College Pooping 101: The Four Poopers Of The Girls' Bathroom

// // 144 Comments
m 1+ points - Newb
0
0

First day of college. We've all been there. You just moved in. It took four carts, but most of your important possessions are finally safely stored in your new closet, sometimes referred to as dorm. Your parents just left, but not before taking you to one of the finest restaurants in town. There you order your last real dish of food. Your last morsel of mashed potatoes. As you wave your parents goodbye, the harsh reality hits you. No, not the fact that you won't be seeing your family for months to come; and no, not the bone-crushing fear of massive amounts of text to read; what hits you is the sudden urge to drop a load into the porcelain Jacuzzi.

So you walk to your dorm and then something else hits you. Not only are there four toilets, but hark -- you share them with twenty of your closest friends. Strutting into the bathroom, you glance about at the strangers. All of the stalls are barren, doors swung open, welcoming and inviting. "Come on in," they cry. "The water's great!" There are some girls looking into the mirrors and a couple even decided to brave the showers; but there are a few -- a rare few -- who are just standing there, staring, desperately trying to figure out what to do. You are one of them. Part of the crowd who fears what all of humanity has done since the beginning of time: the fine art of passing poop.

There are four types of shitters in the college world. And each of them is boldly represented on my floor. The first group, the largest group, are those who are unable to shit. It's just beyond feasible to them. You know this group. They are the ones who set their alarm clocks to have a middle of the night rendezvous with the bowl. They quietly tiptoe out of the room and into the bathroom where, much to their surprise (come on ladies, what's the real surprise?) there is already someone in there taking advantage of the silent shit. It's beyond perfection -- midnight shitting -- truly the only much-needed one-on-one time that you desperately need to have more frequently with yourself. These girls are big fans of the "lean back, flush, and quickly poo while the water makes a ridiculous amount of noise" tactic. This works terrifically as long as your intent was to both disguise the noise of pooping and to attract as much attention to yourself as possible.

A fairly small percentage of this group never has to worry if they can't hit the toilet at the right moment. They are the type who go home every weekend to "do their laundry," which we all know is code for "take a giant-ass dump;" and who can blame them? They've got it all. Blue freshness in their toilet water, a silent room, reading material, even the fresh scent of flowers to brighten them up as they leave. Its poo-fection, if you will.

Secondly, you have a smaller group of those who will poop in public (these people are usually the ones whose homes are really far away). But they tend to do it in uncharted lands. That's right, the ladies on the honors floor. They practically never shit. They are always into their studies, and who the hell cares if you take a shit in their bathroom -- they don't know who you are. These are the type of people who can only shit with really close friends and complete strangers. It's the role of acquaintances that really fuck 'em.

Third. This very, very small group contain the girls who don't normally shit. You know these girls as the ones with the anorexic meal plan and Abercrombie tee shirts. They usually also have giant sequined bags and a tendency to puke in the showers on Thursday and Saturday nights. They've got their bases covered -- because without eating, and drinking only to puke, their bodies completely forget to shit. Classic.

Fourth, and the group with probably the healthiest intestines, are the girls who just let 'er rip. There are usually about three of them on the floor, and I'm putting money on the fact that they are lactose intolerant. That's right. Drink milk -- hell, even eat cheese -- and their ass hugs that bowl for hours. They have gotten so good at shitting in public that they think nothing of it. They are also the girls who think enough about shitting to value it as an important part of their day. Sometimes, they even write about it.

144 Comments on "College Pooping 101: The Four Poopers Of The Girls' Bathroom"

The Big Wiper's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Very interesting social commentary, and I'm not sure that some of this couldn't be applied to guys as well.
Particularly the let-er-rip faction.

But some guys are Shameful, too, as this site readily proves from the commentary over the years.

Erica, do you think that some girls try to live up to the ridiculous myth that girls don't poop? Or that they shit pretty, pink powder-puffs? We had a guy in our freshman dorm who absolutely insisted every chance he got that his girlfriend definitely only did those PPP's.

Nice article!

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Fart Poopie's picture
j 1000+ points

That's one of the reasons I didn't live in the dorms.

Fart Poopie's picture
j 1000+ points

I couldn't find the stories that were similar to this.
A new style of poop reporting?

http://www.biteycastle.com/nightShiftWindow.html

Pill Pooper's picture
PoopReport of the Year Awardk 500+ points

See.. Here it is AGAIN. Women and defecation just don't mix; especially hot little college girls! I've said it before and I'll say it again: women DO NOT poop. The poop fairy comes and takes it away. That's my story and I care not what you all say.

But seriously, I agree with TBW. This definately would also apply to guys. I think we all have friends who would fit into these same categories. Have you ever seen an extremely hot and popular girl be one of the "let 'er rip" type of shitters? I would suspect not but it's an interesting idea that someone who shamelessly shits (who is female) would be unpopular. Just a thought...

-Pill Pooper

C Everett Poop's picture
j 1000+ points

Interesting commentary. I hate to be a nitpicker but in para 1, its "possessions", not "positions"

Dave's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooper

Thanks for the catch. Fixed.

CC's picture

Don't discard your essay.You may be able to use it as a PHD(Poop Help Doctorate)thesis.You have a healthy attitude about pooping.

The Big Wiper's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Pill Pooper: I'm pretty sure there is no stigma attached to a guy being a Shameless Shitter. We joked about it all the time around my college dorm. We had suite bathrooms, and we all just barged in on each other all the time and thought nothing of it. In fact, the bathroom was the connector room between the two suites, and we usually just kept the doors wide open and did our business without worrying about who might pass through or be shaving at the sink or showering or whatever.

But your thought about whether or not a girl who is Shameless is somehow ostracized is intriguing. PR has it share of totally upfront female posters who seem very comfortable with not only talking about pooping but doing it where and when they have to (for the most part).

Would some of you female poopers care to take up Pill Pooper's thought there and give us yours?

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

I think Pill Pooper's commentary is a prime example of what is wrong with society. (No offense PP.) We are taught to believe what we see on TV with all the pretty movie stars, who never have hair under their arms, don't get pimples, and never, NEVER poop and fart. The media society's expectations are for all women to be perfect. No wrinkles, no love handles, no blemishes. The same applies to poop. Any woman who doesn't fit into the perfect mold is immediately referred to as "ugly" or "gross". Until we throw these images of females in society away, there will always be people out there who think that women don't poop and shouldn't talk about it.

In light of that subject, there is a dog sleeping next to my chair. I have to go and fart on her now.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Logjam's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Powerful reporting from the front line, Erica. Consider submitting updates throughout the semester as you learn more about these personalities. And good luck with your other studies.

Logjam

wonderpance's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

well, i do seem to remember Jesicca Simpson talking about poop all the time ("i need to drop the kids of at the pool!" "you love my stinky ass.") on her Newlyweds show. but she's not beautiful or extremely popular at all. nope, not one bit.

and yea, like Logjam, i'd like to see updates. will anyone change their attitudes over the course of the year? will waiting a whole week to poop be too much for some girls? i'd like to know!

i love poop.

Hairy Pooter's picture
l 100+ points

The part about how lactose intolerance leads to a particularly shameless (or at least fearless) breed of shitter is worth additional exploration. That those with digestional problems might have more relaxed attitudes toward pooping is an obvious link, but, as we poopreporters all know, pooping is more than pooping. It is an extension of oneself. I wonder what effects dietary issues have on social development. Do those with lactose intolerance or IBS have an easier time making friends, are they more compassionate, etc.

The Big Wiper's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Hairy, I don't have IBS or lactose intolerance, but I seem to recall some posts over on the Forums from people of both genders who have those conditions, and some of them seemed to be Shameful because of the noise and odor factor. Not to mention that they have this unpredictability in their lives which can sometimes lead to emergency situations.

I'm inclined to think that IBS and lactose intolerance make it more difficult for certain people to be Shameless. Perhaps posters with those conditions can enlighten us.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Poop Doggy Log's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

A great inside look at the bathroom habits of college women. I wonder how often this fear of embarassment leads to fecal impaction and other uncomfortable circumstances...not to mention its effect on the spontaneity of their dating lives (unless their partner is German I guess).

ike04's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

wow, thet was a great story, in my university days I had certain bathrooms scoped out that were always clean and always empty, I could open up my chem text sit down and have a propper 1/2 hour shit.

I was also lactose intollerant and did not know it (it can be brought on by growing up, or a bad case of the flu etc.) When you have to go as many times a day as me, you like to know the best places to take a dump.

runninggrrl2's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

Oh man, that was my dorm to a tee. I lived in an all-girls dorm. I was one of the people that always had to go at weird times when no one was in the bathroom. I always woke up early to run and that always led to a 6am crap. I knew exactly which bathrooms were deserted then and I'd go use those. People probably thought I never had to go. We also had a "puking" bathroom in our dorm...probably about a quarter of the girls there were bulimic, so it got a LOT of use. It wasn't labeled or anything, it was just known.

An apple a day keeps the ExLax away!

An apple a day keeps the ExLax away!

Splatterbuns's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Good commentary, but what became of the urge to dump? I take if from the last sentence that ultimately you didn't have any trouble adjusting to the new surroundings.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

I remember not having a problem taking a dump in our bathroom, but we had "suites", which were 4 tiny bedrooms, a livingroom, and a bathroom, and my suitemates were golden about avoiding the bathroom if you were in it.

I do remember walking into one of the guy's suites to go to dinner with some dude, and someone left the bathroom door open. Eric,t his big dude, was taking a major dump and absolutely freaked out. Wait, I think I'll post this in the forums....

Anyway, nice recap of college pooping lists. I agree with erica on most of it!.....hugging bunnies since 1969

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Anonymous Coward's picture

I remember the college days well. Women shitting was always this mystical idea that never seemed to happen. My buddies and I just didn't talk much about it, although we could sit around a movie and let 'em rip all night.

I used to drink a lot of Cokes and man they would give me monster gas - I didn't have a care in the world though.

My only experience with women shitting in college was going to a party in a female suite where there was a "common" bathroom between two suites. This one girl went in there and came back out teary eyed and said "Stupid bitch across the way, always drops ass when we're having a party". The stench was certainly memorable. The ladies were all freaking out about it too.

Can't wait to hear updates. My ex-girlfriend used to come over and drop ass all the time. I'll save that story for another time though.

In The Bushes's picture
l 100+ points

See, I lived in a dorm, and I never noticed any of this stuff! I guess I would agree that my digestive issues at the time just meant that I'd go anywhere, anytime (well, in a toilet, but you know what I mean...) and it never occured to me that other people were having so many problems using the dorm toilet. And I am not ugly or unpopular, and I talk about poop all the time and it's never chased anyone away, to answer those questions.

Sir Poops-A-Lot's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

A good PoopReport. I liked the style of characterizing the differnt groups of female poopers. Also, I noticed that 3 of the 4 groups either did not poop, or did not poop in front of others. Is this where the "girls do not poop" myth comes from?

Keri B's picture

Erica, as your roommate, I am truely proud. You have done women everywhere who shit freely true justice. I will forever enjoy sharing my stories with you. I finally know someone famous. Yey!

Shit monster's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

There is one thing you need to know about someone who is lactose intolerant, they are usually shameless because they poop many times in public places and so they are very used to it

(insert ziggy boogy doog here)

Anonymous Coward's picture

As a matter of fact Im a very pretty college girl and I have lots of friends. Not to mention I have IBS and Im lactose. I have no shame saying I have to shit. Lots of people love me because Im open and very extremly honest. I think if guys can do it so can very attractive women. Who gives a shit what other people think!!!

Anonymous Coward's picture

Ladies! Do not fear shitting in public! Men LOVE it when the myth of women dropping soup is removed! It for sure shows the human side in women...guys, women do shit, and it stinks! Best way to find out, is to go to a sorority party!

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Yeah, but at a sorority party, are you sure it's the poop in the toilet and not the poop that comes from their gossipy mouths?

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

shy pooper's picture

I was one of the most she poopers in college. I can remember not going for a couple day. But it was like my body knew I was shy about it and I didnt get the urge to go until I was on the way home to go. I would let those dry, airy, silant farts all day though and that was telling me I had to poop.

Cracktacular's picture
l 100+ points

Well done. I find this to be a very honest accounting of university shit life.

Crack kills

1 tall pooper's picture

Hmmm maybe now I understand why I wasn't as popular as other cute girls -- I shat when I had to. My mom read Dr. Spock who taught that poop is like art and when you're a kid you become attached to it. So, we were taught to 'wave goodbye to our tooties', so that we would not get TOO attached.
Also, I think these anal-retentive sorority girls need to go take a crap in the great outdoors. It gets you in touch with your animal need to shit.

Arctic Turd's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Thanks for writing this! I'm off to Uni next fall and (since I've found and joined here!) I've been thinking about my first post-secondary turd adventure!

I feel so much better being reminded that big girls shit too.

mott the poople's picture
l 100+ points

I like girls that poop. Especially when they are proud of it, or warn you "don't go in there for a while". And if they fart in front of me and smile, a new level of friendship is reached. Extra points if they lean to one side and grimace...=}

Asphincter says WHAT...(!)

Asphincter says WHAT...(!)

visitor's picture

Allright, I dont belive that girl visiting this site, it's a fake! This site is very uknown for girls visiting!
Now, I say my opinion; I can imagine that ordinary man shitting, but hot young girls I cant, many popular TV girls or young popular singers doesnt look like someone whos shitting! Some guys on this forums cant confest to self that some girls dont pooping because is disturbing him.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

Dude, there are quite a few uberpoopers on this site that happen to be wimins.

We poop, and we frequent this site. I swear.

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points

TBW writes about "girls [who] shit pretty, pink powder-puffs...." What is the origin of this phrase, which I see all over the site? Is it a TBW original? When and where was it first used?

A little bit of PR history worth preserving!

The Big Wiper's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

I first posted this phrase in a story on the Forums.

Came out of a true college dorm experience.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points

TBW's forum post referred to above is one of the most interesting threads I've read in a long time, with lots of good comments by some very smart people.

I like posting forum links. I wish more people would visit the forums. It is sort of like wandering around in the Poop Library of Congress!

AssBlaster2000's picture
PoopReport of the Year Awardj 1000+ points

I never weighed in on this thread and Pill Pooper's comment the first time. I'm a shameless shitter, and while I'm not a total butt-ugly loser, let's say I have "a few choice friends" and "I have better things to worry about than how my hair and clothes look." I think that at least up until a certain age, there is a correllation between Shameless Shitting and social standing for women. When I was in college I lived in a dorm full of dorks; however there were a few non-dorks mixed in. When I was taking a shit in the dorm occasionally someone else would be taking a crap next to me, as there were only 2 crappers on our floor for 15 people. The others who would crap were always one of the other dorks. I NEVER saw or got any indication of one of the non-dorks taking a crap.

The same thing goes at work today. I've never seen anyone younger and/or prettier than me in the womens' room while it smells like crap in there, and there are plenty of both at my large workplace. I'd bet that this phenomenon goes away by the age of 35 or so, though.

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points

AB2K writes, "I've never seen anyone younger and/or prettier than me in the womens' room...."

Or in any other room, for that matter, I'll wager!

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

Here it is: stupid question of the day. Is the password for the forums the same as your sign in password? 'Cuz mine doesn't work. But I'd go there if I could; I would, really! Unfortunately, I am functionally PC illiterate. :(

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

And "Visitor"--Where'd you get the idea that this site is "very uknown (sic) for girls visiting"? Outnumbered, maybe. But I'm a woman, and have very much enjoyed myself here since I happened across the site (purely by accident, but that's another story). In fact, my HUSBAND is the one who would never, ever read or post here. Which just CRACKS me up, but I respect his shamefullness, because I love 'im.

But your notion gives way to a question: Are most households comprised of 1 shameless + 1 shamefull, and does the demarkation follow gender lines? Hmmmn.....

Dave's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooper

Is the password for the forums the same as your sign in password?

It is not. Separate systems. You nee to register anew in the forums.

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

Gotcha. Thanks.

AssBlaster2000's picture
PoopReport of the Year Awardj 1000+ points

"But your notion gives way to a question: Are most households comprised of 1 shameless + 1 shamefull, and does the demarkation follow gender lines? Hmmmn....."

Maybe, GGG, if you want to know the answer to that, you could create a poll for that question (see mine for format guidelines), send it to me, (I don't give out my email address publicly, just use the personal contact form in my profile) and I will put it up. I do the work and you get the userpoints. Deal?

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

Okey, dokey, AB! :)

no shame in it male's picture

Every girl I have ever dated I have made feel comfortable enough to fart in front of me,be open about having to take a number 2,and definetly use my bathroom for that purpose.And for the record they have been normal, attractive(not that it should matter), socially skilled people. I have no idea where this STUPID idea comes from that women don't shit. And even more disturbing many girls help reinforce this misconception. Why do guys give other guys high fives when they fart but the thought of their girl friends letting one go is considred taboo. I don't get it!
I have always prided myself on making the women in my life know that its not only okay to talk about and acknowlede these bodily functions in whatever light they see fit but its the way it ought to be. For example, letting me know that the meal we just had out is going to go right through her and I need to pull over and find a bathroom, or her ripping one and then laughing together about or that look of relaxation as she tells me how much better she feels after taking a giant dump. They have the same digestive system as we do! How bout them apples! I couldn't imagine my lady having to keep these things secret from me. I have always found correcting this misconception to them breaks down at least one unnecessary barrier that exists in relationships. Ladies,not all guys buy into this B.S. please know its okay to acknowledge your bodily functions those who find it wierd are immature and have their own hang ups. I don't have some crazy fetish I just have always felt strongly about this. It just goes hand in hand with my respect for women.

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points

No Shame, I agree with you, but in answer to your question about where the idea comes from that women don't shit, it comes from situations like this and this.

Why not become a registered user? You sound like you have a lot to add.

_______
"Say, has anybody seen my sweet Gypsy Rose Volcano?"

Bunghole In the Jungle's picture
l 100+ points

This story rings so true. I started out living in the dorms and the set up was such that shower facilities were separate from the toilet sink areas. There would be a common half bath separating two dorm rooms with just the toilet and sink. I swear I was the only one of the four girls who shared that half bathroom who shit. Then again I wasn't often in the dormitory--usually only to sleep, showe and change.

I supposed that places me in the Category Four. Loud and proud!

keeping the whack in tally-ho...
Fartuituos!
Serenshittipy!

AssBlaster2000's picture
PoopReport of the Year Awardj 1000+ points

No Shame, I think I love you.

To read that comment is to know Mr. Blaster's outlook on female pooping also. It might sound stupid but I don't think I could have married him if he felt any other way.

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points

Damn, No Shame, to have captured AB2K's heart in one fell swoop. You have NO IDEA what you have accomplished, man!

DOO stay with us!

_______
"Say, has anybody seen my sweet Gypsy Rose Volcano?"

no shame in it's picture

I appreciate the feedback. I'm glad there are other guys such as Mr. Blaster that share my outlook. But none the less in every relationship I've been in I realize there are not enough women exposed to healthy attitudes toward their bodily functions. One true mark of being a gentleman is the ability to show your lady that they should be comfortable around you and not feel they have to hide their bodily functions and be in discomfort alot in the name of the superficial image of being lady like. A woman is just as a beautiful, attracitive and as much a lady when she has to fart and is being real with you when she tells you to pause the movie because she's gotta go and smiles and says "see you in 20 minutes." After comming across this websight last night and reading a couple of links that The Dumpster had pointed out to me I had a discussion with a couple buddies of mine and they confirmed how firmly engrained this squimish attitude is in guys about girls. I don't know why I seem to be the odd man out on this subject. There is no better experience in my relationships when the lady in my life tests me to see if I'm for real about this by finally passing gas around me or reluctantly telling me what that pizza did to her the next morning and I laugh and she starts to laugh albeit with a bit of a cute blush and I kiss her to tell her that I'm thrilled she opened up this way to me. And from that point on we know both know we have achieved one level of intimacy that perhaps would be unusual to some but is so important for so many reasons.

Post new comment

  • Allowed HTML tags: s:62:"<em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <br>";
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.

More information about formatting options

CAPTCHA
This question is for testing whether you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.
Image CAPTCHA
Enter the characters shown in the image.
To prevent automated spam submissions leave this field empty.