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One Groovy Poopsicle

Posted 03.24.2009 by IrvW (10)
We've always taken a five-gallon bucket with a screw-top lid as our groover on our rafting trips, but we never actually used it; we were blessed with lovely outhouses on all of our previous trips. This changed when we went on the Owhyee in Eastern Oregon, a beautiful and remote float with no outhouses. With no previous experience, we made our 'deposits' directly into the bucket, all the while giving little thought as to how we were going to deal with our mess this at trip's end. We now know that experienced rafters line the bucket with doubled trash bags that are securely knotted before launching each morning and stowed in the bucket until set up time in the afternoon.

At the end of our trip I was the proud owner of four gallons of poop, its odoriferous qualities enhanced by several ninety-plus degree days!

Many take-outs have a scat machine that you strap your bucket into and automation takes care of the rest. There are no such luxuries in the wilds of Eastern Oregon. Every one of the RV dump sites on the way back to Western Oregon required fittings our primitive setup lacked to flush out the considerable detritus from our eleven-person, four-day float. Luckily it was a long trip back home, and I had plenty of time to think about possible solutions.

I quickly rejected the idea of dumping the load down a toilet, as it was too big of an olfactory offense to my nose. Abandoning the whole amount of waste in a dumpster similarly offended my sense of ecological responsibility. Nothing much came to mind, so I occupied my mind through the high desert flatlands with other musings.

One of the travel problems that keeps me busy is looking for ways to maximize ice retention on long floats. This trip had been hot so I turned my imagination away from poop toward ways of improving ice retention, and this resulted in a nearly immediate epiphany!

When I got home, I popped the screw top lid on our groover, held my nose for the few seconds it took to insert a piece of firewood to make a handle, and sealed the whole thing with a standard lid. Overnight in an otherwise empty freezer and voila, a giant poopcicle! Next day I made a midnight run to a nearby construction site and deposited the goods in their johnny-on-the-spot. Problem solved!

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The concept behind the groover's name is that this portable shitter will leaves grooves on your butt or thighs after taking a poop. You can view a groover here, along with some accessories and a bit of the groover history.

Thunderbox (1357) -- 03.24.2009

I`m glad I wasn`t one of the poor sods rafting down-wind of you, Irv. Did you have to break up the turdcicle to get down the portashitter?

A query - are you not allowed to dig a hole to shit in near your campsite and bury individual turds? That`s what we do here when free-camping.

phatmanxxl (514) -- 03.24.2009

I would have just dug a hole and buried it somewhere in the woods. Its bio, and whould have decomposed into the earth rather quickly.

ChiefThunderbutt (2712) -- 03.24.2009

I agree with the 'shit in the woods gang', poop is certainly biodegradable and is actually beneficial to the forest when disposed of properly. I hope you took a photo of your poopcicle as a memento of your trip.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

spattacus (205) -- 03.24.2009

11 people, 4 days..... Bury that in the woods, drop in an acorn or whatever and come back in a year to see how high the bugger's got.
Hope no frantic constructionista sat on the poopsicle handle!

Leaky Bowel King (458) -- 03.24.2009

Hell, if you were rafting, you coulda just hung your ass over the side and shit that way. But ir woulda pulluted the water I guess. What I'm curious about is how, out of 11 people, you were the lucky one that got to take the bucket home. I just couldn't imagine taking a five gallon bucket of shit anywhere, much less home with me. Unless I was planning on having a huge bonfire, in which case you had plenty of fuel. I'm thinking burying it woulda been the best way to go no doubt. You coulda buried it in your backuard and used it as fertilizer.

Cow patty (not verified) -- 03.24.2009

The poopsicle was a very good innovation just don't sell em to kids (gross). Great poop report and maybe next time you should poo in the woods.
(I'm waiting for daphne to comment on the use of poop as a great firtilizor)

Deja Poo (966) -- 03.24.2009

I'm all in favor of the cat hole method myself. Just remember to always have a buddy keeping watch while you have your pants around your ankles.

However, if you want to do the responsible "green" thing, you should drive into the city and find one of those urban gardens. They're always looking for organic fertilizer. And if it happens to be near a homeless shelter, well, nobody will be any the wiser.
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My special need's student crapped in your honor roll student's backpack.

Mrs. Mad Crapper (1012) -- 03.24.2009

I would have either buried it or just dumped the whole thing in a dumpster at the campsite. I'm certainly perplexed as to the reason why you didn't have a thought to put in a bag at the beginning. Seems like common sense to me.
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Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

daphne (4391) -- 03.24.2009

Well, I did a little reading about this since last night. The problem with burying dook along the rivers or streams that rafters use is that there are so many people rafting that the poop won't be all able to biodegrade fast enough, and that it will eventually leak back into the river or stream from whence the shitters came. The bio filter/bacteria of the stream or river might not be able to handle the extra poop, even if it's swiftly flowing by. The water has to rest somewhere.

As to human poop being a fertilizer for crops, it has to be processed first in order for it to be usable. There's a link somewhere..... aha - here it is, an article that Dave wrote. It details the Humanure Handbook and how you can recycle your own poop.

I didn't catch that this groover was only five gallons while posting the story. Five gallons is really small. I have a betta tank that's five gallons not four feet from me right now (where Enrique the betta graces us with his presence on a daily basis). Sure, it would be gross to have five gallons of crap, but with 11 people going to the bathroom, I'm surprised it lasted four days without overflowing. I guess spaces can be deceiving.


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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

cornleg (161) -- 03.24.2009

You guys should have mixed in some cement powder, stirred well and poured into square molds to dry. Do the same after each outing until you've got enough to build a shit brickhouse. Problem solved.
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Don't move the truck I'm still on the bucket!

asiansprinkles1 (60) -- 03.24.2009

Ha ha ha! I would have been so neurotic trying to transfer the Brown Bucket that I probably would have dropped the whole thing and spilled the stank contents everywhere.

Leaky Bowel King (458) -- 03.24.2009

Cornleg, that is hilarious. I almost wanted to correct you when I saw shit brickhouse because I've always heard it as brick shithouse, then I read it again and understood what you're getting at. That is priceless.

ChiliKahKah (957) -- 03.24.2009

I believe this would be more of a Fudge-sicle

Anomalous Coward (728) -- 03.25.2009

I must have lived through the sixties. I thought a groover was someone who was groovy, not a simple shit bucket.

Poopsy McGee (233) -- 03.25.2009

I want a shit brickhouse!

Anonymous Coward (not verified) -- 03.27.2009

From what I understand about camping regulations, you just need to dig a small hole a certain number of feet from any water supplies and you're ready to poo. You want to carry out trash, etc., but poo is something best left in the woods!

wdtaterry (not verified) -- 04.07.2009

Ah! Poop, it all comes back to poop. Doesn't it? Dig a freaking hole!

Bran Lover (655) -- 04.12.2009

The molds cornleg is referring to are at Bass Pro Shops. Don't look in the camping section like I did. The shit brickhouse kits are in with the 5 gallon coolers.

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To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

Lumberjack (15) -- 06.16.2009

If the bucket was full, you could've easily extracted a 40+ lb. frozen excre-mallet. A useful tool for beating home intruders into submission.

Bilgepump (2747) -- 06.16.2009

I like the idea of a shithammer...only problem for me is it rarely gets below 40 degrees here...
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Anal Fissureman (15) -- 08.11.2009

It was a good idea, I guess. I worry though about the possibility of poo molecules adhering to the sides of the freezer and making your frozen veggies well, crappy-tasting. Broccoli, anyone?

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