Japanese Women: The Ultimate Shameful Shitters

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m 1+ points - Newb
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My wife is Japanese, and from her I've learned about Japanese toilets. Not sure if you've seen any Japanese facilities, but they often have all kinds of cool features that folk (such as PoopReport readers) who enjoy the ritual of the number two would surely covet.

For instance, they often have washlets -- kind of a built-in bidet, but so much more. Upon the press of a button, a small spray-head emerges to clean you up. Washlets even have different functions/positions for men and women, and I believe that some of these also have driers (although I've yet to experience such a delight).












Three examples of washlets. I'm jealous.





Arguably better, though, is what I witnessed at the house of a friend of my wife -- the remote control toilet. Yes, they have a remote handset that you can use while perched on the seat (or anywhere else) to access any of the functions -- washing, flushing etc.

But in spite of all their advances, I have reason to believe that Japanese women are the ultimate Shameful Shitters. When my wife (then fiancé) moved in with me, I noticed that whenever she used the toilet, two (or sometimes more) flushes emanated from the bathroom. Feigning pseudo-mock environmental concern, I eventually found the nerve to ask her about this.

As you may know, many Japanese folk are too shy or reserved to talk about things such as bathroom activity. But she did manage to tell me that it was because she was embarrassed about the inevitable noises. Therefore, she flushed before using the toilet to mask the noise of taking a pee or a poo.

I asked her if this was something personal to her, or a common trait of Japanese women; she replied the latter. She then told me that the folks who make public toilets in Japan cottoned on to this, and also had environmental concerns about water wastage. They came up with a device that is installed in many public ladies' rooms that, at the press of a button, plays a recording of the toilet being flushed -- so you can mask whatever noises you might be making without wasting any water.

If this is the ultimate in Shameful Shitting, does acknowledging it with the mock-flushing device make it better or worse?

-- Matthew W.

(She also told me that their efforts were partly wasted because sometimes the mock flush is so unconvincing that women often resort to a real flush, even when a flush simulator is installed.)

35 Comments on "Japanese Women: The Ultimate Shameful Shitters"

Tydirium's picture
k 500+ points
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they're so shameful... but their porn is so graphic. I guess one goes right with another... like Nashville: most churches and most porn stores per square mile of any US city.

Jeff B's picture
l 100+ points
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I recall reading an article about 15 years ago regarding a tribe in Africa. The tribe found the noise emitted from a bowel movement to be unsettling so they took up the custom of banging two rocks together (white noise) as they relieved themselves. My friend and I thought this was intriguing and to this day whenever I'm at his place and have the urge to "drop a duece" I tell him I'm going to go "bang some rocks".

Vatfryer's picture
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The Japenese always were smarter than us -- this just proves it.

>'s picture
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I've heard about these "mock flush" noise makers before, maybe read it in some poo friendly rag... dont remember. I think the whole thing is a backlash against what it is were striving toward. Why support it? Why not just hold in our poo (like I did when I was little, until the urge just went away) and get belly tyed like that brother Gibb? Fuck it. No. I love my pooing sounds. Down with mock flushy sounds!!

josh's picture
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when i shit, its noisy, i sometimes yell or the sound of a fart blows everyone within my home away, but when i go no.2, it aint pretty!

Travis Morgan's picture
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My wife is Japanese also, she is from Okinawa... Shitting and shit itself seem to be one of her favorite subjects to talk about. She will no do the poo in public restrooms though.

JOSH's picture
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I LIKE THE POOPING NIOSES BUT FOR THOSE SERIOUS SHAMEFUL SHITTERS I GUESS ITS OKEY TO HAVE A FAKE FLUSH THINGY NO BIGGIE REALLY!

CyberPoop's picture
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It's amazing. The Far East is so much different from us. Work ethic, notions of what is beautiful/sexy, physical attributes and now poop psychology. I used to be a shameful shitter. I can therefore understand the perceived shame of shitting for those affected - when this condition is reinforced by culture, well...the results are sad. I approve of everything about the Japanese toilets except for the fake sound. They should shit comfortably...comfortably but PROUD.

Slim Jim Junkie's picture
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Meh, the Japanese do have some cool stuff, but I don't care about high tech toilets.

Professor Lump's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Anatano kanojo o watahsi no kao kusoshite kudasai! haha. jyodanyo.

Karen's picture
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Well well...The thing is.... we all have to poo...or we will die...its like taking a bath

Zach  Sand's picture
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I think that all females(ages 3-90)are disgusting.They have fartin' legs,huge boobies and big fat butts!

Atlantima's picture
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If I had one of those toilets, I'd be pressing that button all day, man. Buttons that make noises are fun.

Paul's picture
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No one should be ashamed of bodily functions. It is a natural process. I do believe you should not crap in public washrooms because it is disgusting and rude. Not so much the noise but the smell. You should be ashamed to crap in public but not at home!

Poopamentation's picture
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Human crap is one thing and our pet's crap is something else. I was fresh out of grad school and both my cat and I had moved to Washington D.C. My roommate who had never had a pet, knew I doted on my tiny cat, Dolly. She treated Dolly, who had been the runt of her litter, with the same thoughtful care that I did. So it was no surprise when she came to me one day and reported with great concern that little Dolly was sick. Dolly had diarrhea and had left a small mess on the rug. I cleaned up the poop and asked my roommate, Peggy, to tell me if Dolly showed any more signs of illness. I vowed that if Dolly continued to be sick, I would rush her to the veterinarian in our neighborhood. Later that night a thought occurred to me and I waited patiently for the right moment to arrive.

My roommate routinely arose early and started a pot of coffee. My enjoyment of the smell of the fresh pot of coffee was interrupted by a piercing shout from my roommate. I could hear her shouting, "Come quick. Dolly is sick. We have to find her and go to the hospital!" As I pulled on a robe, I asked, "What is it?" All she said was, "Come quick, hurry." We hurried to the end of the hallway where my roomie pointed to the cat box, saying,"She's must be hurt. That turd is huge." And indeed, there was the poop in the cat box which was the largest cat or dog turd I had ever seen. It would have hurt Dolly, possibly blowing a hole in her little kitty colon. With appropriate concern I uttered, "Oh my God! Where is she? She's probably dead."

My roommate searched thoroughly and found Dolly asleep in a corner of her bedroom, apparently none the worse for wear. My roommate cuddled little Dolly, saying, "What did you eat? You could have died. Don't scare us like that. We'll take you to the vet and soon you'll be all better." I muttered similar soothing commentary to Dolly. Dolly looked completely unconcerned and probably wondered what we were talking about. More to the point, Dolly was probably wondering why in the middle of the night I had squatted and left such a big poop in her kitty litter box.

Miss Clean Asshole!'s picture
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Hahahah aint that just great! I've always wanted to try one of those, esp with the dryer.... warm air aimed just the right place? i guess the japanese have mixed in some other pleasures into this toilet etiquette of theirs. I also flush 2 or 3 times whilst pooping. But the reasons r different, The first flush i usually do after the first stream of poop comes out (u know, the one waiting at the exit, most urgently needs to get out?) This is also so the odor doesn't linger, when u flush the first time, it's gone so no STINKY! well not NONE , maybe just extremely less... then i sit back down and wait patiently for another to arrive. if it doesn't, I'm done, i clean the bowl, flush another time, then just for good measure (usually whilst I'm in the office) i flush one last time! cheers!~

Fart Poopie's picture
j 1000+ points
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I want one of those toilets. The mock flush noise needs to go, though. It should play the radio. I wonder why no one has thought of making sound proof stalls in their restrooms.

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points
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But why a mock flush? Why not birds twirting loudly, or music, or airplanes going overhead (although that might be disconcerting). How about voices talking or singing? Tap dancing. Dogs barking. But why a mock FLUSH? That's just silly.

_______
"You polished up my low-flow, and I dirtied up your bowl!"

Anonymous Coward's picture
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the funny thing about high tech Japanese toilets, including a basin set into the tank cover to wash your hands, is that I never saw a towel. There's no way to dry your hands... Maybe my butt is holey-er than thou's, but the r/c dryer also didn't quite work as well as the older manual method.

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points
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In case you missed it, please scroll up and read "Poopmentation's" post of 11/12/04. If you ask me, THAT is full-story worthy! Very, very funny!
_______
Mmmm...Fiber: Nature's Broom!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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The japanese again prove they are a more civilized society. The act of crapping is a horrible biological function. Mankind will become GODS when when science ends the need to make NUMBER TWOS!!!

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points
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Why are you even here?

Possumus's picture
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I find that dropping a bit of paper into the bowl just before the act cushions the sound a lot.

Also, crapping sucks and is best avoided in public. Would you fart in public? No. So why shit?

Gaijin Pooper's picture
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Well, one thing I can tell you that living in japan I experienced quite a few interesting things about Japan. Yes these toilets are awesome, and are in most japanese mid-ranged homes. However, one thing they've get to grasp is the western toilet in public places. Most bathrooms of train-stations, malls, ect. are an "Eastern" style toilet. It's about 8 inches wide, and 18 inches long, it's apart of the ground. To shit, you must squat, there's no avoiding it. What's even more annoying is you HAVE to take off your pants completely.. maybe more sanitary.. but far more annoying.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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There are no towels in Japanese public restrooms because you are expected to use your own handkerchief (no paper towel waste!).

The sound must be toilet flush; any other sound would indicate that it is some sound that is intended to cover up the sound you don't want to call attention to.
With the latest device, these fake flushing sounds can now be generated automatically when a woman sits down so she can at last pee in peace....! Until now, the fake flushing sound was not popular because the mere act of pushing it and generating the artificial sound meant you were trying to cover up your pee sound. Now that everybody generates this fake sound just by sitting on a toilet, nobody can accuse you of trying to cover up any sound! Trust me, this is how a Japanese woman's mind works! Finally a solution to so many gallons of water being wasted down the toilet!

Finally, no, you don't have to take off your pants to use the squat toilet! You only need to drop them above your knees. You just need to squat right. Your butt will be plenty exposed...! :-)

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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To me, the sound of flushing in a public toilet means one of two things: (1) The user is finished, or (2) The user is even now dropping a turd. Since that is a natural thing to do, and since in hitting water it often makes a sound, I see no reason to mask a perfectly natural sound coming from someone I don't know and will never see again or at all.

The Thunderous Crapper 63's picture
k 500+ points
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Geeez Matt just tell her to get over it! She would enjoy her dumps more. There is nothing like a good dump to start or finish the day. Why if they are such shameless shitters they have websites of girls farting in mens faces and I assume WORSE from what I have heard?
_______
The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

AHHHHHEMMMMMMMMMM JUST CLEARING MY THROAT!! ;)

Ronzique's picture
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Frankly, I like to hear the farts and poos coming from a woman's bottom as opposed to hearing the toilet flush X number of times. Everybody does it, and it makes for a powerful release. Thoughts of a World War II fighter plane dropping bombs and air raiding its target below come to mind. Is it any wonder why fighter pilots painted pictures of women on B-17's back then?

gusano's picture
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kakita apestosita

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
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Until turds start dropping out our asses with little parachutes, they're going to make a sound when they hit the water. Get over it.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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Things have changed drastically in Japan in the last forty years. When I first arrived in that country in 1961 I often frequented bars when not at work. Most of the bars had unisex bathrooms with no locks on the doors. Many are the times I would be at the urinal draining beer from the old lizard when the door would open and a young lady would pass behind me, with a coy giggle, and enter one of the stalls.
The stalls usually had doors and they had squat style toilets. I never heard a load being dropped but often I was entertained by the musical sound of peeing.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Poop is Fun's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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weird toilets.

marktisgod's picture
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i like the noise my poop makes when i drop a dook. its natural people and farting is just fun. it feels good. just like peeing.

Anonymous's picture
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It would be so fun to hack those sound machines so that they played the most grotesque shit sounds imaginable... sounds that would make a male first grader blush... sounds that would go on forever. I gotta do it. I'm off to Japan.

Anonymous's picture
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> Would you fart in public? No.

Says who? I do it ALL the time. Elevator farts are the best. Also farting inches from little, obnoxious brats faces. And those lazy fat bastards in the supermarket scooters.