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i poop and i vote

Michael Jackson? The bathroom? Big deal.

Posted 11.14.2005 by Dave
Sometimes our search for poop in the news is tough -- after all, poop doesn't make the news every day. Other times you can't turn around without finding fodder for the BM Newswire. Last week it was poor Bob Dougherty; this week, unfortunately, it's Michael Jackson. A simple Google News search returns hundreds of headlines screaming that Michael Jackson was caught in the ladies' room. In Dubai. Applying makeup.

Now, perhaps you care that Michael Jackson is in Dubai. I don't. Perhaps you care that he applies makeup. I don't. Perhaps you care that he is more comfortable in the ladies' room. I don't. Because the mainstream media has a very limited appetite for stories about poop; and right now Michael Jackson is monopolizing any attention they might give to this important subject.

Thanks to the King of Po(o)p, here are some of the stories you won't be hearing about: Nagpur, India, wants to strip citizens without toilets of their voting rights. Bird flu might be spreading because farmers are dumping chicken feces into rivers for fish to eat. A woman is in critical condition after a bathroom fire. The rage in Spain is black toilet paper. And Angel Soft Toilet Paper had a short essay contest. I wish we had known about that last one... one of us could have surely won.

So big sarcastic thanks to Michael Jackson -- and the lesbian cheerleaders before him -- for ensuring that poop reporting in the mainstream media remains as vapid as ever.

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Show some poop support, or make a poop retort.
mott the poople (126) -- 11.15.2005

WOW! I dont know what is worse. Some people still give a shit about MJ or the Bird Flu is being spread to the ocean. Does not look for humanity. Maybe the Bird Flu will cause a "weird condition" that will change your poop to the color white. Oh wait...thats next..black tp is a good idea. UFB!!!(!)

Logjam (2406) -- 11.15.2005

But I want to know who screamed. In one story, it was the woman who screamed when she discovered that there was a man in the restroom. In another story, it was MJ who screamed when he realized that the woman was taking his picture with her cell phone, (and him without his make-up on). What I hope is is that they both screamed.

Fart Poopie (1254) -- 11.15.2005

Damn that Pawar. Instead of wasting time and money pushing and campaigning for such a retarded bill, he could be trying to find ways to install toilets in the homes of his fellow citizens. The idea that a poor person shouldn't be allowed to vote is outrageous!! I don't want to offend anyone when I say this, but it is obvious, and has been throughout India's history. For the most part, India treats its poor like sub-human scum. It's a shame.

PooperGal (527) -- 11.16.2005

Geez. The whole thing reads like a wacked out sitcom. I do hope that both the woman and MJ screamed. That would clinch it. Surreal. Just surreal.

PooperGal
"Searching for the Origin of the Feces"

Slim Jim Junkie (not verified) -- 11.16.2005

Jacko is in a difficult situation faced by cross dressers, transsexuals, and girly men. If they go into the men's room, they might be told to get out because they look like they should be in the ladie's room. However, if they go into the ladie's room, people may wonder why somebody is in the stall, and their feet point towards the toilet. They might think some vouyeristic guy is in there, and also think it is time to call the cops.

PooperGal (527) -- 11.16.2005

Probably in a macho country like Dubai, if MJ tried to touch up his makeup in the men's room, he would have had the crap bashed out of him by homophobic Dubaiian dudes. He must have thought he would be safer in the women's room. But what was he thinking? Talk about cultural ignorance... the guy is a male, and he is going into the women's room in an Arab country where the sexes are rigidly separated in most things. Dork.

PooperGal
"Searching for the Origin of the Feces"

PooperGal (527) -- 11.16.2005

Just found this article with the latest news on the bathroom fiasco. Looks more reasonable than the past report, and if it's the truth, I take back my disparaging remarks above about MJ.

PooperGal
"Searching for the Origin of the Feces"

Winnie the Poo (74) -- 11.18.2005

Was he really looking for the ladies room or rather the kiddies bathroom? So long, King Of Po(o)p, Wierd-ugly-creepy Jacko.

Fart Poopie (1254) -- 11.18.2005

I think we're all missing Dave's point.
Who cares what Michael Jackson was doing and why he was doing it? Because the man is an complete idiot, other, more important toilet stories has been looked over.

L Wrong Hubbard (216) -- 11.21.2005

Proof that the media is biased, indeed. Thanks for finding the real scoop on poop, Dave

Happy trails,
L. Wrong
Chairman & CEO, PPK Industries

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