved tributory to animal waste. Great way to promote your business! Um ... are those Travelocity Gnomes? Are they selling tickets to view in person your great mound of poo? Pet waste removal is big biznatch in my area. One company here calls themselves "Doodie Free". Many are franchises, most are independent. Good money in it I suppose, as long as you are not a gagger and appreciate pets. After our last dog died, I vowed I would never scoop dog shit off the ground ever again! However, money is a great motivator ...

Anal About Poop's picture
l 100+ points
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Hey I just saw one of your trucks when I was out to lunch! I live in Dallas, TX. There was no fake poo on the back of this one.

atcelltech's picture
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I love it. Great write up!! I love it so much that I am going to link to it on my Ryan Newman Fan blog later tonight. Check it out!! Don't know if I was suppose to be laughing or not....BUT I WAS!!

http://ryannewmanfan.blogspot.com

Yahooz's picture
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You have crossed a line. Have a little pride at least.

Di Verticula's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Hey Yahooz! There is no shame in being paid to clean up dog shit and clean cat litter boxes. Ha! ... and they say all the illegal immigrants are taking jobs no one else in this country wants to do. What a load of pure bullshit that concept is. I don't see any illegals starting their own business in pet waste removal. There is also no shame in this hardworking guy making a joke out of it by sculpting the Big Doo Doo. He's getting press, and press will lead to more clients, and more clients will lead to more $$$$$. He's making light of the fact that most people, YOU, would never shovel shit for a living. My daughter shovels shit, horse shit, and she probably makes more money in one month than you make in six.

Tink's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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I agree with Dung Daddy ... you rock.


_______
Faith, trust and a little pixie dust ...

Faith, trust and a little pixie dust ...

Fecally Fred's picture
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With a job like that, you had BETTER have a sense of humor. Check out the website. http://www.petbutler.com These folks have plenty of pride. (Did I mention a sense of humor?)

Pat papa  Kelly's picture
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For over twenty years I have been an entreprenuer owning 3 franchise systems I gave then all up to become an Entre-manure. I love marketing and as a marketer I should be able to market anything. What is more fun and challenging than to market Poop removal.

I have more fun and make more people smile in this business than any of the others. I look forward to making piles dooing this. If any one is looking it is any excellent opportunity.
Our CEO (Cheif Extrement Officer) Red Boswell has put a great concept and team together. We have former Ambassadors, Lawyers, Bakers, Real Estate Agents, leaving those vocations to become Professinal Fecal Matter removal Technicians.

We all learned at Poop University that we are not to cool to get the Stool. What we doo with Brown, well it smells like money to me,

Pat

Di Verticula's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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WTG, Pat. Find a need, and fill it. You chose a profession most people would not, and that means more money for you. >^..^<

Mary Queen of Scats's picture
l 100+ points
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Great thinking Pat!

Hope your franchise does a lot of "business."

P.S. The garden gnomes had me giggling like a little girl.

_______
What do you mean you didn't see it? It was right next to the toilet!

Bad kitty! Bathtubs are NOT litterboxes!

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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"I don't see any illegals starting their own business in pet waste removal."

They've tried but the pets keep coming up missing.

I wonder, do you charge by the pound, by the hour, by the critter or is it a flat fee i.e. a lone Shit Zu costs as much as a pack of well-fed Turdweilers?
_______
Deja Poo - Because this shit's so strange, it couldn't ever have happened before.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Mary Queen of Scats's picture
l 100+ points
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I wondered the same thing Deja.

I went to the site for Pet Butler and typed in the area code for Beverly Hills (90210). Maybe it's not the best example of normal pricing, but it did say that they charge by the number of dogs, and you get a discount if you have them come more than once a week.

If we had a franchise in my area, I'd for sure have them come and do the kitty litter box swap (I HATE doing it!!).

_______
What do you mean you didn't see it? It was right next to the toilet!

Bad kitty! Bathtubs are NOT litterboxes!

Ben parker's picture
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For the sin of reading the Sindo, read the next ten issues of the Messenger of the Sacred Heart followed by one issue of Ireland’s Own. And promise, with a firm purpose of amendment, not to do it again.

Push n Clog's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Lol - definately caught my eye :)
I think it's a brilliant idea!
yay for poop!


_______
To clog or not to clog...
too late - already clogged.

My dream: to design and build the ultimate shredder toilet that will never, ever clog.

David A Wright in love's picture
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On a long spiritual journey I discovered the state between reality and chaos that we are in. It is a place on a point of love with a lot of branches shooting out to make a little platform.

It kind of looks like a toilet. I lightly made up a story about "this is doo doo one calling doo doo two do you read me..." please don't get us flushed down the drain again...

"this is doo doo two... I hear you doo doo one... It's just that i am so comfortable with all of this corn floating around..."

"doo doo two please don't go for the comfort, we have to get real in love to get out of the toilet bowl before they flush... do you understand doo doo two...

Life is kind of funny... real love though is what our creed is about... thanks for taking on a tough job...

Poot rebel report...

David aka Luke Airfreshener... aka Dark Pooter

Bohica's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Mind boggling. You dreamed this up while sitting in church? Bravo! May your business prosper. (Don't forget to tithe, though). How about a couple of foot-long flies enjoying the sumptuous repast....?
_______
The last of the Bohicans.

The Last of the Bohicans.

Bohica's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Hmmmm.... I wonder if you could come up with some sort of fuel additive to give your vehicle's exhaust that wonderful 'Just-Stepped-On' aroma.
_______
The last of the Bohicans.

The Last of the Bohicans.

phatmanxxl's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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I was thinkin of being a poo picker too. Call my business "poopcrew"

Dr Jones's picture
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Beware!!
I have been a victim as well as have knowledge of others that have had first hand knowledge of how Pet Butler/Boswell uses business practices that are unethical and illegal. I feel someone should be investigating the way they do business. I am ready to blow the lid off this company with documented proof of mentioned actions by this company.

asiansprinkles1's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Oh my God. Genius.

I want one of those t-shirts!

Blind Mullet's picture
k 500+ points
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I think this beats the old picture of the skeleton sitting on the shitter, with the slogan "don't wait this long for a plumber".
_______
I don't bite my nails, 'cause I don't like the taste of whats under 'em.

The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points
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Greatidea. I hope this biz holds up in the down turn. Would not want to see all of your hard work go to waste on into the toilet.

DRP222's picture
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Sir, Talk about a business going to S--T. I love the idea. I remember the yellow and blue hats on top of the NAPA parts trucks. Wasn't it ORKIN that had bugs on their trucks? I can only imagine the paper hauler. Take care.