Mspms: Your story sounded mortifyingly spot on. I could picture you doing the Tijuana Turkey Trot for 10 minutes while waiting to go... As the SNL church lady would say, "Thank you for sharing."

Is it too late to look up that old boyfriend? If he was gentleman enough not to mention your butt stench on the ride home, then he certainly was a keeper.

If the ride home was so long, you could have stopped along the way and cleaned yourself up somewhere else, I'm sure? Well, no bother, you aren't the first poor thing to lament 1.) Mexico and its potties and/or food, and 2.) a sheet of toilet paper.

Personally, I've always got a few MRE little tp packs in my purse for any occasion where my butt is left bereft.

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969

Is this story a repeat?

I swear I read this one before.

Or maybe it's because it's a standard "ate mexican, suddenly had to shit, shameful chick in front of boyfriend, can't find a decent place to poop story".

Mainly I remember reading the part about paying a dime to poop and get a TP square.

It could have been worse.She did take a nice dump.It could been "There she sat broken hearted paid the dime and only farted."Daphne is right.There had to be a store that sold TP along your route home.

Personally i like a girl that can admit to having to poop. Now i don't have a fetish for it or want to be there to witness it, but girls that don't poop or fart or claim not to just seem inhuman to me. It's good to hear that this helped you along the road to shamelessness, albeit in a rather tramautizing fashion.

Tijuauna is the birthplace of shit horror stories. I remember one drunken night in TJ when I was a young guy stationed in San Diego. I was crossing that pedestrian bridge that goes from Revolution Ave back to the border and some drunken idiot was perched on the handrail with his pants around his ankles and ass over the side, spraying liquid shit on the cars passing below on the freeway. The federales asked him what the hell he was doing and he said "fuck you Pedro, your whole country smells like shit anyway". Those were the last words out of his mouth before they handcuffed him and threw him in a police car. He is probably still in the TJ slammer ,which I have heard is not very pleasant.

Well, CEP, to paraphrase an military adage, 'discretion is the better part of fouler'.....

_______
"Odor in the court! The judge is eating beans--his wife is in the bathtub counting submarines." Author Unknown

wow. i'll be adding Tiajuana to my list of places i NEVER want to go. thanks for the tip!

_______
i love poop.

doniker, I swear I'd read it before, too, but I don't remember the exact details about the inside of the toilet before.

I remember a story involving paying for the pooper, someone's boyfried, and Mexico. Maybe I can find the one that seems like it....

Nope, but I didn't look too hard. However, I had the same deja'vu feeling you did.

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969

Wow, I've never gotten sick off of the food in Mexico and I've never seen these disgusting toilets that eveyone speaks of. I must have lived a charmed and sheltered life so far. I hope that doesn't change. Shitting in that situation would be horrible!!!! And I'm not shameful at all. Just the STINK of the place, being rushed, one sheet of tp...egads.

_______
"Rectum hell, killed em' both." Author Unknown

BTW, C. Everett, I'm remiss in mentioning that I thought your condensed version of a shit story would make for a good longer shit story? Any chance we can expect that in the future?

Doniker/Daphne: I think the other story you two might be thinking of was travel one in the Czech Republic.

_______
"Odor in the court! The judge is eating beans--his wife is in the bathtub counting submarines." Author Unknown

Daphne and doniker are both correct, this exact story has appeared on poopreport before. It was originally posted oct., 2005.

We know this because Bunga is the "king" of the archives. Just ask him and he will tell you. (I humbly bow)

_______
"Rectum hell, killed em' both." Author Unknown

Aha! Well, thank you, Bunga. I was just on eBay posting a sale for a book I don't need and popped over here to see if anyone had found what I may have missed. Was it in the forums or the front page, cuz' I didn't see it under Travel logs or Stories about Poop.

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969

There's something hinky about this one, if you notice the user was registered 23 weeks ago yet this is the first post, no archives exist showing the poopreport story roster from this period...Dave's got some explaining to do.

This must have been either a comment or a forums post because I can't find it anywhere as a story either. Strange. I swore it was a story. Dave does have some 'splainin to do.

Repeat or not, I very much enjoyed reading the painful pooping story of a youngster. I envisioned the event quite vividly, almost upchucked, partially laughed, shed a tear, and about gagged thinking of the stench on her ride home.

Does seem strange she didn't stop at the first gas station on the way home.

_______
See what's happening on The Dumpster Debacle
Poop Shooter!

Aha! Found it Bunga! Who's the better archiver?

You da Girl AB2K!!!

_______
See what's happening on The Dumpster Debacle
Poop Shooter!

Not bad, AB.

So are the holes in the floor strictly piss holes, or are they crap holes too?

_______
"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

Ya notice how the last 3 stories are all 10 point people? I sent Dave 2 stories and he says it'll be 2 weeks before they get up. Can we have a mix of reputable stories with the one-hit wonders?

_______
"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

This story has been floating around my inbox since december or so. I didn't realize it had also been posted on the forums. The author registered on this part of the site as Ms. Pms. Whoops.

Well, one duplicate in five years... not too bad.

You learn a lot of things, being 16. 1)Don't go to Tijuana. 2)If you DO go to Tijuana, take some WIPES! 3)Don't buy food from street vendors. 4)Eat in an actual restaurant where there are bathrooms (like the animated M&M's, they DO exist!). 5)Or at least carry a pocketful of greenbacks for the TP lady.

I'd have to say, this is one of the few times I'd sacrifice an article of clothing, 20 other women watching and all...

Okay, AB2K gets to wear the archive "crown of shit" until she is dethroned. (again I humbly bow)

_______
"Rectum hell, killed em' both." Author Unknown

One duplication in five years? That's it, I'm getting out the bamboo cane.
_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969

Ooooo....cool... A Poop Reporter Flogging!! How much are tickets?

_______
See what's happening on The Dumpster Debacle
Poop Shooter!

Folks, folks: Chill already. We're not in Thailand. I vote we duct-tape the mouth, put 'em in a round room and give instruction upon threat of death to pee and poo in a corner, and pipe in nonstop ad nauseum tracks from "Grease". That's torture...

Woah, Bunghole. Remind me to call you if I ever need anyone "take care of."

K'. I'll just use it to roast marshmallows.

But, you know, if you really wanna' cause some psychological damage, put the Grease record down and find a Spice Girls cd. Now we're talking torture.
_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969

I would love to be locked in a room listening to Grease and the Bee Gee's all day long.

Da Doo run run run run, Da Doo run run!!

Quite a fitting song I must add!!

_______
See what's happening on The Dumpster Debacle
Poop Shooter!

PS, I think we've overlooked the "Black Eye Peas"--Hump Hump Hump, modified. 'What ya gonna do with that funky junk--funky junk inside your trunk?'

My memory fails the details, but wasn't there a hostage situation a few years back in which the government blasted rock'n'roll toward the compound until the guy gave up?

Google "Wing Does Elvis" and then redefine torture.

GGG, that was scary. The only thing scarier when I googled Elvis was an album of William Hung sings Elvis Costello *twitches and shudders*.

Bunghole, to say that is scarier you must not have listened to Wing. Wing sucks terribly. Not in a funny interesting way, just truly lack of artistry and suckiness. Here's the link about Iraq-n-roll by the way.

_______
"Rectum hell, killed em' both." Author Unknown

RD, ask Dumpy for his dictionary definition of "Irony." He's a walking book, he is.

_______
Don't just sit there: Have a Farting Contest!

A walking dic

tionary, Bungie?

Add a 'kay'and you'd pretty much have the picture, Benn.. erhm.., Dumpy.

O-kay....

GGG, I think your thinking of the David Koresh compound in Waco Texas where the government basically killed him and all his followers and claimed it a mass suicide and arson.

_______
See what's happening on The Dumpster Debacle
Poop Shooter!

TD, no grudgies?

OOXX

Bungie, "Love is patient and kind. Love knows neither envy nor jealousy. Love is not forward and self-assertive, nor boastful and conceited. [Etc.]"

No. Absolutely no grudgies. I don't even know what you're talking about, so please don't enlighten me.

Enlightenment is a learned thing, TD.

To paraphrase EBB, How do I (fill in the blank)Thee? Let me Count the Ways...."

Let's start with my ode to Mr. Frank,'Thanks For The Mammaries' Sinatra.

Meanwhile, howsabout a good chase around the board, 'Benny'?

I used to live in Taiwan. The first evening there I saw a mother with what looked like a 3yr old girl outside our hotel, and the little girl was relieving herself in the storm drain. That was only the beginning of what turned into poop-paranoia for the next 14mos. In Taiwan, most toilet paper comes in little 4X4 squares. They keep a pocket full of those bad-boys all the time, as did I. In public restrooms, they have toilet paper square machines like we have condom machines, but they are often sold out, hence taking your own supply everywhere. The kicker is that Taiwanese are raised to NOT put the used squares into the toilet, rather put them in the trash can (located next to the bowl). So, if you've gotta go, you often have to put up with a can full of stinky used squares (Taiwan is so overcrowed that they try not to overload the sewer systems). I once had to poop at the local RT Mart (their version of a WalMart), and the can in my stall was overflowing with used and very stinky squares. However, my worst experience there was having to use a military bathroom located at an Army training site out in the woods. It had a urinal on one side, and a hole in the ground, that's it. Well, just the day before my episode I helped kill a 7ft King Cobra snake at the same training site (the Japanese army released thousands of poisonous snakes into the mountains when they were getting booted off the island during WW2). Anyway, this outhouse type bathroom was back in the woods with only the sunlight from one small window, so I really couldn't see much in there. I went inside, then right back outside, propped open the door with a stick for more light and checked for deadly snakes, rats, etc. I wasn't convinced that it was entirely safe, and had I had any chance of holding off the poop party, I would have, but I had a bad upset stomach and a turtle head-a-poking!!! I had waited so long debating whether or not to use the snake pit, I wasn't sure if I would start spraying before I could line up the two holes (the one in the ground and mine). Also, the Chinese people have been doing this since they were children (ref. the 3yr old child above) and they can probably poop into a Dixie cup. Anyway, I clinched my sphincter as tightly as I could and began the long journey into the squat position. Oh yeah did I mention that I had on Army boots so I couldn't take one leg out of my pants? Didn't think so, and there was really no time for that anyway. You see the Chinese, when squatting to poop, have the amazing ability to angle their ass back away from their ankles WITHOUT falling backwards, and no need to prop up with their hands. This was my first attempt at the squat maneuver, and I was so afraid I would deposit my load right into my underwear and pants pockets. Well I finally got as close to the bullseye as possible, and then I just relaxed. The levy broke, and with an almost perfect placement as well. Just then I realized that my paper squares were in my pants pocket, my FRONT pants pocket. Knowing that if I were to move forward in the least I may drip the remnants of my burning poop all over the back of my pants, and if I wasn't careful I would fall over backwards. I dug my hand into the wrinkled front pocket, past a pocket knife, a set of keys, an ink pen, gum, and some change. I worked carefully to try and not drop any of my other items onto the fecal splattered floor (not everyone using this hole had good aim). Finally I got my squares out, cleaned myself, and shuffled myself forward. I almost couldn't stand back up, legs quivering from reduced blood flow, etc. I finally got myself erect and pulled up my pants. I was completely soaked with sweat after the ordeal. So if you go to Taiwan, buy some paper squares, and please do something for me, FLUSH YOUR PAPER! Somehow it felt like revenge everytime I flushed paper...mmMMMAAAHHH, HAAAA HAAAA HAAAA HAAAA (sinister laugh).
P.S.

Poopmeister: Jeez, man, you should have sent that in as a story! Please register here and tell us some more (or are you really C. Everett Poop in disguise?).

BTW--I hope you got rid of the gum.

I was expecting you to say something like "a snake bit me in the balls and I pooped on it's head" or something like that. Nice story though!!

_______
See what's happening on The Dumpster Debacle
Poop Shooter!

Bungie, in response to your comment above, when you decide how to fill in the blank, let's talk.

PM Smooth-- That was a great story, definitely worthy of submitting! It has a good sense of suspense, being set in an familiar, possibly dangerous locale.

UNfamiliar. Drat it all! UN!! What is wrong with me today?

What have you been using your fingers for today, Gigigi?

Just typing up the order for my Berlitz French course. Yourself?

You girls bring out the worst in Dumpster:

A man calls his wife from work. "Bad news," he says, "I've been in an accident, and I've cut off my finger."

"Your WHOLE finger?" she asks.

"No, the one next to it."

Dumpy writes: 'Bungie, in response to your comment above, when you decide how to fill in the blank...'

To paraphrase EBB, How do I (double entendre you with protein snack choices and the like)Thee? Let me Count the Ways...."

_______
Don't just sit there: Have a Farting Contest!

_WOW MsPMS! A situation like that can be a sphincter clencher! I have crapped like that in Korea and it's not easy even if you have done doodies like that several times,,,Too bad your trip was ruined, I hate that feeling when you know a crust-ring is forming around uranus! ______
"show that turd who's boss"

Ten cents for one square of TP, I'm going to Tijuana, and starting myself a buiness.

How did they clean out the accumulated turds from these holes you were talking about?
_______
Jammin' lo'flo's since 1977.

Oh jeeze! yeah, I'm a total noobie!! Sorry for the confusion about this story being posted on the forums! Only a year late on the apology...
*hangs head in shame*

mspms you are ALL RIGHT In my books. Happy Shameless Shitting.
_______
The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

Thank you Thunderous Crapper. *wipes away a tear* you're so sweet...