Editor's note: PoopReporters -- I got this email from the good people at Liquid ASS. I thought we could help them out. Your ideas?

As believers in Liquid ASS, we would like your opinion and help. Attached is a picture of our next addition to our product line -- the Liquid ASS desk display.

The base is walnut hand crafted by Assman #1. Please let us know your opinion and please be honest. Also, we would like ideas for the name plate. We are looking for a catchy, well-worded phrase that sums up the essence of Liquid ASS and/or its uses. We have ideas of our own such as:

Morale Booster
"Talk to the Bottle"
Manager Repellent
Brown-noser Suppressor
The Equalizer
For complaints, remove cap, aim, and press
A**-kisser Training Fluid

However, we think you can provide phrases that are even better. Please submit them to us for consideration. We will probably offer up a choice of several. If you submit an idea that we use, we will send you a Liquid ASS desk display free of charge for your help.

Editor's note: make sure you're logged in when you post your suggestion so that I can contact you, should Liquid ASS chose your idea!