You owe that doctor because you were one seriously fucked up kid. How the hell do people get like this...............................

Its a shame that people can not be comfortable with the act of taking a nice healthy crap. In your case frog, you were fortunate to be cured of this when you were much younger. Everett I couldnt agree with you more frog owes that doctor. Frog keep right on shittin and a flushin KUDOS.
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

Thank you Crunchy for your story. You have shed some light on a similar shituation in my family. I have a younger cousin, his about 10, that holds his poo for days. He's not always successful at it and ends up smelling like a latrine. You're lucky that your mom took such vigilant care of you and the doctor took decisive action. I don't know what fucked up quack they took my little cousin to but they were told that it was okay and normal for some kids.
So let this be a lesson to new parents out there. It is NEVER okay for your kid to purposely hold his shit.

Sometimes we need some tough love to make it through a problem.The doctor gave you some tough love up the poop shoot.

C'mon CEP. Sure he was fucked up, but he was a little kid. Little kids have a rough go of figuring things out. Their brains work just as well - if not better than adult brains, but they have way less experience to go by. They're on their own really.

Fear and shame and even their own bodies are mysteries and hold entirely different perceptions for little kids than for adults. Try to think back, man.

Congratulations, Frogg, on licking a childhood demon.

I'm not saying it's the kid's fault. When kids have fucked up brains, 99% of the time it is because of the parents.

I guess my parents were normal as far as poop goes. I can't imagine having the kinds of issues some of these people do(o).

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It's YOUR cat, YOU get his poop out of my sink!

CEP is right. Why would little kids feel ashamed or afraid pooping, unless their parents had taught them to be?

I'm not saying that parents do it on purpose, but we need to check ourselves to make sure we're not saying or doing something that will give our children the wrong impression about something or someone. That may help most parents.

Sometimes it's all the kid's fault, though. There are some messed up kids out there with decent parents.

Actually guys, I was brought up in a very healthy environment where my parents were concerned and in until this day, my Mum doesn't know what caused me to behave thus. My Dad died 10 years back and he was a very open shitter and farter as is my Mum. I'm told this period of development is perfectly normal as it's called The Anal Stage and most kids go through it though less drastically than me perhaps but as people rarely discuss these issues, who knows? What I do know is I've experienced healthy shitting and farting for 25 years now (I'm 33) so it's all good.

My son, who is adhd, starting holding his poo at a very young age (4 or 5), because it was more fun to play than go take a crap. Eventually, due to the build up of feces...poo would come out all on it's own and fall out of his underpants and onto the floor. My friend and I, without my son hearing of course, after spotting this thing would say "somebody dropped a sausage patty on the floor."

Now my son is 10 and the problem has gotten much worse. It has been over 3 weeks since his last BM. He is a very thin boy with the stomach of a pregnant woman. Due to the monsterous mass he has lodged inside he is having what his doctor calls overflow. Liquid is coming out all on it's own. We have had to resort to pull-ups, because he was soiling 6-10 pair of underpant a day. He can't go to school.
He has been on a double dose of Miralax for 5 days and nothing. I gave him a suppository today trying to speed things up. After an hour, all he has managed to rid himself of is the equivelant of an extremely wet fart...nothing solid whatsoever.
His idiotic pediatrician says give it time! Time for what to blow up and end the world? I am fearful of what may come out.

I tell you what, I bet if I send him to Iraq to take his dookie...the war will end..we win!!!

I hate to keep linking to my own story, but this seems to be a big topic on the site right now. I recently had to help out a friend of mine whose 13 year-old daughter went to the hospital after holding her poop for a month.

Believe me, folks, this kind of behavior can manifest some serious psychological issues. Without making a big deal about it, I just ask Little Dumpster, my 11 year-old son, every couple of days when is the last time he made "Mr. Brown." Usually I know, because he tells me when he's going off to do it. But often, when he complains of a headache or an upset stomach, constipation turns out to be the problem, and I just make him go sit until something comes out.

Ah, the joys of parenting!

I guess one good thing about the "Ragged" family tradition of child "rearing" (see previous) is that you never get yourself imto this kind of shituation - you learn very quickly that bad things will happen to you if you withold your doos.

btchboyer-what are your thoughts about "tough love" in regards to your sons situation? I have a 3 year old whom I am having a seriously hard time potty training, so I'm not saying I know what the right thing to do is. I have found however that taking away her tv time if she refuses to use the potty has given her a little motivation. I take it away with the first accident of the day,(yes, the day!) and give it back when she uses the toilet like a person is supposed to. It's amazing how quickly she jumps on the toilet and does her stuff. But in her case she is just fighting change I think. She has used the toilet many times, she knows how, she just doesn't want to. The doc says it's partly because of our new baby. My daughter will take any attention she can,even negative since she was used to being the big cheese. Maybe like this woman, a doctor administered enema would "cure" your son? Just a thought.

This is actually a common issue among children 3-10: psychologically-caused constipation and subsequent incontinence. It's called "encopresis." It does nobody any good to blame the parents -- like any psychological issue, it's the result of a number of complex and often unique issues working on the child's mind in tandem.

I came across a really good article describing the problem a few years ago: "Memoirs of a 'Poop Lady'" by Angela Riccelli. You have to pay $5 to read it online, unfortunately, but if you go to the library you can probably find it for free. (It's from the 3/22/03 issue of the journal Families, Systems & Health.)

Crunchy Frog is right -- it does occur during the Anal Stage of psychosexual development. To quote myself from my upcoming book:

"The anal stage, which usually coincides with potty training in Western societies, can take two forms. In each, the child experiences both pleasure and conflict centered in the anal area. The difference lies in how the pleasure and conflict occur: whether through pooping out, or through holding in. The former is more likely if the parents are supportive of the child during potty training, encouraging her as she learns to save her poop for the toilet and cheering her when she does. The latter is more likely if difficult potty training turns the bathroom into a site of conflict with her parents. Then the child is more likely to hold in her poop as long as she can, to avoid the bathroom as much as possible.

"Fixations in the anal stage tend to occur at either extreme of the potty training spectrum. If the parents excessively mollycoddle and extravagantly reward the child during toilet training, she may grow to think of herself as queen of the house, and of her parents as loyal subjects who adore even her poop. Fixation for this child means expecting nothing but this kind of treatment. As an adult, she'll exhibit what Freud called an "anal-expulsive" character -- assertive, demanding, rebellious, and temperamental.

"At the opposite extreme is the child whose parents pressure, punish, or humiliate her in their efforts to teach bowel control. Perhaps they believe that early potty training is a sign of intelligence, and want their kid to reach that milestone before their friends' kids; or perhaps they are just sick of dirty diapers. But the nerves that allow a child to control her sphincter don't fully develop until around the twentieth month -- so if the child is not ready, then potty training isn't going to work. This might turn the bathroom into a site of yelling, crying, and frustration in a child physically unable to do what her parents ask. As the child's sphincter nerves do develop, she might find that holding in her poop is a way to avoid the bathroom. In addition to chronic constipation that might develop to further compound the problems, the child will retain the expectation that holding things in can avoid confrontation. As an adult, she'll exhibit an "anal-retentive" character -- constricted, introverted, perfectionist, obsessive, neurotic."

Dave- you're scaring the crap out of me! Not literally. I wrote the comment about having a hard time potty training my 3 year old. I have tried both rewarding with gifts, even expensive gifts, and yelling I'm ashamed to say. My daughter is 3 1/2. She knows what to do. She just refuses. I really honestly believe she doesn't want anymore changes in our house since the new baby 11 weeks ago. I don't want this to affect her in any of the ways you said. I will buy your book, but do you have any suggestions to help me right now?

Kate -- I don't know enough about psychology to give you many ideas. It sounds like your 3 year old isn't experiencing encopresis, but rather a desire for attention, like you said. Still, I'd google "encopresis" if you're worried -- there are resources and support forums that will have a lot better ideas than I can give you.

I can't wait to read Dave's book. However, I can simplify potty training for all of you. When LD got to be six and was still messing up his pants, I just started beating his ass every time he did it. It only took about twice, and he hasn't had an "accident" in five years.

Thing One was potty trained in 2 days as far as going number one, but when it came to number two, it took 3 weeks. He was, according to a great children's psychology book, a "constipated nonpooper". This book suggested the kid affected was AFRAID HE OR SHE WAS LOSING PARTS OF THEIR INTERNAL ORGANS OR BLEEDING TO DEATH WHEN THEY POOPED. Just like this little guy felt.

All I had to do was continue to talk about the "poo" as its own entity, not something Thing One had made. We talked about letting the poo go where it wanted, which was in the potty, and that's where it should be.

The book also suggested that this happens during some potty trainings because it's the first time the child feels the poop fall away from their body instead of being held in the diaper. It scares the kid to death.

I'm not sure if the parents are at fault for the kid feeling this way, but they are at fault for not doing something about it.

In a case where a child is terrified of something, I don't think tough love works. The best way to solve the problem may very well be addressing the kid's fears and then putting things into perspective for the appropriate age your child is. Well, it worked for us.

There are numerous reasons why a kid holds poop in. Maybe, as the mom, my job was to figure out why Thing One was doing it.

Thanks for sharing, Crunchy Frog. I had one of those cranes, too. It was yellow and black, and my brother used to send Wacky Wafers to each other up and down the stairs with it.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

My son is now on day 8 of Miralax. I gave him a Fleets enema yesterday and nothing solid came out. His abdomen is still very distended. I'm wondering, how is it possible to not poo after an enema?? I am waiting for his doc to call me back now. If he doesn't do anything I may take him to the ER. I am very worried about him being backed up this long, damn near a month since his last BM.

Dave and Daphne, have you any advice on how to deal with a 3.5 year old who, given the chance, will always start witholding her doodoos and making herself constipated? She knows (roughly!) how the digestive system works - and she doesn't have any siblings to be jealous of. She's not a fussy eater - and having had enemas and suppositories before she should be motivated to go to the toilet as soon as the urge strikes.

The doc now has my son taking 3 capfuls of Miralax.

I finaly found a Pediatric Gastro doc about an hour and a half away from here. We have an appt tomorrow. I'll keep ya posted.

This weekend my son starts on Magnesium Citrate, 8 oz for 2 days. I hear that's going to be fun!

I hope you ran all your errands on Friday!

I gave my son 8 oz of MC last night. It's been 18 hours and absolutely nothing. Has anyone known of this not to work? He has another bottle to drink tonight. Hopefully that will get him moving. It's been over a month now and I am freaking out.

Call your doctor. STAT.

Try giving your non-pooping kids some prune or apple juice and make them swallow a tablespoon of olive oil in addition to their laxitive regimen. If that doesn't get the intestinal tract flowing then you're going to need some serious help.

17 and i still do the frog :|
ashameful and i still dance and hold in story

how do i resolve this because it is freaking the shit(no pun intended) out of me?

i dont wantto keep stinkin the house...m family is havin enough of it...mymum knows but she thinks its healed...how do i sort it out?

It seems very rarely mentioned, but holding your poop can be pleasureable for some. As a youngster - maybe 12, I had normal BM, but found that sometimes when I had the urge to go, but held it back, it gave me a pleasureable sensation, not actually sexual, but pleasant nevertheless. As a result I sometimes found later that I had unexpectantly soiled my pants. So this did become a bit of an occaisional habit, that I didn't grow out of until years after. It was mainly through the conscious decision to keep my nickers clean, as I was sick of it. I doubt that pre pubescent kids would have these feelings. Prior to my teens I only had the rare accident due to the usual wet farts, or attack of diarrhea when too far from a public facility - I think?
Anyway, it was no big deal to me. The urge to go will usually pass, if you hold on, as eveyone would know. And if I had an urgent need, I would not hold off going of course. I attach below a reference to my point in an article titled " Encopresis and Anal Masturbation" - though I think masturbation is too strong a term:

Current pediatric and psychiatric studies on encopresis and its treatment are heavily influenced by mechanical, physiological, and behavioral considerations. Although psychodynamic treatment has generally been considered to be of little benefit, and its findings suspect, the authors suggest that a psychodynamic approach adds substantially to the understanding of some cases of encopresis; that the anal sensations and anal erotic feelings reported by a number of encopretic children are intense, and that the encopretic symptom, soiling, in these children is the result of a conscious form of anal masturbation in which the fecal mass is used for stimulation; and that any study of encopresis is incomplete that does not include what encopretic children...

Of course it would be hard to find a teen willing to admit this reason for pooing his pants!

Encopresis and the connection to anal "masturbation" is DEAD on! I'm 18 now, and it's still pleasurable for me. I'm not shitting my pants day in day out, but all through my childhood, I gave in and leaked because the pleasure was so irresistable from holding in. Maybe I'm a rare case, but I think it's likely not as rare as one may think, given the very embarrassing nature of the problem. Like above said, who is going to explain an already embarrassing problem - soiling - with yet another layer of anal masturbation on top of it? But that's what it the whole of my problem is. I suspect it is for "many" others as well.

Followup: Also, the look of someone going through encopresis/anal masturbation is unmistakable. I think I once actually was talking to a ~6th grader, who suddenly fell silent, and started going through very familiar statue-torso and plugging throes. It was eery, I didn't get any responses about it, but I think know what they were doing, because I've done it too.

I used to hold my poop in the past but I didn't feel any pleasure doing it, and don't understand how it is possible!

Just because you auto-masturbated with your shit doesn't mean all of us retentive poopers did the same!

I just thought shitting was gross (and still do), especially the wiping part, so I started holding it in and shitting only 1-2 times a week. Having to wipe 30 minutes to 1 hours after every single shit you take is NOT fun.
I washed my hands like crazy afterwards too, obsessed about getting rid of the smell...

I envy the people who have such good shits they only take 1 piece of TP to clean...

AC, check your diet. It's possible the reason your shits are so messy is because you are ingesting too much fat and oil. That, in combination with high sugar and little water leads to some wicked sticky poop. The average American fast food diet is not a healthy one.

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Born right the first time.