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The last true poop story I'll ever tell

Posted 10.03.2005 by Crapola

Check out The Last True Story I'll Ever Tell : An Accidental Soldier's Account of the War in Iraq by John Crawford. I heard the author interviewed on Air America Radio's Al Franken Show.

Crawford said that poop was one of the worst things about serving in Iraq. American bombing decimated the plumbing
infrastructure and sewage treatment plants. Now, poop in Iraq has nowhere to go.

The everyday Iraqi was not a tent or cave dweller. Before our invasion, they lived in houses with toilets just like us. Now they have to poop in the street.

American soldiers have to poop in the street too. They can't install a port-a-potty, which would shout, "Suicide bombers! Come here to kill the Americans who destroyed your toilets!"

To compound the problem, American soldiers use toilet paper. Iraqis do not. Like most Middle Eastern people, Iraqis splash their assed with water with their left hand. So, now the streets of Iraq are filled with Iraqi poop, US soldier poop, plus literally tons of used toilet paper.

There are no sanitation services, either. So no garbage has been picked up since we dropped the first bombs three years ago.

Imagine how all this smells on the average 100-degree day in Baghdad. In his book, Crawford describes how our troops smell this stench and step in human poop a hundred times a day. And they puke at first. But eventually they get used to it.

Crawford details his ultimate "get used to it" experience as a soldier in Iraq: He stepped in human poop as usual while heading into the mess tent to eat. He felt a weird crunch in the cleats of his Army boot. He looked at his boot sole and saw that the cleats were clogged with brain matter and bony skull fragments -- maybe Iraqi, maybe US, plus the usual human poop. He used his fork to scrape out his boot sole, and then used it to eat his meal.

Kinda puts the hand-washing debate into perspective, huh?

Show some poop support, or make a poop retort.
Logjam (2427) -- 10.03.2005

If this guy said in his book that he ate with the same fork he had just used to dig guts and shit out of his boot, he's a big liar or a nut case -- in either case not to be taken seriously.

Bilgepump (1671) -- 10.03.2005

Logjam's protestation notwithstanding, (and I agree, by the way), the conditions there are sad. The former owner of my place of employment has two kids over their, one, and MP, at Abu Graib (spelling?). She has said much to confirm what this story says. Her father (with my help) has sent hundreds of dollars worth of individual bottles of hand sanitizer to her, to pass out to her unit, or anyone needing it.
The culture difference is amazing, and makes me all the more grateful to live here, and be an American. Thanks Adrianne! (my little MP sweetheart!)

paradise pooper (51) -- 10.03.2005

Yeah, man, the poo situation over there is really bad. I heard this same story from a few different people, but they didn't eat with the same fork that they scraped shit with.

Fart Poopie (1257) -- 10.03.2005

Horrible.

Crapola (246) -- 10.03.2005

Hello! The poor soldier had no choice. He probably had one all-purpose plastic fork, which you and I probably paid Halliburton or another Bush crime family subsidiary corporation $100 or $1000 bucks for.

I think it would be great for PoopReporters to send hand sanitizer to our troops, and to the suffering Americans on the Gulf Coast too.

We have to help them, because our government will not.

Piece Out!
Crapola

Steve Schude (not verified) -- 10.04.2005

Crapola sound like the perfect liberal democrat. He seems to beleave in everything the liberal press tells him. Halliburton is a public company owned by millions of Americans.
Crapola has crap for brains. Maybe he should do some reseach on the company before he speaks crapola about good American companies and our honest Amercian President!

Logjam (2427) -- 10.04.2005

Hey Steve, nice attempt trying to goad us. That's really funny.

The Big Wiper (2245) -- 10.04.2005

Steve, Crapola is a woman.

The Shit Volcano (3741) -- 10.05.2005

You know what Republicans are represented by elephants? Because elephants have giant assholes. Anyone see the connection? *cough*Steve*cough*

Goatroper (25) -- 10.05.2005

Many public companies are "owned" by millions of Americans. Like Microsoft, McDonalds, and IBM.

Millions of Americans own a collective percentage of thiry percent or so. This is called owning stock. Does the average stockholder have any say in how that company operates or how salaries and dividends are paid?

Please, if you're going to antagonize, at least don't fall prey to your own logical fallacies.

In any case, I think some sort of hand sanitizer drive is in order. It isn't all that expensive and I'm sure it would be appreciated.

Fart Poopie (1257) -- 10.05.2005

TSV, you can't really use the elephant/large asshole bit unless you want someone to reply with "democrats are asses."
Anyway, including hand sanitizer in a care package drive is a good idea.

Anonymous Coward (not verified) -- 10.06.2005

check out the book, not the interview....the author states that when he was eating a meal on the street waiting for the Iraqi police he notices a piece of skull/brain stuck in the sole of his boot, using the handle of his mre spoon he knocked it loose, not the eating part. Hard to understand for civilians I know, but not a lie I can promise you....I'm the author.

Logjam (2427) -- 10.07.2005

John. Gee whiz, I don't expect authors (or author proxies) of books I take cheap shots at to come around fact checking and keeping me honest. Your firsthand account sounds believable, while the interview version we had to go on above did not. Thus the problem wasn't one of civilians struggling to understand the depravities of war. Rather, somehow we knew that despite the depravities, you were more civilized than the account above made you out to be.

The Shit Volcano (3741) -- 10.07.2005

Fart Poopie, I see your point. That's why I'm an independent.

John Crawford (not verified) -- 10.30.2005

While I appreciate the viewpoint that poopreport may bring to the masses,...thats not what I wrote. In fact,...my book really doesn't go all too much into the fecal reality that is post war Iraq. I have been asked during interviews about the state of sewage in Baghdad, and I urge readers to search for those interviews rather than believe every summary they hear.

Logjam (2427) -- 11.01.2005

Ok, but life is short, and in most cases we must rely on summaries and secondhand accounts rather than originals, with the predictable noise we inherit from doing so.

Right, and then you say.. (not verified) -- 12.01.2005

I read this and the author states this is what I saw. Really, then why did the Corp of Engineers bother to rebuild the water lines. And because the sewer lines aren't there all of the water that is piped in just goes where??? You people are full of poop. Perhaps you are speaking of a few isolated areas, not the entire country. By the way, there are parts of rural american that are without sewage as well. Visit the backwoods of Kentucky sometime. Idiots.

Crapola (246) -- 01.02.2006

Well, if there are parts of the USA that lack sewage facilities, while the Bush crime family is handing out tax cuts to the richest 1% of Americans, that is an utter disgrace.

What's even sadder is that some of the poor people with no sewage facilities probably voted for these criminals.

Piece Out!
Crapola

Steve-o Placebo (not verified) -- 11.16.2006

Why is everyone taking pot shtos at each other? Is there some problem with just say... discussing this issue instead of ragging on each other?

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