T, my heart goes out to you. What an ordeal! Left hand on the street in a 2-g suit. The thing you said about the Japanese and their buttons is funny -- that was my experience too. I accidentally pressed the "spray" button to flush and well, I was soaked. I heard stories about toilets in Beijing and yours, by far, is the best.

i have an "Asian Poop Story" for you. nothing compared to the horrors above, but it's the best one i have to offer:

while serving in the United States Army, i was sent to Saudi Arabia and Iraq for Operations Desert Shield and Desert Storm. in Saudi, the terrain was terrific for digging foxholes and bunkers: lots and lots of deep sand. i still remember the night they came around to tell us we started bombing Baghdad, while reclining on the "sofa" i had carefully carved.

once we moved up into Iraq, the terrain changed: lots of jagged rocks and only a foot or so of sand before hitting solid rock. when it came time to dig our foxholes, we couldn't dig deep enough, so we had to increase the circumference in order to get enough sand to fill bags, pile them up, then put plywood on top for a roof. it was only about 3 feet from bottom to top. very uncomfortable.

one day while on guard duty, the urge hit me. i had to go NOW. i tried to hold it, but knew i'd never make it back to camp. finally, when we could see our replacements coming up the hill, i told the guy with me to head back and i'd stay to officially change the guard. that gave me a 2-minute window to do my business. the second he left, i assessed the situation and went into MacGyver mode. i fumbled with my BDU pants and got them down just in time while simultaneously reaching for an empty MRE bag. squatting very awkwardly, i aligned the bag below my ass and let loose. thank goodness MRE's make for some very solid crap, b/c i totally missed the bag. the 7 incher slid out, clung to the side of the bag for a moment, then slammed to the ground. i turned my back and saw the other guards were only about 30 feet away. Panic-stricken, i grabbed the turd with a leather glove, shoved it into the bag and had just finished buttoning my pants when they entered the bunker. they kind of looked at me for a second as i grabbed my shit (literally) and got the hell out of there.

finally, a place to share my best “War Story” with the world! anyway, it's all true.

THIS SOUNDS HORRIBLE POOR GUYS

I would loveto eat some fine italian dressing coated with shit.... enjoy your indoor plujbinkid!!!

Semper paratus (sp?)
Living in Japan has taught me to have tissues and something to wash my hands on hand at all times.
Just hope you didnt catch anything T-bone

Happy trails,
L. Wrong
http://ppkindustries.blogspot.com

And to think I've been pissed when someone at work is using my favorite stall...

This is an interesting read. It makes me appreciate the amenities we Americans take for granted.

No kidding! It makes me never, ever want to visit Asia. That sounds sad, too. That I wouldn't visit somewhere because their toilets aren't good enough for me. Jaded, I guess.

I suppose if I could just stay inside the hotel, I'd be okay, but then what's the point of visiting a foreign place? No, I WOULD go, I WILL, taking a suitcase full of ziplocs and wipeys!

_______
I CAN'T go to work today. The voices said to stay home and clean the guns!

Funny you would use the term "jaded" when referring to the good ole US of A. Asia is famous for Jade and it was considered the "royal gem" in China. Jade was coveted by all facets of society and was actually used in slang as a reference to a womans genitals (The Jade Gate).

You really sound like a shamefull shitter.

All in all, after reading this, I will take a good ol' U.S. restroom any day of the week.
_______
I am winter's hurricane, I am the great blizzard of 1899, and no body shall be exempt from my wrath.

That is some list to check; before going. I think I like our options here in the good ol' USA.
Producing waste since 1967