Poopy Pants:

You wonder that poop stinks when you say that "food doesn't smell like that."

Have you ever walked into a house where someone is boiling a big pot of turnip greens or mustard greens? Especially if they are boiling up some of the turnip roots with the greens?

Or how about boiled cabbage, cauliflower, or broccoli?

Ever smelled chitterlings (chitlins) stewing away atop a stove?

And then you wonder how come some folks' poop smells worse than others. Hey, why do some folks' homes smell worse than others? How come some folks' armpits smell worse than others?

Look, some folks are just plain stankier than other folks. And it usually has at least something to do with what they shove down their gullets. Like some people who eat a lotta garlic. Or some folks who drink a lotta alcohol. It comes outta their skin, and outta their asses, more stinky than say someone who eats nothing but white bread and peanut butter washed down with Mt. Dew Code Red.

Anyway, do a little experiment. Cook up a big pot of chitlins, another pot of turnip greens, with the root diced up, and some blackeyed peas and cornbread. If you can stand the smell of your house, sit down and eat copious amounts of this slop.

Now, go down to Mississippi next day, meet up with Big Wiper in a public restroom, have a good ol' shameless twin shittin' sittin', and compare the odor. I'll bet your poop smells a whole lot worse than his. That's because he eats a more reasonable diet of not so stanky foods, see?

Peace in the portal.

Turd, your one hilarious mother !!!!

Thanks, Doniker.

By the way, did you check out Ms. Tina's ass pimple problem? Sounds like she could use some help if you're up her way, Don. After all, you have a lot of experience in the female hiney department.

But if it gets too gross ... oh, nevermind ... that's not a possibility with you, dude!

Anyway, when you get to pinchin' Tina's butt bumpies, squeeze a big, yellow puss pocket for me, Don. If she yelps, say, "That was for Turd Hugegrunt!" and keep on a squeezin'.

Peace on the Pimple Patch.

to be honest, I used to bang this chick that had pimples all over her ass cheeks.
She wasn't a fat slob, either.
For the first few months she would only fuck me if I got on top and in a dark room.

One time we were out in the woods during the day. We were drinking and I did her doggie style and her ass was covered in zits and zit scars.
Naturally I still fucked her and did so for about a year after that.

Doniker:

Well, I would imagine that the scabs and the healed-over pock marks afforded you some traction to get a grip on those ass cheeks, huh?

Peace in the pocked pucker.

TH, you continue to be in rare form, my friend! With all the travelling I'm doing lately, it's great to check into the site and see what you've come up with at the end of the day. Too cool for school

B'Dub:

I hope your travels find you safe and warm this winter. I know how cold some of those roadhouse toilets can be! Please avoid the dreaded frost-bit tush.

And seems like we should be hearing lots of public poophouse anecdotes when you finally get some time to relate them to us. I've seen a few from you lately, but I know you've experienced way more than what you've told us so far.

Like, is Arkansas still studded with those nostalgic two-seater outhouses like when I was a kid down South? Had any emergency downloads where you had to pull off the road in a rush and spackle paint the potty after dining on mudbugs and jambalaya in one of those Cajun roadside crab houses?

So, anyway, stay safe on the road, and have a speedy and profitable return to Tupelo.

Peace at the Crossroad.

Haha! TH, my most recent poophouse anecdote of note was posted in my 'On The Throne, On The Phone' story on the Front Page earlier this week. Cell phone crapping at its best and a shameless shiftfest to boot. I think my willingness to use (clean) facilities and my general shamelessness put me in a position to experience these excretory episodes more than most.

As for the mudbugs, they are coming into season right about now and are mighty tasty in etouffe and other dishes in restaurants in South Louisiana and Mississippi. Had some served as a topping over snapper (please--no comments about our esteemed Canadian Pooper Friend!) at a national sales meeting weekend before last. It was to die for and made for a fantastic easy slider at the other end. So, no complaints about the effect of the spicey cuisine on the ole bowels down there. I've learned to handle it after all these years.

Keep those crazy cards and letters of yours coming, TH. You da man!

your poop stuff is realy sick why do you even have this web site????? huh????

Courtney and Angelina -- thank you for posting your phone number. Now I can figure out where you live. I'll probably be stopping by this weekend....

hello buthoe! how are you?
sexy momma?

c'lnfgfgjfghxfjx

Oh man! thank God for this site I'd be calling 911 everytime I cut a fart holymolly man I am a hypocrandic of the worse kind man, I really am.

you are all very weird, very very weird, insane tiwsted weirdos, this awful english is due to the total astonishment I feel at finding such a bunch of weridos...

Dang man...there is nothing the king likes better than to see a hot honey pinching a big Tennessee loaf! Thank you, thank you very much.

Hey the stalker came to my house! I am OK
he said that becuase he thought it was wrong to
start making a caht room out of a poop box!
ha-ha-ha! I started luaghing, then he left.

Wha?

I THINK THAT IS COOL. I MEAN IM A GIRL BUT USUALLY GIRLS WOULD SAY EEWW THATS DISGUSTING BUT IM A TOMBOY SO I DONT CARE

so wut if ur a tom-boy, not gonna do anything!

Well, When I take a dump the whole house smells like ass. It blows out with a furious force, like compressed gas. Braaaaappp! There is like this huge explosion in the toilet with brown dropplets on the sides of the inside of the toilet bowl. What does this mean?

Everyone's ass smells,even if we do not defecate.My Cousins used to fart and then smell each other's asses.I don't smell people's asses!.

Krummi krunkar úti, kallar á nafna sinn;
"Ég fann höfuð af hrúti, hrygg og gæruskinn"
Komdu nú og kroppaðu með mér krummi nafni minn.
Komdu nú og kroppaðu með mér krummi nafni minn.

That was an Icelandic poopsong witch I wanted to share with you:)

Flush with pride.

Translation? Please!

Why does some poop sink to the bottom of the bowl and some float to the top?

Density and fiber content. Fatty, greasy foods create poop that doesn't really hold together and floats. High fiber foods such as veggies and whole grains create a denser log.

Some of the classic easy sliders I've had that slithered nicely to the bottom had, for instance, such foods as red beans and rice, broccoli and sourdough bread at the front end.

This site is much better moderated than it was two years ago.

_______
Send all your money to Bilgepump, or to Dave!

i love the poopie. is it possible to pop blood vessles from straining so much?

It's likely you will get hemorrhoids, yes.

Very educational thread. First, I have learned that there are indeed some weirdo's who vist PR. PR is not a porn site, we are a "poop humor" site. (We also give some pretty damn advice, along with helping the public overcome the fear of poop and pooping.) We at PR give (or try to give) a better understanding to the public, that pooping is not dirty, it is natural. All mammals poop.

Second. I have learned that people do have a false belief that poop and pooping is bad. Why? It is totally natural, there is nothing wrong with pooping. It is what our creator intended, so there must be a reason.

Third. I think FP has mad some awesome comments in this thread. A healthy diet will indeed create denser poop (sometimes too dense for the toilet to handle.)

Lastly. Now to put a twist on this question. Why does some people's poop not smell when it is submerged in the water?
_______
Jammin' lo'flo's since 1977.

Are we Born with the disgust for poop/smell of poop already buried in our genetics, or is it somthing that we learn?

After reading this horizon broadening site, I feel the need to make a correction. Feces floats when it has more fiber. If you eat things that are dense like meat and cheese without fiber, those are the stools that tend to sink like the titanic. Sorry to ruin your thoughts about eating greasy foods. The greasy foods can cause stomach and intestinal problems and can cause your gall bladder to go into overdrive. That is why cancer specialists suggest eating high fiber diets to keep your intestines clean. The grease also likes to line your veins and arteries until it chokes out your blood flow. To good poop & health.

I dunno. All I ate today was pancakes, beef jerky, coffee, and chile-spiced peanuts. Oh. And an ice-cream cone.

I just filled the bowl with floaters. How do you explain that?

GGG - Magic.

Oh. Well. That explains it, then.

BTW, I ate that diet that day because we were driving home from Nevada. The Cajon Pass was jammed, and all we had in the car was jerky and those spicy nuts.

When we finally got through, and back to some semblance of civilization, we celebrated with ice cream.

BTW/BTW, I left a deposit at the Stardust, which will only be open for 2 more weeks. Connection? Perhaps.

why do babies have such smelly and vile bowel movements? its not like they ingest a whole lot of processed and artificial foods..perhaps its the milk?XP

Blackhorse- I theorize that babies' poop (once they're weaned) smells/looks equally vile as adult poop. If you had to clean smeared crap off of an adult butt, I bet the baby butt would seem far less gross.

Hey - my ol' lady is fibre crazy - can't get enough - and her turds are always hangin' in the bowl - somedays I hafta piss-break them two or three times before they'll head off to New Jersey.

Me, well, I eat a balanced diet, get 5 servings of fruit/veg a day, some meat, some dairy, and, well, let me just say that when I drop the kids off at the pool, they go scuba diving. Not snorklers like the missus.

Do the Poo!

I have a question, I and a friend of mine where sitting around drinking coffee and I said" my shirt smells like ass!" and she said to me "What does ass smell like?" I told her that ass smells like when someone farts or that smell when you walk into a public bathroom and some has taken a really sinky poop. so what I want to know is what does ass really smell like if you could compare? you tell me .

I think i may have a problem. How often do u take a dump? Somtimes i find myself going 4, 5 times a day. Not to mention every time i go, afterwards i don't feel 100% done. I wonder if i have some parasite in me. Or sometimes when i go, very little comes out and it looks like someone spit in the toilet. Is that stomach acid?

AFTER ABOUT THIRTY MINUTES OF LAUGHING MY ASS OFF i FINALLY GOT TO THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE. I HAVE OFTEN BEEN TOLD THAT MY "POTTY "HUMOR WAS UNCOUTH, BUT AFTER SEEING THIS I WONDER HAVE I GONE FAR ENOUGH. THANK YOU GUYS FOR LETTING ME LOOSE ONCE AGAIN, NOW I HAVE TO SHIT OR GET OFF THE POT AND TAKE THE BROWNS TO THE SUPERBOWL. FAIR WARNING... I WILL BE BACK

I think the smelliest vegetable to add scent to poop I've noticed be a carrot. Due to the fact they loaded with bunches more natural salts & also a large amount of sugar. They're a root crop so they smell strong & earthier than poatoes (funny but potatoes will add bulk to poop but not a smell) & yet flowery. If you ate a meal of carrots exclusively this smells more & carries farther. = If at end of world when dogs hunt you all for those concentration FEMA camps try to not eat a whole can of carrots. Plan to mix the carrots even with a can of peas or something.

come to my house once,my man has the smellest farts and poop!It smells like dead nightcrawlers!I wonder why that is?Maybe he eats worm sandwiches for lunch.._______
fartqueen

hm i just wanted to know if courney and keeley ever still went on here....i miss you guys! look up at the dates from when we talked on here a long time ago till the date i just posted this..man its been a long time and we have grown soo much...i love u two!

Okay so I do actually have a phobia of the word P.O.O i dont mind people saying poop, thats ok, but without that extra p, its the most disgusting word ever.

but when stumbling upon this site, I have worked through it, wretching at anyone saying the word without the extra p and yeah, i still absolutely hate it.

i'm sorry

i let the side down
xox

Is there a difference in smell between male and female poop? Do hormones factor in?

I just dont get it if food dosnt smell that way
[thank u god]than y does poop smell so bad????

Because, poo boy, poop is more than just digested food. It's mostly water, first off, and besides leftover food, poop has cellular waste in it. All these things combine to make a bad smell.

Happy Thanksgiving! May your poop smell like turkey instead.....

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

helpful hint.

when you sprinkle while you tinkle be a sweetie wipe the seatie (:

I totally agree with the nurse, i am doing my midwifery training and i have two girls and i breastfed them, their poo smelt like digestive biscuts but as soon as i put them on solids, holy crap their nappies were bad, hats off to anyone who can have a job cleaning the throne other than your own, but im a girl and i love to have a nice crap even when my hubby is having a shower or when im in the bath he pops in to offload, it all part of the bonding process, even when i does smell!!!!!!
happy crapping to you all.

This is truly very brown.

lol you guys are too funny. Its gross...but its funny lmao.

Indole, skatole, mercaptans, and hydrogen sulfide are the chemicles that give dookie it's unique scent.

That being said, There's something about a nice Reuben sandwich with loads of sour krout...or really any cabbage in general seems to turn into pure methane in my gut.

Sometimes when I don't wipe, my ass hole gets really itchy - why does this happen?? Is it a rash of some sort? It reminds me of dane cook's 'itchy assholes' sketch! lol.

AnonPerson, your ass itches because it has ass-eating shit on it. The acid and bile salts in the poop breaks down the epidermis and viola! A raw itchy stinky ass. Do yourself and the world a favor and wipe your ass after you chuck a chunder. If you don't know how, here is how: 1. wipe with dry TP front to back until the chunky chunder is off. 2. wipe with wetwipe from the back- around,
over and in anus. Stick your wetwipe wrapped middle finger just past the external sphincter and gently spread the little ass wrinkles to get it all out. Then wipe front to back using same method. (If female don't touch the hhhahhmm with any crap napkins.)3. wipe again with dry tp. Also get some Acid Mantle cream and apply to the irritated area after each cleaning. I hope this helps you. Huggies green tea and cucumber wipes are soft and smell good(not baby smell). Scott 1000 sheet single ply leaves no butt dust and flushes well.

I think shit smell and its accompaniment of bells and whistles is a primitive inborn alarm system. It was the caveman warning to steer clear of the unseen squatter in action. The smell is the warning to not step or sit in shit.

No No No No, your shit doesn't smell, your nose does that for you. Your shit stinks, your nose smells.... Duh!

_______
like a constipated accountant- I worked it out with a pencil.

BVC, my poop indeed does smell. It also speaks, and if requested, does a mean soft shoe.

my poop smells like bad mince meat on a dead body. Sickly sweet- but sourly putrid. Should i be worried?

Heaven's no, no need to worry. Its far too late for that, you are far better served enjoying your last few minutes on earth.

I am a caucasian Englishman who has lived and worked in Africa for many years and, although I eat and drink exactly the same as the Africans, there is absolutely no question that their poop smells a great deal worse than mine. The question is why?

PD..........You seem to have very talented shit. I dearly love a good soft-shoe performance. My shit is more inclined to do tribal dances with tom-tom accompaniment while the onlookers shout
hey-ya, hey-ya, hey-ya.

I tried to teach one of my turds to break-dance but it's mad twirling slung corn kernels everywhere and we were both banned from Taco Bell forever.

My shit, by the way, does not stink, it reeks.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

someone changes 10,000 diapers a day? thats over 416 per hour, almost 7 a minute!

i dont believe that persons answers anymore with numbers like that. though, this is my first time, and last time at this site. bye!

I am a female and I usually poop twice a day. Shit just plain smells bad no matter who you are or what you eat or drink. No one's ass smells like a bed of roses. Mine sure doesn't.

Hayley, this site is for peoople who enjoy a bit of poop humour, NOT for flagrant liars such as yourself.

I mean, fancy coming on here and trying to convince everyone that you are a girl of the opposite sex and poop!!!!????

GIRLS DON'T POOP!

Charlatan!
_______
Did I just fart?.... Oh shit! NO!!

So BVC, if they don't poop then please explain
(in mathmatical terms) the existance of the second hole.

oh, okay,

As we have learnt from previous posts that have referred to poop at a physical, mathematical and even a quantum level, there are many things whose very existence can be explained by one, or more of theses 3 schools of thought.

We know for instance that we can get something from nothing, with the help of quantum mechanics, or that we can, through the application of both physics and mathematics, quantify the amount of splash-back any one turd would produce.

So, onto the 'second hole'.

There are two theories regarding its existence, the first and simplest, is likened to the existence of our coccyx, a 'throw back' if you like, to a point in our evolution when we had/needed a tail.

The Female Anus (or Anus girlius) to my mind is a function of the size of the female mouth verses the size of the female lung thus:

Variables
T= time (seconds)
L= lung capacity (cubic lutes)
Md= mouth diameter
RAdMax= required anal diameter at its maximum.
Vmax=oral max throughput

Constants;

pi
D=desired throughput.= ((22/7)/pi)

This is very simple, should Vmax>D then RadMax has a theoretical value of zero, so, we need to find Vmax. Hence:

Vmax=Md*L/T

if, for instance Vmax is found to have a value of 11 and RadMax has a value of 10.9, then the amount of shit diverted away from the female mouth and to the starfish has a value of zero.

Throughout evolution, the female of the species has learnt to develop Md to the point that the starfish is no longer of any use, as 100% of female excreta is vacated via the mouth, so leaving the 'second hole' redundant.

There have been some suggestions in higher circles, that this extra orifice could actually be used as a 'spare tampon' holder, for those times when a lady (of the opposite sex) gets caught short in the menstrual department (thats just left of the sporting goods department).

Hope I have been of some help.

(god I'm gonna get it in the ear for this one!)

_______
Did I just fart?.... Oh shit! NO!!

Bilge, LJ, Chief, Art. I'm making a large batch of popcorn for this one. Any drink preferences? I've also taken the liberty of securing some ponchos (ala Seaworld) for those of you in the front row. It could get messy.

We're gonna need a case of Starburst for Daphne as well...she's gonna need the energy. Wedgie, I'm sure, is gearing up, and Di...well....poor BVC...nice knowing ya.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

BVC..........You are the consummate mathematician. The only equation I can remember is the one that says;

The angle of the dangle times the mass of the ass equals the heat of the meat.

PD.......make mine a gin and tonic,
supersized.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Chief, don't forget to divide by the cube of the pube.

Bombay Sapphire ok?

PD....Cube of the pube it is. Don't waste money on Bombay Sapphire, I will drink almost anything. I usually get the generic that comes in five gallon
plastic buckets.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Thats ok, I have some that...er fell off the truck. Yeah, that's right. Fell right off.

Poncho's? no use my friend...... Oh I get it, look after number one! I'm off down to the basement to be furnished by one of the manservants with a full suit of armour, and thats only because I had to sell off the Sherman Tank when the 1st Barones ran off with the tampon delivery guy (yes, we do have them......) or was it sheep? cant quite recollect, anyhoo, I have a hole 6x6x3 being excavated in the grounds as we speak, and the very most reverend 'holier than thou bible bashing catholic Urduh speaking pufta Rabbi' has put me to rights with her upstairs.

There, I think I've offended everybody now.

OOh! and yo mutha......
_______
Did I just fart?.... Oh shit! NO!!

I am now officially shitting myself! *thinks.... I know what to do*

PD made me do it!

_______
Did I just fart?.... Oh shit! NO!!

CFB -The angle of the dangle times the mass of the ass equals the heat of the meat.

or

(Θ d)*G[M m/r2]
=temp.

_______
Did I just fart?.... Oh shit! NO!!

BVC, the silence (from the ladies corner) must be deafening. They must have taken to the mattresses. The armor will be useless unless you wish to be buried looking like a ball of discarded tin foil, but you may have earned a reprieve by referring to "her upstairs".
You are my friend, and I will stick by you in this. I am heading across the pond as we speak. (with my poncho)

Hey......just a minute....come back with that gin!!

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Chief, I left you a five gallon pail. It's on the shelf in my garage next to the gas can.

PD....Thanks buddy, I'll probably drink them both.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

CTB, I could fax you over some tonic water to go with the gin, but god knows what you will do with an empty gas can. (bless her)

_______
Did I just fart?.... Oh shit! NO!!

BVC, I wouldn't recommend faxing the tonic water. It'll probably ruin the fax machine.

I only drink gin and tonic for my health. The quinine in the tonic water keeps me safe from malaria.
Oops......got to have one now...
I think I see a mosquito.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

CFB, a G&T is my favourite tipple,
I see a Mozzie,
it's on my nipple!
The perfect excuse, for one to use,
when hankering for a dribble.

_______
Did I just fart?.... Oh shit! NO!!

why does my fart smell like beef stick and play peek a boo...ALL THE TIME!!!! Btw, black water is blasting out my butt lately, VERY painfully, Does the grudge have my soul???

Poop stinks so if you find some in a plate you will not confuse it with fudge.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Actually, poop is not supposed to smell at all. We all actually know that. Ever just have oatmeal, fruit and veggies with chicken and salads with tons of excercise and cold/hot showers for weeks? Try if not. You'll start to see that it does not small and there are most days, you can try to wipe but there is nothing there.

Binkywhistler......WHat planet are you from? Here on Earth shit stinks and butts usually require some wiping.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Chief, he must be from Jupiter. Poop there, along with residue, smell, and dingleberries get sucked away by the immense gravity. Even porta-potties on Jupiter don't smell.

I am not from Jupitor but my sister often refers to me as Na-nu Na-nu.

My boyfriends shit smells soooo bad. I know all shit smells but we have even had company complain about the smell 3 hours after he shit!! Me and him eat the same food so how come his shit stinks way worse than mine? And also everytime I drink coffee I either need 2 shit right away or get diarrhea. Y is that?? Damn I love starbucks but I only drink it if im goin straight home... lol

Just think about it for a minute shitgurl. Starbucks is warm, brown, and runny. Not a whole lot of changing needs to go on after you drink it.

Gals dont poop

Nuh uh, non crapper.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

I have been told that I may have the worst smelling organic bricks in recent history.
The repulsive odor has been attributed to the following factors , Booze , High meat and frequent fast food diet , lots of sweets , stress , limited exercise , and poor sleep.

You wouldn't happen to be related to our friend Feto D. Walcott, would you?

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

I am sorry but I just not not see the logic between food does not smell - so poo should not smell. would some people eat if their food tasted like poo?

Dont forget every time you hear someone fart yell out "THUNDER SHIT, I hope it is all lies!"

holly molly I made a mistake, on 12.31.2008
My brain must of got fogged over with poop.

"would some people eat if their food tasted like poo?"

should read;
would some people eat if their food smelled like poo?

Energy drinks seem to do the worst damage to the toilets I break. That and a match anyway.

Why does poo smell?

Easy. So that blind people can appreciate it too.

Hmpff

Stevie Wonder

Perhaps 'Stevie' can enlighten me on something?

When the first bit of bogroll touches my anus and I have that initial first wipe, I always check the paper to see how much mess there is down there and again on subsequent wipes until satisfactory. While one or two wipes is sufficient most of the time (if you are lucky enough to lay one of those rapturously joyful sleek spongy beauties that emerges effortlessly through the anus almost with an inner sigh.Bliss.) a sticky one, as we all know, can take up to an hour and half a roll of bumwad to put right. Obviously, the general feel is a good indicator of how much collateral damage there is, but I daresay that I, like most sighted people, largely base my conception of the cleanliness of my nipsy based on the fact that no brown smears remain on the paper after rubbing it against my spicy ring.

Blind people of course, often have a heightened sense of touch, so I assume that the wiper can usually tell from the feel whether he's clean enough, but are there any additional checks that one may perform? Does he, for example, sniff the paper?

I have FU money sir. I employ a full time ass inspector and finger sniffer, although in these trying economic times he has been doing double duty as my personal chef.

S.W.

Stevie can also hear when his ass is clean.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

I think tightening ones belt too tight might be a mitigating factor in turd stink. When one factors the amount of formentation in the gut, it might be reasonable to deduct that a stationary fetal poo, like hops in a corked beer keg, indeed gains strength with time.

_______
If fiber is roughage then cheese is smoothage

As I went off on a pootangent earlier, I should actually give my own opinion of what makes some shits smell worse than others. IMHO, it's the time it spends festering in the bowels.

Pooing, as we all pretty much agree, is the most fun one can have fully clothed. It feels immensely satisfying, is attractive to look at and a lovely, fibrous, spongey stool smells pretty good too. It's kinda like that farmyard aroma, whereby it quite obviously smells of shite, but it's not an altogether unpleasant odour. A healthy smell, although not, perhaps, a fragrence that Hugo Boss would wish to replicate for their next perfume.

As a man who enriches his life by shitting an average 4 times per diem, I seldom have the opportunity or inclination to 'bake' a poo. If I feel the least tug in my colon, I like to get it out asap and the idea of hanging onto it until a more convenient time, horrifies me. It's such a fantastic feeling, giving birth to that beautiful brown baby, that shitting, for me, is an opportunity for recreation, and I never miss the chance of having one. As such, things move pretty quickly through my system and by and large, the poo that comes out of my arse is good and healthy - usually a 4 on the Bristol Scale - and smells of poo, obviously, but it isn't a foul stench.

However, I said it horrifies me to hold it in, and it does, because to back one up and bake it for a few hours, seriously fucks my guts up. For a start, my natural rhythm is put out of kilter, which is bloody annoying, but it's also bloody uncomfortable. My arse just isn't used to holding it back, so my belly hurts, and when my overcooked brown trout finally gets a chance to kiss the water, it's changed consistency, so that when it makes it's dive, it's firmer, takes a second or so longer than it should to emerge fully, and subsequently, one's nipsy messily crimps off the end like an ineptly wielded cigar-cutter, instead of finishing it off neatly, and then coughs out the stump. It's acceptable of course, to poo in several sections, but when one is labouring to lay a compacted log and has almost succeeded in pumping out a single glorious length of gutpaste, but then due to some infernal involuntary reflex it's broken into two...well, it's the wrong side of enough and I don't care for it above half! But that's beside the point, which is that these poops, the ones that have been baked for a while, well they stink like a Cairo sewer. I assume that the bacteria which cause the aroma are multiplying more rapidly when they have been fermenting in the bowel, and the longer the fudge stays packed in the poo-pocket, the worse the aroma gets when it emerges.

So in essence, if your poo really smells bad, start going at the first sign of pressure down there and don't let it cook.

By the way, I still await an answer to how blind people know they they've wiped properly. But I suppose I'll never know.

Tally ho!

Now that I'm thinking about it... maybe the guide dog gets involved. After all, they can't leave other dogs arses alone, so perhaps cleansing Master's ringpiece is part of the training, helping also in adding variety to their diet.

I think we should be told.

So if your poop smells, does that mean you are unhealthy?

you guys are seriously fckd up.

Why's that, onlooker?

Anns I'm STILL waiting for an answer about blind people wiping their arses.

omg haha its intresting about what you people talk about...but anyways, i only shit like once a week...if that, is that normal?!? and idk since were talking about poop i thought about something and wanted to talk about it. i live on a farm and theres a lot of farms around where i live and i love getting up at like 3 in the morning to do barn chores and smelling cow manure/horse manure ITS FABULOUS!

Hey, Poopy Pants. What stinks more than shit is boiled eggs. And brussel sprouts stink, too

I would like to know why my poop sticks to the BR Bowl after flushing several times?

Poo-poo's smell is partially a result of the time each bolus spends in the sinuous slide of stink, but also is a result of the horrible imbalance of bacteria in our colons. The modern diet, filled with processed foods, booze, sugars, as well as non-dietary things such as smoking, deoderants, and basically any chemical that you expose yourself to kill off the good bacteria, yielding an overpopulation of bad bacteria that stinks. To combat this, one can only do his best to eat high-fiber, organic foods and supplement with megadoses of PROBIOTICS, which should help to level out your intestinal bacteria and not only clean up the smell a bit, but improve your overall health. Also, I've found that protein is the worst shit-stinkifier...especially protein milkshakes and tunafish.

Is anyone ever going to explain how blind people wipe their arses, or am I asking too much to think that somebody might enlighten me?

poop reeks period. And mine is no exception. I smoke a shit load of weed and eat carls jr every fucking day and my shit smells ripe. every time.

how do you get someone you love to eat indian food and mexican food, then sit on your face after it's been digested. i love sniffing assholes.

Dear ass sniffer.....I am a lovable old man who eats almost anything and loves to sit on faces. Can I meet you sometime after a good hot curry with a side order of hot tamales?

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Chief, I'd be worried about infection here. You have no idea where his nose has been.

EScumdiddy, blind people wipe just like anybody else. I don't need my eyes to wipe. It could be pitch black and I would have more trouble finding the toilet than I would my butt. I poo in nightlight lite in the middle of the night every nite. I don't turn the light on for wiping. I could blind fold yourself to find out how blind people wipe. I'm sure chief and pD will have a wisecrack coming for you.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Ok! My girlfriend has asked me this question and i will bring it to you ass doctors! Why is it that a babies asshole is white but an adults is brown?

I haven't ever seen a white asshole on a baby. I have seen pink and red ones and brown ones on dark skinned babies. Basically it is a skin pigment thing the darker your skin the darker your asshle is. I think it is the same with areolas(the part around a nipple).
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

I like to eat raw chicken with my buddies and then we keep pooping in the same toilet without flushing until the final load is dropped. If the toilet doesnt flush, the last pooper has to fix the problem

Your parents must be so proud of you.

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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Sir-poops-a-lot. You didn't happen to flunk biology did you? Bilgepump hit the nail right on the head here.

That's nuts! That's foolish! You and your raw-chicken eating friends need to have your heads examined. Make an appointment at Thunderbutt/Doggin Institute. Payment is expected at time of service.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

This is a great page. I have been trying to find a way to keep ass-smell away (not poo-smell, but the sweaty ass odor that comes with a hard day at work). I've started to enjoy the sharp odor of an adult ass a bit. Am I alone in this?

Also -- have always been massively entertained by the smell of poop and heavy farts. Carrots and whole milk definitely add to the stink of a baked loaf.

Gay poo, you sound like a poopreporter so why don't you register? That sharp ass smell is genetic. Some have it sharp and some asses have it mild. I'm not keen on sharp ass smells myself but Bilgepump probably likes it.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

I went from having nasty IBS diarrhea that smelled like burning tires and roadkill, to having healthy, well-formed, almost odorless poop. Two words: Food combining!
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You have to change what goes into your body if you want to change what comes out of it.

You guys are so funny (and some very intelligent)! Everytime I eat garlic, in a few hours my poop will smell like garlic, it will burn a little bit, and is smushy but not runny. Is this normal, or do I have a sensitivity to garlic?

LiLac22281.....How much garlic do you eat? I purchase fresh garlic in three pound bags and have not noticed any garlic smell in my BMs. One of my favorite condiments to accompany Asian food is pickled garlic, I put away quite a bit of it.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Handing Chief a Q-tip, to use for cleaning out your nose.

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How I beat IBS

The garlic smell usually oozes out of your pores, especially when you sweat. So does curry powder. Don't believe me? Just go into any NJ gas station and take a whiff of the attendant. It won't be gasoline.

I have actually never thought that garlic breath was offensive. The bad breathe that bothers me is that rank smell that comes from the mouth of those with rotten teeth or with little pieces of meat trapped and fermenting away between their choppers.

In my opinion all shit stinks, except mine of course, and garlic makes it no worse. Actually a nice garlic and onion fart, from my vent only, has a charming and playful aroma. I am willing to mail out samples for the curious if Postman is OK with delivering them.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

This time it was olives with garlic in them...about 5 cloves? I tasted the garlic before I decided to chow down cuz I've had this "problem" before, and the garlic was not "hot." Well...it took me 3 days to eat the whole jar, maybe I just over-did it with the garlic. Thanks you guys, you are so funny! PR.com should have it's own stand-up comedy show! Hey, does this mean I have to register now? :)

You don't have to, at all, but we encourage it.

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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Bilge, we need to do some research to see if we already have a garlic reeking PR with smushy turd problems.

I could have some fun with garlic scented turds.
Yes, PD, I would also like to know if this has happened to others. Perhaps it could be replicated.
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Every poop is not to be told to every body.

Or would that be rectumcated?
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Every poop is not to be told to every body.

Why does my wifes ass still smell like shit even after a shower?

We need more info in order to give you a correct diagnosis...was it you or she that took the shower?

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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

I think it all has to do with food combinations. By example, take cheap beer (alot of it) and add some nasty combination of white castles, onion chips and wendy's chili and there will be no wonder why it stinks.