The Pile High Club
Last year I was fourteen, my family and I took a trip to England. The trip was good but the return flight got delayed, causing us to eat a lot of English airport food that didn't go down well with my stomach. As soon as we started to board the plane I got the rumbles and terrible pain. I was so shameful back then, too, so much so that I wanted to wait the hours until we got to the hotel back in the states to poop. But as we started taking off, I began to realize that wouldn't happen. As much as I tried to convince myself that I wouldn't, I knew I would eventually be using the plane bathroom.
About an hour into the flight I felt like I was going to explode, and I was in terrible pain. After another twenty minutes, my whole family was asleep; I knew this was my chance. I secretly waddled to the only bathroom on the second floor – we were on one of those 747 double-decker planes and our seats were on the top. I was surprised to find a Men’s and a Women’s lavatory. The Men’s was occupied, and my heart sank. I knocked on the door and the occupant said he was going to be a while, because he didn't feel well. I wasn't allowed downstairs to visit another Men’s room, so I jumped into the Women’s lavatory and locked it.
I couldn't believe what I found. The toilet was just a hole a little bigger than a baseball. I wish I knew how I could describe it better. I later found out it was to prevent people from throwing garbage in the toilet, but the Men’s lavatory had a normal-sized toilet for some reason. I was dying to go so I just sat. It felt like sitting on a chair. I stopped clenching and let go with some major diarrhea. After the first five seconds of lava I had another problem – because the hole was so incredibly small I didn't know how I was supposed to pee! I had to re-clench my bunghole, turn around, and try my best to aim. After I peed I turned around and sat again for some more hot pudding. I was in the Women’s room for a total of fifteen minutes and felt so much better by the time I was finished. My mom got up later to go to the bathroom, and when she returned she told us, "You'd never believe what the toilet looks like." I did know, and I never wanted to experience it again. I had diarrhea once more on that flight, but I was able to use the Men’s lavatory, luckily. With a normal-sized hole.