Activia: Jamie Lee's Not Shittin' You!
Back in the day, actress Jamie Lee Curtis was first identified with the Halloween horror movies, then went on to greater fame in action-adventure flicks like True Lies with Governor Ahh-nold. Today, however, the 50 year-old mother and children’s' book author has become so closely associated as a spokesperson with Dannon's probiotic dairy product, Activia, that she has been parodied on Saturday Night Live by the likes of Kristen Wiig, Amy Pohler and Ashton Kutcher.
Amusing and PoopReport-esque as a skit about pooping one's pants may be, it does not seriously address the question of Activia's actual effectiveness as a digestive remedy containing Bifidus regularis when used over time. About two years ago, I first gave the product a try now and then but did not stick with it. This probably had as much to do with my hectic travel schedule as anything else; but about eight months ago, I decided that I would try eating it every day – even going to grocery stores on the road to pick up a four-pack and take it back to my hotel room and store it in the mini-fridge during the length of my business stay.
What I have discovered (and, no, I haven't pooped my pants!) is that I do not suffer either extreme on the bathroom habit spectrum—neither uncomfortable straining nor the frantic trots. While I was not particularly irregular before, I did occasionally run afoul of missed meals and insufficient water intake while travelling. That, and the makeup of those 'free' hotel breakfasts, which, by the way, are not 'free' but figured into your room rate. Most of these breakfasts are heavy on sugary cereals, doughnuts, sweet rolls and waffles, tailor-made for a junk food jihad on the john in the end. I also found that I had to get up earlier than I wanted to in order to make these carbfests conducted in the lobby with a legion of sleepyheads flipping mindlessly through the paper-thin (in content) USA Today. But after I switched to eating Activia in my room instead, I had much less stress, more time to sleep and, most important of all, many smooth exits to start my day. (Also: much less wiping.)
Perhaps I should announce here and now that I do not own stock in Dannon, the parent company of Activia. But I have had consistently regular results consuming the product every day for eight months. My favorite flavor is vanilla and cereal. It reminds me exactly of something I gave up years ago – Sara Lee Cheesecake. Yes, it tastes like bits of graham cracker crust mixed in with a vanilla and sour cream filling. I feel like I'm getting away with something, but it's a nutritious product (110 calories with 15 from fat and 12 grams of fiber).
The real Jamie Lee Curtis guarantees that Activia works or your money back, and I assume that means no 'deer-in-the-headlights' accidents a la Kristen Wiig. I consider it money well spent because I can't afford wasting time with pooping problems in the bathroom with my busy schedule. I have to get off the pot and get out there to make a living.