I Missed The Double
A couple of weeks ago we took a weekend trip to Nashville, and after a day of carousing the Tennessee countryside we finally checked into our hotel. The wife was tired and wanted to nap for a bit before we went downtown to explore the honky tonks, and I wanted to unload a turd that had been squirming to get out for the past few hours.
I went into the crapper and proceeded to lay one down, and when I got up to flush saw that there was a small aircraft carrier floating in the bowl! Laughter ensued. I flushed and it cocked itself at a forty-five degree angle, refusing to budge. At this point I was unsuccessfully fighting back tears that were rolling down my checks from laughter. I tried to flush it down the tube again, but to no avail.
The wife awoke, and having heard this play out before yelled at me, "You better not have!" Oh yes, I had! "Now what are you going to do?" she asked, to which I replied I was just going to walk to the desk and get a stick or a plunger when I finished rolling around laughing.
Then that she noticed the room was rather cold. She turned to me and asked, "Didn't you turn the heat on in here?"
"Well yes but... great. It's not working."
She went to front desk, and when she returned she told me we had been given a new room. We moved to our new room down the hall, with me nearly collapsing from laughter most of the way.
"What's so funny?" she asked me.
All I could think about was that monster I had left in the bowl. "The broken heater's not the only surprise they will have when they get in there."
The next morning I got up go in to drop a load. Upon completion I looked to admire my master piece and text a pic to my buddy, and there lay a coiled mound of poop rising out of the toilet, looking like its own little island. Again, I was unable to control my laughter, leaving the wife to think we had another situation on our hands. But it was not to be. Due to all the garlic on the half of a twenty-inch pizza I had consumed the night before this Turd Island went quite willingly on just one flush.